I think I'm doing something wrong. :( Help me?

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**Pictures are in my profile*
*sigh* Ok now I am going to be the first to say, any kind of advice is appreciated, but please don't be mean. Constructive criticism is fine but don't be rude. Please? Haha, ok. I am a 24 year old lady who is a full time student, part time waitress, and I had a baby 3 years ago. I placed my son for adoption, and the reason I mention this is to point out I do not have him to care for, so this is not part of my daily routine. I go to school or the hospital for rounds in the morning, get home at 430 and then start my cycle of figuring out how to organize the rest of my day with homework, eating dinner, working out, and trying to prepare for the next day.

I gained about 40 pounds during my pregnancy and still have that pouch. I lost most my weight during my down time which has kept my clinically diagnosed depression at bay. I am also no longer being medicated for it (YAY!!) and I have come a long way. But a part of me is embarrassed that I let myself get this way. I have never weighed more than 110 my whole life and I REALLY took for granted my body, my metabolism, and the hard work that most women put in every single day to stay beautiful and healthy.

I am starting to feel so so lost! I have no idea if I'm eating what I'm supposed to eat, exercising properly (how much weights/cardio??), or if I'm just being impatient or what. I follow the 30/40/30 rule that MFP sets out for us, sometimes my day gets messed up with an unhealthy food choice, but I make up for it in exercise. But for the most part, I eat pretty good. My weakness is soda. :( Such a bad habit! I used to drink up to 4 a day (How terrible right???) and now I am down to two or three a week, which for me is great! I am currently doing the LEAN P90X program with integrated Zumba on the cardio days. I try to make it to the gym for some extra running (which i hate) a few days a week if I can. My goal is to be healthy. My ultimate goal is to weigh 115-120. I would rather not be picky with numbers as I know muscle weighs more than fat, but at this point, thats all I'm confident that I know. :( I have a 37" hips/belly and a 31" waist.

Someone please help me, I feel like I'm running in circles and I just want to look and feel as fantastic as so many of you already do! :brokenheart: :cry:

Replies

  • ok now I feel silly lol. I think maybe if I get some more friends I'll get some responses? I really would like if someone could help me, feeling lost is not fun. :(
  • xxbookwormbabexx
    xxbookwormbabexx Posts: 92 Member
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    The best advice I can give you is try to roughly plan your week. Keep up with P90X and zumba! Those are both amazing.
    Even if it's just a 10 minute workout a day - it's better than nothing. I feel as though your goals are very reachable. Just keep a steady pace and cut out that soda.

    Congrats on your progress with depression. I'm still on medication!

    And don't feel "silly".
    Help is what this site is about, right?
    Good luck!
  • Fatlorenzo
    Fatlorenzo Posts: 101 Member
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    Best thing I find is to lower your calories to as low as you can live on if you can't do any exercise. If you can cycle to and from work or college then log that exercise, then you can have some more calories. Your body needs a deficit to begin eating its own fat. That's my advice anyway
  • Spanntastic12
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    From your pics you look pretty slim aside from the pouch you mentioned. You live a very active lifestyle and it isn't always possible to be at the gym all the time. I'm no expert by any means but like angela said...plan your week if possible. Any cardio is good cardio throughout your week so if you get a chance do the zumba...but I would try to find maybe a cheap DVD set that targets your abs/core since that's mainly the area you want to work on. But keep with either zumba and or p90x cuz if you gain that lean muscle it will help burn fat faster...but like I mentioned you may want to target the specific area you want to lose from.

