The feeling of physical inadequacy.

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madelonism
madelonism Posts: 292 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I just wanted to know anyone is in the same boat as me. I happen to have an amazing and gorgeous boyfriend. he is genuinely attracted to me and is all happy and good but I have this issue, it sucks and i hate it. he has a perfect body, 3% body fat muscular sexiness and i just cant stand thinking about how i look in comparison! its stupid, im being stupid. but i get weird about him looking at me during intimate times, and i know he hates it when i think he dosnt think im good enough to be with him etc.

so anyone dating a very in shape person wile being basically the exact opposite body type? btw hes not a "chubby chaser" and I know damn good and well he thinks anne hathaway is super fine. lol. but he said he dosnt care that im overweight because im beautiful the way i am anyway and i have motivation to be healthy- which he admires.

heres a photo so you can see what im talking about.

Photo0325.jpg

Replies

  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
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    this example is a bit exaggerated. I know for a fact my back boobs are gone now and the shirt is making me look very apple shaped (i am hourglass/spoon shape.)
  • blonde20fan
    blonde20fan Posts: 233 Member
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    That's how I felt when I met my now husband 12 years ago. I out weighted him by 40 pounds and he is a foot taller than me. He never made me feel fat or ugly, in act he made me feel amazing! Now that I lost weight and he weights more than I do I feel better about myself which he loves too! We just have to learn to see ourselves though their eyes. They don't really care about our weight or looks. They care about what's inside! You are beautiful to him!!
  • Pimpmonkey
    Pimpmonkey Posts: 566
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    I kinda understand where you're coming from as far as feelings go. I love the crap out of myself, but sometimes I think my old man must need glasses or something, because he finds me sexy. I know it's goofy but that's just the way I feel.
  • Eureka175
    Eureka175 Posts: 77 Member
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    Hi there
    I peeked at your profile and pics, and you look like a real fun person to be around! Although I can fully understand your feelings of physical inadequacy, I'm sure you know there is more to a person than their weight. You've already lost 66lbs - way to go! As you loose more and become healthier, I am sure you will feel sexy instead of inadequate - so keep at this for yourself! Good luck.
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
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    I kinda understand where you're coming from as far as feelings go. I love the crap out of myself, but sometimes I think my old man must need glasses or something, because he finds me sexy. I know it's goofy but that's just the way I feel.

    see mine DOES have glasses and hes still like *wink wink nudge nudge* lol
  • cherylache
    cherylache Posts: 1
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    If you and your boyfriend have a history of honest communication, then you've gotta believe him when he tells you he's into you! No reason why he can't enjoy your ample curves :o)
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
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    I was 185lbs when I first started this at 5'5.
    My hubby is 6'2 230lbs, all muscle just about with a tad bit of padding on his tummy, but u kno what I mean. He is so strong he can lift the tail end of cars off the ground. I've never outweighed him, but I've gotten close. When we met, I wasn't that big. I was ab 140lbs or so, in a size 8/10 pants. But some things happened in my life & put on the lbs b4 we got married & ended up in a size 16 wedding dress. I always wondered why he still wanted me, but to this day, 59lbs later, he will not tell me that I was ever fat or overweight. He loves me just the way I am & I am truly lucky to have someone like him. Consider urself lucky too.
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
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    If you and your boyfriend have a history of honest communication, then you've gotta believe him when he tells you he's into you! No reason why he can't enjoy your ample curves :o)

    that is true. lol. he quite enjoys. sometimes i just cant see why. BUT im getting better. so it will be all good.
  • econut2000
    econut2000 Posts: 395 Member
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    I can kinda relate a little :laugh: . A very good male friend is in extremely great shape and also happens to be very cute. When him and I go out together we get stared at like you wouldn't believe. You can just read on people's faces that we don't belong together. When we were out shopping one day, a cashier even asked if we were related as in, there's no way he would be out with YOU otherwise! I feel like absolute crap when that happens.

    My fiance, happens to be overweight, but when I see pics of the two of us, I realize even though he outweighs me, I think I'm bigger around! That does make me feel bad - much worse than the public stares when I'm out with my friend. And yes, he does know about my friend, and yes, we all get along :tongue:

    You are adorable and you must have worked super hard for those 66lbs!!! When you're feeling inferior, just think of all the hard work you've put in :smile: Good luck!
  • stillthesamegirl
    stillthesamegirl Posts: 112 Member
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    i use to feel like this with my boyfriend.. He's super fit and I couldn't believe that he could ACTUALLY find me attractive because I didn't find myself attractive.. It was a major issue in the beginning of our relationship because I was so embarrassed to show him my body that it really bothered him. I finally realized after he saw every part of my body that I hate and was actually attracted to it. He made me feel perfect. That's what I needed, because in the past I would try and lose weight for guys, not for myself. Now that I know I have someone who truly loves me big or small, I can focus of doing what I want for myself. You should know your boyfriend absolutely adores you just the way you are. If he didn't he would go be with some skinny chick. THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WANTS! HE WANTS YOU!!!
  • Jonahisout
    Jonahisout Posts: 31
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    I can tell that your bf's on that p90x!
    regardless, when you find someone that loves you for who you are regardless of how you look, that's a keeper.
  • lookingforsomething
    lookingforsomething Posts: 86
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    Yep all the time. Until recently my husband was about 120 lbs lighter than I was and I hated going in public with him. I was embarrassed for him to be seen with me.

    Before we were married and I hadn't met some of his friends yet I even missed his best friends wedding cause I didn't want his friends knowing he was with "the fat chick"

    Now some of his friends are still here and some are gone but I'm still here - so there must be something in this!
    He picked you for a reason - your smile, personality, laugh, the way you make him at himself, who knows why - but he picked you - that's all that matters.
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
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    I completely understand this!! My ex and I were the exact same way. He rode his bike for miles every day and did Capoeira weekly --talk about fit! At the time, I was vegetarian but I still didn't eat right or exercise much. We had a lot of problems in that relationship, but weight never ended up being one of them :) We were both crazy attracted to each other and the sex was amazing (sorry if that's tmi lol) so I know that you feel uncomfortable about it but don't. If it doesn't bother him, don't let it bother you! :D
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
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    I can tell that your bf's on that p90x!
    regardless, when you find someone that loves you for who you are regardless of how you look, that's a keeper.

    lol actually hes a martial arts instructor. but close enough. :D
  • eviegreen
    eviegreen Posts: 123 Member
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    I totally know how you feel. My husband is incredibly fit -- plays regional sports, goes to the gym often. When we first began dating, he had a different activity every day of the week. Wrestling, football, soccer, volleyball, hockey, baseball. He's never, ever made me feel fat, but I definitely felt inadequate next to him. He's incredibly lean and muscular, and I was somewhere near your shape in that picture, actually!

    Since we've been together, I've always weighed more. I've never told him that, but it's true. Since losing the weight, he weighs more than me now, but I still have the last leg of my journey left. I know it won't immediately fix the way I feel when standing next to him, but I hope it helps.
  • HeatherPH
    HeatherPH Posts: 125 Member
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    lol actually hes a martial arts instructor. but close enough. :D

    Totally off-topic, but what kind of martial arts does he do? I do shotokan karate and it looks a lot like this (or taikwondo). Tell him I said it's an awesome kick!

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