When your "BEFORE" pics are plastered on the Internet!

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  • kittyparade
    kittyparade Posts: 3
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    In the words of the Beatles, "Let It Be"

    You are who you are. Right here. Right now. People see you every day and love you like you are. They even want a picture for posterity for their children. One day they will say "Mom, I remember this day. It was awesome and that lady was so nice!"

    I promise they will not say "Oh mom, remember that fat lady?" Most will have your signed book, or a cd and have wonderful childhood memories that include you.

    My dear. Be yourself. Right here. Right now. We are not promised tomorrow.

    Just my humble opinion (as well as 10 year of my life lost to declining having my picture taken. It is as if I did not exist in my late 30s early 40s) I regret it always!

    AWTY:flowerforyou:
  • heroyalslimness
    heroyalslimness Posts: 591 Member
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    My first thought was, if they took the pictures themselves, they can do whatever they want with it as long as it's not slanderous. I understand where you're coming from about vanity. It wouldn't like it either, however, as you mentioned the parents aren't hooked on getting a picture. They are more or less there for the child's sake. So, I say do whatever you feel you need to do.

    Thanks!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    In the words of the Beatles, "Let It Be"

    You are who you are. Right here. Right now. People see you every day and love you like you are. They even want a picture for posterity for their children. One day they will say "Mom, I remember this day. It was awesome and that lady was so nice!"

    I promise they will not say "Oh mom, remember that fat lady?" Most will have your signed book, or a cd and have wonderful childhood memories that include you.

    My dear. Be yourself. Right here. Right now. We are not promised tomorrow.

    Just my humble opinion (as well as 10 year of my life lost to declining having my picture taken. It is as if I did not exist in my late 30s early 40s) I regret it always!

    AWTY:flowerforyou:

    lol---I am myself. It's a for a few more months. I thinking Feb--I should be at goal!

    And looking to lose 40 pounds----no one calls me "fat lady"

    Being called the fat lady was always MY fear. Didn't mean that in a rude way to you at all. I was 110 pounds until I hit my 30's. Being 170 was HUGE to me.
  • kittyparade
    kittyparade Posts: 3
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    I hope I am posting in the right place because this is the first thing I've read since finding MFP that spoke to me. I am so sorry that I never had my picture taken with my kids when they were growing up - there are some, but not many. I'm not going to let that happen if I ever have grandchildren and I'm determined to make the lifestyle change now. I am going to be the active, fun grandma that goes places and has lots of memories and pictures.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    I hope I am posting in the right place because this is the first thing I've read since finding MFP that spoke to me. I am so sorry that I never had my picture taken with my kids when they were growing up - there are some, but not many. I'm not going to let that happen if I ever have grandchildren and I'm determined to make the lifestyle change now. I am going to be the active, fun grandma that goes places and has lots of memories and pictures.
    :heart:
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
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    This is very nice advice, I am not critizing you pre se, but you have no idea. People think this kind of stuff is sdtupid and they will ignore all requests. People constantly blatently steal copyright material, whether music, movies, or photos, all day long and think nothing of it, they share it, steal it, use it, and never pay for it, breaking federal laws all day long. You think a simple "pretty please" from someone is going to do anything? LOL. Sorry but I am very very jaded and very negative about people when it comes to this topic. People feel that they have rights that they really don't have. Possession, to them, means ownership. How many people really understand that you own zero software on your computer. You just purchased a right to use it, but you don't own it. It's a subtle but important difference. Same with music and movies and most pictures.
    I can't help you with the legal stuff/your picture being online, but I would like to make a suggestion: take a picture of you that you do like (a decent publicity pic, for example), and give it away/charge the amount that you charge for fans to take pics. If they really want a picture with you, make it clear that it's for private use only and is not allowed on the Internet. Again, this may "leave a bad taste" for parents, but if you say that you want people to respect your privacy (rather than the fact that you're embarrassed by the way you look), I think most reasonable people will be more willing to accomodate you.

    You have every right to believe what you believe, and yes, most people are like the ones that you describe; there is loads of evidence to back that up. However, I sad "most reasonable people"; just because there are so few REASONABLE or considerate people, that doesn't mean I was wrong.
  • heroyalslimness
    heroyalslimness Posts: 591 Member
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    I hope I am posting in the right place because this is the first thing I've read since finding MFP that spoke to me. I am so sorry that I never had my picture taken with my kids when they were growing up - there are some, but not many. I'm not going to let that happen if I ever have grandchildren and I'm determined to make the lifestyle change now. I am going to be the active, fun grandma that goes places and has lots of memories and pictures.

    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
    May you blessed with many grandchildren--many many happy memories
  • heroyalslimness
    heroyalslimness Posts: 591 Member
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    You have every right to believe what you believe, and yes, most people are like the ones that you describe; there is loads of evidence to back that up. However, I sad "most reasonable people"; just because there are so few REASONABLE or considerate people, that doesn't mean I was wrong.

    Your advice was super helpful--
    it's true--most of my audiences are easy-going reasonable people who love a good story.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I appreciate why you're upset, believe me. But privacy doesn't exist anymore, for ordinary people as much as for people with public careers. (Much to my regret.) Not only that - it is no longer considered reasonable by most to have an expectation of privacy.

    Agree with just generating more content to push the older stuff down, and maybe doing what you can to show your best side for photos whenever possible.

    Sucks, sorry.
  • katweeks63
    katweeks63 Posts: 59
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    Hey hun. You know that I am always on your side. I'm sure whatever you do will be the right thing. Don't feel bad over it, just do what you have to do for you. Take care of #1.

    Kids are resilient, take it from a mother of 4 and grandmother of 6, they will be fine.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    This is very nice advice, I am not critizing you pre se, but you have no idea. People think this kind of stuff is sdtupid and they will ignore all requests. People constantly blatently steal copyright material, whether music, movies, or photos, all day long and think nothing of it, they share it, steal it, use it, and never pay for it, breaking federal laws all day long. You think a simple "pretty please" from someone is going to do anything? LOL. Sorry but I am very very jaded and very negative about people when it comes to this topic. People feel that they have rights that they really don't have. Possession, to them, means ownership. How many people really understand that you own zero software on your computer. You just purchased a right to use it, but you don't own it. It's a subtle but important difference. Same with music and movies and most pictures.
    I can't help you with the legal stuff/your picture being online, but I would like to make a suggestion: take a picture of you that you do like (a decent publicity pic, for example), and give it away/charge the amount that you charge for fans to take pics. If they really want a picture with you, make it clear that it's for private use only and is not allowed on the Internet. Again, this may "leave a bad taste" for parents, but if you say that you want people to respect your privacy (rather than the fact that you're embarrassed by the way you look), I think most reasonable people will be more willing to accomodate you.

    You have every right to believe what you believe, and yes, most people are like the ones that you describe; there is loads of evidence to back that up. However, I sad "most reasonable people"; just because there are so few REASONABLE or considerate people, that doesn't mean I was wrong.

    I know. As I said, I'm super jaded having been ripped off before many times over.

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