Please... I really need someone's help...

Ginerrva
Ginerrva Posts: 226
in Motivation and Support
Okay, so, I used to be overweight, at least by 20 pounds. I began working out and eating healthier, so now I'm at a good weight and am on maintenance. I work out 35 minutes every day at morning, and eat at around 1500 calories- I do not limit myself, that's just what satisfies me. On the weekend I allow myself to snack on chocolates and stuff.

When I had been losing weight, my period had stopped, and I have yet to get it back. It's been 5-6 monthes now. Before you say it, I'm not under weight. 114 for 5'2". People say I look in really good shape. Except my mom, but we'll get to that,

My mom some how found out about my period. She was supportive of my diet until I actually succeeded in it, and of course she blames my lack of period on my diet. She looked it up, and now she wants me to limit my exercise to 3 days a week! That, and increase the amount I eat! I'm terrified. This will make my gain weight, I know it, just when I had finally succeeded and lost the right amount.

I look bad with extra weight- I still look bad now if I were to wear a bikini, but fully clothed I am comfortable. I had a large stomach, tiny hips, and tiny breasts(in comparison to stomach, at least). I don't want to go back to that. I still have belly fat, and I really want to see my abs one day. I am in no way naturally curvy, and I'd much rather be a stick (I don't mean skinny, I just mean no noticeable hips and boobs), than a circle with legs.

Please, what do I do? I suggested working out 5/7 days a week instead or 7/7 or 3/7, but she seems hell bent on this. I'd be fine with eating more if I worked out 5/7 days a week.

Please, I'm scared.
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Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I think the best bet would be to see a doctor. Rule out any medical issues, and work from there.

    At your young age and amount of exercise, you should be able to eat more than 1500 to maintain. But if you're eating at 1500 to maintain, what were you eating to lose? If you'd been eating much less than that, you might have done a little damage to your metabolism. It's not irreversible, though.
  • Kristan_Forsey
    Kristan_Forsey Posts: 103 Member
    You should talk to your doctor about the lack of period, how much you are eating, and how often you workout. I am assuming your Mom isn't a doctor, therefore she isn't qualified to diagnose and treat whatever is going on.
  • Ginerrva
    Ginerrva Posts: 226
    I already said that I wanted to see a doctor, but she'd ranting on about how we should try what she came up with first >.< I dunno what to do.
  • sbs8855
    sbs8855 Posts: 3 Member
    Go to a doctor.
  • Ginerrva
    Ginerrva Posts: 226
    Go to a doctor.
    I can't! I already suggested it. She said no, and my step dad is backing her on this ;'(
  • howeudoing
    howeudoing Posts: 4
    Definitely go and seek a medical opinion. They will put your mind at rest for sure and having a professional look into what is going on with your body should satisfy your Mum.

    I am no doctor but I have been told by many personal trainers that the rest days between exercise are just as important as the exercise days themselves. Your body cannot repair and rest itself enough to do the good it needs to when you go back in the gym if you over do it too often.

    Good luck and I hope that you find that all is ok with your period and things settle with some good medical advice.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Go do a doctor. This might have nothing to do with weight loss. I also think you might still be eating too few calories, even though you say you are in maintenance. 1500 sounds like it is probably way below your TDEE if you are working out every morning.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Go to a doctor.
    I can't! I already suggested it. She said no, and my step dad is backing her on this ;'(
    You are 18 years old, right? You don't need their permission.
  • TXGirl821
    TXGirl821 Posts: 115
    Go to a doctor.
    I can't! I already suggested it. She said no, and my step dad is backing her on this ;'(
    You are 18 years old, right? You don't need their permission.

    But she may need their money and/or insurance to go to the doctor.
  • radhell
    radhell Posts: 7
    If you are over 18 it isn't up to your mom, Not saying her opinions should be completely disregarded, but ultimately it is your decision how to proceed. And I assume you have ruled out the obvious question of pregnancy? They say it is a good idea to have at least one day to let your body have a break from exercise. You also sound very stressed, and I have heard that stress/major life changes can affect your period.
  • Glasgow_Vegan
    Glasgow_Vegan Posts: 209 Member
    "That, and increase the amount I eat! I'm terrified. This will make my gain weight, I know it, just when I had finally succeeded and lost the right amount."

    I'm mostly just concerned that you are "terrified" of possibly putting on weight. The fact that you wouldn't want to be seen in a bikini is also worrying. Your lack of periods could be PCOS, but I think it's probably worth seeing a nutritionist, even just as a one off.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    well, your profile says you are eighteen, and you live in a country that has socialized medicine... so call a doctor and go yourself.
  • lisitabonita
    lisitabonita Posts: 81 Member
    Even if she says no, you are 18, you should be able to get to a clinic? I don't know where you live, but most places have walk in clinics that are free or very little money. Missing a period at your age is a sign of something greater going on inside. For your future fertility, I urge you to go.
  • rudegyal_b
    rudegyal_b Posts: 593 Member
    sorry how is 1500 maintenance cals?? you should be eating at least 1830 with your stats, or more depending on your exercise
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Go to a doctor.
    I can't! I already suggested it. She said no, and my step dad is backing her on this ;'(
    You are 18 years old, right? You don't need their permission.

    But she may need their money and/or insurance to go to the doctor.
    Yay, American health care system!

