HUMILIATED!!!!!!

1356

Replies

  • badfattitude
    badfattitude Posts: 54 Member
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    ROTFLMAO !!!!!!! That was so worth reading thru 3 pages of comments Losing2Live69.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Maybe view it as a compliment, he odviously does not see you as that size. Congrats on the loss so far

    ^ this!
  • LittleBallofFurr
    LittleBallofFurr Posts: 242 Member
    Wow! I feel for ya, nothing worse then that feeling where you are excited about your success and someone else shreds it. It is SO hard to loose weight and get it shape and stick to it. Im proud of you and so sorry you went through that. Things like that cut super deep!
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    Why feel humiliated when you're actually doing something about it? There's no need to feel bad until you give up on yourself.
  • MCproptart
    MCproptart Posts: 92 Member
    You should have responded like "yeah, they keep making that size since anything lower won't fit in all my awesomeness."

    I went from a 20 to 18, too. We rock. :flowerforyou:


    THIS!
  • wait_loss
    wait_loss Posts: 117 Member
    Maybe view it as a compliment, he odviously does not see you as that size. Congrats on the loss so far

    Coming from a guy. think of it that way. remember every women is either the size of our mothers or Marilyn Monroe which was a size 16 BTW.
    So yes please take it as the compliment. He obviously thought you were Marilyn. I have a large friend and I always think she is a 16 to 19 till we went shopping and out of respect let just say add on 8 to that. and xxxxl.
  • luvs2teachincali
    luvs2teachincali Posts: 207 Member
    It is SO TRUE that men don't understand women's sizes. When I met my husband I was wearing a size 16 but told him I was in a 14 because I was embarrassed about it. After we had our son I was a size 18 and I let it slip that I wished I could get back into my size 16's. Haha. He was so mad at me for lying to him. I was like c'mon how could you NOT know? Two years ago I wanted some new pajamas for Christmas. He bought me a pair and they were size L. I wear an XL. Luckily, the pants fit me but the top was too snug. I wore it once, before it was washed, and then told him it was TOO HOT to wear to bed... which was the truth. I'm a hot sleeper, I can't wear a long-sleeved flannel shirt to bed! I asked why he got me a Large and he said he thought I wore a large. At the time I was a little upset... like really? How can you NOT know your own wife's size? But now that I think about it, it really was a compliment. In HIS EYES I was/am beautiful and not that big. :D

    I'm sure that your bf just doesn't see your flaws like you do. We are our own biggest/worst critics. Rock on because you are owning it! :D
  • LCgymnast
    LCgymnast Posts: 258
    Oh no! Don't let it get you down. I understand though how one moment can just make you feel really sad or vulnerable no matter how confident we are. Let that moment be the inspiration behind what you want your goals to be. Keep pushing towards how you want to look! I'll add you for motivation!! You can do it girl.
  • LisaLouisiana
    LisaLouisiana Posts: 145 Member
    Just use it as motivation. He can't take it back so if he meant no harm, let it be water under the bridge....gone. What you do have control of is continuing to take the weight off. Do it for YOU!
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    He actually does have SOME clue as to what women sizes are, I talk about the plus size modeling industry a lot _ after this conversation he admitted he thought I was a 17 (does that exsist in jurnior sizes?) I told him womens clothes are in even numbers but yes he was close - but yeah - oh well
  • Tarek307
    Tarek307 Posts: 29
    if i was a realist i'd answer back saying BOO F'n HOO.... but i'm a nice guy and politically correct, so i'll say awwwwwww what a sad story!

    ps: forgot to add, you should be happy you lost 2 sizes, dont see what the problem is

    Proof men don't understand women's sizes......women know they go in increments of two......


    Good work Agatha Christie...you got us all figured out!
  • thinjustfabulous
    thinjustfabulous Posts: 30 Member
    shhh, men! some so them are sure insensitive!
    but you know what, it's okay, my husband used to tell me that i can't diet more than 1 week, or since i'm a mother, i can't never be slim n so on n so on....
    I just make that into motivation and prove him wrong.
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    Recently I went into a store and a woman who looked to be in her upper 20's grabbed the size she thought I needed. She even looked at multiple tags until she picked the one she handed me to try on. She grabbed a size 14! I had to chuckle a bit and quietly I just said, "actually I wear a 6."

