Family member on a "diet" I dont agree with :(

celebrity328
celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have a family member who is doing a diet plan (HGC) that I feel is not only unhealthy but also dangerous. I have read so much on MFP from people who have try this diet/or experienced some real health problems I am really worried! Today I log onto facebook and read this persons lost 15Lbs in the last two weeks and I just cant force myself to even comment on their status :( I feel kinda like a jerk!

I guess my question is should I tell this person my concerns or just keep my mouth shut and let them do what they do?

Replies

  • laurelderry
    laurelderry Posts: 384 Member
    I wouldn't say anything unless you're asked- just to avoid that awkward "confrontation." If they ask you if you've noticed their weight loss, or what you think- then I would offer an honest heartfelt opinion.
  • leafstucker16
    leafstucker16 Posts: 136 Member
    When it's something like the HCG diet I personally wouldn't hold back. I would say something. The fact that people waste money on this and think it's something that they can sustain long term just baffles me. I see the allure, losing weight fast but your on a 500 cal diet...your body cannot sustain itself on 500 cals. And then the injections or "drops".....People shouldn't be allowed to sell this crap.
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
    I should also say that this person has had two weight loss surgeries that resulted in mass weight loss however all was gained back and them some. I guess I am feeling like a jack@ss for not being "supportive" however when you only consume 500 calories a day its not only unhealthy its down right dangerous.

    The excuse that gets me is "well I have clients who have done this diet and they lost weight." Is what really bothers me the most.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    Do you think your opinion will actually be listened to and the result will be doing them a favor? If so, it might be worth mentioning exactly once, in a private face-to-face conversation, in a very non-confrontational manner (perhaps a suggestion to look into the dangers of HGC for themselves).

    After that, it's on them. If they start to argue, just say "I have no intention of telling you how to live your life. What you take is your own decision. I'm just recommending that you take a second look at it and make sure this is something you really want to do. I love you and I'd hate to see you get hurt."

    On Facebook, in front of everyone else, congratulate them on their weight loss and leave it at that. Or remain silent if you choose.
  • specialkyc
    specialkyc Posts: 384 Member
    I have a family member who is doing a diet plan (HGC) that I feel is not only unhealthy but also dangerous. I have read so much on MFP from people who have try this diet/or experienced some real health problems I am really worried! Today I log onto facebook and read this persons lost 15Lbs in the last two weeks and I just cant force myself to even comment on their status :( I feel kinda like a jerk!

    I guess my question is should I tell this person my concerns or just keep my mouth shut and let them do what they do?

    I wish I knew the answer because after trying for months to get my mom to join MFP (which she did but hasn't used it), I found out that she started the HGC plan with the shots and the whole nine yards this past Saturday. I know I sounded disappointed when she talked about it, but I don't want her to think I'm not being supportive so I don't really say anything.
  • Zombielicious
    Zombielicious Posts: 246 Member
    People are going to do what they want to do regardless of what you say, even if you present them with evidence of WHY it's so bad for them...ESPECIALLY since they have lost so much weight thus far. The thing that will suck for them is that as soon as they start consuming more than the daily 500 calories they're going to gain all that weight back and then some...and hopefully that's the ONLY problem they'll experience from such a crazy fad diet.
  • ang3h
    ang3h Posts: 185 Member
    They are gonna gain that weight right back (and perhaps more than they lost).. when that happens, then they'll probably be open to advice ;)
  • Rockmyskinnyjeans
    Rockmyskinnyjeans Posts: 431 Member
    Ooo I'm in before the lock on the HCG diet. I don't agree with it. I have a friend who did it. She lost 25 lbs and gained back all that plus 10 or 15 more. A person cannot sustain on 500 cals/day. It doesn't teach you how to maintain for the long term.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    If a friend of mine were on a dangerous diet, I'd probably flat out tell them. But then, I can be blunt :tongue: . Maybe bring a conversation around to her diet, ask some questions and then add your opinion to it.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    I would tell them but not on their status. I would just inform them of the negative effects of the diet and explain why the weight loss isn't sustainable and that they should really look further into the harm that they're doing to their body.

    Maybe call them, visit them or even send a facebook message if that's all you can do. I would definitely give them fair warning though just in case they're not already aware.

    ETA: Maybe even link her to different websites explaining why you feel the way you feel.
    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/hcg-diet-starving-pregnancy-hormones/story?id=13003120#.UEEwJbLwia8
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Your opinion is unlikely to be welcomed. Some people have to learn things the hard way.
  • 2012asv
    2012asv Posts: 702 Member
    If she is a family member, I would definitely (privately) inform her of the health risks. After that it's up to her, but at LEAST you will have a clear conscious.
  • abiwotnot
    abiwotnot Posts: 8 Member
    Losing weight is so hard, we all know that, and I guess when you feel "desperate" what you want is the miracle cure - it does sound very unhealthy though and must result is so many deficiencies that the body needs in order to keep going :-( If she has undergone surgery before then tbh I don't think anything you say will change things so I'd probably not voice my opinion x
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
    Not to mention there is no evidence that the drops are real HCG, and even if they are, that HCG has any benefit in making you less hungry, or cause your body to access fat stores or any of that non-sense. I actually got into it with the owner of the waxing studio I used to go to, then they started selling HCG. I won't go back. I think HCG is such a scam and she actually said that the FDA banned it because the FDA wants people to stay fat because that is how they make money.
    anyway, it gets me riled up...
  • Mondia1
    Mondia1 Posts: 8
    Always follow your heart. Just find the most tactful way to do so. Back up your concerns with facts, information about the unhealthy side effects. Don't do it on a public forum-send a private message. Most of all, tell the person your motivation is out of love.
  • Aeriel
    Aeriel Posts: 864 Member
    I have friends that have done the same thing. I express my concerns once, tell them to research the health risks, and offer to show them MFP if they are interested, since they saw me lose 60+ pounds and maintain it for over a year before getting pregnant. No point in mentioning it more than once. Then I just avoid commenting, and if they ask why, I just say I already gave you my opinion on this. Good luck!
  • Gogretchen1
    Gogretchen1 Posts: 74
    I should also say that this person has had two weight loss surgeries that resulted in mass weight loss however all was gained back and them some. I guess I am feeling like a jack@ss for not being "supportive" however when you only consume 500 calories a day its not only unhealthy its down right dangerous.

