Overweight and feel awkward at the gym?

Does anybody else have this problem?! I am starting a weights for women class at my school's rec center tomorrow, and while I am excited about getting back into working out and learning how to use weights the right way, I'm nervous about it. I feel like I will stick out like a sore thumb among all the skinny sorority girls that seem to spend all their time in the gym. Anybody else ever deal with this and/or have some ways that you learn to deal with it? I do not want to let this discourage me from going to the gym.
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Replies

  • shardown
    shardown Posts: 258 Member
    Don't worry about them and focus on you. You're there to make a better you. And to be honest, chances are they probably won't be paying any attention to you either because they'll be too busy focusing on themselves.
  • chinatbag
    chinatbag Posts: 249 Member
    Don't even worry. Everyone at the gym is there for one thing really: self improvement. There are plenty of people you don't see who go in there at times you aren't there who probably feel the same way, but the general rule of good gym habits is: you check your ego at the door. Do you work out, make friends if you want to, keep your eye on the prize :)
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    I get like that too. :( I'd love to hear with people say.
  • rscpnc
    rscpnc Posts: 17 Member
    Hey


    I know exactly how you feel. I hate going to the gym, living in LA doesn't make it better either, the gym tends to be filled with very fit and skinny people. I just went tonight for the first time in like 7 years and it was hard to walk through that door and get on the machine and I am sure tomorrow will be hard too but I know its all in my head. I am almost 100% sure that no one cares or even pays attention to me and if they happen to look at me I am sure they are not thinking 'what is that monster beast doing here' as I like to play out in my head. All I have to keep telling myself is that its all in my head and really who cares...its a gym and its where we are suppose to be.
  • ParaSempreAmor11
    ParaSempreAmor11 Posts: 105 Member
    i use to feel awkward until i told myslef
    " its a gym its going to have people of all shapes and sizes not all skinny or buff people "
    ever since then im like ya whatever and just work out if they stare GIVE them something to stare at aha
  • syrhius
    syrhius Posts: 5 Member
    I found that having someone else there with me who I was comfortable with really helped, so perhaps you could find a friend to take the class with you? Good luck, it sounds fun!
  • thinnerclaire77
    thinnerclaire77 Posts: 13 Member
    Don't even worry. Everyone at the gym is there for one thing really: self improvement. There are plenty of people you don't see who go in there at times you aren't there who probably feel the same way, but the general rule of good gym habits is: you check your ego at the door. Do you work out, make friends if you want to, keep your eye on the prize :)

    I fully agree with this statement, I joined my local gym back in January after coming off the cambridge diet, thinking that exercise and healthy eating were going to be my way forward, between the end of January and the 8th August I had put on 14kg, mainly down to my diet, this in itself made things harder in the gym so really made me want to give up. Then as if like switching on a light I seem to have sorted my head out and now, I go at least three times a week, and I have already lost 6.2kg (just under 14lb) I do also have a fabulous PT, who really motivates me, If I can help to motivate anyone, feel free to add me, look at my profile pic that was taken on 12th July, Im by no means slim. Keep focused you'll get there
  • Love what Pu_239 said.

    At the end of the day, no-one will judge. Everyone is there for their own needs, not to look at other people. If I see an overweight person at the gym, I admire the fact that they are taking the step to get fitter. I love the gym and I always urge my friends to come with me but they wouldn't because they are too embarrassed. I hope I can convince them to come with me one day.
  • loztandfound
    loztandfound Posts: 73 Member
    I always felt the same, i am pretty short, so for my weight and height, I just looked like a beachball. I spoke to my boss about it, she is super sporty and fit, top of the regional running table for her age. She said yes it is noticeable when someone larger goes in to the gym, just as it is when a complete stick insect goes in, as it is when someone super tanned goes in, or a guy in a class aimed at girls, or vice versa. However then she said all of the girls in the class or in the gym room have discussed it and said they always smile at the person, offer to spot for them, stand next to them in a class so they can see the moves, and offer to pair up with them for moves. My boss herself said she really respects the bigger ladies who go to the gym, as she used to be one and knows how hard it is, said she really has a lot of respect for anyone who sticks with it.

    So i say go, enjoy, own up to the reasons you are there, and be honest with the fact that you are not confident with the weights and want to go over form. People will help a lot more than you think :)

    GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY!! xx
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
    Don't even worry. Everyone at the gym is there for one thing really: self improvement. There are plenty of people you don't see who go in there at times you aren't there who probably feel the same way, but the general rule of good gym habits is: you check your ego at the door. Do you work out, make friends if you want to, keep your eye on the prize :)
    ^^^^this. I go to the gym to lift....I don't care in the least what anyone there is doing. I don't even notice them to be honest. Just like they probably don't notice me.
  • davidlaplante
    davidlaplante Posts: 9 Member
    It's easy to say "don't feel awkward" but that covers up the reality of why you posted. So dig deep into understanding why you feel that way and look for ways to reframe that assumption. Know that 99% of the people who go to the gym have some significant insecurity that drives them there and keeps them coming back.

