Do people constantly compliment your weight loss or ignore i

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I don't know what it is. I have lost 51 pounds and not a single person in the last several months of my journey has complimented me or verbally noticed the loss. The only people that say anything are my immediate family and friends. people I have been know for years and say haven't seen since before I stated don't say a word or seem to notice. What's the deal? When my husband lost 92 pounds, we could not go anywhere and see someone he knew and them not say anything. Is it just me? Man, i would love a comment or two from people. I find it motivating and an ego boost when someone notices. Anyone else with this problem?

Replies

  • bethie0828
    bethie0828 Posts: 35 Member
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    I think that they compliment the men because they are not a touchy when it comes to topics as weight. I be that people do notice, but are worried about sounding insensitive, because a compliment may make them feel like they noticed you were actually heavier before. I think that it goes under the premise that you don't talk about weight and age with women, lol.
  • RustyTheCat
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    You know, I am no expert on reading people but I tend to agree with bethie0828. But sometimes I think women just don't know how to give a compliment regarding that in some cases. Who knows why maybe jealousy that you have control finally. You should be so proud of yourself for being so disiplined (sp) and making healthier choices for yourself. Good Job and keep up the good work! It's hard to make changes but remember you are doing it for yourself not for others to validate you! :smile:
  • ylin
    ylin Posts: 16
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    I agree with bethie0828 too! If they don't say anything to you in person, you can bet they say good things behind your back!

    I overheard a guy friend talking about another woman. His exact words were, "She lost a lot of weight. I mean, she looked great before, but she looks even hotter now!"

    So, keep your head up, flaunt what you have, and stay proud!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Bethie0828 has it right on. I myself would never comment on someones weight (unless they were a close friend) because I wouldn't want them to think that I thought they were fat before. A couple people have made comments at work, and my dad's girlfriend gushes all the time about how little I am getting. But my fiance's family has never said a word, and I sometimes wonder, do they notice? I am sure they do, but for the reason above don't want to unintentionally insult me or anything.
  • natspoiledbrat
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    I get complemented a lot and it actually gets on my nerves. I know that people are trying to be nice and they have good intentions, but sometimes they go a bit overboad. For example this one lady at work goes on and on about is everytime I run into her. Then she tells other people. Then you get the people (like my mother) who point it out to everyone. Or the other day, this lady at work told me, I am so glad you are losing weight now, we can see your beautiful face. I kinda took offense to that because it seemed like it could easily be twisted to you are not pretty because you are fat........
  • bakergirl62
    bakergirl62 Posts: 248 Member
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    There's the other side of the coin too, where women are extremely jealous. I have heard through my "Grape Vine" at work, that I am either having an affair or I'm getting divorced. Neither of which are true. Some people just don't understand that we are doing this for health reasons with no other ulterior motive.
  • OddSquid
    OddSquid Posts: 107 Member
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    I get compliments from the ladies at the office and the offices nearby in the same building. So that's a nice ego boost. But I think with the whole "workplace/sexual harassment" thing, it's just too ambiguous now what can be considered harassing and what can be considered a compliment without any hidden agendas. Fortunately for me, I've worked with these people for up to 10 years, so it's all pretty casual around here.

    But I agree that there may be an underlying fear of inadvertent insult. If someone says "have you lost weight?" the very real reaction could be "what, was I fat before? What're you tryin' to say?!"
  • 34at35
    34at35 Posts: 318
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    I found out that some people weren't saying anything to me about it because they were afraid to! Thought that I might have cancer or something that was causing me to "wither away" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • DaveyGravy
    DaveyGravy Posts: 283 Member
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    One of the biggest motivators for me is when people who didn't even know you were losing weight make a comment about you losing a load of weight. I went to the dentist last week and he hadn't seen me for 6 months and instantly said how much weight i'd lost and how much better I look. Hearing things like that, when you know it's not just your family trying to encourage you etc. is just a great motivator.

    People who spend all of their time around you will notice the weight loss a lot less, because they see you often and it's a gradual process so they will notice it less.

    Don't worry about what other people think too much, though, it's how YOU feel that's the most important!
  • mrsgiffin
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    jealousy is all I have to say!!! esp Women.... they don't want anyone else looking better than themself! You know you worked hard for this and thats all that needs to be important to you!! Good job!
  • BobbieJo_1977
    BobbieJo_1977 Posts: 197 Member
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    I know for me most people didn't notice until I hit the 80# mark. Only the people who knew I was trying to lose weight saw it, because they were "looking" for it.
  • ktydidwright
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    I think sometimes your friends don't understand how much it means to you if they continue to compliment you on your weight loss. I know that when I first started losing weight, my friends would compliment me and tell me what a great job I was doing. Then after awhile they just stopped. I had reached the 75 pound mark and the change was very noticeable then and all of a sudden nobody was saying anything any more. When I mentioned it to one of my friends, she acted offended and said, "I've told you that you are looking good!" I guess I had just wanted to hear it again after losing more weight. I have found, though, that if you are on a long journey of weight loss, some of your friends will get tired of it. I have been accused of being "obsessed" because of my dedication to my diet and exercise program, so I think jealousy does play a part as well.
  • jdavis193
    jdavis193 Posts: 972 Member
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    I have found that some women don't becuase they are jealous.!!!!
  • natspoiledbrat
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    I also agree with the people on here that said its because women tend to be "jealous". A lot of the women that I work with who are older than me are the people that complement me. Most of the women who are my age tend to say nothing with the exception of one who works out at the same gym as me. Now that I think about it, I would say its that........although, I don't really like the word jealous, but I think they see you as competition now.
  • sineadmm
    sineadmm Posts: 190
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    I wouldn't dare of saying anything about someones weight to them, id say it behind their back though(of course complimenting) lol!
  • Sarandipity
    Sarandipity Posts: 1,560
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    I found many tell me I look good, but don't comment on the weight specifically. It has died off now, I guess they are getting tired of it :laugh: :laugh:
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
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    I don't receive compliments either... I've had health issues all my life they may be afraid I'm ill again and don't want to press the issue. My daughter is the only one who acknowledges it. My son has seen me all sizes in his lifetime - probably figures it is another stage... LOL. So yes, I wouldn't be too concerned about them not commenting - I'm sure they've noticed... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
  • teetee1281
    teetee1281 Posts: 1,076 Member
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    I get compliments on my weight loss from females, especially those who see me in the gym all the time, but from guys, I think sometimes they mean to be good, but it just come out wrong. At 5.5 and 175 lbs, I wore most of my weight in my thighs and a little in my stomach, so after losing some weight and toning my legs and stomach, I ran into this Marine who was like "you are really slimming down, I mean when I first met you, you were thick and healthy." But what got to me, was the way he said it and made me feel so much larger than what I was at 175. So I started to defend how I looked back then and completely forgot about the compliment. Because I never felt big, I always thought that I wore my weight well and should tone a little. By the end of the conversation, I was more upset than happy about the compliment, besides the fact that the mosquitoes made a meal of my legs! :laugh:
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
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    I have had a lot of compliments and honestly I get mixed feelings when it happens. Sometimes when people tell me how great I am for losing the weight I feel like I just wanna shrug my shoulders. I got myself into a mess and got myself out. When I hear that I inspire someone it really means a lot to me. It almost makes me work harder and remember my goal isn't done yet even when I lost over 200lbs. I've never heard anyone talk crap about me or sense jealousy (hope not behind my back) lol. I just have to stay humble about it because so many people in this world have serious problems that they overcome. It feels good inside and I let the person know I am grateful for the compliment, but also let them know I am not finished yet.