Hair removal and a Kindergarten diva?

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  • kaa02c
    kaa02c Posts: 103 Member
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    It's too early. Teach her to love herself the way she is. This is a lesson for you to teach her about self-acceptance and insecurities!
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
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    It all depends, but my mother showed me how at age 9, about 2 weeks after my period showed. She figured I hit that point, I should learn all about the "fun" parts .... She showed me, but I never paid much attention until I was 12. But, by that age I was already wearing a C cup bra... so yeah.

    5 is probably alittle young for her to do it herself. If it really bothers her, maybe do it for her or get another safer alternative like the sanding discs. Stay away from products like Nair.... if she's too young to do it herself, that is WAY too dangerous for her to mess with. Maybe offer to go buy her some nice tights, new pants, etc.

    Hopefully you can figure something out that makes her feel better and comforts you at the same time. Good luck.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
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    No way.
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    Is this the first time she's mentioned it? Was she really serious, or did she sound like she was repeating something she has heard? She could just be repeating something she feels she's supposed to say.. I really hope that at 5 (I have a 5 year old son)things like leg hair, aren't real issues. Good luck and hopefully, it was just a passing thought, because as most everyone else has stated.. I wouldn't want this to be a concern for her, nor would I want a 5 year old using a razor.

    Best of luck!
  • GeneveSparkles
    GeneveSparkles Posts: 283 Member
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    I had the same problem when I was young. I was a hairy monkey!! I think my mom let me shave around fifth grade. So I know what it’s like to be teased, I was also teased for wearing glasses :(
    Anyhow, I think five years old is definitely too young and it sets a bad precedence. What if she gains weight and kids tease her about being chubby are you gonna let her go on a diet, or what if she's 16 and doesn't have big boobs are you gonna let her have surgery. Kids are going to have to deal with a lot of things as they grow up bullys/teasing/not winning, but it's the character strengths that parents instill in them that will get them through. Life isn’t always about being the best, having the best or always winning, it’s learning how to deal with life-obstacles and you start learning those things at very young ages.
  • GoldenGirl1979
    GoldenGirl1979 Posts: 716 Member
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    wow, this is tough... i have a first grader & i wouldn't dream of shaving her legs this young... then again, i would hate for her to get picked on b/c of hairy legs... i think it's too young... tell her she's beautiful & so is every part of her, including her legs!!

    if that doesn't work, can she just wear pants (or are dresses a part of her school uniform) :ohwell:
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I always feel bad for young girls I see with "hair issues" as I call them. Unibrows, facial hair, hairy legs. I usally see it in darker skinned girls ( i don't want to offend anybody) and what I think are Indian girls/tween/teens. I feel sad for them having to deal with that problem, and I assume that their mothers refuse to let them groom. I will let my daughter get her eyebrows waxed as soon as she wants to, and can handle the experience. I would rather her feel comfortable and confident than push my ideals.

    In a perfect world our self esteem wouldn't be based on our looks, but that just isn't the case. Teach her how to properly, and safely shave her legs. It will be fun at first, but it will soon become boring and she will move on to my fun activities.

    Why do you feel sad for them? Refuse to let them groom?? Why? So they can fall into someone else's idea and standard of beauty? In many cultures body hair is accepted and considered beautiful. Who says it's a problem for them?? Personally, I think it's your problem. I'm sorry, but you are perpetuating the same negative narrow-mindedness that the OP's daughter is apparently trying so hard to avoid.
  • Mollydolly10
    Mollydolly10 Posts: 431 Member
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    All of these responses are great. I agree with pretty much all of them - kindergarten is very young. To the person talking about the issue of her daughter's self-esteem, one thing that pops in my mind is that today she is being picked on for hairy legs (which yes, can be taken care of), but what if tomorrow it's because of something she CAN'T change about herself? Basically, I think a liiiiiiiittle (emphasis here) bit of being picked on will make her a stronger person and help her find ways to verbalize, defend herself, and also plan for herself. Because in life, you won't always be able to make everyone happy and keep everyone from picking on you.

    To the OP, I sound a lot like you, I'm 5'4", daaaaaark hair, my mom let me use an electric razor (something to consider later on, since you can't cut yourself) in I believe 3rd-4th grade (I was playing a lot of sports and HAD to be in shorts), then started my period in 5th. Little kids will find anything to pick on others, unfortunately.

