Help with Self Image Issues???

The mind is crazy isn't it. I do the same thing. I look in the mirror and hate the way I look. BUT, one way I try to trick myself is what I call, you gotta look the part to be the part. As twinsevens mentions Go shopping. Find something that you wouldn't normally be able to wear or you just wouldnt wear. This is a good way to do it. OK, So now I am repeating everything that twinsevens said.. So now you are hearing it twice.. GO ROCK IT!

shopping usually does the trick for me.

I looked at your profile picture and you look AMAZZZINGGG! You should be totally proud of your accomplishments!
It is hard because I too sometimes still feel like I am that heavy girl from 5 years ago. But then I break out that one old pair of pants I saved and put them on just to remind myself of how far I have come. And yes, new clothing shopping is a great way to make yourself feel better too.
I am almost sure people give you pats on the back everyday and tell you how great you look...eat it up. People noticed the changes and that makes a person feel great as well :-)
Congratulations on what you have done and what you have become!

i think that it comes from over the years of self abuse and abuse from others .. others telling you how you look or how fat you are or knocking you down.. Have you ever looked in the mirror and told yourself how pretty you are?? or how far you have from from being that person you use to be? maybe you can try that .. until you believe it.. try putting make up doing your hair getting your nails done taking a day at the spa shopping doing something that would make you feel good and then go out.. take a few girlfriends to the club or something or a bar for a few drinks maybe just make it about you its okay to be selfish everyone once in awhile nothing wrong with that.. and tell yourself that you've came along way from being that 315 pound girl that got teased and abuse all her life your a whole new you now its time to live life and be happy so smile and happy and walk with your head held high and say you know what i did this and i'm going to keep doing this and keep telling yourself until you believe you it.. who cares what others think as long as you believe it.. i wish you the best of luck and feel free to add me

mhmm i agree.. even thought I've lost 25 pounds i just told my best-friend as we speak that i don't see my self looking any smaller then what i am now and i just looked at her pictures and she is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! you have a long way Hun a very long way so please take it from me you are very very pretty !!!! you all beautiful and should be proud of where you have come from no matter how much weight you have lose even if you are just starting out because at least you are taking the steps to making the life change to a better and healthier life

One of my friends on MFP that has lost a lot of weight over the last 2 years said that it can take about a year before you start seeing yourself in a different way. I know I don't see any change in me unless I look at my monthly progress pictures. Stay strong! We'll all get there.

It happens to me alot, sometimes i am ok with my body and then other times I feel like i'm still heavy set.
I think it is one of the reasons i never meet anyone online, i think there going to see what i see when i think im heavy
It takes awhile for the mind to catch up i guess.

When I was 20 and weighed 10 kilos less than I do now (think tall, slim, but with curves) I felt FAT, FAT, FAT. I only saw the comparison to my close-to anorexic sister, and felt disgusting, even if I was right in the middle of a normal BMI and had muscles and padding on the right places and nowhere else.

Today I look at the mirror and smile. I like the woman I see there. It's taken 30 years and a lot of painful experiences and way too much self-hate.

I hope you don't have to wait that long and suffer that much: Forgive yourself now, and enjoy your body while you're young!

I don't think I will ever get a good self image, even after losing 98 pounds, I still look in the mirror and see an elephant sized person. I know I've lost because of the clothes and the things I can do now, but I still see the fat there, NOT the loss. I really hate it!

It sounds like you've done an amazing job changing your body, your before and now pics are incredible. But you've changed your body with a guideline or a plan that you have followed. It wasn't easy it took commitment and work. Changing your self image will probably be the same way. Try not to be so hard on yourself, it will come with time, maybe talk to someone, casual or professional.

Great job so far, you really look amazing!


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I am 28 and have battled self esteem issues throughout my life as well. I have had to do a lot of forgiving of myself and forgiving of others from my past to start feeling better about myself. We are our own worst critic, when we need to be our own best friend!!!! There have been times where I've just had to tell myself "If you wouldn't talk to your friend that way, then don't even start talking that way to yourself". It actually helps. Once the negative self talk starts, find a way to back it up with something positive about yourself. You can do it.

