"You have lost SO much weight"....

Options
2

Replies

  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,427 Member
    Options
    People suck

    My mother introduces me to people "This is my daughter. A year ago, she weighed 300 pounds" - and not just people she knows, but even to people she's just met and will never see again

    WOW!!! Do you remind mom that you have a name? Your weight loss is incredible and you should be commended over and over again...but it doesn't define you!!!

    Great job btw!!!
  • Mrs_Winfrey
    Mrs_Winfrey Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    I am trying not too, and you are right...the last time I saw her I had on a maxi dress and on Sunday I wore shorts (which were slightly too big since I have lost), so that very well could be it. Just wish she could have complimented, then moved on. Why go SO overboard with it......?

    Yea, that must totally suck to have someone compliment you on your progress many times over. Man, people are so rude.

    It does suck and it always hurts my feelings.

    I feel the same way. When she went over board, it made me feel almost bad about myself (which I thought was a backwards feeling).
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    Options
    A co-worker I've known for close to 20 years came up to me at the opening meeting for the school year and whispered in my ear...

    "You look great! Have you been ill?"

    I was so stunned, I was speechless for a moment. She went on to say 'You've lost so much weight! Was it on purpose?' I very politely told her that I had lost the weight on purpose and had worked hard to do so.

    The odd thing is that I've seen this woman several times a week, every week for the entire time I was actively losing weight. Even odder, I've been at maintenance since March and really haven't lost anything significant for close to six months.

    And WTH is up with 'You look great! Have you been ill?' :grumble: :noway:
  • sicilysclover
    sicilysclover Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    I am trying not too, and you are right...the last time I saw her I had on a maxi dress and on Sunday I wore shorts (which were slightly too big since I have lost), so that very well could be it. Just wish she could have complimented, then moved on. Why go SO overboard with it......?

    Yea, that must totally suck to have someone compliment you on your progress many times over. Man, people are so rude.

    ^ I'm with you here I dont see the problem at ALL. Your MIL complimented you! Repeatedly! Take it and be thankful you have a MIL who compliments LOL
  • BrookeNWille
    BrookeNWille Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    I completely understand your discomfort with the over-commenting. Just because someone is telling you you've lost weight, it's not an inherently positive comment. To a sensitive person it could be a disguised comment as to what you looked like a week ago. I don't think that making hyperbolic comment about someone's weightloss is ever a positive thing. It can boost someone's confidence, but also has the power to make others feel self-conscious- enter eating disorders!

    To the sarcastic comments above: It COULD be considered rude to harp on someone's weight loss repeatedly (especially when it's to a non-overweight person to begin with.)

    It's more tactful and polite to tell someone how lovely or healthy they look without being overbearing. It's also good you're expressing your feelings about this! Body transformation can be quite an emotional experience :)
  • PaleoRDH
    PaleoRDH Posts: 266
    Options
    whatever outfit you had on Sunday........... wear it every day! :love:
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Options
    This is such a tough subject. I am also uncomfortable with over-commenting. I think most people just want you to know that they've noticed your efforts and think you look fantastic.

    I run into people I haven't seen in a long time and their initial reaction to my "reduced" body size is usually loud and immediate. I suppose it is a bit shocking if you haven't seen me in a while. Usually it is accompanied with, "you are soooo skinny" and "don't lose anymore, now." I usually blush or get uncomfortable!

    I don't know what your relationship with your MIL is like normally, but perhaps she was just trying to express in an interest in something YOU had taken an interest in - your health and fitness. :)
  • rachelmorgan77
    rachelmorgan77 Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    Sometimes it is that last few pounds that really are noticeable. My husband lost 100 pounds - but my dad (granted, he's not the most observant man) didn't comment on it until he lost the last 20 pounds. It was weird - like the last 20 revealed a totally different body that had been stuck in this shell.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Options
    She complimented you. Maybe you weren't crazy about the delivery, but nothing she said was rude or condescending.

    Take the compliment. Enjoy it. Be happy someone noticed!
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Options
    People suck

    My mother introduces me to people "This is my daughter. A year ago, she weighed 300 pounds" - and not just people she knows, but even to people she's just met and will never see again

    ROFL - oh my goodness! She sound really proud of your accomplishment. But man do I know what you mean... she wouldn't announce if you used to have acne as a teenager or if you had a third nipple. :)
  • tryinghard71
    tryinghard71 Posts: 593
    Options
    What is a Mil?
  • Mrs_Winfrey
    Mrs_Winfrey Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    A co-worker I've known for close to 20 years came up to me at the opening meeting for the school year and whispered in my ear...

    "You look great! Have you been ill?"

