To the people in relationships

BADGIRLstl
BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
How do you handle your diet or your "new lifestyle" with your spouse or S.O. that doesn't battle the same weight/health issues as you? For the most part he is so supportive (we work out together a lot, etc.)....but he can eat any and everything that he wants :grumble: and he always doesn't like the foods that I eat to maintain my diet - so sometimes planning foods for him and me is a bit much. Any suggestions? Please share your good/bad/funny stories of how you are coping with your mate during this time you are trying to lose weight. Thanks!

One of my funny stories..... A lot of times he thinks he is eating beef when he is actually eating ground turkey!
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Replies

  • I have the same problem....My husband is def not trying to lose weight and he is very supportive , but he can put down some cookies infront of me..lol and cookies are my weakness.

    But other than that Ijust surprise him for dinner either he eats it or he finds something else to eat .. but he will give it a try...
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    I make the same meal for everyone in my house and try to sub in healthy ingredients wherever I can (like whole wheat pasta and tortillas vs. the "white" kind, lots of salads to accompany meals). It feels less like a punishment and I feel less resentful when everyone is eating (and liking, most of the time) the same thing.
  • He thinks he is eating regular noodles when its really whole wheat angel hair noodles
  • My hubby doesn't like half the foods I like so it is difficult planning meals! I work out when he is at work. But he is VERY supportive of me! :happy:
  • TCASMEY
    TCASMEY Posts: 1,405 Member
    My funny story has to do with my siblings. A few years ago at a birthday party I had taco salad. I had made it with a meatless mix from Fantastic. They all thought it was great until I told them it was meatless.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    My spouse has been great. My joy right now is he is training for his first marathon. He still has a few pounds to lose but he is doing it with an a lot more calories because of the training.
  • tasha30
    tasha30 Posts: 248 Member
    LOL well my boo is the SAME way, he can eat anything, will eat anything. But he is very supportive and very open to working out and any meal changes. So he is open to eating whatever I cook, on another note though, I usually just cook the same foods "I" just have to eat them in moderation. Try fixing yourself a smaller portions of the same foods you'd eat any other day.
  • bump for later
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    Wife and I are both on the program so it's easy for me. I cook what we need to do what we're doing.

    However,,, we have a couple other people living in the house that are not on the program, and they like to eat a little differently. What I do is put the shoppy list on the fridge, and if you want something put it on the list and if it's reasonable and Wife and I can resist it I'll get it.

    Then when I cook, I cook plenty of good healthy stuff, and if you want a side of crap with garbage sauce, the mic's in the corner. Knock yourself out.

    Sometimes I go ahead and cook a side dish for them that D and I aren't gonna touch, but it's rare. Mostly they eat what we eat, and if they don't like it, the kitchen's in there - clean up when you're done.
  • I think you should probably talk to him about menus and your lifestyle changes. He might be open to trying different things. And this might eliminate any possible stresses about meal planning.

    I am extremely fortunate that my husband and 2 older kids have never been finicky eaters. They love the fruits, veges and are happy with pretty much whatever I make. But I've really made an effort to keep their favorites on the menu and I show restraint in portion control. It helps when I make 2 or 3 vege side dishes to fill me up when I have to limit the main course! Although I have noticed they are bringing their own snacks and food items that I don't eat into the house!

    Good luck
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    I usually just cook the same foods "I" just have to eat them in moderation. Try fixing yourself a smaller portions of the same foods you'd eat any other day.

    I do the same thing. I've done the deprivation/starvation thing in the past and was always angry and miserable because everyone else got to eat the good stuff while I was stuck munching on carrots and celery. :grumble: I make the same things I always did, I just eat less of it.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member

    Then when I cook, I cook plenty of good healthy stuff, and if you want a side of crap with garbage sauce, the mic's in the corner. Knock yourself out.

    Sometimes I go ahead and cook a side dish for them that D and I aren't gonna touch, but it's rare. Mostly they eat what we eat, and if they don't like it, the kitchen's in there - clean up when you're done.

    Amen to that!
  • bekarutt
    bekarutt Posts: 20 Member
    Both my husband and I gained roughly 20 lbs each after marriage. I grew up in large family so trying to get the portions right for 2 people took me a while.

