Feeling sorry for myself....

mdsjmom98
mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
in Motivation and Support
Recently my family and I have been through a lot. A real *kitten* storm. Between deaths in the family, my husband and son BOTH losing their jobs, I am just beside myself. I am surprisingly not going overboard, persay, just eating the wrong things, and not dedicating myself to exercise. I'm tired, not sleeping well, the whole bit. I go two days without much sleep (3-5 hours) then I will sleep almost 10-11 hours another night. I just feel angry, and all I want to do is eat ice cream, chocolate, and potato chips to dull all the crap. I have probably gained only 2 lbs, which I consider a blessing, but am afraid I might be falling into old bad patterns. Any advice on ending my pity party and getting back on track?
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Replies

  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    Go run until you can't. Endorphins make you feel good, and you'll be more tired. :) We all live a storm or two. I am in the same place.
  • goodfido
    goodfido Posts: 127 Member
    Eating all the bad things, chips, chocolate etc won't make the bad things that are happening dissapear. You'd just be adding to all the bad things because you most likely will feel guilty about eating those things.

    Try and stay as positive as you can. Try and be active, for me it's a great stress reducer so hopefully that will help get you through this rough patch.

    Good Luck!
  • GamerGurl729
    GamerGurl729 Posts: 286 Member
    Go run until you can't. Endorphins make you feel good, and you'll be more tired. :) We all live a storm or two. I am in the same place.

    This is great advice. I often shadowbox or do some cardio kickboxing so that I can feel like I'm hitting or kicking something. It's a great way to vent frustration out on all that troubles me.

    I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much. Just remember to take things one day at a time. One thing I've learned here is baby steps. Don't give up!:flowerforyou:
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    Go run until you can't. Endorphins make you feel good, and you'll be more tired. :) We all live a storm or two. I am in the same place.

    this...I find that exercise helps me through the *kitten* storms...makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something..anything. chin up, things will get better.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    Diet and exercise are two things you CAN control. Taking control of something might make things seem better. All the bad stuff is out of your control so focus on what you can do youself.
  • 2012asv
    2012asv Posts: 702 Member
    Sorry to hear about that :( That sure is a lot to deal with at once

    As raw as this may sound- none of that has anything to do with your weight & health. You have to remind yourself that despite all the outside things going on, sabotaging your inside isn't helping anyone or anything. In fact, taking care of yourself and bettering yourself physically (and emotionally) will probably have a better outcome for you and your family.

    That being said, take the time you need to grieve and be easy on yourself. Remind yourself that even if you make only one positive change each day, you're ahead of the game.

    good luck to you! :heart:
  • wymanic
    wymanic Posts: 62 Member
    I love the saying that you can't stop the stormy seas, but you can learn to surf! In a world where we have little control over anything else, we do have control over ourselves and how we react to things. Eating is just one of the ways that we can try and maintain some sense of routine and stability. Don't know if that helps much, but it is helping me deal with a mother who has cancer.
  • sheribrasington
    sheribrasington Posts: 75
    Just sit back and look at your picture of how hard you have worked and how far you have come. Don't give up now. Just make up your mind you are going to get back on track a few months from now you can look back and be glad you stuck it out. I can understand completely, life can be draining sometimes. I hope things get better soon.:smile:
  • jenny24_2004
    jenny24_2004 Posts: 5 Member
    Your leptin levels are in trouble from the lack of sleep. Leptin controls hunger, aka cravings. Try walking just before bed in the fresh air to release some feel good endorphines so you can get to sleep easier. More sleep = less cravings. I think there are foods that may help you sleep (with tryptophan), and even some that may help with leptin levels, but I am not sure what those are besides bananas and turkey for the tryptophan. You could probably google it and find out though. Take it from a person who has been through several *kitten* storms over the past several months - this too shall pass! And you'll come out the other side intact with a little determination and lots of patience:smile:
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    Sorry to hear about the bad storm but lets face it at this point you cant go any lower there is no other choice but to go up. Things will get better I know easier said than done but stressing over it dosent fix it right. I agree go for a nice long run hopefuly it tires you out and you can get some rest. Try keeping yourself busy doing activities like cleaning up the yard and stuff to keep your mind somewhat off it and off the kitchen. There is a saying when bad things happen to you its just getting you ready for better things. Good luck!
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    I'm sorry you're going through rough patch but you just have to decide if you're going to fall down and stay down or get back up. I would choose get back up. Only you have the control to overcome this. Don't let it destroy any progress you've already made, starting over sucks!
  • kdwexler
    kdwexler Posts: 1
    I can completely relate. I lost 100 pounds between 2/2010 and last September and have been the same since (+ or - 8 or 9 lbs) and am not happy with myself at all. I have every excuse in the book (most of them valid) but I need to remind myself that I am who I am because of my hard work. Find a friend who can motivate you and text or call when you need in the moment support. Good luck and know you are not alone. We will feel better when we see results and that we climbed one more step on this mountain that feels like it's never ending! :)
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
    Go run until you can't. Endorphins make you feel good, and you'll be more tired. :) We all live a storm or two. I am in the same place.

