Feeling really down
hmparkin23
Posts: 91 Member
I'm sat at home in my flat on a Friday night, on my own, feeling really down and lonely, and the temptation just to eat is massive. I got dumped just over four weeks ago and still finding it hard to adjust to being on my own. I don't know what I think anyone can say that will make me feel better but kinda just feel the need to get it out there...
Hope everyone here has had a good day?
Helen.xx
Hope everyone here has had a good day?
Helen.xx
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Replies
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Must be even harder in the Smoke with all the food available, and crap on the tele. Shame not abit nearer, I could at least buy you diet cola or something down the pub. I could tell them you are my granddaughter
[50 miles down A3 BTW, near Portsmouth]0 -
I am currently seperated after 15 years of marriage and have 3 kids with me full time... I have struggled with being lonely and wanting to eat. I finally took up running and it has honestly helped so much with the stress and wanting to emotionally eat. I always remind myself of how if I give in, I will only feel worse in the long run. Exercise would definately help. Trying to focus on a hobby or something. I am on mfp all the time, partially for my healthy lifestyle change, and partly to socialize with others. I wish you luck. You are a young, beautiful girl...give it some time and you'll bounce back:)0
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hope yr feeling happier soon, his loss you deserve better, just wait until youve reached your goal,how good you will feel, keep strong! joanne xx0
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Hang in there sweetie. All things move in cycles. It'll get better. My advice: exercise regularly and cook all of your own food. No processed anything. Whole, organic foods, if possible. And do the MFP routine religously.0
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Helen,
I know it's hard adjusting to being alone. I had to do it not too long ago. Just keep in mind that this can also be a great gift to yourself. You now have time to really get to know yourself and love your own company. I know this sounds crazy...but I had this terrible compulsion to always be with someone, to the point where I was finding myself in some unhealthy relationships just to have the "company". I was so afraid to just be by myself, because I thought that meant I was alone. I was wrong!
Being single for a while gave me the freedom to figure out a few things about myself. I learned about what it is that I love about myself and what I am capable of as a strong independent woman. Gaining this new confidence in myself gave me a tremendous love for me and my self worth.
It's time for you! Do things for you and feel fantastic about it!
Hope this helps a bit.
Katie0 -
Such nice posts! I agree that exercise is the key to keeping positive -- I love the advice that you should tell yourself if you give in you will feel worse in the long run. Hang in there -- you ARE beautiful Helen. Susan0
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Sorry to hear about your breakup.
I do hope you feel better soon and try to keep positive.
If you feel like eating, go for a walk instead. Do something else if that's a worry for you. I have been battling depression for a while and this trick works.
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Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together. I'm pulling for you! Add me if you need someone to cheer you on.0
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I'm sat at home in my flat on a Friday night, on my own, feeling really down and lonely, and the temptation just to eat is massive.
Helen.xx
Did you resist, or at least not do too badly?0 -
Been there. Just to let you know things will get better. Just hang in there0
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Hi, hope you're feeling better today :flowerforyou:0
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Good Saturday morning well today is a new day all you can do is try harder. Believe me talking about feeling down I have been going to the gym at least b3-4 days a week and still have not lost an oz, now that is depressing.
I really dont know what to do any more I have even tried Dr. Oz green Bean diet ...so depressed0 -
Just hang in there and stay strong.0
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Hope you are feeling better today as well. Loneliness is very hard I agree. Maybe you have a close friend you could call and vent to - just having someone to listen without saying anything is helpful to me sometimes. I have a lot of hobbies, so I tend to turn to them when I am feeling blah or sometimes I just get in the car and go for a drive.
My mom has been alone herself for the last 5 years since my dad passed - the first time in her life ever being alone. It was a hard adjustment for her. She didn't know how to do anything except for the cooking and cleaning. Now she is handling everything quite beautifully after learning. Loneliness is sometimes still an issue for her, as she lives in the country, but I tell her she has the power to help change that too by joining a group or calling some old friends.
Don't let life pass you by, live it whether perfect or not so perfect at times 0 -
Soo sorry to see u feeling this way:(. I will tell you that you were someone before you met this person and that someone is still there. Get out there and exercise, jog, run etc. Do it for yourself and give yourself the time u need to feel sad, then you've just got to move. Give it time, it's the healer of all things. Take care of yourself 0
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*(*(*(*hugs*)*)*)* I know the feeling. I've been single over 10 years now, and it gets lonely (although I know you will never be alone as long as I have been), but you can find things to do to fill the time that you enjoy. Pick up a hobby, or get back into one that you used to like. Go out for a walk. Find local events to go out to. If I lived closer, I would take you out and have some fun!
<3 Hang in there, you are worth it! 0 -
I hope that you have a better day today. There is such strength in putting feelings in writing. I hope that doing so in combination with all the support here will make it a bit easier.
