Please... I really need someone's help...

2»

Replies

  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
    Perhaps I will go to the doctor, but... Well, I really don't want to ruin the relationship between my mother and I. Are here other things I can do before hand, just to see? I mean, I feel perfectly fine.

    Better to be safe than sorry. Just to the doctor, no harm in that. Good luck!
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    A bit of an obvious question, but is there any chance you could be pregnant?
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    Losing your period may not be weight related at all, it could be all sorts of other things, including just a random blip - I didn't have regular periods till I was in my early 20s! But you need to get checked out to rule out possible medical problems. I think you have to be grown up - I KNOW it's hard - and say calmly that you appreciate their concerns and because of them you are going to get proper medical advice as soon as you can. Meanwhile you believe you are doing the right things to take care of yourself and you're going to carry on doing it until you've got a medical opinion. Try not engage in high emotion arguments, stay strong - if necessary says that you don't want to be nagged about this, it stresses you and will only make things worse. There's an assertiveness technique called broken record, which consists of politely restating your position - most people back off when faced with it. Good luck
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Yeah I would call a doctor if you're not getting your period, that's not good.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Perhaps I will go to the doctor, but... Well, I really don't want to ruin the relationship between my mother and I. Are here other things I can do before hand, just to see? I mean, I feel perfectly fine.
    So, the doctor may tell you exactly what your mother is saying - you aren't eating enough and working out too much - in which case, you should really think about how you are abusing your body to the point of disrupting your menstrual cycle. It will help your relationship if you then agree with your mother.

    If there is something else that is truly wrong, I'm sure your mother will be more concerned about your health than that you went to a doctor behind her back.
  • NyimaR
    NyimaR Posts: 108 Member
    I'm just in shock that you clearly have a medical problem and your mother is trying to stop you seeking medical help! Even if you are under 18, most medical professionals should see you without a parent

    "No, a doctor or health care provider can’t talk with the parents or guardian about a capable child’s medical care, unless the child agrees" From the Canadian Bar Association.
  • RobinH0416
    RobinH0416 Posts: 4
    The health department will likely see you for minimal cost-sliding scale. Or a faith based clinic in your community. One of our hospitals has a low cost clinic too. Call 211 for United Way to find locations near you that might see you for this.
  • shelbz2684
    shelbz2684 Posts: 24
    Like everyone else suggested go seek a DR. I'd be really concerned about that. There could be something unhealthy going on in your body and it's probably something that may be taken care of right away. Like everyone else said if you 18, you're an adult, you don't need permission from parents. If you go on your own, and they do find something out, then tell your mom maybe she'll have a better understanding, hopefully. But seriously, go to the dr right away and get checked out.
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
    Okay, so, I used to be overweight, at least by 20 pounds. I began working out and eating healthier, so now I'm at a good weight and am on maintenance. I work out 35 minutes every day at morning, and eat at around 1500 calories- I do not limit myself, that's just what satisfies me. On the weekend I allow myself to snack on chocolates and stuff.

    When I had been losing weight, my period had stopped, and I have yet to get it back. It's been 5-6 monthes now. Before you say it, I'm not under weight. 114 for 5'2". People say I look in really good shape. Except my mom, but we'll get to that,

    My mom some how found out about my period. She was supportive of my diet until I actually succeeded in it, and of course she blames my lack of period on my diet. She looked it up, and now she wants me to limit my exercise to 3 days a week! That, and increase the amount I eat! I'm terrified. This will make my gain weight, I know it, just when I had finally succeeded and lost the right amount.

    I look bad with extra weight- I still look bad now if I were to wear a bikini, but fully clothed I am comfortable. I had a large stomach, tiny hips, and tiny breasts(in comparison to stomach, at least). I don't want to go back to that. I still have belly fat, and I really want to see my abs one day. I am in no way naturally curvy, and I'd much rather be a stick (I don't mean skinny, I just mean no noticeable hips and boobs), than a circle with legs.

    Please, what do I do? I suggested working out 5/7 days a week instead or 7/7 or 3/7, but she seems hell bent on this. I'd be fine with eating more if I worked out 5/7 days a week.

    Please, I'm scared.

    Doctor!

