Are looks all that matter?

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quillsHP
quillsHP Posts: 91 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hey guys...I am 23, fun, adventurous and have a great sense of humour...am I allowed to say that about myself? :P

My question is...till now no guy has ever shown an inkling of interest in me. I mean...I am not desperate or anything, but is it all about the looks? I know I am not Penelope Cruz or anything(oo la la) but I am not half bad and I can hold a conversation. So why is it that all the people around me who are not...err, fat or whatever get into relationships?

I am always the friend. The great friend who gives good advice about relationships, though I have never been in one. How weird is that? :D I am the tomboy...the one who can beat them in drinking, the one who discusses hot girls, etc. Is that the problem?
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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    I am always the friend. The great friend who gives good advice about relationships, though I have never been in one. How weird is that? :D I am the tomboy...the one who can beat them in drinking, the one who discusses hot girls, etc. Is that the problem?


    No man likes to be drank under the table unless you're going under the table with them.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    being someone you're not and trying to be like girls who you see with guys will get you laid.

    Being yourself and waiting for the right person will get you in a meaningful relationship.

    I'd rather be with a tomboy in a heartbeat than an annoying *kitten* barbie dolled "cheerleader" type. There are men out there who will love you for you.

    (talking a lot to my wife with this advice, as I snapped her out of not being her when we got together).
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    being someone you're not and trying to be like girls who you see with guys will get you laid.

    Being yourself and waiting for the right person will get you in a meaningful relationship.

    I'd rather be with a tomboy in a heartbeat than an annoying *kitten* barbie dolled "cheerleader" type. There are men out there who will love you for you.

    (talking a lot to my wife with this advice, as I snapped her out of not being her when we got together).

    Aww... this reminds me of a special episode of Blossom.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    Girl I hear ya... The sad part is... Yes for a lot of people, men especially since they are more visually oriented, looks are important. But they are not, or at least shouldn't be all that matters... For the D-bags that will dump someone just because they don't look the greatest... they are going to end up sad and alone for a lot of their lives because let's face it... no one is "hot" at 60... time is not on our side...

    Maybe trying different things to meet people... The quality of the the guy may be lying in where are you are meeting them.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,051 Member
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    Have you tried ugly guys? We need love too you know!
  • JessigirlJb
    JessigirlJb Posts: 656
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    Its not all about looks.. but they have to be attracted to you to want you so that for sure has weight. But my advice is look in some different places for a man. If all the guys you are around consider you just friend material look somewhere else..
  • melissafaith24
    melissafaith24 Posts: 251 Member
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    being someone you're not and trying to be like girls who you see with guys will get you laid.

    Being yourself and waiting for the right person will get you in a meaningful relationship.

    I'd rather be with a tomboy in a heartbeat than an annoying *kitten* barbie dolled "cheerleader" type. There are men out there who will love you for you.

    (talking a lot to my wife with this advice, as I snapped her out of not being her when we got together).

    he is wise.
  • wildcelticrose
    wildcelticrose Posts: 40 Member
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    being someone you're not and trying to be like girls who you see with guys will get you laid.

    Being yourself and waiting for the right person will get you in a meaningful relationship.

    I'd rather be with a tomboy in a heartbeat than an annoying *kitten* barbie dolled "cheerleader" type. There are men out there who will love you for you.

    (talking a lot to my wife with this advice, as I snapped her out of not being her when we got together).

    YES!

    this!
  • Devild0ll
    Devild0ll Posts: 29
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    Have you tried ugly guys? We need love too you know!

    Who said you were ugly?
  • Davidgettinghealthy
    Davidgettinghealthy Posts: 76
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    Have you tried ugly guys? We need love too you know!

    Amen brotha.
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
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    Have you tried ugly guys? We need love too you know!

    Even some of us ugly people are taken.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    Yes, looks are important, especially in those first stages of attraction.
  • chinatbag
    chinatbag Posts: 249 Member
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    Have you tried ugly guys? We need love too you know!

    This is how I feel, lol.

    But in all honesty, I think it's a mix of both. The initial attraction is needed for someone to make a move and personality is a secondary thing, until later, when it's the primary thing.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Try the ugly guys, they have lower self-esteem.


    Oh wait, or is that fat chicks?

    DAMN.


    But in all seriousness, yes looks do matter. If I'm not attracted to a guy and think DAMN, GIMME SOME OF THAT, then I damn sure am not going to be interested. Attraction is a must. BUT, not everyone agrees on what they find attractive. It's different for everyone, so just keep plugging along and you'll find someone eventually.
  • ReesesPuffs
    ReesesPuffs Posts: 169
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    I'm in the same boat as you OP. Seems like a high standard has been set in this day and age and people are brought up being fed the image of the ideal partner that reality very rarely seems to offer, yet they cling onto the notion sweeping potentional great relationships aside waiting for that one prince charming that'll probably never come xD
  • Devild0ll
    Devild0ll Posts: 29
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    Hey guys...I am 23, fun, adventurous and have a great sense of humour...am I allowed to say that about myself? :P

    My question is...till now no guy has ever shown an inkling of interest in me. I mean...I am not desperate or anything, but is it all about the looks? I know I am not Penelope Cruz or anything(oo la la) but I am not half bad and I can hold a conversation. So why is it that all the people around me who are not...err, fat or whatever get into relationships?

    I am always the friend. The great friend who gives good advice about relationships, though I have never been in one. How weird is that? :D I am the tomboy...the one who can beat them in drinking, the one who discusses hot girls, etc. Is that the problem?

    Minus the drinking, this is me (well add a few years too)... And yeah, I've struggled with this question. I finally came to realize that while we love people for *who* they are, we start talking to them for *what* that are. And, for all the guys that say they don't want a "high-maintenance" girl, there are a very small percentage that mean they want a girl like us. I think they mostly mean they want a girl who doesn't want to spend time with them other than for, uh, "relations". It definitely gets better with age tho, hon. Sorry I couldn't tell you anything more helpful.

    (edited for clarity)
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    No, looks aren't everything but they do tend to get things started. However looks really only get you to the first date. After that it's all personality.
  • Skinny_Jeans_Soon
    Skinny_Jeans_Soon Posts: 326 Member
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    You are only 23, you have your whole life ahead of you.

    I have no advice for you, I don't get attention either but I just think staying true to yourself is always the right road to take.

    For the record, I am a tomboy too, not really into make up and would rather drink beer and play on the 4 wheelers than shop. I don't think it is a turn off for the guys, if it is we are both in trouble.

    Hang in there girly!
  • bobbierogers
    bobbierogers Posts: 4
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    Your not ugly
  • Aquarian
    Aquarian Posts: 1,094 Member
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    Looks are all that matter for teenagers maybe, but not for men looking for serious relationships. Sure you have to be presentable, but if you've got that covered, then maybe you are with the wrong age group? Guys in early twenties sometimes have no idea what they are looking for (as are girls of that age!) so maybe an older guy (late twenties/early thirties) would do the trick? I say this because I got married at 22 and my husband was 30 at the time. Guys in my age group were too boyish in my opinion, and they seemed to have no career plan or financial security... I couldn't deal with that, and then I was lucky and found my all-man husband! :D Try going to a different hangout alone, and see if having no friends around you will get guys to approach you. :)

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