How do people deal with this?

StormyGal8
StormyGal8 Posts: 184 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Has this happened to anyone else?

I saw an old picture of myself, and compared it to a recent one my husband had taken of me, and thought I was making some decent headway. For the first time in all the time I have been overweight, I didn't HATE a picture of myself. I felt my confidence lift, and I was so excited to see the changes. The weight difference between the original picture I was looking at, and the new one, was about 45lbs (but my ticker only covers my weight loss while on MFP, because I lost the rest over a year ago).

So last night I was out at the barn working with my horse. Since it was the first time I had ever ridden him (he had weight issues when I got him in May, and needed to get weight off first, as did I) one of the girls took a bunch of pictures and a couple of video clips. She posted them on Facebook for me, and when I saw them, I was heart broken. I feel that I look the same as I did in that very first picture, 45lbs ago! And now that I see the pictures, I feel like I am too big/heavy to be up on my guy's back (despite all my horsey friends telling me I am not).

How does one get over the let down, and heart break of seeing proof that you are no where close to where you thought you were?

I am not about to give up. I am not about to binge, but I am sad and frustrated. I feel like i have worked my *kitten* off for nothing. I WILL keep at it, but that doesn't help me feel like I am actually making a difference in my body and my appearance.
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Replies

  • CourtLiv
    CourtLiv Posts: 68 Member
    It takes a long time for your brain to see the new you.

    After my second son was born, I lost 79 lbs over the course of 6 or so months...this was two years ago. I have worn a size 2 ever since and I am still uncomfortable in my own skin. It's gotten better over time, but it won't happen overnight.

    Good luck to you.
  • JessyJ03
    JessyJ03 Posts: 627 Member
    You need to stay positive Stormy. You wont help yourself at all by thinking this way. Also keep in mind ... 99% of the population does NOT see themselves clearly. I'm sure there are big changes that you just aren't noticing.

    Keep fighting, you will get to where you want to be. Weight loss doesn't necessarily mean you will be happy with your appearance, that change comes from within.
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
    But you just said about the recent one your husband took? You said you felt great etc and you were doing really well...could it be just the way the photo was taken? The angle, the clothes you were wearing?


    45lbs is ALOT to lose and you done it! Don't feel disappointed...you SAW changes...hugs :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • tiarapants
    tiarapants Posts: 1,015 Member
    Do you know something, I've lost 191 pounds and still hate photos of me!

    You are doing so well and you must not let yourself get down because of a few photos. I swear that cameras lie all the time :huh:

    Just keep on doing what you are doing - as I've said before, there is no time limit on weight loss x
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    It has to be from a bad angle, clothing you had on or something. I have lost 41lbs and I KNOW I don't look the same. I'd just blow it off as a bad pic! Don't worry about it, I'm sure you look fine!
  • Culley34
    Culley34 Posts: 224
    Truth is that you are making a difference. I understand the frustration and heartache, but use this as motivation! What about your clothes -- do you feel a difference there? What about your appetite?

    You've already lost 45 lbs. You're well on your way to success.

    There is only one thing capable of stopping you... and that is YOU.
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    The problem with pictures... Depending on the angle, lighting and what you're wearing, it's really hard to tell the changes you've made. It was probably just a bad angle, and had nothing to do with the weight. Be proud of your losses, and keep up the great work. Soon you'll see the changes more and more!
  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 376 Member
    I feel the same way. My goal back in January was to lose 30lbs. When I reached that goal, I set my calories at maintenance for two weeks to give myself a break while we were on vacation. Then I saw pictures of myself on vacation and all I saw were the rolls still left behind. So I reset my goals, and although it's frustrating, I'm a work in progress :) Hang in there!
  • livelovlaugh
    livelovlaugh Posts: 16 Member
    You have lost 25lbs and that is amazing in itself. Our bodies are sometimes very slow to show our efforts. I started this program two months ago and have only seen 10lbs come off. You have to also understand that in the beginning photos and videos are not an accurate reflection of the changes that our bodies are going through. I carry a lot of my weight in my mid section and although my pants are looser I feel like the fat has moved down to make a larger pooch. However, I tell myself it took my body sometime to get to this point and it will take sometime to get back to where I need to be. Don't get discouraged. The rewards down the road will be worth all the work and effort. Nothing that is great comes easy. If you need a friend to talk to just message me :)

    Deanna
  • soontobesam
    soontobesam Posts: 714 Member
    I think it's just the way our brains are wired. I've lost about 35 and I FEEL amazing most of the time but occasionally I will see a picture or look in the mirror and it seems like I haven't made any progress or suddenly all the weight I still have left to lose is more apparent.

    Don't be so hard on yourself - it wasn't for nothing!! You are way closer to where you want to be then you were before!

    Focus on how you feel - what can you do now that you couldn't do before? How do your clothes fit now/ Can you fit into a smaller size, did you have an outfit or shirt that you couldn't wear before but you can rock now??

    Just keep it moving and be patient - your brain will catch up!
  • thingal12
    thingal12 Posts: 302 Member
    Please continue doing what you've been doing to take weight off! You're doing great, too! 45 pounds is a lot, many people take a lot longer to take that much off, and you've done it in a year + 2 month period! :bigsmile: Be proud of your accomplishments because you're awesome!!