    Looks like she's in Canada, so she can go.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
    Ignore your mum. I know that's easier said than done, but this is your life, not hers so you should see and doctor and do what is right for you. Your mother is not a medical professional and she is not the Lord and Master of your life either.
  • buzymamagoals
    buzymamagoals Posts: 44 Member
    I don't understand why you just don't take yourself to the doctor. You don't need parents permission to seek medical help.
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
    Go to your doctor.

    I lost my period too, but by using unhealthy weight loss methods (not good). Mine's still irregular but I get it more than I used to because I increased my calorie and fat intake. And cut down on the exercise, don't do it every day. You want to be able to give your body some time to repair its muscles.

    Lastly, being scared of weight gain isn't a healthy sign. Talk to your doctor about this as well. Increasing your intake won't make you gain fat if you eat at your TDEE.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    Like others have said you are 18 and you can go without her permission. Go see the doctor, take your diet plan with you so they can see it. You can also increase your caloires slowly by 50 calories a day for two weeks then up them again. See how that affects your weight. But please go see a doctor without your mother. She's just working on getting things her way. You are of age so just go do it, at some point you've got to grow up and do things your way for you and your parents have to learn to stop trying to control you as a grown up.
  • runrockclimb
    runrockclimb Posts: 124
    Chances are you are at to low a body fat percentage for your body type, its not your height or weight that matters its the body fat. If if there is not enough to support a pregnancy, your body stops having a period, regardless of whether you think you are at a good weight or not (and its sounds too me like you are on a little too restrictive of a maintenance diet, although I'm no expert). This isn't good for you in the long run.
    However there are lots of other serious issues that can prevent periods too, so your best bet is to go see a doctor now and see what they have to say about your weight and other issues. Then trust their medical opinion. Your mother is not a doctor, you are 18 and you need to make the best choices for your health, not the ones your mother thinks are best.
  • radhell
    radhell Posts: 7
    If she is already on their insurance she doesn't need their permission to use it. They could get mad and discontinue it, but once they have her listed as a dependant she only needs her insurance card. If under 18, in which case she would need parental consent, a school counselor might be another option, to find a healthy and peaceful way to solve things
  • stagknight
    stagknight Posts: 130 Member
    If you are truly 18 go to the doctor and have a chat, your family can not stop you. Even if you go to a free clinic. If you are not in truth 18 then you will have to obey the wishes of your mother.
  • danne32339
    danne32339 Posts: 155 Member
    I think the best bet would be to see a doctor. Rule out any medical issues, and work from there.

    At your young age and amount of exercise, you should be able to eat more than 1500 to maintain. But if you're eating at 1500 to maintain, what were you eating to lose? If you'd been eating much less than that, you might have done a little damage to your metabolism. It's not irreversible, though.

    Great advice. Hang in there and good luck. Feel free to add me to you friend list.
    Take care,
    Doni
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
    Go to a doctor.
    I can't! I already suggested it. She said no, and my step dad is backing her on this ;'(
    You are 18 years old, right? You don't need their permission.

    Yep, go find a low-cost/free clinic or something. Could be anything - you could have a cyst on your ovary messing with your cycle, doesn't sound like you are too thin for your height - so even if your parents say NO, you NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR ANYWAY.

    Unfortunately, no one here is going to be able to help you. :(
  • Ginerrva
    Ginerrva Posts: 226
    Perhaps I will go to the doctor, but... Well, I really don't want to ruin the relationship between my mother and I. Are here other things I can do before hand, just to see? I mean, I feel perfectly fine.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Why do you need their permission to see a doctor? Make an appointment and go. You don't have to be 18 to go to the doctor by yourself in Canada.

    How old are you?
  • np11073
    np11073 Posts: 30
    It is not uncommon for women who have intense workout regimens to develop irregularities in their menstrual cycles. As long as you have been manintaining a healthy diet it isn't likely that nutrition is the issue. I would concur that you should consult your primary care provider. Your hormones are most likely in imbalance. You made no mention if you were on birth control.
  • calitravelingal
    calitravelingal Posts: 53
    I agree with everyone else you should go to the dr. I know it's hard to disobey your parents but at 18 if you don't start sticking up for yourself, especially when it come to matters of your body and your health well then.... Call your dr office and ask to speak with a nurse. Tell the nurse whats going on with your parents and their objections and see if she can set u up something low profile. Also I don't know if you're a student, but many schools, both high school and colleges have a least a school nurse and sometimes a school nutricionist you can speak too. All in all it's your body so you should be the one to take care of if. I also agree with others that you may not be eating enough. No one is saying jump from 1500 to 2000 a day just add a little here and a little there.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Perhaps I will go to the doctor, but... Well, I really don't want to ruin the relationship between my mother and I. Are here other things I can do before hand, just to see? I mean, I feel perfectly fine.

    If you aren't menstruating, something is wrong.
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
    I played sports competitively. High levels of exercise can totally muck up the monthly visit. LOL
    Fixing it takes some combo of three things - exercise, nutrition, and hormones. (Hello birth control pill.) Your mom is only half right - she understands you probably need more cals and a little less exercise, but she missed it on the no doctor thing. You need to see a doctor.

    And, you aren't letting the team down if you take it down a notch. If you let this go, it could cause brittle bones, hair loss, and a bunch of other not so happy things like infertility. You are a girl. Got to do the girl thing each month. x shrugs shoulders x It is what it is. Got to find your balance - Don't put it off.

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