Hair removal and a Kindergarten diva?

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  • mfoutch86
    mfoutch86 Posts: 87
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    I always feel bad for young girls I see with "hair issues" as I call them. Unibrows, facial hair, hairy legs. I usally see it in darker skinned girls ( i don't want to offend anybody) and what I think are Indian girls/tween/teens. I feel sad for them having to deal with that problem, and I assume that their mothers refuse to let them groom. I will let my daughter get her eyebrows waxed as soon as she wants to, and can handle the experience. I would rather her feel comfortable and confident than push my ideals.

    In a perfect world our self esteem wouldn't be based on our looks, but that just isn't the case. Teach her how to properly, and safely shave her legs. It will be fun at first, but it will soon become boring and she will move on to my fun activities.

    Why do you feel sad for them? Refuse to let them groom?? Why? So they can fall into someone else's idea and standard of beauty? In many cultures body hair is accepted and considered beautiful. Who says it's a problem for them?? Personally, I think it's your problem. I'm sorry, but you are perpetuating the same negative narrow-mindedness that the OP's daughter is apparently trying so hard to avoid.

    I feel sad for them because of the teasing and how it impacts their lives. I wouldn't want that for any child. Yes, I assume when a tween/teen has a unibrow or facial hair, it is because their mothers won't let them remove it. I'm sure that isn't the case 100% of the time, but more often than not, it is. That is fine and dandy that body hair is accepted and beautiful in many cultures, however, in ours, it simply isn't the case,that isn't a bad thing, its just different.

    I never said I had a problem with hair, I said that I feel sad when I think that they maybe suffering. If they love it, I love it! It is isnt narrow minded or negative to want a child protected from teasing. I choose to conform to the standard of beauty that I like, and we are all free to do the same. Do you see how that works? It seems that you just want to condem the typical American ideals of beauty, rather than accept that is just as worthy as others. Is that the case?
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I always feel bad for young girls I see with "hair issues" as I call them. Unibrows, facial hair, hairy legs. I usally see it in darker skinned girls ( i don't want to offend anybody) and what I think are Indian girls/tween/teens. I feel sad for them having to deal with that problem, and I assume that their mothers refuse to let them groom. I will let my daughter get her eyebrows waxed as soon as she wants to, and can handle the experience. I would rather her feel comfortable and confident than push my ideals.

    In a perfect world our self esteem wouldn't be based on our looks, but that just isn't the case. Teach her how to properly, and safely shave her legs. It will be fun at first, but it will soon become boring and she will move on to my fun activities.

    Why do you feel sad for them? Refuse to let them groom?? Why? So they can fall into someone else's idea and standard of beauty? In many cultures body hair is accepted and considered beautiful. Who says it's a problem for them?? Personally, I think it's your problem. I'm sorry, but you are perpetuating the same negative narrow-mindedness that the OP's daughter is apparently trying so hard to avoid.

    I feel sad for them because of the teasing and how it impacts their lives. I wouldn't want that for any child. Yes, I assume when a tween/teen has a unibrow or facial hair, it is because their mothers won't let them remove it. I'm sure that isn't the case 100% of the time, but more often than not, it is. That is fine and dandy that body hair is accepted and beautiful in many cultures, however, in ours, it simply isn't the case,that isn't a bad thing, its just different.

    I never said I had a problem with hair, I said that I feel sad when I think that they maybe suffering. If they love it, I love it! It is isnt narrow minded or negative to want a child protected from teasing. I choose to conform to the standard of beauty that I like, and we are all free to do the same. Do you see how that works? It seems that you just want to condem the typical American ideals of beauty, rather than accept that is just as worthy as others. Is that the case?

    How do you know they are teased? Your post didn't say anything about them being teased or suffering. You said you feel sad that they have to deal with the problem of facial and body hair. Why would you assume that they even want to remove a unibrow or facial hair? That's what I was getting at. Your assumption that their mom's won't let them remove it is based on (what seems to be) your idea of it being unacceptable based on your standard of beauty. I don't believe that body hair is not accepted in our culture. The preference to remove it is a totally different thing.

