The way I look Thick or Thin

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loveYOUmore319
loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
in Success Stories
I am 5 foot 9 inches and I got down to 161 a few months back from 181 and I absolutely loved it! What I didn't love is all the negativity from my family and friends on how I looked. They said I looked anorexic or that I looked like I was doing drugs. I told them that they are just so used to seeing me plump but when you see how their face looks so disgusted when they look at you or like they think you might have some type of illness really made me feel self conscious. But I felt so much better in my clothes and my PT (physical training... I'm a soldier) was so much better that I improved all my PT scores and earned a PT Patch. But still everyone's comments were haunting me in the back of my mind. Unfortunately I got up to 172.8 and decided to get back on MFP and try to lose this weight again no matter what anyone else thinks. Oh and may I add that I have always been considered overweight by the Army weight standards but this time I wasn't and I loved that!

So my question is all how do you all deal with people's criticism on how you look after your weight loss. Do you have negative criticism or positive influences. Honestly the only positive influence I have in my life for weight loss is MFP. Sad but true. Stories? Comments?
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Replies

  • pooleekylie
    pooleekylie Posts: 103
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    Firstly, I looked at your photos and you look amazing. Don't ever let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.

    As for how to deal with criticism--you don't have to deal with anything. The way I see it, it's your eyes that have to look in the mirror everyday. If you like what you see then it doesn't make a difference what anyone else sees. How much do others' opinions of you really influence your own self-worth? For many people the answer is a great amount, but I don't think it should account for anything. My best advice is to be impervious to any negative comments and revel in the good ones.

    Ever since I started lifting weights I've had to listen to a thousand comments from family about how I'm going to end up looking gross. My boyfriend has flat-out told me that the veins that stick out in my arms are disgusting. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. I think they're cool, so I'm going to keep lifting.

    Anyway, you're lovely don't let anyone drag you down. And thank you for your service!
  • melodiclyrics
    melodiclyrics Posts: 82 Member
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    Look at most of your friends and family - do you find they're overweight? If so, it could be kind of a culture shock for them to have a "thin" person in their midst. They may also be uncomfortable because it highlights their personal struggle with weight loss. A lot of people can be negative/critical when they're jealous or they feel discomfort (because it highlights their lack of success in the same area).

    All you can do is what is best for you. If your PT scores improved - awesome! If you felt better - AWESOME. What matters is what you think, because it's YOUR body, not theirs. It's not okay for them to say those things to you - it's not like you would ever fire back and say "well, you look fat and bloated, etc etc."

    I would evaluate the friends you have if they can't be supportive of the lifestyle change you have made. Family is more difficult, but you just have to tell them that you're not doing it for them, you're doing it for you.

    Good luck!
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
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    I find that when people react negatively to me they are usually overweight as well and I think maybe a little bit of the "green-eyed monster" lurks in those statements. The key here is that *you* felt better and felt your life was improved...and that is all that matters. Your family will eventually come around, if not, that is their issue...not yours! Do what is right for you! And also...thank you for your service :flowerforyou:
  • newhabit
    newhabit Posts: 426 Member
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    you look great. i just checked out your pictures. you look very fit and healthy. are a lot of the people in your family used to seeing overweight people? if they are, they may find someone who is healthy and fit to look too small for them. i hear that a lot too from people who are overweight and have no desire to change. but i am in a healthy weight range for my height so i don't let it bother me. i'd rather look like i do now than gain back the extra fat to make someone else happy.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    If find it hard to believe you look anything but awesome. I'm 5'11 and 147 and I don't look "anorexic or on drugs". You have to find the weight you are happy with. The weight that you feel great at. I every once in awhile get the "too thin" comments from people that got used to me at 170-180 but I typically ignore them because I know I'm healthy.
  • MuddyEquestrian
    MuddyEquestrian Posts: 366 Member
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    The only usual negative reactions I get are from people who are either overweight or very unhealthy and unhappy with themselves. I just try to remind myself that this is for ME, and not to please other people. You look amazing, and you're HEALTHY, that's all that matters.
  • Rennae9
    Rennae9 Posts: 61 Member
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    Well.... I am about to go visit my family. They are all over weight except my Dad. I have lost 26lbs and I know for a fact I will hear the comments of, "Oh you can't loose much more weight!"

    Sadly I have my replies already thought out. They will begin something like this, "Well I am pretty sure you think I am to skinny because you are all overweight. The majority of the people around you are also. Therefore seeing someone who exercises every day and eats healthy is going to be a bit strange to you."

    I might just provide my BMI my BMR and maybe my TDEE for them and print out my journals from MFP so they can actually see how much I do eat. (smiles evil grin) I am eating at about 1800 calories a day. I am close to my goal so loosing less than half a pound a week is fine by me.

    I am not sure if your family is overweight or not but I know that is the reason why I get such negativity from some of my family. I just read what I wrote and can't believe my family is like that. In reality it is usually just the two overweight sisters who say the things about getting to skinny. I think sadly it is a jealous issue. ( And no I am not one of those skinny *****es who think they are better than everyone either..)

    Go for what you want! I have my goals set and I will achieve them regardless of the negativity of my family.
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    Firstly, I looked at your photos and you look amazing. Don't ever let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.

    As for how to deal with criticism--you don't have to deal with anything. The way I see it, it's your eyes that have to look in the mirror everyday. If you like what you see then it doesn't make a difference what anyone else sees. How much do others' opinions of you really influence your own self-worth? For many people the answer is a great amount, but I don't think it should account for anything. My best advice is to be impervious to any negative comments and revel in the good ones.

