HUMILIATED!!!!!!

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  • amselby81
    amselby81 Posts: 150 Member
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    Sheesh, I guess I'm stupid too b/c I've gone in a store before and forgot that I needed a smaller size. Cut the guy some slack.

    To the OP, he didn't mean that you still looked like you needed a 20. He just forgot...like I've done for myself. Just when he gets used to you being in a size 18, you'll be in a size 16 and then he might make the mistake of blurting out, "Size 18!" while you're shopping. Try not to take it to heart. Just forgetfulness.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
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    Hate to be insensitive....but didn't you create this here thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/731787-yes-i-am-fat

    He just had an honest reaction, he did not mean to humiliate you. Plus, what do men know about women's jeans sizes.
  • letstryagainn
    letstryagainn Posts: 1
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    my daughter ,shes lostso much weight. but then shes only 14. she asked me when i thought i lookd ok, she says mom are you going to wear that? (i wanted to say to her yes, this is the only thing that fits!!!!!!) cant wait to get started on this program. im tired of being FAT !
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
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    Date older men who aren't as insensitive and immature.
  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
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    Men are dumb, no offense.

    I am a guy, and I can say that women's sizes seem to be the most illogical numbers that exist in the universe, us guys do not get it. Until a few years ago I thought that women's sizes were like men's, so I am sure you would have been offended if he had thought you were a 36. Take it in stride and I am sure he is sorry it hurt, but did you get him to pay for the jeans to make up for it?
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
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    So tonight my boyfriend took me shopping. He knew I was in serious need of some new jeans ans wanted to spend the evening with me. This started fine with a yummy sushi dinner but when we got to the first store.......
    I walked over the the wall where the jeans were stacked, before going for my size I was reading a sign they had up explaining the body type that best fit each style they offered (which is nice, 'cause I gotta whole lot of junk in my truck, and I'm always looking for pair with extra butt room that doesn't make the waist too loose) ANYWAYS! Before I can decide which style to try my boyfriend exclaims, "Size 20! I didn't know they even made that size!" The punch line: I wear a size 20 (less, I found out tonight I fit in to an 18 now, but still) I was mortified! What was I supposed to say?! I teared up and felt so embarrassed. I NEVER get embarrassed - I mean EVER (like, once in public I was super sick with the flu and soiled my pants and was not embarrassed - *kitten* happens) but man, oh man, that killed me!
    I mean, I told him that was my size and he felt really bad for saying it and yadda yadda but It destroyed me. I've lost 25 pounds so far! I've been working my butt off to get in shape and be healthy........and in one breath he shredded my self esteem.


    OK, before I read any further, I Gotta Correct something...Can't let you mess this saying up! It Is "Junk in MY TRUNK" TRUNK>>>the END of the car, Big Butt, GET IT. OK, NOW I'll finish reading.

    ...............oh I'm so very sorry I accidently missed the "n" key while emotionally compromised.....I'll be sure to continue chastising myself
  • AngelsFan91106
    AngelsFan91106 Posts: 111 Member
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    pretty sure most guys don't really know how women sizes work and all we hear in the media and stuff is size 0-4. I didn't know how sizes worked for women until one Halloween I needed to get a dress, so needless to say as 6'1 guy I looked very nice in a size 28 or something like that :-P

    But again, I'm sure he just doesn't know much about sizes, so don't take it to heart. I'm sorry it was an embarrassing moment for you ;(

    Listen to this dude. He's totally right. Men have NO idea how women's sizing work. But I still get how much that must've hurt. I'm SO sorry. But I know he didn't mean any harm. ~hugs~
  • tiffanytalbert85
    tiffanytalbert85 Posts: 2 Member
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    Do your best not to let it bother you. Just remember that he did NOT think that you were anywhere close to a size 20 when he said that. Guys don't know girl sizes, all they ever hear is us griping about girls wearing double zeros, so they may think the sizes run small. Don't give up on your goal! If you keep working at being healthier and think about it everyday, without beating yourself up, then in a year you'll be happier than ever about yourself. If you stop and give up then in a year you'll for sure be in the same boat you decided to get away from now. Try not to let that comment cloud your initial reason for doing all this to begin with. Random side note, some people are mean. Some random girl and the guy she was with upset me yesterday at a gas station. My boyfriend is a big guy and I love him, and I was pretty big but I've lost 43lbs since January. I can wear a size 14 in some pants now, although they're tight still. They were looking and pointing at us, giggling with each other behind us. I wouldn't have been sure they were talking about us if it wasn't for the reflective glass in the front of the building. She doesn't know I've lost weight and look better than I have in 10 years, and she doesn't care. So I've been trying not to let it bring me down. It's not easy. Either way I'm not going to give up or cry about it. I don't think you should either. And I'm a known crier so that's really saying something :)
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
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    Hate to be insensitive....but didn't you create this here thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/731787-yes-i-am-fat

    He just had an honest reaction, he did not mean to humiliate you. Plus, what do men know about women's jeans sizes.

