Would you be mad if..

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SarahJean0704
SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
in Chit-Chat
Your bestfriend started talking to your ex ??

Just recently my bestfriend started talking to my ex , we weren't to the extreme of talking about marriage or anything like that but to the point of where we met eachothers kids .. well last week he asked if she was single and then they started talking and when i asked her about it she said she doesn't know who to pick between .. and honestly i never told her she had to pick but i did tell them both that it bothered them.. idk maybe im over reacting ?? and she says she does';t know who to "pick" .. shes known this guy for about a week and me and her have been friends for years ?? wth.
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Replies

  • medinaasinfunkycold
    medinaasinfunkycold Posts: 3
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    And you're asking if this is okay? You already know the answer!
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
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    honestly i never told her she had to pick but i did tell them both that it bothered them

    i ment- "i told them both that it bothered me."
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
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    yeah, like would you be mad? or am i just maybe overreacting?
  • MegNicole_X3
    MegNicole_X3 Posts: 6 Member
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    I would be mad! But i tend to over react.. most all of my friends have the don't date the friends ex policy. I'd talk to him/her about it.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
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    Quite honestly, I'd be mad that I had such poor judgment where friends are concerned.
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
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    yeah i thought the "no ex policy" was just an unwritten rule .. ha maybe i was wrong..
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Women politics :laugh:
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
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    hahah thanks Spartan
  • fallonrhea
    fallonrhea Posts: 388 Member
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    That sounds pretty lame of your best friend...

    I don't mean to reinforce negative energy - but I personally would be pretty hurt if my best friend even considered picking a guy over our friendship. Maybe instead of being angry and getting mad, let her know how disappointed you are that your friendship means that little to her. If you act more bummed than mad, she won't need to get defensive and maybe she'll realize how stupid she's being...
  • rottiegirl22
    rottiegirl22 Posts: 19 Member
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    I guess it depends on why you guys split.

    I'd be mad at the "don't know who to pick" comment regardless.

    If you guys broke up because he's a piece of poo, I'd just feel sorry for her. And if I'd told her about his poo-ness, then I'd be disappointed in her and wonder why she would put herself through that. If you just broke up because you're two good people heading in separate directions and you can see that possibly they'd be going in the same direction, then maybe it's not so bad?
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I would not be mad.
  • Thundermtn
    Thundermtn Posts: 57
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    Not much of a friend... did you talk to her..? Tell her it really bugs you...
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
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    If she's even considering it then she's not much of a friend. I thought the "no dating ex" policy was still a rule amongst friends.
  • BeckZombie
    BeckZombie Posts: 138 Member
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    This happened to me twice with the same people (why didn't I learn after the first time?!) and I was very mad and still am. Real friends don't date your ex, especially when they know it would bother you.
  • eyestylemom
    eyestylemom Posts: 107 Member
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    Been there, done that...didn't end well. We don't speak anymore and haven't for years. And we were each others maid/matron's of honor.
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
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    I've told her how i felt and i don't understand how she has to choose between anything .. because the answer is pretty clear to me !and hes a nice guy but not relationship type AT ALL ! so if she gets with him then I hope the best for them but i honestly dont think i can just sit around and still be as close with her as i am now and when she realizes that he doesn;t want anything long term , maybe she will realize that she made ther wrong choice.
  • seed_of_wonder
    seed_of_wonder Posts: 202 Member
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    it really depends, are they talking just as friends or as more?
    my best friends boyfriend became one of my best friends. even after they broke up & stopped talking him and i still hung out, even travelled and lived together but we were strictly friends. & they were together for about 3 years
    ive talked with her about it & it does irritate her from time to time but she tolerates it.
  • Everythin2Lose
    Everythin2Lose Posts: 110
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    I've been the idiot girl who chose the guy over her bestfriend- WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA!

    Sometimes people click, and yes it is going against the "girl" code but sometimes it is better to try and fail than to have the temptation hanging around- let them go on a date (be angry, I would be!) but don't make her choose! But it'll either blow up in their faces or it'll work out, at the end of the day it didn't work for you two but just maybe it will for them... who knows?

    I personally hate when my friends go for guys I've dated, I tell them flat out I'm not happy about it, but I choose the friendship over the guy and I will make the friendship work whether he is around or not. Although I don't want to know any of the details :tongue: It sucks.... but you're an adult move on
  • SarahJean0704
    SarahJean0704 Posts: 33
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    I thought ther "no ex" thing was just known too !
    Yeah ive told them both that it really bothers me .
  • MsMargie1116
    MsMargie1116 Posts: 323 Member
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    OK so she's your BFF, and she hadn't met your boyfriend until now??? What kind of BFF is that??? Heck, that's be one of the first people I'd introduce him to if it were me. Secondly, how long had you two been dating? I'm guessing not long enough for the BFF to meet him. I probably wouldn't care either way, he's aparently not the guy for you, but if he makes your BFF happy, then more power to them (I'm aparently not one of those for the "Girlfriend" code) :happy: There's a reason he's your "Ex", right???

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