Help with Self Image Issues???

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dogo187
dogo187 Posts: 376
in Health and Weight Loss
Why cant I feel proud of how far Ive come???

I KNOW I should but I just feel like Im still that same girl who was 315lbs...!

Has anyone overcome their self image issues...and if so, HOW????

I feel like until I get over this I will never be where I want to be, no matter how much I weigh...
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Replies

  • prismblitz
    prismblitz Posts: 196
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    Go shopping.

    Buy the sexiest, slimliest thing you've always wanted to wear. And rock the hell out of it.

    Don't do what most of us usually do and buy something extra baggy to be safe. Rock those new curves.

    ...That's what worked for me, anyway.
  • Thundermtn
    Thundermtn Posts: 57
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    The mind is crazy isn't it. I do the same thing. I look in the mirror and hate the way I look. BUT, one way I try to trick myself is what I call, you gotta look the part to be the part. As twinsevens mentions Go shopping. Find something that you wouldn't normally be able to wear or you just wouldnt wear. This is a good way to do it. OK, So now I am repeating everything that twinsevens said.. So now you are hearing it twice.. GO ROCK IT!
  • anjanettecomer
    anjanettecomer Posts: 31
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    I've been thinking this same thing. I am less than five pounds from my college weight, when I was 18, and I still wake up daily feeling "fat." I have to step on the scale every day and break out the tape often just to check. I also have this one pair of jeans that I must compulsively try on, just to make sure I can still wear them. The mind is tricky. I simply don't see myself as thin, but I didn't when I was 18, either!
  • bethygirlie
    bethygirlie Posts: 311 Member
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    shopping usually does the trick for me.
  • jroselive2012
    jroselive2012 Posts: 129
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    I am 28 and have battled self esteem issues throughout my life as well. I have had to do a lot of forgiving of myself and forgiving of others from my past to start feeling better about myself. We are our own worst critic, when we need to be our own best friend!!!! There have been times where I've just had to tell myself "If you wouldn't talk to your friend that way, then don't even start talking that way to yourself". It actually helps. Once the negative self talk starts, find a way to back it up with something positive about yourself. You can do it. <3
  • Sevio
    Sevio Posts: 181 Member
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    I looked at your profile picture and you look AMAZZZINGGG! You should be totally proud of your accomplishments!
    It is hard because I too sometimes still feel like I am that heavy girl from 5 years ago. But then I break out that one old pair of pants I saved and put them on just to remind myself of how far I have come. And yes, new clothing shopping is a great way to make yourself feel better too.
    I am almost sure people give you pats on the back everyday and tell you how great you look...eat it up. People noticed the changes and that makes a person feel great as well :-)
    Congratulations on what you have done and what you have become!
  • T34418l3angel
    T34418l3angel Posts: 474 Member
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    The mind is crazy isn't it. I do the same thing. I look in the mirror and hate the way I look. BUT, one way I try to trick myself is what I call, you gotta look the part to be the part. As twinsevens mentions Go shopping. Find something that you wouldn't normally be able to wear or you just wouldnt wear. This is a good way to do it. OK, So now I am repeating everything that twinsevens said.. So now you are hearing it twice.. GO ROCK IT!

