Dating

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Sminett1993
Sminett1993 Posts: 11
in Introduce Yourself
Hi
I've never had a boyfriend and I am 19 years old. I've always been kind of shy, but at 266lbs, I am even more shy. I don't know if anyone will like me because I am fat. I also have a very difficult time finding friends. Any advice on dating or finding friends would be much appreciated.

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  • Sminett1993
    Sminett1993 Posts: 11
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    Bump
  • sweet50935
    sweet50935 Posts: 7 Member
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    I know shyness can be hard to overcome, I have been there. Have you ever tried online social groups? They have ones for all interests and activities. There are alot of free ones or ones that have small annual fees like $5. As far as dating, have you ever tried any bbw dating sites or match.com? There are plenty of men that like women with meat on their bones. I am sure you are a beautiful person inside and out. Keep yourself positive and try to put yourself out there. Hope this helps.
  • davidmcgowan1987
    davidmcgowan1987 Posts: 111
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    For every person out there, someone is waiting.
    its true. I swear.
    At 350lbs i thought no one would want me with my massive man boobs, my 50 inch waist double chin i could go on for a while
    and yet my wife says she loves me everyday. whenever i feel down i ask her and she always says yes.
    if you truly hate the way you are, then change it. but more importantly change the way you feel about yourself, shoulders back, head held high, curse the nay sayers and the haters. they are just jealous that you might be happier than they are.

    and i didnt lose my virginity until i was past 20.

    plenty of time for all that stuff.

    get healthy, be happy, be yourself.
  • EllieLou357
    EllieLou357 Posts: 34 Member
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    Online dating can be an option. It is hard to find friends really good fiends. Join a clubs, new hobbies, or something that gets you out and about.
  • bostongeek
    bostongeek Posts: 80 Member
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    oh girl. :(

    If it makes you feel any better, I didn't date anyone until I was 24. I just waited until I met someone who I clicked with, and we were friends for a bit first. (I met him through a club-like thing, game night at a local comic shop.) Just put yourself out there, and frankly if someone doesn't like you because of your weight they're not worth having anyway.
  • bostongeek
    bostongeek Posts: 80 Member
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    if you truly hate the way you are, then change it. but more importantly change the way you feel about yourself, shoulders back, head held high, curse the nay sayers and the haters. they are just jealous that you might be happier than they are.

    also, this.
  • Sminett1993
    Sminett1993 Posts: 11
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    Thank you for all of your support and comments. I really appreciate it.
  • Sminett1993
    Sminett1993 Posts: 11
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    Anyone else want to ice me advice?
  • Sminett1993
    Sminett1993 Posts: 11
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    *give*
  • Sminett1993
    Sminett1993 Posts: 11
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    Bump
  • cwanek726
    cwanek726 Posts: 98 Member
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    The best advice I can give you is love yourself first. If you don't love what you look like on the outside, you can always change that, but love who you are on the inside. That alone will give you confidence and if there's anything that attracts people, no matter what you look like, it's confidence.
  • davidmcgowan1987
    davidmcgowan1987 Posts: 111
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    The best advice I can give you is love yourself first. If you don't love what you look like on the outside, you can always change that, but love who you are on the inside. That alone will give you confidence and if there's anything that attracts people, no matter what you look like, it's confidence.

    QFT!

    Mongrel dogs can be the most loyal of pets
    A beat up old car can hide a powerful reliable engine
    A fat person can be a wonderful friend/lover
    Pigs can fly

    one of those 4 things is a lie...
  • SanguineMelancholy
    SanguineMelancholy Posts: 9 Member
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    Just put yourself out there - go places and do things even if you have to do them by yourself at first. When I was younger I moved into a new city and had no friends and it took awhile for me to find any because I felt like I needed someone to go places and meet people with. Don't wait - find local events that interest you - charity events, karaoke nights, dances, conventions, school events - anything! Just go and try your best to be polite and introduce yourself. Eventually you'll start making friends, and often friends leads to something more :3
  • prairiewalker
    prairiewalker Posts: 184 Member
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    Anyone else want to ice me advice?

    See..and here I thought that was a new term I hadn't heard of since I'm "out of the loop"
    LOL
    I kind of like the expression..

    My advice that I'm going to ice you is:

    Be open to people you wouldn't normally put on your list...sometimes we rule people out too soon...
  • prairiewalker
    prairiewalker Posts: 184 Member
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    Anyone else want to ice me advice?

    See..and here I thought that was a new term I hadn't heard of since I'm "out of the loop"
    LOL
    I kind of like the expression..

    My advice that I'm going to ice you is:

    Be open to people you wouldn't normally put on your list...sometimes we rule people out too soon...
  • Marc713
    Marc713 Posts: 328 Member
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    First, I think everyone needs to actually focus on self discovery and becoming truly happy with one's self. I sincerely think you cannot be happy with someone else, until you are happy with yourself, because relying on your partner for your own happiness just puts stress on them and just isn't healthy in general. Granted, there are some folks out there that probably thrive on that codependent type relationship...I have just personally never seen them work out very well.

    I would recommend figuring out what would make you happy on your own. Do you want to lose weight? Are you happy with yourself? If not, start implementing changes that will be lasting. Make them lifestyle choices. Most likely in this journey, you will start meeting people on the same journey. Meeting like minded people with similar goals can often be the best way to find a compatible partner since you already have some things in common. As you progress, your confidence should build. Find some activities that are social and meet new friends. Join a running group, play volley ball or kick ball, go to some of the fun fitness classes where they dance for the workout. It may not be easy at first, but if you can actually stick with it, you CAN do it. This doesn't just pertain to your weight, the same can be said about your job/career. If you are unhappy at work, do something to CHANGE your situation.

    Best of luck reaching your goals!
  • prairiewalker
    prairiewalker Posts: 184 Member
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    But I just saw you were 19 so my advice changes..you're young..so take it slow..don't be in a hurry to date ... enjoy yourself and your friends then finding someone that fits in that "life" of yours is the best person to date...

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