    Ever since I started lifting weights I've had to listen to a thousand comments from family about how I'm going to end up looking gross. My boyfriend has flat-out told me that the veins that stick out in my arms are disgusting. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. I think they're cool, so I'm going to keep lifting.

    Anyway, you're lovely don't let anyone drag you down. And thank you for your service!

    Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I really shouldn't let them influence me. But your right! I'm gonna do what's right for me regardless of what anyone says.
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    Look at most of your friends and family - do you find they're overweight? If so, it could be kind of a culture shock for them to have a "thin" person in their midst. They may also be uncomfortable because it highlights their personal struggle with weight loss. A lot of people can be negative/critical when they're jealous or they feel discomfort (because it highlights their lack of success in the same area).

    All you can do is what is best for you. If your PT scores improved - awesome! If you felt better - AWESOME. What matters is what you think, because it's YOUR body, not theirs. It's not okay for them to say those things to you - it's not like you would ever fire back and say "well, you look fat and bloated, etc etc."

    I would evaluate the friends you have if they can't be supportive of the lifestyle change you have made. Family is more difficult, but you just have to tell them that you're not doing it for them, you're doing it for you.

    Good luck!

    Yes indeed alot of them are overweight and eat like crap!! I felt amazing at 161 and I'm not gonna let them influence me and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong when in all actuality I'm not. I have voiced that I want to get down to 155 and so many people are pretty much screaming at me NO! Ya know? My mom has diabetes and high blood pressure and I don't want that. Oh and yes she is overweight too. When I came back from Iraq (even though I was 168) I had high blood pressure and I knew I needed to do better for myself.
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    I find that when people react negatively to me they are usually overweight as well and I think maybe a little bit of the "green-eyed monster" lurks in those statements. The key here is that *you* felt better and felt your life was improved...and that is all that matters. Your family will eventually come around, if not, that is their issue...not yours! Do what is right for you! And also...thank you for your service :flowerforyou:

    Your absolutely right!! That's their issue! Not mine! Thank you for the positivity!
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    you look great. i just checked out your pictures. you look very fit and healthy. are a lot of the people in your family used to seeing overweight people? if they are, they may find someone who is healthy and fit to look too small for them. i hear that a lot too from people who are overweight and have no desire to change. but i am in a healthy weight range for my height so i don't let it bother me. i'd rather look like i do now than gain back the extra fat to make someone else happy.

    Thank you. I think they might be used to looking at overweight people. I've said I'm in a healthy weight range and they always say that it's not accurate or that's not for regular people. I look at them in confusion. Ya know? I'm gonna keep doing what I want to do and that is to get to 155 and be healthy.
  • nikkishai
    nikkishai Posts: 407 Member
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    Honey, all that matters is how you feel about yourself. Period. If others' comments are not supportive or constructive, then it's just noise that should be ignored. Just smile and nod, and keep doing you boo boo!
  • MamaBearRoars
    MamaBearRoars Posts: 11 Member
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    You look great to me! not sickly or anything like that!
  • gabriellejayde
    gabriellejayde Posts: 607 Member
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    A couple of years ago, I had lost 100lbs. I was in the hospital to get my gall bladder removed, and my best friend came to visit me. We have always both been overweight. She said that she was worried about me, because I looked anorexic.

    I'm 5'5" and I weighed 148lbs.

    I said I'd be the heaviest anorexic and that she's just not used to seeing me thin.

    So now she's had gastric bypass and has lost something like 130lbs. At first, I looked at her pictures and thought she looked terrible, but then I realized she looks great... I'm just not used to it and if i met her for the first time, I'd think she was thin and beauitiful.
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    If find it hard to believe you look anything but awesome. I'm 5'11 and 147 and I don't look "anorexic or on drugs". You have to find the weight you are happy with. The weight that you feel great at. I every once in awhile get the "too thin" comments from people that got used to me at 170-180 but I typically ignore them because I know I'm healthy.

    I love to hear from women who are as tall as me or taller!! You have 2 inches on me and you are 147! That gives me hope!! Thank you!
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    Honey, all that matters is how you feel about yourself. Period. If others' comments are not supportive or constructive, then it's just noise that should be ignored. Just smile and nod, and keep doing you boo boo!

    I love it!! Thank you so much!! I sure will!!
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    You look great to me! not sickly or anything like that!

    Thank you so much!! That makes me feel better because of course I question myself.
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    A couple of years ago, I had lost 100lbs. I was in the hospital to get my gall bladder removed, and my best friend came to visit me. We have always both been overweight. She said that she was worried about me, because I looked anorexic.

    I'm 5'5" and I weighed 148lbs.

    I said I'd be the heaviest anorexic and that she's just not used to seeing me thin.

    So now she's had gastric bypass and has lost something like 130lbs. At first, I looked at her pictures and thought she looked terrible, but then I realized she looks great... I'm just not used to it and if i met her for the first time, I'd think she was thin and beauitiful.

    Exactly!! Now if I can just get everyone else to get used to it. Well, regardless they are gonna have to cuz I'm gonna keep on my mission to get to 155. Thank you for the support.
  • MFPBONNIE
    MFPBONNIE Posts: 94 Member
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    I hate sounding mean but I've been in this world a long time, a lot of the comments are made from jealousy of how dam good a person looks.
  • loveYOUmore319
    loveYOUmore319 Posts: 79 Member
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    Thank you so much for all the positive support and by the way did I mention that all of you look amazing!! It's the negative criticism messes with your mind and sometimes gets you to think that maybe you are too skinny and sick. I didn't have anyone to really talk to about this with because they all are pretty much against my weight loss. Thank you for reassuring me to keep going. :)

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