    It's not uncommon for periods not to settle after weight loss. Mine have been all over the place and then I got the rod and well- they're not seen that often (yay!).

    Seriously, see your doctor and get a tracking system for them (most phones now support a great app called 'My Days') so that you can work out that maybe instead of the typical 28 day cycle (which on a small population of women have) you may have a longer cycle (along the lines of 35-40 days which i used to have before I started loosing weight).
  • RuthSweetTooth
    RuthSweetTooth Posts: 461 Member
    You could be a tad malnourished, but we can't tell with a closed diary. Start taking a multivitamin with iron. Exercising 5 days a week out of 7 is recommended for good health, and 35 minutes is fine. Can you open your diary? Are you doing only cardio, or are you doing weight lighting with free weights or something for tone? Increase your calories by 100-200 a day.

    Try this link to find out how many calories to eat to maintain your weight.

    http://www.caloriecontrol.org/healthy-weight-tool-kit/weight-maintenance-calculator-women
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    Perhaps I will go to the doctor, but... Well, I really don't want to ruin the relationship between my mother and I.

    Isn't your mother already ruining it, by trying to prevent her daughter getting medical help? That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    Yeah, I'd see my doc...hopefully they'll actually help. Another thing that is possible is that you have hit your plateau. Where your body is fighting you to drop more pounds...I would begin other forms of exercise. Perhaps something new...perhaps a step class, some kickboxing or whatever you can think of that's new and you haven't relied on in the past. And something new might be more interesting and even fun for you. Just do something your body isn't used to doing......
    Samantha
  • mnlght535
    mnlght535 Posts: 84
    According to your profile, you live in Canada and you're 18. Go to your doctor and/or a nutritionist. It should not cost you anything and regardless of whether you are 18 or not you can go to the doctor on your own. That aside, it is best to get medical advice from a professional. If you feel you don't want to exclude your mom, make an appointment and let your mom know that you have made an appointment and she is free to come with you if she wants and you want her to come. I agree with the other posters who feel your 1500 maintenance calories are too low especially on work out days but I am not the professional so go see your doctor :)
  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
    Please contact planned parenthood ASAP! It's free and they can help you. Parents are not needed nor will they be told anything about it. Let them know it's an emergency.
  • jd4life
    jd4life Posts: 1
    you should look up poly cystic ovary syndrome it is what runs in my family and one of the things that can happen is that you stop having a period around your age you would have to have a few test done to rule it and they would give you medicine or a certain type of birth control pills to have your period come back on look it up first then if you think this is something you may have talk to your mother about it and then go to the both my daughters have it and they are both virgins and are at their correct weight for their height
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    If you do have a medical problem hampering your cycle, you could be making it worse by waiting. If your mom wants to know if you're not eating enough, it seems logical to me to get you checked out by a doctor. You started taking responsibility for your health by losing extra weight. Now it's time to take responsibility again and get some tests done. The doctor will probably recent you to an ob/gyn to figure this out. Are you sexually active or take birth control pills? If you aren't pregnant but are in pills, you may just be experiencing some side effects from them. Rule out both at the doctor's.

    You can make an appointment, find a walk in clinic, or if you are that intimidated by your parents, go to an emergency room and ask for help there.
  • ladybug71399
    ladybug71399 Posts: 5 Member
    1500 hundred calories is really quite low and I have seen where everyone is suggesting you see a doctor which is probably the absolute best way to go. My cycle is regulating because I am excercising and my doctor said that as I lose weight this could happen. However I have also read that malnutrition can also be a cause of not getting your cycle (I am not saying that you are not eating however it may be WHAT you are eating). Even if your mom is set against you going to the doctor it is always recommended that you consult one before changing or adding an exercise routine. I have a medical condition which causes me to be irregular but with diet and exercise it is reversible. You cannot go without a cycle or you put yourself at risk for cancer and other problems. I just learned this from my GYN a couple of months ago. If your mom won't take you find another relative or even a friend who will go with you. If you are over 18 you are allowed. However you should find out what is wrong now before it becomes something more serious.
  • lcn1220
    lcn1220 Posts: 124 Member
    Perhaps I will go to the doctor, but... Well, I really don't want to ruin the relationship between my mother and I. Are here other things I can do before hand, just to see? I mean, I feel perfectly fine.

