First post for my seemingly millionth weight loss journey!

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Hi there,
This isn't my first weight loss experience. I'm only 22 years old, and I have been dieting for most of my life. I've always been big, have never had a great metabolism, and have always had to be conscious of EVERYTHING I put in my body. This is a good and bad thing. It's good, because I know exactly how to lose weight and keep it off. It's bad, because it is sometimes emotionally and physically exhausting. I get so tired of focusing on every calorie, and barely being able to enjoy a piece of cake at a birthday party. Because it's not just a calorie, or just a piece of cake. It could be the beginning of another downward spiral into a series of binges, and sometimes purges, that land me back in the overweight-obesity spectrum.

TO THOSE WITH EATING DISORDERS:

I have found an incredible book. It's called "LOVE HUNGER" by a group of doctors (Minirth, Meier, Hemfelt, Sneed, and Hawkins). It has completely changed the way I think of food, dieting, and of my complicated mental habits. I realize now that obsessing over food is not just about the calories or the weight, it's about something else that I am missing. It's about how I feel about myself, and how I feel about food in general. My lifelong unhealthy relationship with food is now ending. I'm entering a new phase of life, and I'm ready to keep this weight off for good, for spiritual, physical, and mental well-being!

Here is me at my smallest, 2 years ago, before I gained 70 lbs after suffering a physically and emotionally debilitating back injury...
(175 lbs, size 12)

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Here is me now at my biggest...
(260 lbs, size 18/20)

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Replies

  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
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    I completely know where you are coming from! I've always been on the heavy side, but looking back at my lightest (180 graduating high school five years ago) I look so thin then! But I was still getting made fun of for being on the pudgy side. I'm very conscientious of the fact that my goal is 180 and that seems like a HUGE number to a lot of girls I know, but then again I'm almost six feet tall.; I just passed the border into size 22 and I HATE feeling like this. I will have to look up this book, because I love what you are saying about it. You're completely right; it's not about the number or the calories, its about how you feel.
  • lizphantom
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    Right! I believe you can meet your goals. You're already taking the first step in recognizing you need to change your habits! Also, the ideal weight for my 5'9" frame is 165 - 170 lbs, so my goal is 170. Even at 180 I was healthy, and looked good! We're above average, that's all. Best wishes on your journey!!
  • lizvanb
    lizvanb Posts: 66 Member
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    I hear ya! I've always been on the heavier side. Always. As in, since I was 8 or 9 years old (I'm now 23). I've always been tall for my age on top of being heavy, so I always felt like I generally took up a lot of space lol. For most of my life I was either picked on by others, or harshly judged by myself. Just recently I gave up those habits like you say and I actually feel great about myself, even though I know I have a long road ahead of me. And this is also my seemingly millionth weight loss journey so I can totally relate to the feeling of spiraling downward and having to start over again. Bleh. Worst feeling!

    Feel free to add me -- I love offering support when I can. Good luck to you on your millionth-- and final!-- weight loss journey! :)
  • lizphantom
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    Thanks, I will definitely add you!! Best wishes :)
  • lizphantom
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    Our names are both Liz, by the way haha.
  • altarimage
    altarimage Posts: 95 Member
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    Way to go for taking this step! Feel free to add me :) You can do this!!
  • lizvanb
    lizvanb Posts: 66 Member
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    Our names are both Liz, by the way haha.

    Sorry it took so long to answer this, but YES. We're awesome!
  • Fit2Skinnyme33
    Fit2Skinnyme33 Posts: 127 Member
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    I totally understand. I wish I could be at my lightest again of 150 and a size 6/8. That is my current goal.
  • missdyingtobefit
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    to me u look great sum may say i do to but its sumthing that just keeps calling us to food obssesing over each calorie makes you want food even more its so hard but stay in da race
  • lizphantom
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    youre so right!!!! and thank you :)
  • lizphantom
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    best wishes to you all!
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
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    I've got the same goal.... 82 pounds and I'm off to a heck of a start so far. If you want too... add me and let's kill 164 pounds together!