The way I look Thick or Thin
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i can relate to everything you're saying - i'm also 5'9" and 160 and i went through a rough period when i was having to deal with all of the criticism after losing 60 lbs.. there is nothing i can say that hasn't already been posted -- just hang tough and this will eventually pass over time when people get used to seeing the new you.
(on a side note, i don't tell others that i want to lose more weight. they tend to flip out if i say anything, so i just keep it to myself. i hate that i don't get to share that with anyone, however it's just best that i keep those fitness goals private..but that's for another thread.)0 -
I hate sounding mean but I've been in this world a long time, a lot of the comments are made from jealousy of how dam good a person looks.
That's not mean. That's real! Thank you for the support.0 -
If find it hard to believe you look anything but awesome. I'm 5'11 and 147 and I don't look "anorexic or on drugs". You have to find the weight you are happy with. The weight that you feel great at. I every once in awhile get the "too thin" comments from people that got used to me at 170-180 but I typically ignore them because I know I'm healthy.
I love to hear from women who are as tall as me or taller!! You have 2 inches on me and you are 147! That gives me hope!! Thank you!
In which case hello! I'm 5ft 10 in and weight 158 ish. I was up to 165 which was big for me... Would like to get under 150lb, but I'm muscley!
I love this!! Thank you so much for the height comparison!! It shows that weight looks perfectly normal on our frames.0 -
I'm 5"11" and currently in the 170s and my goal is the mid 150s because that's where I look my best and when I hit my goal size of 6. I have a small frame, so the 170s are a bit much.
My arms and legs are thin and I carry my excess fat from my waist to my upper thighs. Outside of this site, my mom and a couple of friends are the only ones I talk about my fitness goals because I'm sick of hearing, "But you're so skinny already" and "Are you trying to be anorexic?" These people don't see me naked, so they have no idea. I just keep it to myself because I don't feel like arguing and nor do I need to justify my goals to the ignorant.
Literally all of my family members are overweight and many of them have diabetes and/or hypertension. My friends and coworkers aren't great shakes either when it comes to their diets and physical condition. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's the truth. Why would I listen to any of them with regard to exercise and fitness? It would be like listening to investment advice from a broke person.0 -
I get the same "disgusted" looks from my family. I'm 5'7 and weigh 160lbs... I feel great. I feel better in my clothes. ...I just feel GREAT. They're just not used to seeing me "healthy". They're used to seeing me overweight. Before I joined MFP, I weighed in at a hefty 240 lbs. Obviously it was a drastic change. But, anorexic? Really?
You look amazing! Don't let it get to you. People will talk... No matter what. But remember, its only talk. Keep doing what you're doing.0 -
I think people's reactions are based on the fear that you are changing and won't be the same person to them. Not just how you look but the whole package. Once they realize that you are still their friend/sister/daughter with the same personality only in a new, healthier package the comments will stop.
I would just have a canned response like "Gosh really? I am eating enough calories, getting good exercise and I'm a healthy weight." And then leave it at that. If they continue just smile at them and don't say anything. It's hard to carry on a one sided conversation.
I also think that when you lose weight you tend to show it in your face more and then once you start stabilizing your face fills out a little bit more and you don't look quite as gaunt.
And I'll just add that you do look fabulous!0 -
Congrats.0
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While I was outside & my husband ^ came & logged in, but I didn't realize it...I had to edit, so that's why the one word comment. Sorry about that.
Here's what I wanted to say...
Well I think you look great! I agree with others that "naysayers" were used to seeing you heavier, and perhaps there's a bit of jealousy behind the comments. I was wearing something last weekend that was quite form-fitting and my mother, who sees me all the time, commented that I looked "sooo skinny" & then followed that complement by calling me "a little ****"...as if I lost weight to somehow hurt her! Go figure!
In the end, it really is up to you. If they see that it bothers you, the comments will probably continue. If you say something like, "I've put in a lot of work to get these results" then maybe they will ease up. Maybe just smile & say thanks! That will really catch them off guard! I'll bet these same folks are quick to give you kuddos for your military service...which is well deserved. They just need to realize that you worked hard to deserve this new body as well.
Remember how you felt when you were uncomfortable, and how much better you feel now. It's all about YOU! Your health, Your well being! You...look fabulous!!!! Own it!!0 -
My family, who is very supportinve and loving on a typical day, has been known to say things to me like, "wow you look great, but your face is a little drawn, don't you think?"
I do not take these things personally...because I know with 100% certainty they really don't mean to hurt me. However, if it became a habit, I would tell them the stuff it.
My family is also a big family - we always have been. DUH! Where do you think I learned to eat? lol So, I chalk it up to them not having any idea what any of us would look like healthy (which I AM) and also to their own unaddressed weight issues.
You do what is awesome for you - which you are doing. I calculate my acceptable body fat with the military calculation and according to that, I still need to lose 10 more pounds of fat in order to really be "fit." That works for me since I was hoping to do that anyway!
So, keep up the good work and do what works for you, not your family (who may not even know they are hurting our feelings).0 -
Pay attention to what feels healthy for you. When do you feel the best, when are you able to do the most? That's what matters. Ignore the comments from people that don't know what healthy looks like or who want to hold you back. Maybe people don't know what healthy looks like. My doctor gave me support on this. I felt bad about myself, and she explained that I was healthy, and explained that being overweight is less healthy. That is paraphrasing because I was actually given a lot of support and discussion on the issue, so that I walked away confident with my active & healthy body. For me it was different...no one in my real life thought I was too thin (just people on mfp).0
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