    I was so stunned, I was speechless for a moment. She went on to say 'You've lost so much weight! Was it on purpose?' I very politely told her that I had lost the weight on purpose and had worked hard to do so.

    The odd thing is that I've seen this woman several times a week, every week for the entire time I was actively losing weight. Even odder, I've been at maintenance since March and really haven't lost anything significant for close to six months.

    And WTH is up with 'You look great! Have you been ill?' :grumble: :noway:

    Really...what the heck does that even mean?? lol Well congratulations on your success!!!
  • Mrs_Winfrey
    Mrs_Winfrey Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    What is a Mil?

    Mother In Law. :)
  • HopefulLeigh
    HopefulLeigh Posts: 363 Member
    Options
    Out of curiosity, have you been discussing your weight loss with you husband? Have you maybe mentioned not seeing progress or being unhappy with the rate of progress? Maybe he said something to his mom and she was trying to make you feel really good about yourself?
  • MizCJ84
    MizCJ84 Posts: 335 Member
    Options
    Definitely agree with some of the other posts. I think maybe it had something to do with what you were wearing last week compared to this week. I look so much smaller in some clothes than others. I wouldn't take offense to it - At least she was complimenting you instead of criticizing you.
  • Mrs_Winfrey
    Mrs_Winfrey Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Out of curiosity, have you been discussing your weight loss with you husband? Have you maybe mentioned not seeing progress or being unhappy with the rate of progress? Maybe he said something to his mom and she was trying to make you feel really good about yourself?

    Yes I have, actually we are doing this together. I have spoken to my MIL in passing over the past several weeks about my eating habits and about us exercising...so she does know that we are actively trying to make improvements. I don't believe he said anything, I try not to down myself or my progress in front of him anyway.
  • Mrs_Winfrey
    Mrs_Winfrey Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    whatever outfit you had on Sunday........... wear it every day! :love:

    hahaha I just might...but I am hoping since they are already loose, soon I won't be able to wear them at all!!
  • sassi5
    sassi5 Posts: 49
    Options
    A co-worker I've known for close to 20 years came up to me at the opening meeting for the school year and whispered in my ear...

    "You look great! Have you been ill?"

    I was so stunned, I was speechless for a moment. She went on to say 'You've lost so much weight! Was it on purpose?' I very politely told her that I had lost the weight on purpose and had worked hard to do so.

    The odd thing is that I've seen this woman several times a week, every week for the entire time I was actively losing weight. Even odder, I've been at maintenance since March and really haven't lost anything significant for close to six months.

    And WTH is up with 'You look great! Have you been ill?' :grumble: :noway:



    The have you been ill comment is odd. But as for not noticing before... if we see people every day they sometimes don't notice because the change is gradual. It takes a week or a month of not seeing them for it to kick in how much you have lost. Its the same reason that we sometimes dont notice it on our selves. We see it every day and so the small changes look different then the big ones!
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    Options
    A co-worker I've known for close to 20 years came up to me at the opening meeting for the school year and whispered in my ear...

    "You look great! Have you been ill?"

    I was so stunned, I was speechless for a moment. She went on to say 'You've lost so much weight! Was it on purpose?' I very politely told her that I had lost the weight on purpose and had worked hard to do so.

    The odd thing is that I've seen this woman several times a week, every week for the entire time I was actively losing weight. Even odder, I've been at maintenance since March and really haven't lost anything significant for close to six months.

    And WTH is up with 'You look great! Have you been ill?' :grumble: :noway:

    Really...what the heck does that even mean?? lol Well congratulations on your success!!!

    I guess she was worried I was wasting away from an eating disorder... or cancer... or something other than honest hard work and willpower.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
    Options
    A co-worker I've known for close to 20 years came up to me at the opening meeting for the school year and whispered in my ear...

    "You look great! Have you been ill?"

    I was so stunned, I was speechless for a moment. She went on to say 'You've lost so much weight! Was it on purpose?' I very politely told her that I had lost the weight on purpose and had worked hard to do so.

    The odd thing is that I've seen this woman several times a week, every week for the entire time I was actively losing weight. Even odder, I've been at maintenance since March and really haven't lost anything significant for close to six months.

    And WTH is up with 'You look great! Have you been ill?' :grumble: :noway:

    Really...what the heck does that even mean?? lol Well congratulations on your success!!!

    I guess she was worried I was wasting away from an eating disorder... or cancer... or something other than honest hard work and willpower.

    A grossly overweight man in my building started dropping weight extremely quickly and I was afraid to say anything to him because I didn't know him well and it was falling off so quickly I really was afraid he was terribly sick.

    Turns out he had a gastric bypass. But I didn't know, so I just stayed quiet until someone finally clued me in!

Categories