It just seems so far away

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  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    Just take one day at a time. If your goal is to eat more vegetables and less sugar today, you can do that, right? Just eat less sugar and more vegetables today. Worry about tomorrow, when it gets here.

    I found myself worrying about Halloween candy the other day. Yeah, Halloween is pretty far away still, yet I giving myself anxiety over candy that will be available 2 months from now. When I put it into perspective about what exactly I was getting all stressed out about, I felt much better.

    Our emotions don't distinguish between present, past and future. If we think about something that already happened or something that might happen someday, we get just as worked up about it as if it were happening to us right now. It sounds like you are worrying about your present weight while thinking about your future birthday. Give your brain a break and just worry about what is happening right now.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
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    It seemed far away to me six months ago too...and if I hadn't kicked my butt in gear and gotten going, it would still be just as far away now. Instead, the destination is a lot closer and the changes are obvious. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step - and it continues with putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again until you reach the destination.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Short trips. It's the only way.

    I, personally, find those interum goals tough. I just hit the lowest I've been in maybe 20 years - and I'm 18 pounds down and this was my first goal. But now that I'm there, it's obvious I should lose another 20. Sigh.

    But your birthday is a LONG way off and you're not that far from your next goal. You can do it. One step at a time.
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
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    It is hard when you first start and have so much to lose. I want to lose 100 lbs at least but it was so discouraging thinking about losing all of that in the beginning. It kinda made me feel like why even try? But i finally did and slowly the days turned into months and the pounds were coming off. Now im 30 lbs away from my 100 lb goal and i feel its SO possible. I just couldnt look at the bigger picture. I would focus on 10 lbs at a time.
  • SmileyFaceGuy
    SmileyFaceGuy Posts: 201
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    It helps me to remember that the real goal is to live healthily for the rest of my life. The weight loss goal is just a result of that healthy lifestyle, and it will be attained eventually.
  • vypeters
    vypeters Posts: 475 Member
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    Here's what helped me:

    First, set small achievable goals. My first was to get under 300. Then was 275. Then was going from morbidly obese to obese...and so on. Early on the goals were 20-25 lbs apart. Later as I got closer and my loss therefore slowed down they got closer together...never more than 10 lbs apart. I had a small non-food reward planned as I hit each mini-goal.

    Second, don't set timelines. You can control your eating, you can control your exercise, you can't control the scale. Nothing is worse than wanting to lose 20 lbs by xxx date, losing 19 and feeling like a failure because you missed some artificial timeline when you're really a success for ditching the 19 lbs.

    Third, don't weigh every day. If necessary, have someone hide the scale. Weigh weekly, at the same time and on the same day, first thing in the morning wearing your birthday suit. There will still be fluctuations in hydration, but that's the closest you'll get to consistent conditions.

    Finally, I had 4 mini-stalls on the way down, the longest one was 4 weeks. I always lost inches and clothing size during the stalls, but I also at first tended to freak out and think I had to change something. Stalls happen. If you stay on plan, they also break.

    Good luck!
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
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    Vypeters- very helpful! One question, you did nothing during the stalls to get it going again? I've been stalled for 2 weeks now (I know that's not long) but I've never stalled & I'm getting anxious. Did you notice a bigger loss after those 4 weeks?

    And congrats!!!!!! You're awesome!
  • huanu
    huanu Posts: 35 Member
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    Sounds like we have a lot in common regarding our goals! I started at 288 pounds, I got as low as 218 and then gained back up to 232 and now I'm 226. The other day I got back at this more seriously because I set a goal to finally be under 200 pounds by my 40th birthday which is also in April!
    I know I can lose 26 pounds in 7 months and that will be my little gift to myself. Then I'll need to lose at least 50 more pounds to get to my goal.
    I like mini goals. Setting little achievable goals makes it seem less overwhelming. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am and in a way I'm glad because it also gave me time to really change my relationship with food and exercise.
    I hope you get to your goal in April too :) I'm sure you can do it! Just keep at it!
  • ashmantious
    ashmantious Posts: 3 Member
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    Thank you all for your encouragement and advice!
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    Time is going to pass either way. You can either spend that time working on your health and shedding a few pounds or keep staying down about your weight. <<< That is what I tell myself when I'm feeling hopeless.

    This is exactly what I tell myself.

    Well, that and the old standby: Never, never, never give up. (Thanks, Churchill.)
  • SunnyLuc87
    SunnyLuc87 Posts: 60
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    I have a lot of weight to lose and it feels like it is going to take forever. Sometimes it is so difficult to be patient.
    I find it easier to cope when I measure my progress in fitness goals rather than weight (though I'm not about to throw out the scale). You can set a goal to run a certain distance or use your favorite cardio machine for a certain number of minutes. You could set a goal to do a certain number of reps on a strength training exercise. Whatever it is, I like to choose a goal that is definitely possible, but a significant challenge.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    I turned 40 last Year. I was somewhere around 250-255. A few weeks ago i finally went under the "obese" mark of 215 for my height. of 5' 11" I am just "overweight" now at 213.5. It isn't always easy, and the process is damn slow, but it is worth it. Today when I walk, I can defintely feel that it takes less energy to move myself around, so you better believe I am more wiling to walk, or move around, which will lead to more weight loss.
    A lot of people get discouraged when they mess up a day, and they say to hell with it, and give it all up. I have religiously kept up my food log, even when I've pigged out, I wrote down everything i ate, and yes, on those bad days, I am discouraged by what I ate, but I get back into it the next day and try to stick to my goals. Even when my weight has plateaued, or gone up, I keep at it. If you try to eat better, and exercise, you WILL see improvements, but they will be slow, and maybe a 1/2 pound here, 2 pounds there, but they add up.
    Don't get discouraged, just concentrate on your goals, and get to work, and be patient.
  • babymine55
    babymine55 Posts: 127 Member
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    Don't let the numbers discourage you!! YOU CAN DO THIS! It sounds cheesy, but, you can meet your goal-ONE BITE AT A TIME.

    When I started my journey it seemed almost impossible. Lose 240 pounds??!! Me??!! ...but, it has to start somewhere. An earlier poster said it exactly right, make smaller goals so you can celebrate your successes. (I would buy a goal outfit or goal pants)

    I'm still considered obese-but, I REFUSE to let that title define me!

    For as many knuckleheads as there are on here (some days I would be described as one)...there are also some great, helpful, encouraging, and HIGHLY entertaining people on here.

    Best wishes to you!!

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