    Mind + body + spirit. If you go to the gym just for body it can get tough. Take that time to work on your mind and spirit as well. Listen to great music, podcasts, and audiobooks.

    You know what's missing from the gym? People smiling. A big smile will freak out all those grumpy hardbodies. And the rest of us are more apt judge you on how big of a smile you have - not what you look like. Much easier to work your way to be skinny and happy when you start "fat and happy".

    Honestly - all the people you're freaked out about are so self-absorbed checking their triceps out in the mirror they won't notice anything but their own reflection. So throw a big smile to everyone else that's feeling just like you and looking for a little encouragement from a smile.
  • lynz4589
    lynz4589 Posts: 389 Member
    This is the thing about gyms that annoy me! They are really designed to help people get fit but they should appeal to those wanting to lose weight instead they have become a "cool" place to just hang out, and certainly at my gym 70% of the girls that go only do it as a token gesture so they can say they are a member of a gym, Ive never seen any of them exactly try hard or even break a sweat. Just do what I do and remember the reasons your there, you have in some respects more right to be there, the gym isnt a trophy to you its a chance to save your life!
  • spozzybear
    spozzybear Posts: 216 Member
    I just joined the gym last week and while I thought I would feel self-concious, I actually don't. Instead I focus on why I am there in the first place. Yes, I am often the most overweight person in there, but really, who cares? The only opinions that matter to me are of those who I know and love. I don't know any of these people in gym, so even if they were judging me, it's no skin off my nose! I just get on with my work-out!
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    I think the thing with overweight people is more often than not they see things about themselves negatively.

    How do you know these 'skinny sorority girls' don't actually think 'good on her' when they see an overweight person go to the gym?

    How do you know some of these women weren't in your shoes a year ago?

    Either way, you shouldn't let what anyone else thinks interfere with your weight loss. You are doing it for you, no-one else. And to be honest, more often than not, they are too busy doing their own thing to pay any attention to anyone else.
  • Oh, I hear ya. I used to feel so awkward at the gym thinking everyone was laughing at me because I'm overweight and it's SO obvious I don't know what I'm doing. Every time I moved on to another machine I felt eyes staring at me and judging if I'm not lifting enough, or too much, or I have bad form, etc etc. And I didn't have the right clothes, and my pants kept falling slightly revealing bright pink panties! I wanted to be anywhere but the gym.

    You know what helps? Smile. Whenever you make eye contact, just smile. You don't know what the other person is thinking, and most of the time, they're not thinking what you think they're thinking. I realized that what I think they're thinking says more about ME than it does about them. I agree with all the posters who said the same thing above.

    After that, the gym became a friendlier place (in my head) which made all the difference. :)
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    i figure, ppl can laugh at me now while I'm at the gym/ out "running"
    But in a few months, I can strut around EVERYWHERE and I'll be one of the fitt ones.

    But most people who see you will be thinking one of
    "yep thats what I used to look like "
    or " well shes doing better than anyone sitting on the couch"
    /"well done for being here"
  • Tank_Girl
    Tank_Girl Posts: 372 Member
    I feel like this every time I go kickboxing, esp since theres 1 arrogant individual who has always been skinny and cant understand how anyone could let themselves get "fat" I know that within a year I will box that silly little girls head off in the ring...

    Im tougher and more determined than she will ever be, theres more fight in my chubby little pinky finger than there is in her whole body
    :mad:
  • 2essie
    2essie Posts: 2,847 Member
    I joined the gym last year and thought the same. It took me a while to even go. When I eventually got there I was very suprised to see all shapes and sizes in there. I picked a quiet time (I had asked previously) and just went in, head held high.

    I am 61 years old and 4 stone overweight. I now find that all the young fit guys are coming to help me with anything I can't do. Why didn't that happen when I was 20 years old. Anyway, go for it. Hold your head high, smile, crack a joke or too and it won't be long before you are attracting all those fit guys. Most people like confidence more than body shape and some of the guys like girls with a bit of shape too. Forget the ones who are there only to preen themselves be they male or female. Have fun.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    It will depend on the gym you go to.

    However, I'd be willing to bet that in reality less will judge when you're there - I'm afraid in the "real world" people will be doing it all the time.
    Then you'll lose some weight and be judged as "too thin" by a different set of people.

    The trick is to not worry about what other people think unless you actually value their opinions :).
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
    Well, I've never been a sorority girl, but I've been (mostly) slender for most of my life. I just recently joined the YMCA because the pounds have started to pack on and I wanted to learn how to use the weight machines and also start running. (I've never been able to run a mile, or even a half mile).

