HUMILIATED!!!!!!

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  • crrc78
    crrc78 Posts: 207 Member
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    First, congrats on losing 25 lbs - that's truly fantastic.
    Second, I have this theory that has proven to be accurate about 934 times - BOYS ARE DUMB. GIRLS ARE CRAZY.
    Boys have no clue about women's sizes, nor do they understand the BS that we face every day.
    The worst sizing experience I ever had was with my own wedding gown - you'd think they could ditch the old pattern sizes (that make your size like x+6) and make the bride feel good about herself.

    I'm sure he felt like a total *kitten*. Be proud of yourself and keep moving in the right direction!
  • NancyG55
    NancyG55 Posts: 86
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    I know it hurt, but try to not let it get to you too bad. Bless'em, most men don't have a clue, and he was so remorseful for what he said to hurt you without knowing he did. Like someone else said, look at it as a compliment since he obviously didn't see you in a "big" size in his eyes. Numbers will keep going down, so just keep on keeping on!
  • SFBarbear
    SFBarbear Posts: 146
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    I wouldn't let it get to you. Men don't really understand the woman's system of numbers. There system is way different from ours.

    Exactly, we are men and aren''t supposed to know that stuff, unless your a clothing designer.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I see you've said that you talk about plus sized modeling a lot, but that still doesn't mean he gets how sizes work. If he thought you were a 17, he may have thought a 20 is three sizes up from that. I've mentioned my size to my husband before, and he didn't remember. And our sizes are so arbitrary. When he wanted to know if he was right, I had to explain that it depends on the store and the age range (kids, juniors, or adults.)
  • GIDGEFIT7
    GIDGEFIT7 Posts: 9
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    Darn. I wish you had made a comeback at that moment by stating 'And still sexy, right?'. Before I started losing weight (-10 lbs so far) I did make that comeback remark to someone instead of letting myself get upset. All the male could do was say 'YES indeed'. He's just a friend & my husband thinks I look nice no matter my size. Just remember you are a lovely woman & you'll only get lovelier as you reach the goal you have set for yourself.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • jrwatson87
    jrwatson87 Posts: 66
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    "That's my size. Talk ****, get hit" and be done with it.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
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    Focus on the weight you did lose and the prize you will get when you reach your goal. I CAN happen. It happened for me at age 50 when everyone around me told me to give up this just happens when you get old. I had lots of bad experiences in my 15 years of being obese. I'm glad I never gave up.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    PS: If it helps, he probably feels pretty bad and embarrassed himself. Nothing worse than making a cutting remark and hurting the person you care about. It's like talking about someone and realizing she's standing right behind you.
  • jammet80
    jammet80 Posts: 96 Member
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    Oh Honey! That stinks! I would feel crappy too! But I am so sue that it was simply his ignorance. You know how men are! He obviously finds you beautiful and attractive! And you've already lost a size! Great job! Try to put it behind you, you're beautiful!
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    Is this a life style change/ slimming site or a let us all insult men site? I for one man am sick of seeing men are idiots posts. Men are not idiots, some men are insensitive some are not bright, but calling all men idiots is abuse, I for one am going to start watching posts and will bug the life out of reporting each time anyone puts men are idiots or suchlike until the posting rules are changed to state it is wrong. If I posted all women are stupid I would soon be getting a warning from the admins. But I do understand the point made by the OP, it was a daft thing to say.
    This is completely OT, and I am inclined to agree, but

    Is that a TARDIS you're standing in front of? :O
  • BuckwheatsMomma
    BuckwheatsMomma Posts: 32 Member
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    I guess I am missing something!

    Why do you (and others) take it as being something he intended to do to humiliate you!

    Why would he do that?

    Some me simply think in honest terms, and although saying you are a size 20 to him may have only meant that he guessed the correct size! He must like it! Would it have made you feel better if he had said you were a aize10? He was just being real!

    Honey, if all it takes to bring your self esteem down is what this man said to you then you are in bad shape. If this is true then you need to gain some self esteem in addition to losing some weight.

    Apparently he likes you! Stop being so sensitive~
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
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    Date older men who aren't as insensitive and immature.


    This also :)

    You are kidding right, date men who aren't as insensitive and immature, yes maybe..older doesn't always mean that, it just means they have a lot more experience at being insensitive and immature.

    I dont really understand why its so upsetting really, I have no concept of what an american size 20 is so maybe thats why I dont understand why its so self asteem destroying! You are the size you are, you are working on changing it.

    I don't see how what he said was insensitive or immature at all.
    It was just a little slip up.
  • stagknight
    stagknight Posts: 130 Member
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    Is this a life style change/ slimming site or a let us all insult men site? I for one man am sick of seeing men are idiots posts. Men are not idiots, some men are insensitive some are not bright, but calling all men idiots is abuse, I for one am going to start watching posts and will bug the life out of reporting each time anyone puts men are idiots or suchlike until the posting rules are changed to state it is wrong. If I posted all women are stupid I would soon be getting a warning from the admins. But I do understand the point made by the OP, it was a daft thing to say.
    This is completely OT, and I am inclined to agree, but

    Is that a TARDIS you're standing in front of? :O

    I might be a man but I never said I was from this planet. :) As Author John Gray said in his book title, women are from Venus, men are from Mars.
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
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    I'm wondering what happened to the "Yes I AM fat" 'don't sugar coat it' attitude.

    you're the second person to make that comment and I'll give you the same reply - there is a difference between knowing and accepting i'm fat (which he does with a grace that I deeply appreciate) and there is being surprise that it's possible for people to exist that are as fat as me.
    But that's not what he said. He said he didn't realize clothes went up to size 20. That's it. He didn't say a size 20 was huge or that you were huge. He didn't say he was surprised people could be as fat as you. YOU'RE putting those words into his mouth. You just said he knows and accepts that you're fat. So what if he's clueless about a size 20? It doesn't matter because he loves you just the way you are.

    Sure, it was kind of brainless to open his mouth and express the thought, but I'm sure it wasn't out of malice. Chalk it up to something ill-timed and let it go. You have a guy who loves you very much, just the way you are, and it's obvious he was just having a foot-in-mouth moment.
  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
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    I'm wondering what happened to the "Yes I AM fat" 'don't sugar coat it' attitude.

    you're the second person to make that comment and I'll give you the same reply - there is a difference between knowing and accepting i'm fat (which he does with a grace that I deeply appreciate) and there is being surprise that it's possible for people to exist that are as fat as me.
    But that's not what he said. He said he didn't realize clothes went up to size 20. That's it. He didn't say a size 20 was huge or that you were huge. He didn't say he was surprised people could be as fat as you. YOU'RE putting those words into his mouth. You just said he knows and accepts that you're fat. So what if he's clueless about a size 20? It doesn't matter because he loves you just the way you are.

    Sure, it was kind of brainless to open his mouth and express the thought, but I'm sure it wasn't out of malice. Chalk it up to something ill-timed and let it go. You have a guy who loves you very much, just the way you are, and it's obvious he was just having a foot-in-mouth moment.

    Isn't it a good thing that he had no idea you were anywhere near a 20? I am confused about what is humiliating about any of this.

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