You couldnt make it up !!!!

Listed below are excerpts from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
>Things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
>now
>published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm and
>keeping
>a straight face while these exchanges were actually taking place.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: What is your date of birth?
>A: July fifteenth.
>Q: What year?
>A: Every year
>___________________________________________________
>Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
>A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>A: Yes.
>Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>A: I forget.
>Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've
>forgotten?
>___________________________________________________
>Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
>A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>Q: How long has he lived with you?
>A: Forty-five years.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
>that
>morning?
>A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>Q: And why did that upset you?
>A: My name is Susan.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: And where was the location of the accident?
>A: Approximately milepost 499.
>Q: And where is milepost 499?
>A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
>A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
>A: After the accident?
>Q: Before the accident.
>A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
>___________________________________________________
>Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
>lights
>flashing?
>A: Yes.
>Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
>A: Yes, sir.
>Q: What did she say?
>A: What disco am I at?
>___________________________________________________
>Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
>doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>___________________________________________________
>Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
>___________________________________________________
>Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>__________________________________________________
>Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
>A: Yes.
>Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>________________________________________________
>Q: She had three children, right?
>A: Yes.
>Q: How many were boys?
>A: None.
>Q: Were there any girls?
>_________________________________________________
>Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
>A: Yes.
>Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
>_____________________________________________
>Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
>A: By death.
>Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>__________________________________________________
>Q: Can you describe the individual?
>A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>Q: Was this a male or a female?
>_________________________________________________
>Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
>notice
>that
>I sent to your attorney?
>A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>_______________________________________________
>Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>________________________________________________
>Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>A: Oral.
>_________________________________________________
>Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
>A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
>autopsy.
>_________________________________________________
>Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>_________________________________________________
>Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
>pulse?
>A: No.
>Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
>A: No.
>Q: Did you check for breathing?
>A: No.
>Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
>the
>autopsy?
>A: No.
>Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
>A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
>somewhere.
>_________________________________________________
>Judge: "Well Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give
>your
>wife $775 a week".
>Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks
>myself."