    That said, just yesterday while on the elliptical machine I saw 2 girls, both in their late 20's with almost the same outfits on. I don't think they knew each other. One girl was the typical super-slender, in-shape fitness person who automatically makes you feel insecure and the other weighed..., well, a lot more than the first girl did. BOTH were running on the treadmills and doing a damn better job for longer than I could have Maybe that second, heavier girl wasn't feeling self-conscious at all (and she shouldn't of course) but I still wanted to tell her "Hey, you're doing every bit as well as that other chick! And guess what--I may be slender, which may be enviable to you but there's no way I could do what you're doing right now--and I wish I could. I really admire that." :smile:

    Just being skinny or slender doesn't mean that a person is fit--us slender-looking girls are sometimes just as insecure in the gym as anyone else. That's awesome you're starting a 'weights for women' class--that's the first stop to feeling more confident! :smile:
  • When I see an overweight person in the gym, my thought is "good for you". You are trying to get healthier. I have mad respect for people like that.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Feeling awkward in new places is not really a bad thing. It means you are aware that you are the "new" person and want to fit in for a goal… much like a new job, or finding the right house of worship, or going to any new activity that involves people. It's a bit like stage fright - not such a bad thing if you realize it is just that you want to do well.

    The good thing about joining a gym is that you are joining for the right reason. People are drawn to and would rather be around sincere people and people who are there for the right reason. If you enjoy working out in the gym, and keep going - sometimes if you just say something nice to the people at the gym, the person checking you in, the towel person, the trainer, and make that your first goal, (Thank you is a scarce saying these days unfortunately) you will be amazed how the atmosphere is more conducive to encouragement to come back.

    That being said, I am exactly the same way about dance/yoga/classes. I do a lot of walking/running and home exercises like Wii Fit and My Barre 3. It is one of my goals to overcome in 2013 and find the right studio!
  • jen_bd6
    jen_bd6 Posts: 501 Member
    I am overweight and used to feel the same way. I just started ignoring what I "thought" people might think... chances are, they aren't thinking any bad thoughts anyways. When I see someone who is overweight at the gym, part of me wants to go over and give them a high five for being brave enough to make the right decision to be there in the first place. I say good for you... go and enjoy your class and before you know it, you will feel completely comfortable there! Best of luck to you!! :)
  • Brandification
    Brandification Posts: 109 Member
    I started going to the gym at well over 300 lbs and felt awkward every time I set foot in the place. After a while, I finally realized that gyms are for people like me that need to be in there getting healthy! Don't worry about everyone else and what they think. You're doing this for you, to better your life.
    Best of luck! :)
  • I think that once you get to the gym, you'd be surprised to see what the demographics are of the people that go there. Everyone at the gym is really there for the same reasons you are - physical fitness. I am by no means a ripped bodybuilder - I'm an average Joe with a gut who is trying to lose that gut. I focus on why *I* am at the gym rather than why other people are at the gym. Most of them are just "regular folks" trying to get or stay fit. You'll be fine. If anything, you should be respected for actively trying to do something to improve yourself.

    It's not like the tools of the world who would be saying things about you and your physique are attending some class on how not to be a tool so they don't really have anything to say about your fitness goals.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    I think the thing with overweight people is more often than not they see things about themselves negatively.

    How do you know these 'skinny sorority girls' don't actually think 'good on her' when they see an overweight person go to the gym?

    How do you know some of these women weren't in your shoes a year ago?

    Either way, you shouldn't let what anyone else thinks interfere with your weight loss. You are doing it for you, no-one else. And to be honest, more often than not, they are too busy doing their own thing to pay any attention to anyone else.

    This WAS me, I was the chunky one in the back of the class trying to hide in aerobics,struggling at spin, and wishing I could be as good and as fit as those girls at the front.

    A year later, it was me at the front, and I always make an effort to talk to people who look uncomfortable. Granted, I don't do many classes anymore (I've fallen in love with lifting) but I'm friendly towards the people in my gym.

    There is always going to be SOMETHING to be self conscious about...most recently was setting up my now regular camp in the free weight area and starting with an empty bar.....13 weeks later and a raw increase of 55kg on my squats, I could'nt give a ****. The blokes I felt were staring at me are friends, and I's almost squatting 1 and a half times my body weight.

    The only workout you'll regret, is the one you don't do.
    x
  • I go to the gym to grow not to show.

    I dont notice others, i have a good physique in my opinion but even in summer i wear a hoodie and beanie with headphones on, i dont talk or socialise with others, im there to train.

    Find your zone, settle in it, if anyone steps into it drop em like a 200lb dumbbell.

    Peace
  • Lina4Lina
    Lina4Lina Posts: 712 Member
    I've gone to the gym at my heaviest size and you know, I don't care what others think. The other day I was doing Zumba and I glanced at myself in the mirror and I though that I looked so huge compared to everyone else but at my current weight, exercise and diet are the only things that will fix that. Anyway, I was in a funk for a couple days just from one glance in a mirror. I didn't let it stop me from going to the gym. For the past 22 days since ive joined my gym, I've gone to the gym everyday and I plan to keep going.
  • Tina180130
    Tina180130 Posts: 127 Member
    I would recommend concentrating on YOU. Forget the others around you, concentrate on getting the best out of your workout. The biggest hurdle of getting fit is getting to the mindset that you need to change things. You are halfway there; don't put it off any longer :)) Enjoy your fitness journey.
  • spongebex
    spongebex Posts: 194 Member
    they'll be too busy focusing on themselves.

    This xxx