Has it clicked in your head yet?

I am sure I'm not alone in this, dieting, losing weight, gaining, losing, and usually feeling like it will never come off for good. Trying this way of eating or that way, wondering if the diet was unsuccessful or my lack of effort was the problem. In the past all I cared about was losing the weight. No matter what it was I've tried it, and most likely damaging my body in so many ways. I hit my highest weight of 305, went on nutrisystem, lost 60 lbs, went off and fell off, went back up to 275, lost 35 from diet and exercise and then stress and life got the best of me and at the end of last year fell off again and went back up to 270. After feeling like a complete failure yet again, i reconnected with a friend from high school who happens to b a trainer now and he changed my life in more ways then he probably knows. For the first time I had help and learned how to ask for it. I held myself accountable to him and did as he told me to, but still struggled to believe that my accomplishments were enough. Who were they not enough for? ME. I have been dieting all my life and everytime i had success, somewhere in the back of my head was that thought that it will be short lived and i would never get to my goal. I would never have the life i want because i am not strong enough to conquer this. I went in everytime w the thought of failure and never realized what a huge problem this was. And then my trainer sat me down and told me the simplest concept but probably the hardest thing to do - learn to love yourself and realize you are worthy of a happy healthy life. And then it CLICKED. I am the one getting in my way. My fear of the unknown and being successful is getting in my way. It wasnt my lack of knowledge of dieting because at the point i was 40lbs down and feeling better then i ever have. I found a way of eating that i can do for a lifetime and so much knowledge on whats best for me. All along its never been the diet, or the exercise, it has always been my mind. I AM the one who sabotages myself, I AM the one who thinks i am not good enough. I AM the one constantly getting in my way.

As i keep going on this journey the mind has made progress. I know now i am worth this. I am worth being happy and being successful in the things that i want. I am the one that has the strength to know that even if something isnt good for me and i can still lose weight, i now choose not to eat it because i know it will keep where i have always been in the past. I now have a different relationship with food. It is something i look to for fuel and nutrition and not something as a pleasure. I have learned to cook healthy and nutritious and learned that healthy food is awesome and not a nightmare. Do i still struggle at times? Of course, i am but only a human. But they are becoming way fewer and far between and all those bad foods that were treats and comforts are now becoming a reminder of the unhappy girl i used to be. I dont need them in my life and they are not doing anything good for me. All these things take time to realize and the longer i am on this journey the more knowledge i will gain. All of this because it finally CLICKED. I have the strength and knowledge to do this the right way and to go the distance and get it done this time. I am finally starting to love myslf for who i am and all the amazingthings i have accomplished so far.

So i ask you all if your still with me, when did it click for you or if it hasnt, what do you see as your hurdle to climb to get there? Does your mind play a huge factor in your journey? I would love to hear others experiences when they finally stopped dieting and finally learned that this is for life, that this is the path that will finally bring you to happiness.

I love to hear from you all