    If a grown woman, in retail can get it wrong, don't worry too much about a male's understanding of sizes.
  • LupaNera
    LupaNera Posts: 170
    Men are just men they don't have a clue... mine knows my size but just screws up with other things... I am starting to believe that genetics is there. Nothing to do.. still little babies that often just don't realize that they are going to hurt, offend etc.
    They usually notice that's something wrong when you just turn grumpy, and not speaking to them anymore.. and at that moment they will start asking what's wrong.
    The important thing is that the he loves you.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
    Sounds like your BF is more clueless than hurtful. I wonder if he truly expected that women's pants are sized the way men's sizes are -- with an inch measurement for the waist. (Then, a size 20 really would be strange. In many brands, a size 20 in women's equate to about a 39-40 inch waist.)
    He loves you, and he's been with you as you've been losing, so I wouldn't stress it too much.
    Congratulations on your success so far and best wishes as you continue with your weight loss efforts!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Can't believe people are tearing up your bf on this. 20 IS a big size, it's an unhealthy size--that's why many of us our on here. I see it very much as not that your bf is dumb, but he doesn't SEE you as that size. I'm seeing a guy who sees his girlfriend as beautiful, and probably notices her weight loss more than herself, so that he's commenting on 20 because, well, guys don't generally know girl sizes, and that is a big size once they know.

    It might have hurt, but hell, your boyfriend sounds like a sweet guy since he felt so bad once you talked to him, and like I said, it definitely sounds like he doesn't view you as "big."
  • miznilknarf
    miznilknarf Posts: 9
    Men don't know anything about size. Once my husband talked about a former girlfriend and said she was a size 6. We ran into her and she was my size. I said, "Wow, she must have gained some weight!" and he looked at me all confused and goes, "No..." She was clearly a 14. Not a 6.
  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
    Maybe view it as a compliment, he odviously does not see you as that size. Congrats on the loss so far

    ^^^ THIS!
  • hiddenaudacity
    hiddenaudacity Posts: 122 Member
    Guys don't even know what womens sizes mean.....their sizing is all different. I heard on the radio about someone who thought that womens sizes were based on their age, so went to America (from Australia) and bought his g/f a bunch of size 20 Victoria's Secret bra's. She only needed size 10. We don't have Victorias Secret in Oz so he couldn't return them either. Hahaha! Silly boys.

    Also, you only make fun of something like that if you think the person your with has no chance of getting offended...meaning he doesn't think of you as large. So that's a good thing.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    try not to let numbers get to you. do you feel better?:flowerforyou:
  • gramanita53
    gramanita53 Posts: 4 Member
    You are losing this for yourself. You are doing awesome. A remark like that was innocent and yes it would hurt BUT think about where you have come from. You just keep up doing what you are doing. I have had people say that they don't notice that I have lost but I am the one that matters, not other people. Keep up the GREAT work.
  • toriaenator
    toriaenator Posts: 423 Member
    awwwww hun dont take it personally!!! guys are stupid when it comes to girls clothing; they just dont know anything about it! youve done great and you're boyfriend obviously thinks youre a hot mama anyways ;D i would kill for an *kitten*. just saying!

    <3
  • rjsimpson2002
    rjsimpson2002 Posts: 115 Member
    Maybe view it as a compliment, he odviously does not see you as that size. Congrats on the loss so far

    Definitely this!!! Men are often clueless about ladies sizes - that is a simple fact of life and you can't feel bad about it- beside you had sushi and any day with sushi can't be all bad :happy:
  • JLD81
    JLD81 Posts: 133 Member
    First, if you feel that your boyfriend is attracted to you and is mostly supportive (no offense to the men on here, but men are not ALWAYS supportive in the most appropriate ways, its just how they are wired, sometimes they forget they aren't talking to one of their buddies, and this is our fault too, because we are wired to be a little sensitive sometimes), then don't worry too much about it. Sometimes people we care about do not realize the power of the things they say. Remember, also, that when people hurt us, they are able to hurt us because we gave them the power to do so- meaning because we place value in the things they say and do, they are able to hurt us. If they continue to hurt us, then maybe that is when we have to re-evaluate to determine if they are worthy of that power.

