Support or a Lobotomy Please

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obrendao
obrendao Posts: 318
in Motivation and Support
Life is presenting with so many challenges I don't now where to begin. I am a FT nursing student, mom to two little ones, have incredibly high stress, and to add on top of that I have some extreme hurt from someone close to me. Imagine every hurtful thing you can do to someone you purport to love, destroying all trust and creating immeasurable pain. Then compound this behavior over several years.

Some days I just want to give up. I am really trying here. I don't want to direct my hurt onto myself by doing unhealthy things. But that has been how I dealt in the past. Someone give me anything to keep my chin up, I could really use it!
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Replies

  • LaurySch
    LaurySch Posts: 277 Member
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    Love that your back up plan if no one supports you is so drastic! Made me pay attention!

    Good for you for picking up and moving on and for realizing that it's a 'whole life' thing and not just a 'weight' thing!

    I'd be glad to tell you to keep your chin up, otherwise people will focus on the whole double chin thing...:wink:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,022 Member
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    Does your school offer any counseling? I think it would be helpful to you to talk to some knowledgeable professional. Sometimes we just need a little help to sort things out.

    I hope you've ended the "relationship" with whoever it is that has been mistreating you.

    Good luck. Step away from the cupcakes. :flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I am kind of tired today, but thought I would stop and and tell you a lobotomy is NEVER the way to go. Sure the 'lob club' will tell you it is the only way to lose weight fast, but really is it worth it? Just cut the carbs and do some yoga instead:wink:

    As the mother of 3 grown children, I know what it is like to have little ones and work. I wish I had gone to school, but I did not. School is going to make things a lot easier down the road, but for now you need to find an outlet for stress. A yoga video, on line or net flix always seems to calm me down. depending on the kids ages, maybe they can 'play' with you!!

    I am with CM, if you are still with the abuser, get some counseling and get out. Do NOT think for a minute it is better to stay for the kids. They will tell you otherwise in 20 years!:flowerforyou:

    You are welcome to PM me if you like, if you want to chat or get things off your chest. I am not a professional, but have plenty of experience:wink:
  • ajrjaneway
    ajrjaneway Posts: 20 Member
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    Sorry to hear about your troubles. I remember going through similar times and it is so hard. Chocolate was my best friend and it was a struggle to make it from one day to the next. I am so sorry you have been hurt. If I could make it go away, I would do it in an instant.

    You are not alone and the best thing you can do it take care of yourself. Love yourself. We are here for you. You can add me as a friend if you want to.

    Take some time to be alone for a few minutes. Close your eyes and breathe slowly, in and out. Clear your mind of everything and just relax. All that other stuff is temporary and will not be important ten years from now.

    I believe in you. You can do it!
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    YOU are worth soooooo much more than the things that are and have happened to you. This is a mere bump in your journey to a better, happier healthier leaner you. Stop giving others ANY degree of power over you.

    Continue what you know is right and good. Fight the good fight and remember...this too shall pass
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    And that would be one of the ways I got so fat. Depression sucks. And it hurts. And it causes us to do things we normally wouldn't do, like look for happiness in the refrigerator. If you're able, find a professional to talk to. That weekly visit can do so much. If nothing else, it's 50 ,minutes a week all about you with no interruptions. When you want to eat or participate in some other negative behavior try getting up and moving instead. Take a walk, jump up and down, chase your kids in circles. Something that gets your body and your mind moving.

