Hello and a question

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nrz242
nrz242 Posts: 76
in Introduce Yourself
Hi there! I'm Nadia - brand new to this site and looking forward to all the help I can get here. So far this seems like an incredible tool and a wonderful community. I do have a question for anyone out there who might want to shoot me an answer... Any of you ever deal with "relationship apathy" in terms of losing/gaining weight, exercise, health, etc.? You know when you come home from a long day, tired but with plans for working out and staying on track... And then you plant yourself on the couch next to your significant other and kill a bag of chips and two sodas while watching back to back episodes of whatever happens to be on whatever channel you just flipped to until you look up and realize its midnight and you couldn't do a push up even if you wanted to which you really don't?

Anybody but me ever just feel totally lethargic whenever you get to have some quality time? And if so (really hoping I'm not alone in this) what motivates you to find the discipline to keep up the energy and stick to the fitness goal? I've stuck to my guns and got in great shape fast before but never in a relationship and I'm finding the balancing act more difficult than I expected. My boyfriend has great plans for getting in shape as well but when we're together... well, we have some bad habits to break and its hard to want to kill a comfortable moment together. If anyone has any advice from their own relationships I would gladly love to hear - Thanks so much!

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  • tinad120
    tinad120 Posts: 267 Member
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    Hey- my fiance and I were like that too. With a super hectic schedule, it's hard to find quality time with one another. If you both have plans to get fit, then why not do that together. My fiance and I have set dates at the gym everyday after school + work, and it feels great to be near him (even if we're not doing the same thing). It's a great support system, and a great time together. Plus, you don't feel guilty afterwards.

    Also, another tip I learned somewhere here...if you have stuff to do after you get home, don't sit down! Once you're down, you never get back up!

    Good luck, Feel free to add if you need support! :)
  • sabinavaughan
    sabinavaughan Posts: 109 Member
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    Hubby has same ideas but finally is taking walks with me. I had to force myself just to go even if he didn't feel like it. I don't eat the junk like he does anymore...ewww...he wants to get into shape but he isn't as motivated as me.

    hun you have to make the time for yourself. They will come along when they are ready. Even if its just going for an hour walk....get snacks in the house that are healthy for you and let him munch...you can't force him to do it until he is ready but set yourself up for success...you never know..once he sees you doing it he might just join in!

