I'm Sick and Tired of Being 291lbs

Hello everyone,

My name is Sarah and this is my 3rd profile on MFP. I know.. sounds a bit crazy but I've been struggling with my weight for years and years. Right now I'm at 291lbs. My highest weight was 300lbs. When I hit 300lbs I had a sudden reality check. I looked at my scale and said no way can an intelligent, 22yr old be this overweight. As far back as I can remember my life was all about food. My first thought in the morning was "WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST!!??" and throughout the day I'd think of what I wanted to binge for dinner. Binge eating has been a part of my life since I was about 13 or 14 years old. For those of you who don't know there are different types of binge eating. My binge eating consisted of extremely large amounts of food that were spread out through large amounts of time. I never threw up food. I LOVE food, perhaps you can say I'm addicted! Going back to my weight when I hit 300 I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I always knew that I was overweight but I never took control. I just kept thinking about what I wanted to eat and how good it was going to taste. I can honestly say that I'm not happy where my life is right now. I can't wear a bathing suit without feeling insecure. I can't ride on my favorite rides at the amusement parks because I don't fit in the seats. I don't date guys because I'm afraid that they won't accept or judge my appearance. I mean the list can go on and on. That shouldn't be the life of a 22 yr old woman. It is now fall of 2012 and I want to make a COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION! I don't want to walk into any of my college classes anymore feeling sorry for myself and feeling like everyone is staring at me. I'm tired of constantly being worried if my clothes look decent and always pulling my shirt down to try and hide widely visible fat rolls on my stomach. I want to do so many things with my life and the weight is holding me back. I'm sick and tired of the countless retail visits and sitting in the dressing rooms crying my eyes out because nothing fit. I'm sick and tired of watching all of my good looking friends have boyfriends and live the life that I want to live. Most importantly I'm sick and tired of failing myself. I've failed at so many attempt to loose weight. Even through this journey I know I'm going to make some mistakes, I'm human. But I want those mistakes to push me harder and harder every time and not become some sad girl sitting in her room scarfing down a whole bag of double stuffed Oreo's because she is depressed about her sixth failed attempt. I'm so ready for a change, a change that is going to shake my every core inside to where I will NEVER look back. I want to shut that door and seal it shut with metal blocks. But first comes first I need to come to terms with the fact that it won't just happen over night. This lifestyle change is going to be a LIFE JOURNEY. As the saying goes, "Success Isn't a door way it is a Stair Case". I'm going to have to take lots of flights with little stairs up to where i want to be in life. I know I can do this because I want it more than I've wanted anything else in my entire life. I've wanted to change my whole life but I never had the guts to do it, but now I do. I have the guts because I know that NO ONE is going to come knocking at my door and say, "Step into this machine and in 1 day you will have the rocking body of your dreams!!". Reality is that I have to change EVERY THING I knew in my old lifestyle and learn step by step, like a baby, how to live this new life. I'm going to be born again and this time It's not going to be Wonder Woman, but Wonder Sarah! I'm going to fight each and every one of my battles as best as I can one by one. I know in the end this will promise me what I want. My old life promised me a death sentence. Life is too short, I want to see a happy ending not a tragic one.

I know there's a lot of woman (College girls, Mothers, and Grandmothers) like me who are going through this process on My Fitness Pal, who have fought and tried and have failed. Now it's time for you to get back up and live the life that you want to live. I am here on this website to change my life and if you want to join me in my journey feel free to message me and friend request me. I need all the support I can get and I'm here to support you as well. Here's a little inspiration for you.. Abraham Lincoln, failed in his life 12 times before he became the President of The United States! Now if he can fail and get back up on his feet, we can too! Good luck to all of you on your journeys!!