    Oh, and I bet theres something wrong with that lady's camera, she may have taken pictures from a certain angle that is just not flattering (no matter what size you are). I have two nieces who are at least 20 pounds overweight, but you dont see it in their pictures because they know how to pose and the picture taker (my sis) knows how to take pictures so that their extra pounds don't show!
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    I have an easy solution that has worked for me... deactivate your Facebook account. Then you don't have to see the bad pictures/videos everyone else takes of you and then tags you in.

    I get the same feeling with pictures of myself. My profile picture for example is from June of this year. I thought I looked so much better than I did over 50 lbs ago (in another picture I have on here in a black tank top with my hubby) but going back and looking at them both I realize that I don't feel that differently about the way I look in them now because I'm not where I want to be yet. Just have to use that feeling as motivation to make the next picture better!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Hello fellow horsewoman! Hmm, your ticker says 25lbs lost. Or did you lose 20lbs previous to MFP? Anyway, a loss of 25lbs may just not be visible in pictures. A bad picture makes me look 20lbs heavier. I just delete pictures that don't make me feel good about myself. After all, a picture can be really deceiving, it's not at all an accurate measure of your weight or health. Can you ask her to take the picture down? You shouldn't have to look at a picture of yourself that you hate.

    I also agree that it takes time for your brain to accept a new body. You still have significant progress left - You will get there! Think of how great those pictures will look :)
  • KimWW
    KimWW Posts: 301 Member
    I recently found out that my doctor's scale was off by about 60 pounds, so...what I thought I weighed was wrong, I was actually 60 pounds heavier. I know exactly what you mean by finding out (or feeling) you haven't made progress you thought you had.

    Well, you could give up. Is where you are where you want to be? I gather not, from your post. So, keep going. You can only stay where you are, move backwards, or move forwards.

    Take another video in a few months and see what you think then.

    Has it occurred to you that different clothes can sit differently, especially if your body position is very different? You don't have a pic of you on the horse back when the original first picture was taken, do you? It is possible that two pictures of you in the same situation would show a big difference. You could be comparing apples and oranges.

    Don't let this derail your progress. Some pics look good, some don't. Stay strong.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Oh yes, I've been there and done that. Hang in there and keep your eye on the prize. You can see how big I was on bobbies fitness blog. I overcame and WON the game finally at age 50. I struggled with weight and have been on diets for 15 years. I have only been my new self for one year now. My mind is still catching up. This is why I can't see having surgery, I can't imagine the mind game it would play plus it is so much healthier to eat less and move more.
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
    Cameras are NOTORIOUS for not showing The Truth! Mirrors are bad enough, but CAMERAS can be nasty! Part of our problem, it seems to me, is the prevalence of images in our daily lives of women who conform to a certain body type. You have acheived an AMAZING victory! Don't let a silly machine convince you that you haven't. :heart:
  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
    Pictures are not always the best thing to look at - sometimes they show you at angles that aren't great... 45lbs is a very impressive weight loss and there will definitely be a difference. If you were on a horse, no doubt the picture was taken from a low angle - this is never a good angle.

    Also when you are sitting down, everything seems to group together... My partner spends much time in a wheelchair and if they ever go out one day walking everyone compliments them on their weight loss ... even though they have clearly lost nothing from the day before.

    My advice - take a picture standing up, these are much clearer indications of weight loss - you never see a before and after picture where people are sitting down in the after picture!

    I do not know much about horses but I hear they are very strong animals so I doubt you have anything to worry about.
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    Photos are all about angle. There is a reason most fashion pictures have a leg in front of the other. It makes the hips look slimmer. It is all angle. You are no less awesome than you were in the picture the hubby took, he just knows how to see you ;)
  • danger_kitteh
    danger_kitteh Posts: 301 Member
    First off HUGE congrats on your weight loss! That's a huge accomplishment!

    I have had the same feelings while seeing photos or even how i feel/then get measured by my trainer. Don't sweat it! You're working hard and getting things done. Slow and steady wins the race.

    As for riding, I personally find that I NEVER looked great while riding, even when I weighed near nothing. Bouncing around, body parts jiggling - considering this was your first time riding your new horse you probably were maybe feeling a bit off balance or tense? for me whenever i concentrate too much when riding I tense up something fierce. Also something that others have mentioned, ANGLES! If you're on the horse and she's standing below you on the ground- holy cow that's the worst angle ever to take a picture of someone.