    And most importantly know that you are not alone.
  • lenoresaari
    lenoresaari Posts: 500 Member
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    Couldnt help but laugh with you on the Topic. i have felt that frustration many a time with my life, weight, finances, kids, work, self, relationships, etc; but was like that 20 years ago- nursing student with 2 under age 3 children- no money, high stress, the works. Nice to have met you. I dont have anything particularly unique to offer except similar past history and trying remember to
    "Easy does it" . I keep telling myself that.
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
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    Thanks for all the kind words. I will take up the offer to PM. I did get up and take kids to gym for a heavy upper body workout and i feel better. Hopefully I can make my life right again and not destroy all I've worked so hard for! Hugs!
  • Sharlene113
    Sharlene113 Posts: 52 Member
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    Girlfriend, I'm right there with you. PM me. FT final semester nursing school, stressed to the max, 3 kids at home, father-in-law had heart attack this morning, husband going off to Chicago leaving me to handle it all. I'm usually a stress eater and it's days like this when I'm home studying and being stressed when it's the worst. I'm absolutely 100% with you and here for you. YOU CAN do this! We're in this together. I was feeling really stressed this morning, packed up my school stuff for an hour and went downstairs to workout. Feeling much more energy and less stress right now. I'm glad you decided to make a positive, healthy choice there too. And whoever it was that hurt you, they better run because you're an amazing person and will come out on top!
  • jbieniek1
    jbieniek1 Posts: 1
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    Exercise is a definite mood booster! Some advice that I got from someone long ago was to try it for 10 minutes; if you don't feel better, don't continue. But it ALWAYS makes you feel better! It's a good thing to get addicted to. I have some pounds to re-lose (my pic is how I used to look -- trying to get there again), and stress had a lot to do with my weight gain. Sometimes you just have to be selfish.......find a way to work out for YOU. Eat healthy (even tho it's more expensive) for YOU. Screw the nay-sayers!!!! :)
  • kathyms13
    kathyms13 Posts: 497 Member
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    can i ask please, what is a lobotomy
  • lilacsun
    lilacsun Posts: 204 Member
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    I went through nursing school four years ago and had something horrendous happen while going. As a matter of fact the final blow was on graduation night about an hour before I walked. I gained a whopping 35 pounds from the stress and finally am working on getting the weight off for good. On top of it I'm actually thinking about going back. Sending a friend request.
  • LisajoeB
    LisajoeB Posts: 4
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    Stress is an awful thing..but it will pass (geez, I sound like my mother!)
    but seriously, I know it does, I've been there too.
    I pray you get through school with your brain intact :smile: It must be tough with 2 little ones.
    Keep your chin up - although it may not feel like it, you may have more support than you know!
  • lenoresaari
    lenoresaari Posts: 500 Member
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    you can and you will. .....
  • lenoresaari
    lenoresaari Posts: 500 Member
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    Could we be friends too? I am a nurse also-
  • k4evans1
    k4evans1 Posts: 145 Member
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    You got this! Do it for yourself and your kids. You are worth it and so are they :)
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    1, Stress is evil learn to get rid of it. Have a me moment doesn't matter where. Take a nap, shower, meditate do something to clear your mind out
    2, Learn your that your the most important person in your world. Since your the only person that can live your life.
    3, Learn to balance your time. Try to schedule your day ahead of time. Just do a rough guesstimate of everything to give your a general idea on how things will work out.
    4, Have your food log preplanned. Do the night before. A balanced log goes a log way to reducing stress with good.
    5, Exercise when you can. It helps lower stress and you'll feel so much better.
    6, When thirsty drink water. 10 cups a day and your kidneys will want to be your BFF.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    can i ask please, what is a lobotomy

    removal of a part of the brain
  • SarahAFerguson
    SarahAFerguson Posts: 250 Member
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    Some days when I'm so stressed I can bearly function I have to just take a few minutes and practice breathing. I seems silly and simplistic, but I've discovered that when I'm stressed I tend to breath shallow and it takes several tries to fully inflate my lungs. Of course this won't fix your hurts or lighten your load, but it does afford a little time for your body to relax a bit. Also, try to get the right amount of sleep if you can.
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
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    1, Stress is evil learn to get rid of it. Have a me moment doesn't matter where. Take a nap, shower, meditate do something to clear your mind out
    2, Learn your that your the most important person in your world. Since your the only person that can live your life.
    3, Learn to balance your time. Try to schedule your day ahead of time. Just do a rough guesstimate of everything to give your a general idea on how things will work out.
    4, Have your food log preplanned. Do the night before. A balanced log goes a log way to reducing stress with good.
    5, Exercise when you can. It helps lower stress and you'll feel so much better.
    6, When thirsty drink water. 10 cups a day and your kidneys will want to be your BFF.


    Thanks so much for these tips, I will try to keep these in mind as I begin each day. Its tough but I'll try.

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