HUMILIATED!!!!!!
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^This.Men have no concept of women's sizing at all. He probably has no clue what you weigh - you're his hot GF and that's all he knows.
For Christmas one year when my husband and I were first married he bought me a new jacket. Keep in mind I was really skinny at the time and wore a size 4..... He bought me a size 16. The reason? It was closest to my age.
Boys are dumb. They have no idea how women's sizes work.0 -
Straight up fact: he didn't know. Some people tend to blurt things out without thinking and with clothes, size numbers can surprise you. I get surprised at what gets made into a 4XL and I used to wear that size. I think if he'd known he would not have said anything. And like someone else mentioned, guy sizes and girl sizes differ by a LOT, so who knows what he really thought of seeing a 20.
Basically, take his apology and if you still feel bad, take it out on something in a positive form. If the guy doesn't turn around and call you a fat a** or a freak for having been a size 20 in jeans at one point, then chances are he doesn't really care.0 -
Yes. This. I remember one Chrismas when my hubby bought me some pajamas--size medium. I was wearing XL at the time. It hurt my feelings because I thought he was trying to send me a message, like maybe I needed to lose some weight and get down to that size or something. But no. He just thought I looked "medium sized", so that's what he bought.Men have no concept of women's sizing at all. He probably has no clue what you weigh - you're his hot GF and that's all he knows.
Clearly, your boyfriend sees you in a different light than you see yourself.
And...don't overlook the fact that you've lost a jean size! Way to go! :drinker:0 -
if i was a realist i'd answer back saying BOO F'n HOO.... but i'm a nice guy and politically correct, so i'll say awwwwwww what a sad story!
ps: forgot to add, you should be happy you lost 2 sizes, dont see what the problem is0 -
Men have no clue how women's sizing works; they have no idea what is a "big" size. I remember being close to tears that I had to get a size 18 6 weeks after having my son, and DH literally says "I don't know why you are so upset. I wear a size 36!"0
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I am so sorry your boyfriend's comment hurt you! I hope you can see he didn't mean to hurt you with his comment, he is just ignorant. There are a lot of people in this world that just blurt things out without thinking how it will affect other people. If you look closely at what happened, turn the tables around on this, it happened with my daughter. She is a size 0, I am like what the heck? I didn't even know they made a size 0! That is so stupid! She got offended by it because she is thin and self concious about it. If someone yelled out : YOU ARE A SIZE 0???? to me, and I was a size 0 I would be like Hell yeah!!! Lol I would love to be a size 0, but that will probably happen about the same time that Hell freezes over. I don't think I could be a size 0 and be healthy. So it really comes down to this, you were a size 20 and not happy about it, you are a size 18 now, and you have worked hard to achieve it. Remember his comment about the size 20, and use it as fuel to keep you from ever being a size 20 again, it is your own unhappiness with yourself that hurts. I know how you feel, I am not happy where I am either, that is why I am here trying to change things!0
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if i was a realist i'd answer back saying BOO F'n HOO.... but i'm a nice guy and politically correct, so i'll say awwwwwww what a sad story!
ps: forgot to add, you should be happy you lost 2 sizes, dont see what the problem is
Proof men don't understand women's sizes......women know they go in increments of two......0 -
Your boyfriend obviously likes the way you look, so don't let it get you down. Lots of men are clueless about womens' clothing sizes. Besides, you're on your way to smaller sizes! Don't let a misunderstanding spoil your joy.0
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Men are dumb, no offense. I am sorry it hurt though. Those off hand comments hurt worse!
don't brush everyone with the of same brush... we just don't think about the implications of our comments or actions. He thought it was a harmless comment I'm sure. We are not a sensitive "breed" all the time. Sorry that he made you feel that way, but don't keep of hold of your hurt over this. Let it go, tell him how bad you felt and move on. does noone any good to hold onto it.0 -
Men are dumb, no offense. I am sorry it hurt though. Those off hand comments hurt worse!
as a man I agree, we have no idea how dumb we are sometimes. I am sure he meant nothing by it and accepts you for who you are and admires your hard work.0 -
Reading this I had a tear in my eye! I can DEF relate. Not because of this certain circumstance, but because everyone has that moment when you feel EXACTLY the same way.