{{{Hug}}}0 -
I have felt exactly as you described for many of the years of my life. My reasons weren't the same, but the feeling of being trapped in a hole and not able to get out and finding comfort and forgetfulness in food are the same. My personal experience is to keep active. Turn your pain and anger outward rather than inward through exercise. Exercise changes body chemistry for the better and improves outlook and mood. Go for a walk, use a treadmill (can you buy a small one for your flat?) or go to the gym. If you don't feel like exercise, break the bad momentum and change what you are doing...get out of the tempting house and go to a museum, shopping, a drive, a park...anything to break the mood and the urge to eat. Move! Take control of it by changing what you are doing, and do this before the feelings get too strong. It feels good to be in control, and the more you are in control the better you will feel about yourself and your situation. Make the snowball (effect) go in your favor.0
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Hope you are feeling much better today than you did last night. You have to just dig as deep as you can to find your motivation. It is not easy to find as it is usually tucked away somewhere in between fed up and depressed but it is in there somewhere! Whack your trainers on when you get the urge to nibble on rubbish and walk around the block a couple of times. A friend once said to me when I was where you are: think of three things in your life your you are proud of and write them down as this helps to solidify the strong person that you have been. Then set yourself a goal. Think of one thing that you would really like to do in the next year and mark it on the calender on the date you want to have achieved it. It can be anything at all and this will help solidify the person you are going to be from today forward.
Good luck and stay positive .... if I can do it, anyone can ..... believe me.
Lorna xx0 -
You will probably look back and realize that it is a blessing that person is no longer in your life. It takes time for you to see that.
Enjoy the time you have alone to read some books, join a new club, exercise, shop, go to movies you want to see and be good to yourself. You can fix healthy foods for yourself and focus on getting healthier. Being alone and peaceful is much better than being
in the stress of a bad relationship.0 -
Hi Helen. Being dumed hurts, but giving in to your craving to overeat will hurt you more. Stay strong and positive, and you will get through all things. Good Luck and congats on your weight loss!0
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Have you tried cutting out anything with flour? The No Sugar, No Flour Diet might help get you going.0
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The end of a relationship is going to make you feel bad. Sounds like you need a girls evening out without blowing your healthy eating. Your grieving the end of this phase of your life just know it ok and part of life. Contact some girl pals and get out.0
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hmparkin23 wrote:I don't know what I think anyone can say that will make me feel better but kinda just feel the need to get it out there...
Other than you are young, beautiful and have a pretty sweet gig at the museum I can't think of a thing. :-)0 -
Just keep in mind that this can also be a great gift to yourself. You now have time to really get to know yourself and love your own company. I know this sounds crazy...but I had this terrible compulsion to always be with someone, to the point where I was finding myself in some unhealthy relationships just to have the "company". I was so afraid to just be by myself, because I thought that meant I was alone. I was wrong!
Being single for a while gave me the freedom to figure out a few things about myself. I learned about what it is that I love about myself and what I am capable of as a strong independent woman. Gaining this new confidence in myself gave me a tremendous love for me and my self worth.
It's time for you! Do things for you and feel fantastic about it!
This is very good advice. I use to always need to be around other people. Now I actually enjoy being by myself as well as being around other people. Go out with friends too. It really does help. Also maybe start writing in a journal how you are feeling. In a few months go back and read what you wrote. Chances are you will be a lot better place by then.
Hope today is a better day!0 -
These are the times when we have to have hope and know that God is there, right by our side helping us get through each minute. Read Pslams 42, cry out for God, He will hear you and deliver you. It may not be on your time table, but keep the hope, as long as you do that, you will move forward.0
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The adjustment period is tough. You can do it though. Keep pushing forward. I understand about the need to eat when not feeling the absolute best. I usually go workout when I see temptation start to rise to help with appetite control. Maybe this could. I'll add you to keep the motivation going. Always know there is something even better out, we just have to filter through thr trash first. :happy: 0
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I reckon the positive is the 5lbs she has lost.
That works for me.
The other things? Well, they suck, but platitudes aside, you are in the greatest city in the world, on a site with a whole heap of people motivated enough to get fitter, and we WILL do it together.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Darling, you have received much advice here today. Much of it good. But the most important thing is for you to look and see how many people reached out to you today to let you know that they care about you and how you feel. It may seem like it's not sincere since its likely that none to few of us even know you personally, but you let us know how you feel and that touched our hearts. Do you want to know why? Because we feel your pain, we've been there and we survived and want you to know that you are strong enough to do the same. We are all here to support you in your hour of need. So lean on us.0
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I know this sounds crazy..but can i tell you how much encouragement your post and all these replys have given me? The reason i joined this site, and recently joined the gym (yesterday) is because my husband of 18years, and i, also have just separated!
The one piece of advice, that i got from a friend is "KNOW YOUR WORTH"....YOU ARE WORTH MULTITUDES!!! and so am i
Thank you for your post....and thank you, everyone, for your responses---TODAY IS A NEW DAY--- WE CAN DO THIS!!!!0
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