    Ok thundermnt, you definitely look the part! *drool*

    And I agree with him and the other person, get some new sexy clothes, don't listen to your head telling you that your too fat to be sexy because damn it you earned the right to be sexy! Flaunt your new figure and I promise eventually you might catch a peek at your reflection and think "huh, I look good today" :)
  • xratedkisses
    xratedkisses Posts: 18
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    i think that it comes from over the years of self abuse and abuse from others .. others telling you how you look or how fat you are or knocking you down.. Have you ever looked in the mirror and told yourself how pretty you are?? or how far you have from from being that person you use to be? maybe you can try that .. until you believe it.. try putting make up doing your hair getting your nails done taking a day at the spa shopping doing something that would make you feel good and then go out.. take a few girlfriends to the club or something or a bar for a few drinks maybe just make it about you its okay to be selfish everyone once in awhile nothing wrong with that.. and tell yourself that you've came along way from being that 315 pound girl that got teased and abuse all her life your a whole new you now its time to live life and be happy so smile and happy and walk with your head held high and say you know what i did this and i'm going to keep doing this and keep telling yourself until you believe you it.. who cares what others think as long as you believe it.. i wish you the best of luck and feel free to add me :)
  • lalalyn12
    lalalyn12 Posts: 80 Member
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    Its crazy you said that, a girl just did a vlog about this same thing, she lost close to 165 in a year and a half, and she was just so overwhelmed and came to the knowledge like this is what she is going to have to do for the rest of her life... I know I will reach my goal to 200, but I know during this time I am dealing with my self image issues, on my profile pic I actually place my full body face and all, cause i love my body and i actually liked the pic...My aunt always told me that you will always see yourself as is, no matter how much you weight, when you look down it seems like nothing change and your still the same....I think since we looked at the same body all of our life, and when we lose the weight we look down and still see the same thing even though its a change, your mind has not registered it yet...crazy how our mind is sometimes, But you look great,your doing great and you will continue to DO GREAT, cause your awesome, look how far you come, and know that this is only the beginning to a great life...stay encouraged
  • xratedkisses
    xratedkisses Posts: 18
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    mhmm i agree.. even thought I've lost 25 pounds i just told my best-friend as we speak that i don't see my self looking any smaller then what i am now and i just looked at her pictures and she is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! you have a long way Hun a very long way so please take it from me you are very very pretty !!!! you all beautiful and should be proud of where you have come from no matter how much weight you have lose even if you are just starting out because at least you are taking the steps to making the life change to a better and healthier life :)
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    It will change slowly but it will get there! :bigsmile:
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    One of my friends on MFP that has lost a lot of weight over the last 2 years said that it can take about a year before you start seeing yourself in a different way. I know I don't see any change in me unless I look at my monthly progress pictures. Stay strong! We'll all get there. :)
  • juliebark
    juliebark Posts: 1
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    Give it time. I ran a half marathon to celebrate losing 100 pounds and I still felt like the fat girl. Give it time. It will come. :smile:
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,077 Member
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    It happens to me alot, sometimes i am ok with my body and then other times I feel like i'm still heavy set.
    I think it is one of the reasons i never meet anyone online, i think there going to see what i see when i think im heavy :(
    It takes awhile for the mind to catch up i guess.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    Are you taking progress photos so you can compare how different you look over time?
  • rotill
    rotill Posts: 244 Member
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    When I was 20 and weighed 10 kilos less than I do now (think tall, slim, but with curves) I felt FAT, FAT, FAT. I only saw the comparison to my close-to anorexic sister, and felt disgusting, even if I was right in the middle of a normal BMI and had muscles and padding on the right places and nowhere else.

    Today I look at the mirror and smile. I like the woman I see there. It's taken 30 years and a lot of painful experiences and way too much self-hate.

    I hope you don't have to wait that long and suffer that much: Forgive yourself now, and enjoy your body while you're young!
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
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    I am 28 and have battled self esteem issues throughout my life as well. I have had to do a lot of forgiving of myself and forgiving of others from my past to start feeling better about myself. We are our own worst critic, when we need to be our own best friend!!!! There have been times where I've just had to tell myself "If you wouldn't talk to your friend that way, then don't even start talking that way to yourself". It actually helps. Once the negative self talk starts, find a way to back it up with something positive about yourself. You can do it. <3

    This. You have to love yourself where you are NOW or else it will never be good enough. Only use positive words when thinking of yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful and BELIEVE it.
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
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    I don't think I will ever get a good self image, even after losing 98 pounds, I still look in the mirror and see an elephant sized person. I know I've lost because of the clothes and the things I can do now, but I still see the fat there, NOT the loss. I really hate it!:cry:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I do "photo therapy." Whenever I'm feeling blah, I put on my bathing suit, set the camera on a tripod with the self-timer, and take some pictures, then compare them to past photos.

    I believe it takes a long time for our self-image to be an accurate reflection of our true self. Even in the mirror, we don't see us, we see our self-image. I spent most of the past decade at about 140-145 pounds, and that's where my self-image is. When I gained weight (15-20 pounds) I didn't notice because I was seeing my self-image in the mirror (and blaming the dryer for shrinking my jeans!), and after losing weight, I still see myself the same way.

    I'm slowly starting to realize I'm smaller than my mental image, and I've been at this size over a year.
  • Ichristini
    Ichristini Posts: 66 Member
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    It sounds like you've done an amazing job changing your body, your before and now pics are incredible. But you've changed your body with a guideline or a plan that you have followed. It wasn't easy it took commitment and work. Changing your self image will probably be the same way. Try not to be so hard on yourself, it will come with time, maybe talk to someone, casual or professional.

    Great job so far, you really look amazing!

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