Honest opinions needed

Options
amandager
amandager Posts: 49 Member
in Chit-Chat
My sister is getting married next month. My boyfriend and I have talked and are ready for the next step, but we want to be respectful and not "steal her spotlight" and are not planning on becoming engaged until after her wedding, which she appreciates. However, she doesn't seem to like the fact that we still want to move forward with a wedding next spring, she thinks it's to close to when he is getting married. I'm confused and don't see her logic. Should I put my happiness on hold for her when she will have already had her moment? Is there anything wrong with doing it so closely after? Am I being inconsiderate? I know this can go either way depending on the person so I am open to all feedback. Thank you!!!
«13

Replies

  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
    Options
    She's being ridiculous. She may calm down after her wedding, though.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Options
    Next spring is fine. You'll have MONTHS in between the weddings. Her day is her day -- once the wedding is over, she needs o let the attention move on and live her life.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    Options
    Yeah, she's probably just in bridezilla mode. As long as you wait until after her wedding (and honeymoon) and let them get all settled down, she most likely won't care any more! If you guys are ready you deserve to take that step :)
  • 2012Mich
    2012Mich Posts: 93
    Options
    I think it's wonderful that you are respecting her and not getting engaged in the middle of her moment. But I think it's unreasonable for her to ask you to postpone your intentions of getting married.
  • Alarista
    Alarista Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    She should be grateful you are waiting to get engaged officially. It seems fine, she gets her "day" not her decade
  • xo_Sarah_xo
    xo_Sarah_xo Posts: 308 Member
    Options
    So she has become a "Bridezilla" it seems. I think it is very considerate of you and your boyfriend to wait until after her wedding to get engaged. You should totally enjoy her "big day" next month and congratulate her appropriately. You should then do what YOU need to do...and that is do what makes YOU happy. Does she generally try to dictate your life or is this a first???

    Overall, I think she is being a bit of a bully and after her wedding then you should completely ignore her opinion on this matter.

    Good luck and congratulations TO YOU for finding that special someone...:wink:
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    IMO, she doesn't own the 6 months before and after her wedding.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Options
    I think it's wonderful that you are respecting her and not getting engaged in the middle of her moment. But I think it's unreasonable for her to ask you to postpone your intentions of getting married.

    This exactly.
  • xo_Sarah_xo
    xo_Sarah_xo Posts: 308 Member
    Options
    So she has become a "Bridezilla" it seems. I think it is very considerate of you and your boyfriend to wait until after her wedding to get engaged. You should totally enjoy her "big day" next month and congratulate her appropriately. You should then do what YOU need to do...and that is do what makes YOU happy. Does she generally try to dictate your life or is this a first???

    Overall, I think she is being a bit of a bully and after her wedding then you should completely ignore her opinion on this matter.

    Good luck and congratulations TO YOU for finding that special someone...:wink:
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    Options
    I think she's being selfish and ridiculous. Your wedding will be about 6 months away if she's getting married next month and yours next spring. IMO, from what you have stated she sounds like she doesn't care about your happiness, and if she's saying your selfish to have a wedding that soon because she wants to be in the spotlight, is she REALLY in love with the man she's marrying, because if she was, then you getting married in 6 months from now wouldn't be that big of a deal.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    Do what you two want to do. It's not up to her when you get married.
  • selig0730
    selig0730 Posts: 509 Member
    Options
    you should announce it a month after the wedding and at least 3 months after the wedding so this way she still get the spotlight but after that its ok...she doesnt own the next 6 months and more
  • amandager
    amandager Posts: 49 Member
    Options
    So she has become a "Bridezilla" it seems. I think it is very considerate of you and your boyfriend to wait until after her wedding to get engaged. You should totally enjoy her "big day" next month and congratulate her appropriately. You should then do what YOU need to do...and that is do what makes YOU happy. Does she generally try to dictate your life or is this a first???

    Overall, I think she is being a bit of a bully and after her wedding then you should completely ignore her opinion on this matter.

    Good luck and congratulations TO YOU for finding that special someone...:wink:

    This is a first. She has never tried to dictate my life which I even more surprising.
  • waronmyfat
    waronmyfat Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    can you say bride zilla ... just do what you want who cares what your sister says get married when you want !
  • emmie0622
    emmie0622 Posts: 167 Member
    Options
    I think it's wonderful that you are respecting her and not getting engaged in the middle of her moment. But I think it's unreasonable for her to ask you to postpone your intentions of getting married.

    Totally Agree!
  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
    Options
    IMO, she doesn't own the 6 months before and after her wedding.

    Agreed. You are holding off your engagement until after her wedding, she shouldn't dictate when you get married.
  • WickedBean
    WickedBean Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    I think it's wonderful that you are respecting her and not getting engaged in the middle of her moment. But I think it's unreasonable for her to ask you to postpone your intentions of getting married.
    Yup this. You are respecting her by not getting engaged until after her wedding, and by waiting until next spring you have plenty of time between weddings.
  • heddylyn
    heddylyn Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    My younger sister got married 3 and a half months after me and it didn't bother me. My parents on the other hand were a little strapped for cash that year. :laugh: My older sister announced her engagement at my college graduation party, that annoyed me a bit but what can you do? It sounds like you are trying to be respectful and fall vs. spring is plenty of time between weddings in my opinion.
  • bizorra
    bizorra Posts: 151 Member
    Options
    You are the best sister ever for even taking "her spotlight" in to account!
    I'd say just be respectful of how stressed out she's going to be and just not talk about it with her until after her day.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Options
    So she has become a "Bridezilla" it seems. I think it is very considerate of you and your boyfriend to wait until after her wedding to get engaged. You should totally enjoy her "big day" next month and congratulate her appropriately. You should then do what YOU need to do...and that is do what makes YOU happy. Does she generally try to dictate your life or is this a first???

    Overall, I think she is being a bit of a bully and after her wedding then you should completely ignore her opinion on this matter.

    Good luck and congratulations TO YOU for finding that special someone...:wink:

    This is a first. She has never tried to dictate my life which I even more surprising.
    Then she's probably just got the bride crazies -- if it were me, I'd just not mention it anymore, and continue to make my plans. If she's not normally a control freak, she'll probably calm down about it after the wedding.

Categories