    My sister told me about this site, and after only a few days I have grown to rely on everyone's support and blogs. I go to the gym, at first not very much, but am committed to going at least 3 times a week. My husband wants to start running again but has no desire to go to the gym with me, he prefers running outdoors. And iam not a big fan of the outdoors.

    We dont have the same tastes in foods, i would like to try more healthy meals( i.e fish) and he likes simple foods.

    One meal we can definitely agree on is seasoned pork loin w/ greek salad on the side. The first time i made it my husband said he could eat that up any day of the week.
    Any type of meat would probably be okay

    I dont know the nutrition on the greek salad but here it is if you want it.

    Dice: Tomatoes, Red onion, Cucumbers and olives
    Sprinkle with a small amount of lemon juice, basil, salt and pepper
    Add a small amount of reduced fat Feta Cheese
  • My husband is pretty good with eating what I eat but doesn't like veggies. So when I make sides sometimes I'll make potato or fries (sweet potato so I can steal a couple lol) And I'll have some steamed veggies. I give the kids a little of both. Or last night when he wanted a burger I made him a burger and I had a chicken burger. So then I'm not making a totally different meal. Someone on here suggested making them shake n bake chicken while you have a lighter marinade. Most nights we eat the same thing. I get a lot of great recipes from the Looney spoons and crazy plates books (the have three different ones) and I have made chilli and different chicken meals from there and he loves them. But some days like tonight. I give in and let him have something he really wants like nachos ... yup were doing nachos tonight so I'm having a lighter lunch, making mine separate and using far less cheese and little sour cream ect.
  • carrieberrie
    carrieberrie Posts: 356 Member
    My solution is you eat what I cook, if you dont like it starve!
  • Twylla
    Twylla Posts: 51
    I just moved in with my boyfriend 4 months ago and i love cooking and he is one of those guys who does manual labour all day and needs the calories so if i make something for us both to enjoy he'll have a bigger portion and i'll have a small portion with some spinach (which has very little calories) and then the days when he asks for something i know i can't have i'll make two dinners or a modified version of it. One of my new found favorites is low cal lasagna. Instead of noodles i use eggplant sliced :) and instead of ground beef i use chicken. My mom made it for me specially when we went to her house for dinner a couple weekends ago while everyone was having the plain old plain they were looking at mine with curious eyes. :) Good luck I know it's hard sometimes to be planning two meals or making sure the one meal won't put you over for the day but just remember we are all here for ya! :)
  • Because I do all of the meal planning and 95% of the cooking...hubby will eat what is put in front of him or will have to make his own meals. He was not so "happy" about this at first but has noticed that he has started to loose weight so he has jumped on board. (just not with the planning or cooking:grumble: )
  • SarahJayRigdon
    SarahJayRigdon Posts: 113 Member
    Hubby is on board with me but because men have different nutritional needs, his calorie intake is so much higher than mine. I cook for my calorie intake so he's not meeting his calories each day. I don't think he minds too much right now because it allows him to have seconds of everything. :)
  • leeslim4life
    leeslim4life Posts: 371 Member
    LOL that's a good one, my husband wouldn't know the difference either!!!

    My husband and children are very supportive of my journey to a healthier lifestyle. When I need to get my workout in on the weekends, he makes sure my 2yr old is occupied and not climbing all over me.

    As far as food, shoot they eat what I make! :laugh: If they don't like it they don't have to eat. I make regular meals though, last night we had meatloaf, mashed potatoes & veggies. I didn't eat this but, instead had a bowl of cereal because it was a little on the late side (after 7pm). NOW today I will eat that for lunch and have a protein shake after my workout & a salad for dinner! I just use proportion with my servings & measure everything.
    We both feel the same way towards fast food, we dislike it very much so, we are on the same page with that and he doesn't taunt me with foods I can't have like desserts!

    One downfall is, my husband will not push me for anything. If I want to cheat he says "go ahead 1 day won't hurt", if I don't feel like working out he would say, "it's ok you worked out 5 days this week"! Stuff like that I wish he would push me and not let me get away with stuff like that. So, I know I have to use all my strength not to give in to cravings & push myself even when I don't want to.