    Second, size varies greatly. Don't let a tag or a number on the scale control you. If you are unhappy with where you are, then keep up your good work towards your goal. If you are happy then don't let it bother you. Rejoice in your daily accomplishments towards your goal and the positives about you. Try not to focus on the negatives. When someone says things that are detrimental to your self image or goal, your emotions are immediately going to sting and hurt. However, force your brain to talk you through letting it go, or you will continue to hear that negative thought for weeks or months. Focusing on this will only make you unhappy and be detrimental to what you are trying to achieve.

    Don't forget- clothes sizes are very variable. When I was at my smallest size I wore typically a size 6 to 8- however, I had everything in pants from a size 4 to a size 13 in my closet that fit. Clothing size is rather irrelevant. At this point I'm typically a size 10 but have one pair of size 14 dress pants because the way my shape is. I also have a dress size 3/4 that currently fits. The tag is not relevant but to our egos. Wear what looks good on you and makes you feel good. Tell your boyfriend it just means you have more junk in the trunk, which gives him more to kiss if he wants to act up :wink:
  • MarkAWhipple
    MarkAWhipple Posts: 77 Member
    It's funny how well we guys can speak with our feet in our mouth. I'm surprised anyone can understand a word we say...
  • PapaDunx
    PapaDunx Posts: 243
    Size 20 in the US is size 24 in the UK.
    Not that that is relevant.

    But I have no idea how women's clothes sizes work.
    I know what a typical UK size 8/1012/14 is, as I have had experience of this. My ex-g/f tried to get me to buy her underwear, so she showed me how to measure her chest .. well, it didnt quite work out immediately, but after a while, I saw (and measured ... and then measured again ... and once more to be sure - hey! I like to be sure).
    Ok, i still didnt buy her u/w but then I knew what it was all about.

    The guy was insensitive and probably didnt realise what he was saying.

    Teach him, then he will understand what you ladies have to do to find clothes. After, of course, you explain to him, how much of an inadvertent d1ck he was.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Can't believe people are tearing up your bf on this. 20 IS a big size, it's an unhealthy size--that's why many of us our on here. I see it very much as not that your bf is dumb, but he doesn't SEE you as that size. I'm seeing a guy who sees his girlfriend as beautiful, and probably notices her weight loss more than herself, so that he's commenting on 20 because, well, guys don't generally know girl sizes, and that is a big size once they know.

    It might have hurt, but hell, your boyfriend sounds like a sweet guy since he felt so bad once you talked to him, and like I said, it definitely sounds like he doesn't view you as "big."

    This, it is a big size, it's a size 24 here which you wouldn't even find in normal stores. But it's not his fault, he doesn't see you as that big so that's a bonus, the only way is down!!!! Keep up the good work!
  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
    Men have no concept of women's sizing at all.

    Maybe if women's sizing had any relevance to waist size, inseam, hip measurements, height, or any other actual mathematics, we'd have a better chance of understanding!!!
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    I'm sure he didn't mean it as an insult. Maybe he was legit surprised they went up that high? He obviously doesn't have an issue with your size if he's with you, so what's the big deal honestly?
  • Cheryl188
    Cheryl188 Posts: 113 Member
    I feel your pain. I'm not the type to get embarassed either. One day I was standing in line at the grocery store. I thought I was lookin cute that day with my frilly tanktop and capris. The lady behind me started lifting my laundry soap onto the counter for me while she said "You shouldn't be lifting heavy things. Let me help you." I thanked her and immediately realized she thought I was PREGNANT! I didn't say anything...no need for us both to be embarassed. I cried all the way home.

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