    Random note: I hope my first paragraph doesn't come across as mean, but I'm now 24 and thinking back to my childhood for instance, I wish my parents hadn't always been so quick to pull me out of uncomfortable situations when I was young. I never went to summer camp without feeling entirely homesick, and always ended up having my mom drive hours to pick me up early to go home. As an adult, leaving for college was horrible, I was so maladjusted from never having to truly DEAL with change. Even now when I move, I am very conscious of how sick/stressed/anxious I feel about it - but at least now I know it about myself and can try to make the best of it. Anyways, just my two cents! There's a saying that if you want your children to be grounded, put a little weight on their shoulders. Having to deal with things themselves, makes them strong! :-)
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    Another thread, revealing a priceless window into the female psyche for the few male members of this community. Oh, how I love you women.
  • gadenni34
    gadenni34 Posts: 294 Member
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    It is so hard to know that our child is hurting, I know.
    I think it is sad though that so many people think to preserve self esteem we need to teach our children to do something that is only deemed necessary by a vain society.
    I personally would not allow my kid to shave, wax or otherwise worry about the hair on her legs. my goodness...she is ONLY 5. I would use it as a teaching moment that some kids are unable to understand that what your legs look like is not what is important. it is what is inside. I would try to boost her ego while being understanding that it hurts to be picked on but continue to encourage her not to care so much what others think. and we would have dialogue about it often to try to monitor how she is really handling it.
    By allowing her to remove the hair from her legs, IMO, you only teach her that 1. it is ok to judge others on appearance alone and 2. it matters what others think of us. and that is heartbreaking to me at her young age.

    Good luck because no matter what we do as mom's the decisions are always hard.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I wouldn't do it because I simply wouldn't the added hassle. For a five year old you already have to bathe them, wash their hair, etc. I would wait until she was old enough to do such personal care stuff on her own as well as old enough to handle using a razor, then show her what to do and let her do it.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    my kid(4) said the same thing after watching me shave(closed doors mean next to nothing to her) so i said sure, and then i showed her my electric tweezers(that i was useing when she let herself in)........:laugh: well she dosent want to shave any more so ima chalk that up to a win for bad parenting:bigsmile:
  • gjsmommy
    gjsmommy Posts: 90 Member
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    I agree that its too early. I have two girls myself (6 & 3) and I haven't come across this issue yet but if you start the hair removal now...what's next & where do you draw the line? I don't allow my girls to wear nail polish or any kind of make-up and tell them that its for grown-ups. Kids grow up so fast already and I don't intend to help that along by introducing things like regular hair removal & make-up at an age where they aren't ready to take care of for themeselves.
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
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    The notion of shaving a 5 year olds legs is nauseating. Next thing you know some Moms out there will start putting makeup,fake hair, fake boobs and dress them up like grown women and have beauty pageants. PLEASE allow little girls to be children in this hypersexualized society.
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
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    The problem is that, especially for girls, they get so many messages that what is beautiful is this highly sexualized image with no body hair, lots of skin, tight clothes, etc. At that age I would really try to discourage too much emphasis on physical appearance. Have clothes that are fun and comfortable, keep herself neat and clean, but downplay the "girly" clothes, makeup, heels, etc. Our society just is obsessed with sexualizing girls in their dress and appearance and it's really unhealthy. The desire to see body hair as ugly when she is 5 is a symptom of that. All 5 years olds have it and they should see that the other 5 year old girls also have it. If she has more-well that's just part of what makes her "her" and she is still beautiful. Id tell her no and move on. If she repeatedly brings it up and is unhappy about it try to find out why and talk to her about what she is seeing or experiencing that makes her feel this way. good luck-parenting girls is full of challenges.
  • TeraGC
    TeraGC Posts: 40 Member
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    THank you for all the replies! I don't have many friends with kids so it's nice to get other views on the subject. Will I probably try and push it off for a while, yes.

    Just curious and not sure how to feel about it....I'm a single mom and she's my baby girl...my one and only and has all of mommy's attention. I want her happy but I don't wanna do something to make matters worse

    Remember that they will pick on her whether she has hair on her legs or too many freckles, four eyes, etc... Whatever teasing happens, just remind her that she is beautiful and smart and capable every single day and she can start shaving closer to 10 or 11
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    The notion of shaving a 5 year olds legs is nauseating. Next thing you know some Moms out there will start putting makeup,fake hair, fake boobs and dress them up like grown women and have beauty pageants. PLEASE allow little girls to be children in this hypersexualized society.

    AGREE!!!!
  • shadoewz
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    So many times one of my babies has come home from school in a tizzy about something the "other kids" picked on them about. It is heartbreaking, and I do understand that as a mom, we want to fix everything for our kids that we possibly can. The trouble is though, the more a kid changes because of what the "others" pick on them about, the more things those others will pick about. And when its something about height, color, sex, religion, athletic abilities or the lack of them, eye color, hair color .... well you get the idea, there are a lot of things that NOBODY can do anything about, right?

    So, I had to learn to teach my kids to suck it up and be proud of who they are, hairs, scars, height, abilities and disabilities, it all makes them uniq
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
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    The notion of shaving a 5 year olds legs is nauseating. Next thing you know some Moms out there will start putting makeup,fake hair, fake boobs and dress them up like grown women and have beauty pageants. PLEASE allow little girls to be children in this hypersexualized society.

    ^^^^THIS!
  • Seriousmom3
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    Use some of the hair lightening gel, it will make the hair more blonde and less noticeable. Safe for everyone.