Like another person said... guys are kinda dumb. Not in a bad way... most of the time they have the great answers, and the perfect responses that make you feel comfy and perfect and nice..... but sometimes their dumb meter goes off, and they remind you that they are men. lol...
He didn't mean it. He is with you because he doesn't see a size. NOR knows what your size is.... And you HAVE to remember that!!! Even tho it seems almost IMPOSSIBLE to do at this point, he doesn't know sizes or what your size is, or what is what. TRUST me any guy that did, would never say that. Most girls dont even understand sizes... so NO men understand it either.
Just remember.. you are size 18 now. SO even you, don't know about a size 20.
That is your past! And 6 months from now, you wont know about a size 18... and a year from now.. you will be in single digits... and know nothing about double digits! Try to use it as a strength... and something you are moving away from... You are doing awesome.. and don't need a guy to tell you that.. or anyone else for that matter! Ignore him.... If at all possible ...Good luck!! 0 -
We men say dumb things sometimes. Its not that we mean to, we don't! But stupid things come out of our mouths.0
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I am so sorry you feel destroyed. I think that I would too......BUT.........you already lost 25 and dropped to an 18, so I say keep on rockin!!! You can do it..........don't let anything, or anyone stop you.
*HUGS* and an extra RAH!RAH!RAH! coming your way!!0 -
Sounds like he spoke before thinking it through and im sure it was not directed at you. I am a female and I have a hard time with female sizes let alone a guy who doesnt shop often in a ladies store. Sure I would feel the same way as you, I am sensitive about my weight. You have accomplished an amazing weight loss, keep up the great work. From how you described your bf he would not intentionally hurt you, it was an honest mistake on his part.0
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SEE! Point proven. That is one size. But seriously WOOO HOOO. Congrats.if i was a realist i'd answer back saying BOO F'n HOO.... but i'm a nice guy and politically correct, so i'll say awwwwwww what a sad story!
ps: forgot to add, you should be happy you lost 2 sizes, dont see what the problem is0 -
We men say dumb things sometimes. Its not that we mean to, we don't! But stupid things come out of our mouths.
LoL Love the honesty. My husband would say the same though lol.0 -
Men make stupid asinine comments sometimes, but it sounds like he really didnt mean it. Obviously he wouldnt say that if he KNEW that was your size. If so then you'd dump him right? Congrats on 25lbs lost and keep it up. So long size 20, and soon size 18 will be a distant memory!0
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It's a man thing. Seriously!!! I do believe they do not have a filter between their brain and mouth sometimes :P
And the fact that he felt bad about what he had said is a good thing
Congrats on the loss so far 0 -
pretty sure most guys don't really know how women sizes work and all we hear in the media and stuff is size 0-4. I didn't know how sizes worked for women until one Halloween I needed to get a dress, so needless to say as 6'1 guy I looked very nice in a size 28 or something like that :-P
But again, I'm sure he just doesn't know much about sizes, so don't take it to heart. I'm sorry it was an embarrassing moment for you ;(
^^ Well said. ^^ I also agree with the poster that commented your guy doesn't see you as a size 20, so that's a compliment in its own way. There are all kinds of shapes and sizes. You must wear yours well. It's your number today, but it won't be a month from now, or 6 months from now. Congratulations to you on all your hard work and weight loss. Sorry this happened. A number of years ago, I was in pantyland with my very skinny bff. She held up a pair of my size undies and said something about nobody that size should be wearing them. She didn't know it was my size, which is probably what saved her!0 -
Date older men who aren't as insensitive and immature.
This also 0 -
something similar happened to me earlier this week, but it was when I hopped on the scale..
my boyfriend looks at the scale and he says : I thought you said you lost 13 lbs so far.. but thats not true !?