    The excuse that gets me is "well I have clients who have done this diet and they lost weight." Is what really bothers me the most.

    I don't think there is any harm in being honest- especially if she is a good friend of yours. If there is any diet that will result in gaining all of the weight back plus some it is something like that!! If your friend is having weight problems- no matter how much she invests in online research and expensive products or procedures- there is not a single "diet" or "plan" that works besides an honest lifestyle change. Her argument is that it makes you lose weight? Well of course it does. A strict diet of one cheeseburger a day would make you lose 15 lbs in two weeks, too. That doesn't mean its an effective weight loss method. Just bring it up in a respectful, calm, and loving manner that doesn't make her feel attacked or stupid and you could potentially save her a ton of money and devastation of repeating the past.
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    So i hadn't heard of HGC before, so i went to the website.
    It claims that the weight loss is permanent, ( too good to be true), but how would you counter argue that?
    Also "results garunteed" ( well d'uh if u only eat 500 cals)

    Is there not an organisation we can complain to about the false advertising?
  • Zeromilediet
    Zeromilediet Posts: 787 Member
    Weight issues are a personal thing ... so is food. Everyone of us has grown up with food and eating, enjoying or looking to foods for comfort, or developed adaptive behaviors around food. So, it's difficult to offer up advice on food, eating, and weight issues without touching a nerve. Your family member has chosen invasive and IMO unhealthy approaches to dealing with excess weight that ignore long term health. While I'd personally be going through a wall to make them understand these choices are not good for his/her health, I also know myself well enough (so likely most people as well) that someone telling me something I'm not ready to hear will be brushed aside ... that's human nature, I think.

    You can tell your family member what you feel, but be prepared for push-back ... the bottom line is your comments are coming from concern and love, and not criticism; maybe convey that as well. Good luck to you.
  • turkeywings
    turkeywings Posts: 20 Member
    I did HCG last year, I managed to get down to lower than pre-baby weight for the first time since high school. I lost 32 lbs in 45 days. It was like a "miracle diet" to me. The first thing that ever worked. And worked fast. Hard to argue with that. But... my hair was falling out like crazy and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the last week of the first phase (500 cal phase) and my eyes were all dark and sunken in. No wonder, I was starving myself.

    I kept it off for around 6 months. I had friends that did it as well with the same results, so I thought it was great. But we've all since gained it back (and then some). The more I think about it now I wonder if the homeopathic hcg drops were anything more than overpriced water drops and it was all a placebo because I know for that first week I was so sick from starvation feelings.

    I wouldn't say anything on her facebook, but go head in person. Even when I was on hcg there were plenty of sites saying how you'll hear bad things and that those people just don't understand it's safe, and I believed it. But now I know better. So expect her to still stay on it, she's just lost 15 lbs. But she'll learn later on when she goes back to eating normal, that you were right.
  • ordinarybeauty
    ordinarybeauty Posts: 7
    It depends on your relationship to this family member and how much you care about them. If you have a good relationship or a close one and you are coming from a place of caring about them, then saying something gently to them in private and only once is a good idea. If you don't care for them or have a distant relationship, then staying quiet is a good idea.

    Anther way to look at is to ask yourself which choice will make you feel the best about you. That is the choice to make.
  • mom2sons02
    mom2sons02 Posts: 111 Member
    I had a friend who was thinking about HCG. I asked her to read ALL viewpoints, not just the good ones. You tend to look for and find what you want. She actually listened and decided not to go that direction.
  • golferd
    golferd Posts: 400 Member
    Tell her that is great news, and encourage her to come on this site to keep it off. Losing is never hard, it is keeping it off.

    Maybe she can learn the right way
  • seattlelite
    seattlelite Posts: 2
    If this is someone you care about more than you simply disagree with her choice, you could try coming at it from a different angle than the weight loss. Ask her how she's feeling and what is she doing for fun these days. Talk about how much energy you have and the things about your appearance (other than just weight loss) that you notice changing and are proud of. At some point she will realize for herself that she doesn't feel good, that her face is looking tired and old, that she can't seem to think clearly, and isn't enjoying life as much as she could.
    If she talks to you about these feelings, then you can ask what she is doing differently that might account for it all. Hopefully, she'll figure it out for herself somewhere along the line and it won't be you being judgemental.
    If she's not able to see it, then you've done all you can. She's fortunate to have someone who cares. You're a good friend.

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