    But even though you're down on yourself many women would kill to be slim like you are so that's a definite positive. But the important thing is to not get discouraged if things take a while. You can do this!!! :smile:
  • MrsAgi
    MrsAgi Posts: 338 Member
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    your diary is locked, so we can't give any specific advice

    how much are you eating each day? How much are you exercising? do you eat back your cals? are you eating "clean" or lots of processed food? What are your expectations?
  • davert123
    davert123 Posts: 1,568 Member
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    get some good friends on here and open your diary to them

    DO NOT cut your food to the minimum you can. This will make it more difficult because after a couple fo weeks you will feel weak and your body and mind won't get enough good stuff to work properly. your body will burn muscle which will make it harder to burn food and increase the likelihood of injury and your metabolism will stall reducing the around of calories you need. Log accurately and when you consume the food. Search on like to make sure that the calories burned in your exercise are correct. Everything is a guess - MFP guesses just like everything else - most of the time it seems accurate but I would double check. Weight your food out for a while as well so you get to know how big portion sizes really are.

    good luck
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
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    At the gym, do you have a weights programme? If you ask a trainer there, they should be able to make you a programme based on your goals and fitness level, and they'll advise you on how often to do it and how many reps.

    If you try drinking no soda for a week, and drink lots of water, you might find you lose/lessen your soda cravings. And if you give yourself a time limit, like a week, it's a lot easier than if you decide never to drink soda again. You can look on it as a fun challenge - and look forward to drinking soda when it's finished. And you might find that just one soda is enough then, and you might want to try it for another week, and see if it's easier the second time.

    Personally, I find that the more healthy foods I eat, the more my body seems to want healthy foods and not want unhealthy foods. And I find that if I make a big salad to last for several days, and put it in several bowls in my fridge, then I will automatically eat it every day, because it's something convenient and ready-made for me!
  • princessfelton
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    How long have you been off the meds and what were they? After being on a max dose of fluoxetine (60mg) it really messed with my metabolism, and I went up to 170, and then got stuck at 155 no matter what I was doing, they can take a while to get out of your system.
    Now working through it, down to 141 so almost 30 pounds down ;D So you can do it and I am still working back to my normal 120-130 ish :D
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
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    Best thing I find is to lower your calories to as low as you can live on if you can't do any exercise. If you can cycle to and from work or college then log that exercise, then you can have some more calories. Your body needs a deficit to begin eating its own fat. That's my advice anyway
    NO dont do that at all, lowering cals as low as possible will make it harder. Your body does need a deficit but what you need to do is work out your tde. Then start doing some ab exercises, you can find them onn you tube, no need to go to a gym, keep doing them every day and your stomach will start to strink, It might not go back perfect, i mean mine hasnt but it has helped alot. I dont know what your eating or your height but please do not start yourself,and apart from your little tum you have anice shape.
  • chinakat72
    chinakat72 Posts: 21 Member
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    You sound like you get enough cardio in, so if you're not losing then I would look to your diet. The other posters advice is right, the healthier you eat the more you will physically and mentally crave it and junk food starts to not hold as much appeal. Being so busy, planning is the key. Try to plan out your food at the beginning of the wek. Plan lots of acceptable snacks too. Don't starve yourself! If you're hungry...eat! But be prepared with the healthiest,, low cal snacks on hand. I personally keep low fat pop corn, jerky (only occasionally because of the sodium), cottage cheese, yogurt, hummus and baby carrots, etc.

    As for your pooch, overall weight loss will help, but you also need to tone your core. P90X sounds like it will help. I like to do workouts on the big exercise/stability balls. They are great for your core! There are a lot of core exercises on the web using them, as well as videos and books. You might even be able to find them at your library.

    Last, be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to do this and be patient. If you treat it like a sprint you'll be more likely to get discouraged and give up when you get discouraged. You are obviously a special person, remember to treat yourself like you deserve. I too am a birthmother and I know what it takes to sacrifice your heart for your baby's future. I placed my twin newborn sons for adoption 19 years ago next month. I know how much that takes out of you. Just take it slow and use the forums and friends you make on here to continue to gather knowledge and information and keep adjusting as you learn more. Good luck! And feel free to add me or message me if you would like!
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    From your pics you look pretty slim aside from the pouch you mentioned. You live a very active lifestyle and it isn't always possible to be at the gym all the time. I'm no expert by any means but like angela said...plan your week if possible. Any cardio is good cardio throughout your week so if you get a chance do the zumba...but I would try to find maybe a cheap DVD set that targets your abs/core since that's mainly the area you want to work on. But keep with either zumba and or p90x cuz if you gain that lean muscle it will help burn fat faster...but like I mentioned you may want to target the specific area you want to lose from.