    Sorry, but not menstruating is not "fine." Go to a low cost women's clinic if your parents won't take you. Also, just to throw this out there but low bodyfat percentages can put the brakes on your menstrual cycle. Your mom might be correct about you if you're exercising a lot and not eating enough to cover the amount of cals you burn. Only part I disagree is the bit about not letting you see a doctor. Go get that problem checked out. Lastly, a healthy relationship between people can withstand a difference of opinion--not doing everything possible to please the other party at the cost of one's health and well being. Learn to respectfully stand up for yourself and your mom really has to let you "grow up." Good luck!
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    First, see a doctor. Second, get a body composition test. Either hydrostatic (around $30) or DXA (I found a place for $85). The DXA is a medical procedure that might be covered under health care.

    The body composition will tell you what your body fat is. You feel you are fat (most girls do even when they are not) and this will tell you if you are or not. There are other reasons for your cycle to change that have nothing to do with body fat --> This is the reason to see a doctor. It could be something far more serious.

    Just to get an idea and I am much older than you (I'm 51), I'm 5'1" and my LBM is 104.5 lbs. That means my BMR is only 1396. Even on my long workout days if I ate 1500 calories every day I would gain fat.

    Only you and your doctor can determine the amount of calories you need, but for the most part people will tell you to eat more than you actually need. Always listen to your own body and learn to hear what it needs regardless of all the advice you will get. I had to ignore everyone in order to lose my 60 lbs, I built muscle and felt great while everyone told me I eat too little. The proof is in the pudding.

    You are young and it takes years to build muscle, but I think more weight training would help your shape, make you healthier, and you would gain lean body mass and make your muscles stronger.

    I have been a weight lifter and runner for over 30 years. I still love running and its an important part of my routine but I put weight training first.

    My honest and true opinion is that the Venus Index Workout is the best weight training program I have ever done. It's put me in the best shape of my life as well as many other women.

    If you want to see what it has done for other women check this out -->http://www.venusindex.com/transformation-contest/

    I get no benefit if you purchase the workout on that website, but I am further down in the examples if you scroll down. I'm the 50 year old in the bright pink bikini.

    Because of my years of weight training my recent DXA scan shows my bones to be that of a super athletic 30 year old. That is proof that you can ward off osteoporosis and improve your health later down the line by starting NOW. If you START when you are older it will be kind of too late.
  • runrockclimb
    runrockclimb Posts: 124
    First, see a doctor. Second, get a body composition test. Either hydrostatic (around $30) or DXA (I found a place for $85). The DXA is a medical procedure that might be covered under health care.

    The body composition will tell you what your body fat is. You feel you are fat (most girls do even when they are not) and this will tell you if you are or not. There are other reasons for your cycle to change that have nothing to do with body fat --> This is the reason to see a doctor. It could be something far more serious.

    Just to get an idea and I am much older than you (I'm 51), I'm 5'1" and my LBM is 104.5 lbs. That means my BMR is only 1396. Even on my long workout days if I ate 1500 calories every day I would gain fat.

    Only you and your doctor can determine the amount of calories you need, but for the most part people will tell you to eat more than you actually need. Always listen to your own body and learn to hear what it needs regardless of all the advice you will get. I had to ignore everyone in order to lose my 60 lbs, I built muscle and felt great while everyone told me I eat too little. The proof is in the pudding.

    You are young and it takes years to build muscle, but I think more weight training would help your shape, make you healthier, and you would gain lean body mass and make your muscles stronger.

    I have been a weight lifter and runner for over 30 years. I still love running and its an important part of my routine but I put weight training first.

    My honest and true opinion is that the Venus Index Workout is the best weight training program I have ever done. It's put me in the best shape of my life as well as many other women.

    If you want to see what it has done for other women check this out -->http://www.venusindex.com/transformation-contest/

    I get no benefit if you purchase the workout on that website, but I am further down in the examples if you scroll down. I'm the 50 year old in the bright pink bikini.

    Because of my years of weight training my recent DXA scan shows my bones to be that of a super athletic 30 year old. That is proof that you can ward off osteoporosis and improve your health later down the line by starting NOW. If you START when you are older it will be kind of too late.
    Question, just how much time do you spend in the gym?

Categories