    Every day that you eat healthy and exercise, take care of your body mind and soul you are 100% making a difference in you. Shake this off and keep going.
  • bostoncoug
    bostoncoug Posts: 5
    I had a physical with my Doctor a little over a month ago, and he really read me the riot act about getting healthier, and he emphasized the importance of getting healthier, and not losing weight. He even suggested throwing out the scale, and sticking to eating healthier. After three days of exercise,and eating right I hopped on the scale and had gained a pound, I almost gave up right then and there. My Doctor's words came back to me and I remembered that I am exercising and eating right because I want to be healthy and not because I need to lose weight. I've lost over 21 lbs now (I can't throw out the scale), but when I get discouraged, I remind myself of how much better I feel minus the 21 lbs and how much better I'll feel as I focus on being more healthy.
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
    Sometimes we are just too good at seeing what we don't like. We distort what we really look like or have an unattainable ideal. Also I have heard a lot of overweight people who lost significant amounts of weight say it took time for their brain to catch up with what their body actually looks like. Concentrate on how good you feel, how fit you are, and your fitness goals. Embrace that strong and fit ARE the definition of beautiful. Embrace the confidence and strength you have earned. You ARE a rock star for working and achieving so much. Keep seeking out the support here. Also take progress pictures NOW every month or so and measurements.
  • dldnvr
    dldnvr Posts: 22 Member
    Keep the picture you like. Toss out the other one.

    Congrats on being well on your way to a much healther you.

    It's always something, I swear the day I hit my goal weight, I'll most likely get a big pimple on my face.

    Focus on what you have done, how much better you must feel now and keep going.
  • jesindc
    jesindc Posts: 724 Member
    *Anyone* can take a bad picture. Anyone! Don't let it get you down. I bet the pictures were taken from a low angle since you were on the horse, right? Nobody looks good from a low angle (not even twiggy people). When I first put weight on in college, my girlfriends and I insisted on taking pictures of each other from high angles so that we didn't look like we had 4 chins.

    I had a similar experience a few months back. I knew I'd lost weight. People had been commenting on it -- I'd dropped a couple sizes in my clothes and the numbers on the scale confirmed that I'd dropped weight, but somebody snapped a picture of me in some workout clothes and I looked dreadful.

    Well I decided that even though I was feel down, I logically knew that I'd made great progress and that it should be celebrated. I went to lululemon and bought some new work-out clothes and now when I put them on, I feel awesome. In full disclosure, lululemon makes some awesome yoga and running pants that totally suck your tummy and legs in and make you look 5 pounds lighter, but they are still comfortable, and I feel like I look really good when I wear them. I highly recommend treating yourself to a new piece of clothing that really compliments your new and improved figure and don't worry about the pictures. You're doing great!
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Keep the camera angle in mind! If you husband was shooting you straight on or even from slightly above you, the subject will appear more slender than from other angles.

    Also, were you sitting or standing in the other photos? Standing in photos makes a person look thinner, especially if your arms are away from your body and if you are standing up straight.

    So if you are comparing and standing photo shot at a slight downward angle to a photo where you are seated and looking down on the photographer, of course the seated photo will appear to add weight.

    Photos are funny things! Just go get some shots at more flattering angles right now and you'll feel better, I promise.
  • KimberlyDCZ
    KimberlyDCZ Posts: 525 Member
    alot of things can factor into the way you look in a photo. Maybe it was the lighting or the clothes you were wearing, your position, etc. Also, it can depend on your mood. When I'm in a good mood, I look in the mirror and see beauty. When I'm in a cranky mood, I notice my flaws. 45 lbs is a big deal, everyone will start to notice soon if they haven't already, including you!
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    Pictures can be deceiving and we are our own worst critiques.
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    alot of things can factor into the way you look in a photo. Maybe it was the lighting or the clothes you were wearing, your position, etc. Also, it can depend on your mood. When I'm in a good mood, I look in the mirror and see beauty. When I'm in a cranky mood, I notice my flaws. 45 lbs is a big deal, everyone will start to notice soon if they haven't already, including you!

    Totally agree, happens to me.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    45 pounds is a huge success! Maybe you were having a bad day and need to look at that picture again? Or maybe you were wearing something unflattering? 45 pounds lost is awesome progress regardless of what a picture makes you think. Congrats, and keep it up!
  • auria17
    auria17 Posts: 94 Member
    You’re judging yourself harshly and are feeling guilt for your horse on top of it. Seeing change is the hardest thing in oneself. That is why it's easier to see what's wrong in someone else’s life than it is to see in your own. The same goes for weight loss. It is easy to see five lbs. of loss in a friend, but you can barely see almost 50 lbs. of difference in yourself? I am sure your horse will be fine with the weight, I know it is hard, but tell your body everyday how much you think it is doing great, and then visualize and think about the size and measurements that you want to be at or the fat percentage that you want to end up at. Weight, like age, in the end, is just a number!
  • pudgeylou
    pudgeylou Posts: 202 Member
    I had this exact experience last night. It is so odd that I would read this now. I have lost 23lbs, I have a long way to go yet but it is a start. I looked at a picture taken a couple weeks ago compared to before I started my weight loss and I felt pretty good, I could see a difference. Last night I took a few pictures of myself and I look the same as in the beginning. I didn't understand how that was possible. I wish it were different but I am glad to see I am not the only one who has had this experience. It is a little disheartening to feel like all your efforts and progress haven't made a difference. Maybe that is why I skipped my workout this morning, I just didn't feel like it was doing any good. Sorry I couldn't spread a little sunshine and make you feel better. Don't worry though, it will happen for us, we keep working at it and we will get there.

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