"If you wouldn't talk to your friend that way, then don't even start talking that way to yourself."

That is an amazing, wonderful thing to say.

as to the original post: Retail therapy really does work. So do before/after pictures. I am in awe of how far you've come, how strong you've had to be. Don't ever give up

Look back on pictures from the past several years. Read through a journal if you've kept one. Review your social calendar from last year and this year. Think about a crowded room and needing to get to the other side! Are you as self conscious now as you were at 315 lbs? Be your own best friend by that I mean say the kind things to yourself that you would say to a good friend who was feeling down or doubting them self. Forgive and forget the negative, the imperfections and keep striving towards your goals. You're a beautiful woman. It takes time for our minds to catch up with our bodies. I go to the gym a lot! I am finally aware of the changes to my body besides what people are telling me because at the gym I am facing full walls of mirrors. I've opened my eyes and I see the changes to my body. You have made tremendous change and over time your brain will catch up. Everyone has made excellent suggestions to you here that should offer you some help. It's really common for our minds to lag behind when we've made a big physical change. If you're still struggling with it and it's getting in the way of your progress you can consider speaking with a therapist or life coach or someone to help you work out the changes in your thoughts so that you can enjoy the success you've achieved. I wish you good luck!

Why cant I feel proud of how far Ive come???

I KNOW I should but I just feel like Im still that same girl who was 315lbs...!

Has anyone overcome their self image issues...and if so, HOW????

I feel like until I get over this I will never be where I want to be, no matter how much I weigh...

There are lots of ugly people inside and out who do not have self image issues. Self image issues is an inside thing most of the time, and no matter what you do to your outside, those kinds of issues don't go away. Just be smart about it. Know your limits, know what's a healthy mind set, and what's not, and don't do anything the other side tells you.

Unlike a lot of other people here, shopping doesn't really do it for me. Expecially since I have wide hips and a tiny waist...I'll be fitting into size 9's and they'll be flopping off me everywhere and digging into my gut. I find the "photo therapy" mentioned above can be helpful if you have a good set of before pics. I've taken lots of unflattering pictures but every now and then I surprise myself.

I am 28 and have battled self esteem issues throughout my life as well. I have had to do a lot of forgiving of myself and forgiving of others from my past to start feeling better about myself. We are our own worst critic, when we need to be our own best friend!!!! There have been times where I've just had to tell myself "If you wouldn't talk to your friend that way, then don't even start talking that way to yourself". It actually helps. Once the negative self talk starts, find a way to back it up with something positive about yourself. You can do it.

That is such a wonderful advice, I would never criticize others the way I do to myself.

To the OP, you have done and amazing progress and look nothing like what you started.
To put it in practical terms, I wouldn't date a girl who looks the way you did but would barely have the nerve of approaching one who looks the you do now.

I am 28 and have battled self esteem issues throughout my life as well. I have had to do a lot of forgiving of myself and forgiving of others from my past to start feeling better about myself. We are our own worst critic, when we need to be our own best friend!!!! There have been times where I've just had to tell myself "If you wouldn't talk to your friend that way, then don't even start talking that way to yourself". It actually helps. Once the negative self talk starts, find a way to back it up with something positive about yourself. You can do it.

^^This! We have a negative CD running over and over through our brains and we have to work very hard to change that CD. Cognitive therapy is basically teaching yourself to have more positive automatic thoughts. There are several ways to approach it. One I find a fun image is to SQUASH THOSE ANTS- with ANTS being Automatic Negative Thoughts! Others find replacing the automatic negative thought with a positive affirmation every single time you have the negative thoughts is what it takes. Basically it all comes down to how the brain hangs on to what it is used to and resists change, and how to use its plasticity to fix it! Good luck!