Turning down invitations because of calories

pompeii79
pompeii79 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Is it okay to turn down an invitation to drinks and dinner because you have too little calories to spare? I feel very guilty even though they say they understand.
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Replies

  • debst24
    debst24 Posts: 3 Member
    salad, diet coke maybe
  • debjae
    debjae Posts: 242
    Do what is best for yourself!!
  • timvet
    timvet Posts: 114 Member
    I do this all the time, or I meet them just for drinks later and have water or a diet coke. You have to take care of yourself!
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    salad, diet coke maybe
    Agree. Or water/lemon. Whatever. There are plenty of ways you could go and stay within your calories.

    ETA: BTW, yes, it's ok. But do you really want to turn down invitations over calories?
  • sweetsungirl
    sweetsungirl Posts: 94
    Go exercise & earn some more calories for the day?
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    Only if you don't trust yourself to exercise moderation.

    For drinks you can keep a glass of sparkling water in hand (and any reasonable host would be prepared to accommodate a request like that) and keep your dinner portions on the smallish side.

    Going over one on your calories one day doesn't make a great deal of difference in the grand scheme of things and, unless you're a hermit, a balanced life includes a certain amount of social interaction.
  • GCanha
    GCanha Posts: 66 Member
    I think you're setting yourself up for failure. Eating healthy is a lifestyle you have to adapt. to- and eating out is a part of how we socialize. By restricting yourself from joining activities- you're going to end up quitting faster than if you go out and make healthy food choices.

    Yes, it's hard when everyone else is munching on buffalo chicken wings and downing margaritas...but hanging with friends is not about the food- it's about friendship.

    I think you should go out- order a glass of wine (if you're old enough) and order a salad instead. You'll still have a great time- and your friends will end up being more supportive of your efforts- heck you might even be a good influence for them.

    Idealy, try to plan ahead when you're going out so that you save your calories a bit better. Also, you can plan out where you're going and look at their mnu before you go so that you know what your getting before you get there.

    Good luck!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,278 Member
    I think you're setting yourself up for failure. Eating healthy is a lifestyle you have to adapt. to- and eating out is a part of how we socialize. By restricting yourself from joining activities- you're going to end up quitting faster than if you go out and make healthy food choices.

    Yes, it's hard when everyone else is munching on buffalo chicken wings and downing margaritas...but hanging with friends is not about the food- it's about friendship.

    I think you should go out- order a glass of wine (if you're old enough) and order a salad instead. You'll still have a great time- and your friends will end up being more supportive of your efforts- heck you might even be a good influence for them.

    Idealy, try to plan ahead when you're going out so that you save your calories a bit better. Also, you can plan out where you're going and look at their mnu before you go so that you know what your getting before you get there.

    Good luck!

    ^^^YES!!!
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    I'd say just go out and enjoy yourself...life's to short to deny yourself experiences. you can do stuff at home later on to burn those calories off....just sayin
  • takingnameskickingbutt
    takingnameskickingbutt Posts: 231 Member
    I think it's ok. I turn down things all the time where I know I can't eat, and since I don't really drink, I don't like to be around drunk people.
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
    I choose healthy options to eat, and I drive there and tell them that I don't want to drink and drive. Any friend would respect you choice to not endanger your life and the lives of others :)
  • DOElston
    DOElston Posts: 102
    If you don't think you can attend without pigging out then staying home is the far better option. You have to put YOURSELF and YOUR needs as the priority until you know you can enjoy these functions and eat carefully.
  • guardian419
    guardian419 Posts: 391 Member
    I'd go for the atmosphere, but if you can't stop yourself from eating it, then respectfully keep your distance, or agree to meet somewhere else after they've finished with their pizza and beer
  • mvl1014
    mvl1014 Posts: 531
    It's okay, but you shouldn't. You don't want to feel alienated. You need support or you'll never succeed. So go fully satiated and enjoy yourself. Have water to drink or nurse a ginger ale.
  • Hayesgang
    Hayesgang Posts: 624
    I think you're setting yourself up for failure. Eating healthy is a lifestyle you have to adapt. to- and eating out is a part of how we socialize. By restricting yourself from joining activities- you're going to end up quitting faster than if you go out and make healthy food choices.


    ^^THIS
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    Is it okay to turn down an invitation to drinks and dinner because you have too little calories to spare? I feel very guilty even though they say they understand.

