Turning down invitations because of calories

Give yourself a chance to succeed! I don't think thin and lonely is your goal--learn how to go out with friends without eating poorly. Talk and laugh and sip on water! The poster who suggested catching up with your friends after dinner had a good idea--it would let you test one venue at a time.

For me I am trying to change my lifestyle so that I am healthier rather than being on a diet. Part of life is going out with friends so I say find a way to make it work if it is only the fear of calories stopping you.

^^^ Agree!

This can be challenging. I know my buddies will all meet out at a bar or pub occasionally to watch sports. Most of them are married and have let themselves go, so they mindlessly over-indulge in super fatty bar food and heavy beers. They will also razz me if I don't indulge with them (misery/failure loves/seeks company mentality).

But I look at bar food and junk food this way: they are the equivalent of cigarettes to my health and fitness now. Plus I am super focused on how I want to look and feel and how I want to maintain my health level from now until I am gone - that desire supercedes everything else - and I am unapologetic if anyone is offended by it, or criticizes me for it or tells me to "loosen up". I got fit and healthy from focus, hard work and discipline, not from "loosening up". Loosening up was why I was 40 pounds heavier a year ago and had cholesterol near 200 and got out of breath simply walking up steps.

If I have some friends who smoke (and unfortunately I do) I don't have to also partake in smoking in order to socialize with them and have some laughs and enjoy the big game. Same goes for the crappy bar food mentality. When I go out I have a rule I follow: 2 lite beers and done. Once I drink 2 lite beers, I order seltzer water with lemon. When my friends Razz me, I just confidently say "Thanks man, I am good! Dig in and enjoy it - more for you! Yummy!" Most of them pick up on the fact that by responding this way with a big confident smirk on my face I am actually passively razzing them back and calling them fat-a$$es without doing it in an overbearing or judgmental way. I have a lot of fun with it too - while they are stuffing their faces I might go "dude, got a little sauce on your face there - might wanna hit that - here's a wet wipe for ya" or "wow, did you just get released from a prison camp?"

I hear what people are saying about not being restrictive, but the way I look at it is that I plan my meals properly and I allow myself to eat things that I love and enjoy as part of my daily meal planning - I don't punish myself, I love the food I eat now. But going to a bar and eating fried wings or "Poppers" as no place and serves no positive purpose in my lifestyle now in the same way that I would never smoke a cigarette at a bar. I don't smoke on a daily basis, why would I do that just because I am at a bar with friends - same exact thing to to me. I have a couple lite beers, cheer the game, flirt with women and razz my friends and I still have fun - probably even more fun because I know I look and feel my best and I am confident.

Plus what attractive woman wants to talk to a guy at a bar with a faceful of wing sauce who smells like garlic and blue cheese??? None that I have met so far... Yuck no thanks...

I haven't read everybody else's responses but I think I'm probably just reiterating what they've already said. If you want to be with friends, then go ahead and meet up with them. However, exhibit self control. Either budget to have some food/drinks within your calorie allowance, do a little bit of extra exercise, do better the next day, or simply just go and enjoy their company without eating anything and drinking something low cal. Avoiding calories should never cut into your social life. If you truly want to go, GO. Just exercise caution Social activity is healthy!