    Other than that I find my journey so much easier because of them!!! :happy:
  • polyesterchesters
    polyesterchesters Posts: 81 Member
    This is awful, but my husband is such a bad eater and very, very picky. He will not eat chicken, pork, or fish. He will not eat any veggies except for lettuce, I have never seen him eat a piece of fruit, and he will not eat any two foods mixed together. After 15 years of trying to change the way he eats to no avail, I have moved on. I cook whatever I am going to cook for me and the kids, if he eats great, if not there is always peanut butter. The only important thing about meal time to me is that we sit down and eat together as a family.

    Believe me....... it took me a looooonnnngggg time to get to this point with his eating habits!
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
    I took over the cooking. My wife is happy enough to have me do the job that she is not going to complain much about the product :laugh:

    I am creative enough and considerate enough that I can usually take everyone's tastes into consideration when I make a meal so it is acceptable. My style is cramped a little because she is not very adventurous about food, but I can manage. Our situation is constrained somewhat because I have been out of work for a year (hopefully changing soon), so I have to focus on economy as well. For example, other than canned tuna, I have stopped buying fish because, even at Costco, any decent cold-water fish is $6-$10 a pound--as opposed to ground beef at $1.95.

    My biggest problem by far is my stepson who is what you would called a "neophobe". He is extremely rigid about a lot of things, but especially his food choices. I suspect it's as much a control issue as anything else, but my wife (his mother) refuses to see it as anything other than just a "cute" little "habit". It's complicated by the fact that she has always followed a very traditional "female" caregiver role with him, essentially waiting on him hand and foot. Now he is away at college, but when he comes back, it is a problem. I am expected to take his "needs" into consideration when I cook (he cannot cook for himself, other than to put cereal in a bowl or warm up a snack in the microwave--I kid you not--the kid cannot make a sandwich), which is a pain. I made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday (just barely). Now he is out of school on April 30 for the summer. So we are going to be having a serious discussion before then.
  • annekejohnson
    annekejohnson Posts: 49 Member
    I just wish I could find a spouse or S.O. to argue with over meals HAHA... No really, when I had a BF who worked at Krispy Kreme I found it VERY difficult to stay on diet as he would give me the aw come on... just this time... I love you the way you are.... ya that's why you walked away huh u ........ Ok well enuf of that... :)
  • My solution is you eat what I cook, if you dont like it starve!

    That's what my mom used to say. And we ate it!!! :tongue:
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    I did 95% (more like 99%) of the cooking already so I still do that. If he doesn't want to eat it, that's fine, he doesn't have to. But I'm not cooking anything different for him. He's the type who can sit on the couch and eat a piece of cake while he watches me run for 30 minutes (true story) and he still weighs LESS than me. He's only about 20 pounds overweight yet he complains it's because he got his father's "bad" genes since his mom and brother are both very thin and can eat "anything" (Yeah, right. I've seen his mom eat -- and while, yes, she can eat "anything," she also eats a TINY amount of food. So, yeah, that's why she's thin. And his brother's in the Navy... so he exercises like crazy... so yeah, that's why he's thin... but, you know, I don't want to hurt my bf's ego by clueing him into those things :tongue:). He's lost over 20 pounds in under 5 months just because I'm cooking healthier foods. He keeps saying he's going to start working out but I've yet to see him do much more than a couple of reps with his dumbells.

