Would you be mad if..

SarahJean0704
SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
in Chit-Chat
Your bestfriend started talking to your ex ??

Just recently my bestfriend started talking to my ex , we weren't to the extreme of talking about marriage or anything like that but to the point of where we met eachothers kids .. well last week he asked if she was single and then they started talking and when i asked her about it she said she doesn't know who to pick between .. and honestly i never told her she had to pick but i did tell them both that it bothered them.. idk maybe im over reacting ?? and she says she does';t know who to "pick" .. shes known this guy for about a week and me and her have been friends for years ?? wth.
«1

Replies

  • medinaasinfunkycold
    medinaasinfunkycold Posts: 3
    And you're asking if this is okay? You already know the answer!
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
    honestly i never told her she had to pick but i did tell them both that it bothered them

    i ment- "i told them both that it bothered me."
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
    yeah, like would you be mad? or am i just maybe overreacting?
  • MegNicole_X3
    MegNicole_X3 Posts: 6 Member
    I would be mad! But i tend to over react.. most all of my friends have the don't date the friends ex policy. I'd talk to him/her about it.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    Quite honestly, I'd be mad that I had such poor judgment where friends are concerned.
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
    yeah i thought the "no ex policy" was just an unwritten rule .. ha maybe i was wrong..
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Women politics :laugh:
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
    hahah thanks Spartan
  • fallonrhea
    fallonrhea Posts: 388 Member
    That sounds pretty lame of your best friend...

    I don't mean to reinforce negative energy - but I personally would be pretty hurt if my best friend even considered picking a guy over our friendship. Maybe instead of being angry and getting mad, let her know how disappointed you are that your friendship means that little to her. If you act more bummed than mad, she won't need to get defensive and maybe she'll realize how stupid she's being...
  • rottiegirl22
    rottiegirl22 Posts: 19 Member
    I guess it depends on why you guys split.

    I'd be mad at the "don't know who to pick" comment regardless.

    If you guys broke up because he's a piece of poo, I'd just feel sorry for her. And if I'd told her about his poo-ness, then I'd be disappointed in her and wonder why she would put herself through that. If you just broke up because you're two good people heading in separate directions and you can see that possibly they'd be going in the same direction, then maybe it's not so bad?
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I would not be mad.
  • Thundermtn
    Thundermtn Posts: 57
    Not much of a friend... did you talk to her..? Tell her it really bugs you...
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
    If she's even considering it then she's not much of a friend. I thought the "no dating ex" policy was still a rule amongst friends.
  • BeckZombie
    BeckZombie Posts: 138 Member
    This happened to me twice with the same people (why didn't I learn after the first time?!) and I was very mad and still am. Real friends don't date your ex, especially when they know it would bother you.
  • eyestylemom
    eyestylemom Posts: 107 Member
    Been there, done that...didn't end well. We don't speak anymore and haven't for years. And we were each others maid/matron's of honor.
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
    I've told her how i felt and i don't understand how she has to choose between anything .. because the answer is pretty clear to me !and hes a nice guy but not relationship type AT ALL ! so if she gets with him then I hope the best for them but i honestly dont think i can just sit around and still be as close with her as i am now and when she realizes that he doesn;t want anything long term , maybe she will realize that she made ther wrong choice.
  • seed_of_wonder
    seed_of_wonder Posts: 202 Member
    it really depends, are they talking just as friends or as more?
    my best friends boyfriend became one of my best friends. even after they broke up & stopped talking him and i still hung out, even travelled and lived together but we were strictly friends. & they were together for about 3 years
    ive talked with her about it & it does irritate her from time to time but she tolerates it.
  • Everythin2Lose
    Everythin2Lose Posts: 110
    I've been the idiot girl who chose the guy over her bestfriend- WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA!

    Sometimes people click, and yes it is going against the "girl" code but sometimes it is better to try and fail than to have the temptation hanging around- let them go on a date (be angry, I would be!) but don't make her choose! But it'll either blow up in their faces or it'll work out, at the end of the day it didn't work for you two but just maybe it will for them... who knows?

    I personally hate when my friends go for guys I've dated, I tell them flat out I'm not happy about it, but I choose the friendship over the guy and I will make the friendship work whether he is around or not. Although I don't want to know any of the details :tongue: It sucks.... but you're an adult move on
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
    I thought ther "no ex" thing was just known too !
    Yeah ive told them both that it really bothers me .
  • MsMargie1116
    MsMargie1116 Posts: 323 Member
    OK so she's your BFF, and she hadn't met your boyfriend until now??? What kind of BFF is that??? Heck, that's be one of the first people I'd introduce him to if it were me. Secondly, how long had you two been dating? I'm guessing not long enough for the BFF to meet him. I probably wouldn't care either way, he's aparently not the guy for you, but if he makes your BFF happy, then more power to them (I'm aparently not one of those for the "Girlfriend" code) :happy: There's a reason he's your "Ex", right???
  • Tapemymouthshutplease
    Tapemymouthshutplease Posts: 101
    Tell her it is fine that she talks to your ex, then tell her you might have some clothes and other items that are used up that you don't want anymore that she can have as well : )
  • JenG_2011
    JenG_2011 Posts: 79 Member
    Yeah, my former roommate friend is now married to my ex-fiance. Made me realize how much better off I am without both of them in my life. Not saying that's what you should do. Situations like this just show you who your real friends are. Good luck.
  • luvs2teachincali
    luvs2teachincali Posts: 207 Member
    I wouldn't be mad but I'd be sure to let my friend know that she was taking my USED leftovers. :laugh:

    I don't think you should be mad though, seriously, because he is an EX for a reason. Think good and hard, make a list if you have to, there are reasons PLURAL why he is your EX.

    What's junk to one is treasure to another..... :D
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    I try to only date guys nobody I know would want. Ok, I don't really try, it just kind of happens that way.
  • ritoosh
    ritoosh Posts: 190
    id definitely be mad...if shes been your friend for a long time and you expressed to her that it bothers you that they're talking then she as a friend needs to respect you and back off.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I would be really mad and pissed off. If my best friend told me "I don't know who to pick" she would not be my best friend anymore. You don't go and say that after a week of knowing your ex. As a best friend, she should know that he's off limits. I would NEVER date any of my friend's ex's or guys they liked. My best friend? HELL no.
  • TabathaAnn8
    TabathaAnn8 Posts: 48
    IMO, it hurts, but..... what if they end up being each other's soul mate? What if you were her? I would not begrudge my bestfriend her soul mate. That said, I think she could have chosen better words when she said "I don't know who to pick". You know better than anyone what to do. If you truly think she is an awful person for putting you through this then find and new bestie!!
  • ritoosh
    ritoosh Posts: 190
    I try to only date guys nobody I know would want. Ok, I don't really try, it just kind of happens that way.

    lol me too!!!! :D
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Damn kids.
  • xxbookwormbabexx
    xxbookwormbabexx Posts: 92 Member
    Not okay.
    I'll admit that our gender is a strange one when it comes to friends & relationships...
    I feel for you!

Categories