    I'm aware I'm fat - the difference being my boyfriend acknowledging that I'm overweight and him not realizing that people actually come as fat as me!
  • kfarall
    kfarall Posts: 3 Member
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    I have two stories here. Once a boyfriend literally asked me what those things were on my stomach, and I exclaimed they are stretch marks and he had them too. I was like ARE YOU SERIOUS!?
    Literally the other night my friend is dating a new guy and they were making out and he was touching her stomach and she was thinking he is going a little far too soon and stopped him and his response was "are you embarrassed of your stretch marks, is that why you don't want me looking at your stomach?" And he wasn't being mean hearted, just honest.
    Bottom line, men are senseless.
  • jenjones28
    jenjones28 Posts: 66 Member
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    Men have no concept of women's sizing at all. He probably has no clue what you weigh - you're his hot GF and that's all he knows.
    ^This.
    For Christmas one year when my husband and I were first married he bought me a new jacket. Keep in mind I was really skinny at the time and wore a size 4..... He bought me a size 16. The reason? It was closest to my age.

    Boys are dumb. They have no idea how women's sizes work.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Straight up fact: he didn't know. Some people tend to blurt things out without thinking and with clothes, size numbers can surprise you. I get surprised at what gets made into a 4XL and I used to wear that size. I think if he'd known he would not have said anything. And like someone else mentioned, guy sizes and girl sizes differ by a LOT, so who knows what he really thought of seeing a 20.

    Basically, take his apology and if you still feel bad, take it out on something in a positive form. If the guy doesn't turn around and call you a fat a** or a freak for having been a size 20 in jeans at one point, then chances are he doesn't really care.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Men have no concept of women's sizing at all. He probably has no clue what you weigh - you're his hot GF and that's all he knows.
    Yes. This. I remember one Chrismas when my hubby bought me some pajamas--size medium. I was wearing XL at the time. It hurt my feelings because I thought he was trying to send me a message, like maybe I needed to lose some weight and get down to that size or something. But no. He just thought I looked "medium sized", so that's what he bought.
    Clearly, your boyfriend sees you in a different light than you see yourself.
    And...don't overlook the fact that you've lost a jean size! Way to go! :drinker:
  • Tarek307
    Tarek307 Posts: 29
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    if i was a realist i'd answer back saying BOO F'n HOO.... but i'm a nice guy and politically correct, so i'll say awwwwwww what a sad story!

    ps: forgot to add, you should be happy you lost 2 sizes, dont see what the problem is
  • darrcn5
    darrcn5 Posts: 495 Member
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    Men have no clue how women's sizing works; they have no idea what is a "big" size. I remember being close to tears that I had to get a size 18 6 weeks after having my son, and DH literally says "I don't know why you are so upset. I wear a size 36!"
  • Tapemymouthshutplease
    Tapemymouthshutplease Posts: 101
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    I am so sorry your boyfriend's comment hurt you! I hope you can see he didn't mean to hurt you with his comment, he is just ignorant. There are a lot of people in this world that just blurt things out without thinking how it will affect other people. If you look closely at what happened, turn the tables around on this, it happened with my daughter. She is a size 0, I am like what the heck? I didn't even know they made a size 0! That is so stupid! She got offended by it because she is thin and self concious about it. If someone yelled out : YOU ARE A SIZE 0???? to me, and I was a size 0 I would be like Hell yeah!!! Lol I would love to be a size 0, but that will probably happen about the same time that Hell freezes over. I don't think I could be a size 0 and be healthy. So it really comes down to this, you were a size 20 and not happy about it, you are a size 18 now, and you have worked hard to achieve it. Remember his comment about the size 20, and use it as fuel to keep you from ever being a size 20 again, it is your own unhappiness with yourself that hurts. I know how you feel, I am not happy where I am either, that is why I am here trying to change things!
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
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    if i was a realist i'd answer back saying BOO F'n HOO.... but i'm a nice guy and politically correct, so i'll say awwwwwww what a sad story!

    ps: forgot to add, you should be happy you lost 2 sizes, dont see what the problem is

    Proof men don't understand women's sizes......women know they go in increments of two......
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Your boyfriend obviously likes the way you look, so don't let it get you down. Lots of men are clueless about womens' clothing sizes. Besides, you're on your way to smaller sizes! Don't let a misunderstanding spoil your joy.
  • dadof2boyz
    dadof2boyz Posts: 156 Member
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    Men are dumb, no offense. I am sorry it hurt though. Those off hand comments hurt worse!

    don't brush everyone with the of same brush... we just don't think about the implications of our comments or actions. He thought it was a harmless comment I'm sure. We are not a sensitive "breed" all the time. Sorry that he made you feel that way, but don't keep of hold of your hurt over this. Let it go, tell him how bad you felt and move on. does noone any good to hold onto it.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    Men are dumb, no offense. I am sorry it hurt though. Those off hand comments hurt worse!

    as a man I agree, we have no idea how dumb we are sometimes. I am sure he meant nothing by it and accepts you for who you are and admires your hard work.

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