Avoiding social situations

dana114
dana114 Posts: 10
in Health and Weight Loss
I hate that I do this. I'm 25y/o, 5'1" and 178lbs. And lately I have been avoiding a lot of nights out secondary to feeling uncomfortable about my weight and how I look and feel. My friends are great, it's not like they comment about my looks while we are out, they love me for me. But I care. So I make excuses. "I'm tired", "I don't feel well", "I'm busy", etc.. Sometimes they are true. Sometimes they aren't. For example, tonight I was supposed to be out with a few of my friends and I didn't go because I wasn't feeling well...it's true...but a huge part of me was relieved that I wasn't going out...because then I wouldn't have to feel fat and gross in front of other people and spend the whole night hiding it and putting on a happy face. Going out is not fun anymore for me. It's stressful. I'm tired, I have very little energy, and it's hard to have fun with others when you don't like yourself. So now I am sitting on my couch typing this instead. Another thing that is no longer fun...shopping. I hate shopping. I used to love it but now its stressful. I am going on vacation in 2 weeks with a really good friend of mine which should be exciting but the thought of all the pictures we will be taking during our vacation is stressful.

I'm tired of missing out on things because of how I look and feel. I don't want to continue along this path.

I'm new to MFP. I have only been on for 3 days now. Hopefully by this time next year things will be different. And I will actually enjoy doing things once again. I'm not necessarily looking for advice, I just needed to vent.

Replies

  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
    Set up a plan for yourself, and stick to it...Take some pics every month or so, so that you can see the changes. MFP is a good site to help you with your goals.
  • suej20
    suej20 Posts: 21 Member
    Set up a plan for yourself, and stick to it...Take some pics every month or so, so that you can see the changes. MFP is a good site to help you with your goals.

    And also take your measurements. I agree MFP is a great site to really help you focus. It's really helped me learn the different values of the foods I eat. Good luck!
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 558 Member
    You're judging yourself. Your friends are not. The people who see you out with your friends don't know you, so who cares if they are.
    You have come to the right place. Log faithfully. Be honest. Exercise. Good Luck.
  • mfoutch86
    mfoutch86 Posts: 87
    Change your social settings! Go for a hike, try freebie yoga class, do an art walk, etc. I know that at 25, the bar scene was old news, not enjoyable or even interesting. You might just be moving past it. If I was in your shoes, thats what I would say. Sorry guys, I'm over the bar. If they are good friends, they will make your new priorities feel just as important as theirs. MFP has wonderful resources, support and information. I only have one friend in real life that shares my passion for fitness, but on here I have a great team of gals who are like minded and encouraging!
  • uwdawg07
    uwdawg07 Posts: 372
    I know how you feel. When I put on 100 pounds I totally avoided everyone and hated to be seen in public. But you are being hard on yourself, your friends love you for you and don't judge you by your looks.

    You took the important first step to change yourself. Work hard, be true to yourself and you'll get to where you want to be!
  • Aquarian
    Aquarian Posts: 1,094 Member
    Having been both fat and thin in my life, I can tell you this - losing weight doesn't automatically make one feel better. I was extremely shy and diffident and suffered from terrible self esteem issues all through my teens and early twenties, when I was quite thin. I slowly built up confidence and self-esteem, and now even with my weight issue, I still am a happy and strong person inside.

    Be happy now, don't put it off till next year, or till reaching your goal weight, or whatever. Lose your weight for the sake of your health, not for the sake of your happiness. Think of all the good things about you and maybe that will help? You surely should have several good qualities or else you wouldn't be having good friends in your life, right? :)
  • jennychurchillcorcoran
    jennychurchillcorcoran Posts: 6
    pls pls pls reach out to ppl when you feel this way!!! i completely understand, after my second child i felt horrible about how i looked. i remember trying to buy clothes one day and had a small emotional breakdown in the dressing rm in front of the poor girl who worked there. i mean really....what do u do with that?? lol
    venting is good....it helps you realize how you are feeling at a given moment and gives you an outlet to get it out there and by doing that, getting over it. always vent when you need to, its healthy. and when you are finished venting get out and do something productive for YOU. exercise, meet friends (they are your best support!!) go outside the box a little. i know its tough to be in a situation that you find uncomfortable for what ever reason....but those are the times that you learn a little more about yourself, and thats a good thing. after the fact, think back on the situation and reflect about how you handled it. self confidence is sexy as hell (even if you have to fake it for a little while, lol) and ppl will see that.....and before long you will too. its not about size or any of those things. its about putting on a great pair of heels, do your hair and smile and laugh (ALOT).
    before long you will feel better....you will feel more comfortable in your own skin and i know that you will lose the weight that is making you feel as you are at times. we all have some confidence killers, thin or not thin.....its what you choose to do with it. ppl wont see the negative that we somehow always manage to see in ourselves. they will see the amazing, beautiful, self assurured hot chick that you are!!! believe in you first. the rest will follow. i promise.

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