Can't get it through my head to eat more calories

If you don't eat enough, your body will hold on to the excess.

i just started this whole food logging journey, and I would only like to lose about 10 pounds or even just lower my body fat percentage. I have struggled with eating disorders in the past, and I can't seem to get it through my head that I can actually eat more. Currently I am set at 1200 calories per day but have not been eating back my exercise calories. I always stay pretty much the same, although I don't make a big deal out of weighing myself since that's what got me into trouble years ago. I would just like to fit in smaller size clothes, and I am trying to be more conscious of eating more protein, veggies and less carbs. I am about 150 at 5'8" and had my fourth baby 10 months ago. I work out 6 days a week, although just got serious about it again postpartum around 4 months ago. Have you had more success eating less or eating a little bit more? Currently, I am not even netting the 1200 after exercising, and I'm struggling how to add that in without too many carbs or without mentally thinking I am overeating. I am so used to eating the smaller amount. It's such a mental game!

You body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You can not make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.

If you have a lot of body fat reserves you would be surprised at how little you can eat (unless you have emotional eating issues or disorders). The leaner you get the less your body has to draw from and then you have to taper up your calories. There is no such thing as starvation mode for woman over 12% body fat or men over 6% body fat. I pretty much proved that for myself by staying strong and building muscle and doing what I did. I'm the leanest, most muscular, and most fit that I have ever been in my life at almost 52 years old.

Seperating out the the two things worked for me:

1) Eat less to lose fat.

2) Exercise to gain or maintain lean body mass.

Ignore exercise calories because it's insignificant when you don't have to worry about starvation mode anymore and it's highly over rated. Of course you burn energy, but not nearly what any of the devices say you do.

If you are not doing a weight training routine you need to start one and do it the rest of your life to ward off osteoporosis.

We’ve been trying to figure out an exact NUMBER of calories that everyone should be eating, without recognizing that everyone is slightly different. In truth, the calories aren’t the end game. Your body is. So the EXACT amount of Calories that are right for you is the EXACT amount that will allow you to maintain your ideal bodyweight no matter what some calculator or chart says.

In other words, an online calculator might tell you that you need to eat 2,500 calories
per day to maintain your ideal bodyweight. But the only way to know for sure if this is
the right amount for you is to test it out. If you gain weight or can’t lose weight eating
that much, then you know you need to eat less to lose weight no matter how many
calculators and text books say otherwise.

This doesn’t mean your metabolism is broken, it just means the estimate of your needs
was just a bit off.

-John Barban