I said yeah I'm 216 !
So he replied : Ohh but that means you were OVER 220 ?
I'm like.. euhh yeah I was *wanting to leave my body*
so like everyone else said before..
Men have no clue !!!
dont worry about it You are in this journey for yourself and noone else !!! 0 -
I know how you feel. My husband is " normal" pant 34 and he's 6' 2" . When my twins were first born I hired a lady to help with laundry. She put all of my jeans in his closet... Since my pants are the LARGER ones! Besides all of my other goals, wearing smaller than my husbands is on the top of my list. Hang in there. And congrats on needing a smaller size. P.s. I wear a size 20
^^^^^^^^^See that picture there? I'm wearing the cammie pants my husband wore when he was in the Marines and in the best shape of his life. I'm wearing them because he cannot fit into them. We have been married for 24 years in December and I spent the first 20 unable to get my butt into any of his pants. I wore a size 28 at one time. So hang in there ladies, it WILL happen and it feels goooood!0 -
To be honest...Most guys don't really know women's clothing size... and when all we hear about through media is size 2-4 and size 6-8 is PLUS size..He can't be blamed really. i am so sorry he shattered you but i really don't think he meant it that way. I think he had no clue what a size 20 looked like. Hell, maybe he thought you were a size 6 or 8 because the media says they're the "thicker" ones or bigger girls. Size 18 is great! You're well on your way to looking the way you want. He thinks your beautiful, it was just an idiotic expression 0
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I would have grabbed a size 26 or size 28 and let him stew on those while I slipped into my nice size 18s.
I'm reminded a loooooong time ago that after giving birth to my son, I came home from the hospital to a brand new dress my ex had bought me to "celebrate" the occasion. Now, mind you, I had gained 37 pounds during pregnancy and had weighed about 207. So, here I am, the day after giving birth and what do I find?
A size 12 dress. 12?! I just looked at him. I'd never been a size 12 even BEFORE I'd gotten pregnant. He honestly thought I'd just magically lose 50lbs giving birth.
Proof - men just don't have a clue when it comes to women's bodies.0 -
The implication he made by remarking on size 20 jeans is actually the exact opposite of how you took it. You see, in men's jean sizes, a 20 is considerably smaller than a women's size 0 (size 0 women can wear anywhere from 22-26 in men's jeans). I would be shocked to see a size 20 as well if I were a man and thought women had the same sizing. You'd have to be a kid to fit into them!0
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Men are dumb, no offense. I am sorry it hurt though. Those off hand comments hurt worse!
That's what I was gonna say...0 -
Honestly, I don't even think some women/girls realize sizing thats bigger than them either. Most people either way don't know sizing that isn't their own and don't realize not everyone wears a small size like they do (not everyone just some people). Don't think too much of it, that was super insensitive of him though....:(0
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He probably thought a size 20 was small compared to his size, which is probably a 36. Have you even asked about instead of putting it all over the board? Poor non-thinking husband. He probably thought 20 was too small.0
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I would have hollered, "AN INCH. ONE INCH? I DIDN'T KNOW PENISES CAME IN THAT SIZE!!!"0
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It really is as simple as many folks have already said. Check this wikipedia entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_standard_clothing_size
Note that the section on clothing for men is one little table. The section on clothing for women calls for an Overview table larger than the one for men, which then requires 5 further tables for detailed specifics. I'm a mathematician and I'm tired just looking at those charts.
Dude wasn't being stupid or insensitive, and he certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Apparently he had genuinely never heard about a size 20 for women, but also (and this cannot be overstated) he has no idea what real-world size any of the other numbered sizes correspond to anyway! (I guarantee you that.) So the fact that he was surprised by that arbitrary number as a label has no connection at all to the fact that that's the number that (used to be) attached to the clothes of the girlfriend who he's clearly very into, judging by the beginning of your story.
In sum, absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, so please don't be.0
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