    But even though you're down on yourself many women would kill to be slim like you are so that's a definite positive. But the important thing is to not get discouraged if things take a while. You can do this!!! :smile:

    ^ Agree with this.

    Perhaps stop thinking about how your body looks for awhile and instead focus on how it feels. Do you feel fit? Are you eating plenty of fresh unprocessed food to feel healthy? Are you drinking enough water to feel hydrated? Sleeping enough to feel rested and refreshed? Focus on those key things for your body and you will begin to feel fantastic.
    And I must say how much I admire you for adopting out. It's the most un-selfish thing a person can do, and you are amazing, :flowerforyou: You deserve to feel healthy and good about yourself.
  • Well thank you everyone!!! This advice has helped a lot, including all the encouragement! I have to keep reminding myself that Rome was definitely not built in a day. :) It sounds like I'm on the right track, and that I just need to keep being diligent and honest with what I'm eating. Thank you! I will keep updates on my progress. :happy:
  • How long have you been off the meds and what were they? After being on a max dose of fluoxetine (60mg) it really messed with my metabolism, and I went up to 170, and then got stuck at 155 no matter what I was doing, they can take a while to get out of your system.
    Now working through it, down to 141 so almost 30 pounds down ;D So you can do it and I am still working back to my normal 120-130 ish :D

    I've been off the medication (Zoloft went from 50 to 25 to 15 then I cut it cold turkey which I later discovered was NOT the thing to do LOL) for about 5 months or so. I was not good about making sure I was eating well, sleeping well, or staying active at the time so I'm sure its probably messed with my body as well. Congrats on your weight loss! Every success matters. :) Thanks for your encouragement!! :flowerforyou:
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    I think you should give your current plan four to six weeks to gage it's impact. Then once you see some changes, you should be better able to determine if your plan is working for your or not.

    I had a plan, but i wasn't watching what I ate...once i religiously wrote down every single thing that i ate, I started to see consistent weight loss.

    I used to drink as much soda per week as i wanted, and at least a 12 pack of brew...when I gave up those poisons I lost 10 lbs in two weeks...without really changing anything else i ate, or doing any more cardio.

    I also do cheat meals to reward myself for weight loss....maybe you want to do "cheat sodas", say like once a week to keep you sane?
  • AroraSumita
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    I was able to kick my soda habit with this little trick- you can try and see if it helps you too..

    When you crave soda , have two sips of it ( research proves that cravings are usually satisfied in first two sips/bites) rest of it is extra calories that we pack but we do not really need to have...

    I would buy the smallest cans available, have two sips when i am craving soda and throw away the rest immediately.If you let it sit- chances are you will finish the rest also..

    Also, do not buy liter bottles of soda but buy cans( Because you have to pop them open to have a sip- it works as a deterrent - at least it did for me!)

    I was able to get over my habit in three weeks- its been 5 years now and I do not crave soda at all
  • baoneill29
    baoneill29 Posts: 138 Member
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    It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like this. I commend you on that and you should be proud. There are some good comments here and it sounds like you could use some support friends too. Are you following the P90X nutritional plan? I know it's not a one size fits all manual, but for me it worked awesome. From what you're saying you are getting plenty of cardio in, so you need to make sure you're fuelin your body right. A calorie intake that is too low for you will cause your'e weight loss too stall.

    Someone pointed this out earlier, do not get discouraged! Eating healthy is a lifestyle change and will take some time to get some results. You can do it! Can't wait to see your "afters"