    I agree that we are free to have our opinions and ideas of what is beautiful. If you want to conform to the typical American ideals of beauty, that's fine. Do I think the typical American ideals are not beautiful or worthy? Not at all. However, I do think they are unrealistic because they don't encompass the entire scope of beauty. For that very reason, the Dove Campaign was created for our children so they would understand that the typical American ideals are not the end all, be all of beauty.

    It's up to us to teach our kids that they are enough just the way they are.
    Instead of teaching them to conform to someone else's standard of what is beautiful and acceptable, we need to teach them how to step up and tell others they are proud of who they are, how to be strong, confident, self-assured and self-accepting.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    To clarify: She's made comments before b/c she does see me shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows and to be completely candid, use hair removal cream b/c I don't wanna look like the bearded woman. Usually I just chuckle and tell her she's too young to be shaving and add "silly girl"
    This was the first time she's said "my legs look hairy like my dad's"
    It's NOT nauseating that she thinks a girl's legs should be smooth and hair free, after all, Mommy's are hair free.
    Will I re-enforce that no one is probably paying any attention to her legs right now? Yea
    Like earlier stated, I don't have friends with little girls...Had no one to really bounce the idea off of.
    I appreciate the responses.

    And as far as self love - esteem - etc....I tell my child on a daily basis that she's beautiful.
    However, Mommy wears make up
    Mommy shaves
    Mommy works out
    Mommy does things to make herself look nice

    So for her to mimic me is NO surprise?

    NOTE: off the subject of hair but because it was brought up....
    The word FAT and DIET aren't words used in my home. We eat healthy and sometimes have things that are less than healthy but man, taste good food, on occasion. My kid will pick salad over Pizza b/c that's what is normal for her.
    She'll join in when I'm working out b/c she thinks it's something fun to do with mom

    I've never had a problem with her being mean or picking on other kids.
    The word fat is so seldom used that when my mother, who is obese, said something about needing to work out my daughter replied, "oh, so you can be straight like mommy?" heh my mom chuckled but a little confused bout what my daughter meant.
    "well, ya'know because you're kinda round shaped mimi and mommy is kinda straight" :laugh:
  • HotAshMess
    HotAshMess Posts: 382 Member
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    I don't remember when I officially started. Maybe 11 or 12, but I was doing it with my mom's razor "secretly" for months. A quick horror story....after I started shaving my legs, a friend of mine who was a year and a half younger than me, decided to try shaving hers (jealousy? feeling "peer pressure" because I was bragging about the new "mature" thing I was being allowed to do? I have no idea). I have no idea how she managed to do this, but she took a good 6-7 inch long strip of skin right off the middle of her leg. I honestly have no idea how she managed it, but she did. After she healed and some serious lectures from her mom, she was shown the right and safe way (also darker complexion and hair).

    This is really your decision. You know what you are comfortable with as a parent. I've been watching my step daughter lately and wondering when she is going to ask because she'll ask me before she asks either of her parents and trying to decide what I'm going to do. She is 8, and luckily blonde. I'm sure it will be awhile. But she does have quite a bit of fuzz on them. I think if I were you, I might consider using those lotions that reduces hair (not something like Nair) I think Jergen's actually makes something that reduces the appearance of hair. Or I would consider those buffer pads (they were selling them on t.v awhile back. You'd probably still be able to find them online. I've used them on myself. It's a lot of work if you're fat and using it on yourself, but I've had my boyfriend buff them for me and it was wonderful. He's kind of brutal, but the results were nice
  • KatiD83
    KatiD83 Posts: 152 Member
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    I had the same issue when I was a kid, and I was picked on horribly for it. Having PCOS didn't help as I had to shave my chin by the time I was in 5th grade. Talk to her doctor about a hair removal cream. It would be safer than a razor, and you could set a limit, like only using it once a month.

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