    Good luck

    Oh and welcome!! This is an awesome sight with a TON of information!
  • jebo1982
    jebo1982 Posts: 85 Member
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    My bf and i definitely had that. We changed it by making it a date to exercise together. We would plan to go to the gym, take a walk, hike, etc. And as soon as we got home from work or school, we would immediately leave to go exercise.. Otherwise it would be too easy to sit on the couch and not move again til bedtime.
  • nadiamode
    nadiamode Posts: 35
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    Why hello there Nadia. I'm Nadia too! lol welcome to the site :)
    As for your question, yes that sounds familiar.. especially when we'd been together a while. My partner and I used to work late, then we'd do nothing but plonk on the couch watching tv, have late night snacks and binge.
    It's great that your boyfriend plans to get in shape too, you can both be a great support for each other. But what I find most helpful is when one of us takes the lead and gets the momentum going.
    There's no 'gradual' way to do it... no 'next week, next month, next christmas we're going to be healthy'. In my case I just up and announced 'Okay, I have to change our lifestyle now, and it'd be great if you do it with me'. I started going to the gym and working out at home, and also making healthier meals. My partner was a big support and seeing my progress (I was always heavier) was inspired to change as well. Now we go running together, we're both fitter and celebrate small victories together. :)
    Best of luck to you, and enjoy the journey! Once you commit to it, it's kinda fun.
  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
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    Yes, My boyfriend is trying to get muscley..er (i'm tired and can't think lol) and I'm trying to lose weight, we are both pretty good during the week. I only see my boyfriend weekends, but when it comes, we go off the rails. Luckily it means just two days a week but we are trying to sort it out. So difficult x
  • StefPayne
    StefPayne Posts: 126 Member
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    I was having the same problem and now I have started working out in the mornings before work. It means I have to get up an hour earlier, but it is so worth it. I have a good workout in for the day and it leaves my evening free for other things. Some mornings it is really tough to get up and get going, but I just push myself and think about the free time I will have that evening!!
  • robin820
    robin820 Posts: 150 Member
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    Nadia, for me, I find it easier to just get up in the morning and get it done Then I can do whatever I want to in the evening and I feel better all day about it! >:O)
  • Luciabella07
    Luciabella07 Posts: 205 Member
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    Yes! I have been through weight fluctuations almost according to new relationships and break-ups. Two years ago I was working out 5 days a week with my ex boyfriend who also liked to work out. I then broke up with him and lost a lot of weight because I wasnt eating much and had stopped working out. I then met my most recent boyfriend and put on about 50 pounds in the new relationship. We ate horribly! We always ate out and ate fast food - pizza, subs, chinese food, Wendys you name it. Ironically, we have just broken up but are still friends and we now go to the gym together! lol. I am going to promise myself in future relationships to stick with my lifestyle of working out and eating right.
  • lessoff
    lessoff Posts: 19
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    fake it until you make it. it is going to be rough at first to get moving, but once you start doing it it will get easier.
    i plan my workouts on sunday night i figure out which days im going to work out and what is coming up. i wish my husband would get on board with this, but for now he stays at home while i go to the gym.
    good luck
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    I am very fortunate that my partner is very supportive. She follows the same healthy eating habits I am trying to follow, helps me figure the calories in each meal we share (even though it's tedious and annoying), walks with me in the afternoons and when weather forbids walking, she makes me play Wii games with her. She is very thin, but believes this is good for BOTH of us in the long run. Lifestyle changes!

    She also helps moderate my indulgence. She talks me down from eating desserts on my high calorie days by suggesting we eat leaner the next day and have it then. So although my counts may be above or below for several days, my weekly goal is on par.

    Like a few previous posters have said, find healthy things the two of you can do together. And plan to do them BEFORE you sit down.
  • oceansablue
    oceansablue Posts: 53
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    My boyfirend and I have are trying to lose weight and have encountered your problem. One thing that seems to help us out is once a week we weigh each other. It helps keeps both of us motivated. We've, also started going to the park/mall just to talk and walk around after dinner. It's a good bonding time and while it's not the greatest exercise in the world it is something.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    My boyfriend and I had this bad habit. We work different shifts (I'm 9am-5pm, he's 2pm-10pm) so he would eat dinner at work and I'd eat dinner when I got home from work. He would get home around 10:30pm and we'd hit taco bell or something similar to eat another LARGE meal together.. so yeah, we'd have at least 2 dinners. When we were bored we'd order pizza, cook, etc. It was pretty bad.

    Nowadays he eats smaller amounts at work and then dinner when he gets home. I eat a snack while he eats his dinner. We both work out together on weekends and alone throughout the work week and we've found our rhythm! It takes a little while but it'll happen.
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    Yep. Definitely familiar. If you can't work out in the morning as others suggested, try taking your workout clothes to work with you and change before you leave. Head to the park for a walk or run. Or if you prefer to work out at home, at least you're already one step into it when you get in the door.

    The good news is that exercise gives you energy, so once you get started on the habit, the lethargy will decrease. Welcome to MFP and best of luck on your journey!
  • foxgl0ve
    foxgl0ve Posts: 43 Member
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    On the junk food front, I no longer bring my favorite unhealthy snacks home. I try to keep lots of healthy snacks around like grapes, nuts, popcorn, even some cheddar bunnies.

    If I really want the chocolate or the soda bad enough, I have to get up and walk to the store to buy it (which sometimes I do), but it keeps the idle munching at bay.

    Scheduling gym time and together time helps too. I loved the idea of us working out together, but it turns out I hated the reality... Good luck! Hope you find a balance that works for you.

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