    It's your life! However, don't forget that friends are important and you don't want to lose them because of your diet. If you have issues controlling yourself when eating out - then give it time. If your self control has been mastered order something healthy or eat before you go!
  • Gabriall
    Gabriall Posts: 101 Member
    just go! like the above posters have said there are always ways and means, it's the company which should be norishing.

    If you know you are going to a resturant, look up their menu's online before hand, a lot of them have the calories on their menus if not they have a nutritional guide and if not... shoot the company/resturant an email, if it is a large chain chances are they will have the values to hand just havent been brave enough to publish them yet. Then you can plan out a meal before you even get there! there are always options BTW... don't automatically go for the veggie option under the assumption it is lower in calories - it often isn't ouch to Nandos Halumi and Mushroom wrap! :)
  • likemeinvisible
    likemeinvisible Posts: 309
    I say eat today, starve tomorrow. Unless it's an everyday thing, I don't see why you should prevent yourself from the little joys of life. And like people said above, there's always a way to moderate things. Have fun.
  • bilberryjam
    bilberryjam Posts: 72 Member
    I think you're setting yourself up for failure. Eating healthy is a lifestyle you have to adapt. to- and eating out is a part of how we socialize. By restricting yourself from joining activities- you're going to end up quitting faster than if you go out and make healthy food choices.

    Yes, it's hard when everyone else is munching on buffalo chicken wings and downing margaritas...but hanging with friends is not about the food- it's about friendship.

    I think you should go out- order a glass of wine (if you're old enough) and order a salad instead. You'll still have a great time- and your friends will end up being more supportive of your efforts- heck you might even be a good influence for them.

    Idealy, try to plan ahead when you're going out so that you save your calories a bit better. Also, you can plan out where you're going and look at their mnu before you go so that you know what your getting before you get there.

    Good luck!

    All of this.

    If you still don't feel comfortable in a bar or restaurant, suggest doing something else - even going for a walk. You need to see friends and socialise. That's important for your emotional health, too.
  • pompeii79
    pompeii79 Posts: 6 Member
    We compromised! He didn't want the boneless skinless chicken I am having, so he's just going to come over for a movie and bring his own food. :-) Thanks y'all!
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
    I don't drink but I go out. I am gluten intolerant so people never expect me to eat. I love to socialize and drink lots of water. It is a win/win situation!
  • delwen57
    delwen57 Posts: 9 Member
    Don't stop living your life just because your watching your calories, take your own drink of choice and have small helpings
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    I absolutely would not turn down an invite because I'm afraid of calories. That's restrictive dieting and restrictive dieting does not work.

    Make better choices, but don't sweat going over from time to time. A couple times a month I will go as much as 2000 over my goal. It' certainly hasn't hurt me in the long run.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    GO.....have fun.

    Order everything you think you want, keeping it within reason..............then take a bite or two of everything while sipping cold water and chatting with the company you're with.

    YOU have to have fun once in awhile.......you cant shut yourself up and hide away from others. Thats a recipe for disaster.

    GO and have fun
  • blueimp
    blueimp Posts: 230 Member
    Yes, it's hard when everyone else is munching on buffalo chicken wings and downing margaritas...but hanging with friends is not about the food- it's about friendship.

    ^^ This ^^
  • rjsimpson2002
    rjsimpson2002 Posts: 115 Member
    For me I am trying to change my lifestyle so that I am healthier rather than being on a diet. Part of life is going out with friends so I say find a way to make it work if it is only the fear of calories stopping you.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    I have that problem too... I just try to come and be with people but get something very small. Worst case - don't get anything, but it's no use sitting home alone and being miserable!
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    I make exceptions. granted I only go out about once a month because I work two jobs and keep busy.

    It's okay to have fun once in a while.

    I went to a friend's yesterday and even ate dessert. Today i am back on it and gonna work out an extra 20-30 minutes to make up for it :)
  • rocraz
    rocraz Posts: 11
    HI there,

    I never turn down invitations because of calories. Either I plan ahead and don´t have many calories before (and often order a caesar´s salad or something like that) or just go for the sake of meeting my friends.

    When we are going to meet at a friend´s place, instead of eating I´m the one who often prepare or help preparing the food (or desert) itself. That helps me a lot :-)
  • trunkfish
    trunkfish Posts: 81 Member
    I never choose caloires over dinner/drinks/friends. I look at my calorie intake over the week. If I know I'm going to meet friends and probably sink a bottle of wine, I just adjust my calories for that week and I'm more likely to up my exercise to give me extra calories. A game of squash is a bottle of wine. As for food, I might choose a healthier option, or just a small portion of something. Hope that helps.

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