    Great advice! Go do your favorite excercise, blast some of your favorite upbeat music in your headphones and build up your endorphins. You need to put yourself first since you are so important to your family in this time of need!
  • MissCarter79
    MissCarter79 Posts: 227 Member
    I have recently done the same thing and all I got was a weight gain of 9 lbs. I realized I felt good wolfing down the cheeseburgers and pizza but then it was over... I'm now trying to keep in mind that food only fills the void for a few minutes then it's over. I'm trying to do things like clean house, wash comforters, run, clean shower walls, etc... food doesn't make anything better. Good luck to you! Thinking of you and praying!
  • cindybowcut
    cindybowcut Posts: 250 Member
    I find that I always seem to sleep better on the days that I exercise. If you don't take care of yourself nobody else will. It sounds like your family needs you. In order to be there for them you need to take care of yourself and be healthy. We all have something going on that seems to make us derail from our healthy eating. Try to get back on track as soon as you can. I am an emotional eater and have found that I ask myself if I really want something before putting it into my mouth. Stop and think before you eat. You can do this. Look how far you have come already.
  • InsuranceBabe
    InsuranceBabe Posts: 13 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that! Stress eating is really hard for me as well. Use exercise as your escape. I always go in to it reluctantly, but when I'm done I feel much better. I can work out problems in my head, If I mad I can pick up the pace and get aggressive. Take up kick boxing, scream therapy (hiking to the middle of no where and scream at the top of your lungs) Don't have $$ for memberships or programs, check out your library, you can check out a lot of DVD's there. Hang in there things will get better.
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/09/17/maintain-momentum/
  • MissCarter79
    MissCarter79 Posts: 227 Member
    Your leptin levels are in trouble from the lack of sleep. Leptin controls hunger, aka cravings. Try walking just before bed in the fresh air to release some feel good endorphines so you can get to sleep easier. More sleep = less cravings. I think there are foods that may help you sleep (with tryptophan), and even some that may help with leptin levels, but I am not sure what those are besides bananas and turkey for the tryptophan. You could probably google it and find out though. Take it from a person who has been through several *kitten* storms over the past several months - this too shall pass! And you'll come out the other side intact with a little determination and lots of patience:smile:

    Completely agree/\ When I don't sleep well I eat everything in sight!
  • shrinkinginQualicum
    shrinkinginQualicum Posts: 131 Member
    That sounds like a tough time. I was doing the same thing all summer without half so much reason. (Gained 10 lbs! Ugh!) Anyway, I found what finally helped me settle down was writing down my meals and exercise ahead of time in MFP, and just keeping at it until I got back to normal. I had quit recording because I was sooo far over in calories and wasn't exercising at all any more. So I started again, and actually didn't write in the ice cream, pie, chocolate, chips etc because that was too depressing. I wasn't lying, I knew darn well I was eating that, and was over in calories. Having it written down helped me force myself to start exercising, and once I got going, it was easier every day to keep going.
    Be kind to yourself and just keep trying. It will come back. Mostly just don't beat yourself up about falling off the wagon. It happens to everyone, and you'll get back on when you're ready.
    Good luck
  • jensfitpal2012
    jensfitpal2012 Posts: 145 Member
    I am sorry for all you have been and still are going through. Best advice I can give,is start somewhere. I struggled with depression and had gained alot of weight because of how I felt and letting life's challenges get me down. I set a goal just to walk into a gym and try to start exercising,and it all went from there.I started to look and feel better,even though life still went on,I had the energy to deal with it. Take one day at a time,know you are not alone.Remove all temptations out of your home,don't get me wrong you can treat yourself,every now and then,but work for it. Best of luck to you. I will be your friend if you would like,I just don't know how to send a friend request.i am new at this.:flowerforyou:
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    This is the time when you have to be the strongest. You have enough problems thrown at you right now, don't let weight or health be one of them. Those you can have control over! I often call my weight loss an economic move. I think about every food purchase about whether it is healthful and necessary. It saves a lot or money. Regrouping can be a good time for transitions and seeing new opportunities. I hope your situation resolves for the better soon! Sometimes life is about being a strong soldier for yourself and the ones you love.
  • sirdars
    sirdars Posts: 5 Member
    Hi have you thought about writing down how you feel putting your thoughts and worries down on paper seems to clear your head which may then help you to think more positively and then you might be able to get yourself back on track to eat a bit more healthily and want to excersise hope this helps and good luck.
  • mseketa
    mseketa Posts: 3 Member
    I'm going to quote your profile at you:

    "I have two children, both boys, age 21 and 14, and obviously neither is married or have children, and I want to be around to see that."

    You're going through a really tough spot in your life. No doubt about it. But that doesn't change your real motivation. You don't just want to be around for your kids but you want to be around and active in seeing their lives unfold. No life goes with out struggles be they fiscal, health or some other thing. For some reason these things all come at once for most of us at some point.

    So there's no feeling sorry for yourself, there's only knowing that this is but a moment that you'll get past. Eating healthy and exercising is a way of making yourself feel good. I remember a leader at a Weight Watchers meeting once saying "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels" and that's so true about your life. Nothing tastes as good as the stress relief that comes from being a healthy you should feel. There are no quick fixes to the real problems of life there's only hard work. So take the time to feel bad and then you've got to think long term. How much better is going to be when you're past these problems and you're not having to start over on a journey to a healthier you?
  • FierceFox81
    FierceFox81 Posts: 89
    I like to go for long runs, or take do a boot camp class. I can let all that anger out and get a good workout. Plus then I'm tired so I sleep good.

    Hope stuff starts turning around for you and your family.
  • Carovnik
    Carovnik Posts: 17
    Grief and stress can be very difficult to deal with, but like others have suggested, find something that you can use to help you focus your emotions in a more positive way - it doesn't matter if it's as simple looking at your life and reminding yourself of your goals and the good things that are still around you, finding something you can control and reasserting your control over it, or keeping yourself active.

    Another thing that might help is talking to someone you can trust about how you are feeling.

    It sounds trite, but things will get better. It will just take time.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    Go run until you can't. Endorphins make you feel good, and you'll be more tired. :) We all live a storm or two. I am in the same place.

    Pretty much this. I used to run everyday and I am in the same storm. It sucks! Run til you can't breathe and pick up from there. I'm feeling this way right now and I plan on taking a run at some point. Good luck!
  • sujenwujen
    sujenwujen Posts: 43 Member
    Exercise.

    Even if it's just taking a short walk around the neighborhood. When you exercise, you will sleep better. When you sleep better & excercise, you won't be as likely to snack on junk food. Your body will crave protein more than sugary snacks.

    It's hard to keep up your exercise when you're feeling overwhelmed. I do BootCamp in the mornings so I can get it over with & not have it hanging over my head the rest of the day. But I know that doesn't work for everyone. And all those people telling you to run -- if you're not a runner, running sucks! I do it, but I hate it, and it's the LAST thing I'll do.

    But it's usually pretty do-able to make time for a pre-dinner or post-dinner walk around the neighborhood.
  • kareinlib
    kareinlib Posts: 98
    Eating badly will only make you sleep worse. I suggest exercising when you feel bad instead! It releases endorphins and makes you feel better - whenever I feel awful I exercise and come out of it feeling much better.

    I also went through a bad time last year, and found that eating healthier was what I wanted to do instead of overeating - I know that it's kindof the go-to to eat bad foods when you feel bad, but sometimes when life seems out of control, it's nice to at least have control over your diet. At least that's the way I saw it.
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
    Thanks everyone for the overwhelming responses! I am crying as I read your posts just knowing people understand. I had a good day today so far, have eaten very healthy, and took my 17 minute walk. Thanks again for all the advice. Helps just knowing people care. Hugs.
  • pupcamper
    pupcamper Posts: 410 Member
    The end of my pity party starts with exercise - anything that I feel like doing, get some enjoyment from and that gets me moving, that in turn gives me the motivation to watch what I eat, helps with the sleep and generally gets me feeling better!

    We all live in a **** show from time to time and it isn't always easy to get back/stay on track especially if we put extra pressure on ourselves to get back on track!

    It is the baby steps that make the biggest difference, like everything else small managable goals boost your moral alot quicker and keep you motivated longer than big goals! Good luck :wink:

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