    So, really, I just ignore what he's doing if what he's doing isn't supporting my weight loss. Sometimes he goes on kicks when he'll eat nothing but breaded chicken sandwiches and potato chips for 2 of his 3 meals for several days in a row. I'd like for him to be healthier because I love him and I want him to be with me for a long time, but there's really nothing I can do to force him to do better for himself. The best I can do is to do better for myself, ignore anything he's doing that could be detrimental to my goals and progress, and hopefully he'll be inspired by me or something.
  • I agree! He can order what he wants when you eat out, but if you are cooking, he should eat what you prepare just in larger portions. That is the definition of being supportive.
  • My hubby needs to lose weight but isn't on the program (yet).. but I'm in charge of making suppers (I"m a SAHM, he gets home from work as i'm putting supper on the table). I also have to make meals that make my three kids happy. But I make sure I have a good protein, a good veggie, a carb, and I measure my portions properly.I'll add something to my meal if its missing something (like last night, it was noodle night.. so girls and hubby got a good portion of noodles, some had sauce, some didn't, and with bread.. I added a chicken breast to mine, and skipped the bread). I make family favourites (like Meatloaf) with new calorie friendly meals.
    My older girls (3yr old doesn't really care) and hubby are very supportive of me and help as much as possible.
  • LongMom
    LongMom Posts: 408 Member
    My hubby is supportive if I need/ask for it but otherwise he does his own thing. Meals are easy, we've been eating healthy dinners for a long time. Snacks are a different story. His definition of snack is pizza, sub, combo meals etc. I think he's been suffering a bit because he'll ask me what I want to have for snack and when I reply "apples and peanut butter" he doesn't look impressed lol. Whatever! Last night that's what I had and he ate a half a bag of Doritos. Lucky bum can eat whatever he wants and he weighs the same every time he gets on that scale.
  • My hubs is a rather skinny man. He doesn't really worry about a diet. However he can be a a real pain in my *kitten* when it comes to MY diet.

    He'll come down to the basement while I'm Sweatin' to the Oldies (I love that TAPE!!) while eating potato chips!! Or if I've got Julian Michaels screaming at me he'll munch on cookies!!

    When it comes to cooking though, I'm going to fix enough for me and him, if he doesn't like it he's on his own. Which is just fine with me because now I have lunch for the next day :laugh:
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
    Both my husband and I gained roughly 20 lbs each after marriage. I grew up in large family so trying to get the portions right for 2 people took me a while.

    My sister told me about this site, and after only a few days I have grown to rely on everyone's support and blogs. I go to the gym, at first not very much, but am committed to going at least 3 times a week. My husband wants to start running again but has no desire to go to the gym with me, he prefers running outdoors. And iam not a big fan of the outdoors.

    We dont have the same tastes in foods, i would like to try more healthy meals( i.e fish) and he likes simple foods.

    One meal we can definitely agree on is seasoned pork loin w/ greek salad on the side. The first time i made it my husband said he could eat that up any day of the week.
    Any type of meat would probably be okay

    I dont know the nutrition on the greek salad but here it is if you want it.

    Dice: Tomatoes, Red onion, Cucumbers and olives
    Sprinkle with a small amount of lemon juice, basil, salt and pepper
    Add a small amount of reduced fat Feta Cheese
    Thanks for your post and the recipe! I love greek salad...I usually get it from St. Louis Bread Co. (Panera Bread)
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
    Wife and I are both on the program so it's easy for me. I cook what we need to do what we're doing.

    However,,, we have a couple other people living in the house that are not on the program, and they like to eat a little differently. What I do is put the shoppy list on the fridge, and if you want something put it on the list and if it's reasonable and Wife and I can resist it I'll get it.

    Then when I cook, I cook plenty of good healthy stuff, and if you want a side of crap with garbage sauce, the mic's in the corner. Knock yourself out.

    Sometimes I go ahead and cook a side dish for them that D and I aren't gonna touch, but it's rare. Mostly they eat what we eat, and if they don't like it, the kitchen's in there - clean up when you're done.
    I need to borrow you so you can come get some stuff str8 around here. I am going to have to adopt this thinking. I told him the other day that he needs to drink his Wendys shake before he makes it home....
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
    My hubby is supportive if I need/ask for it but otherwise he does his own thing. Meals are easy, we've been eating healthy dinners for a long time. Snacks are a different story. His definition of snack is pizza, sub, combo meals etc. I think he's been suffering a bit because he'll ask me what I want to have for snack and when I reply "apples and peanut butter" he doesn't look impressed lol. Whatever! Last night that's what I had and he ate a half a bag of Doritos. Lucky bum can eat whatever he wants and he weighs the same every time he gets on that scale.
    I feel your pain! This is what I go through....
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