Sibling Issues ... would like some understanding advice

If at all possible.

My sister and I have a generally good relationship (although it's been rocky in the past) --- but are pretty much polar opposites. I'm introverted and quiet, and passive -- and she's kind of the opposite. I'm also (I guess, to my estimation) more "socially awkward" then she is. She's 3 years younger than I am. This matters, because her condesending comments well, would indicate she feels some sort of dominance over me even being the younger one (speculation, not sure if that's true or not.) She's not a generally "mean" person, but she is just a different personality type than I am, I guess.

Growing up, she always had to get the best of everything first - the biggest bedroom in a new house, the front seat of the car (making me sit in the back), pretty much, she felt entitled to things that she thought were "the best", and didn't really care much about what I wanted.

Not sure if anyone is a social anxiety sufferer here, but if you truly are, then you'd understand that it takes effort and a large amount of energy in social situations just to work, just to go to school, or to commit to a social outing. Normally I can do these fine, but sometimes when i'm with my sister at these places, she kind of makes me feel more awkward and out of place. I don't believe it's intentional, but it hurts nonetheless.

So, because i'm the kind of person who keeps a lot inside and would rather "keep the peace" than start a confrontation of any kind, I don't say anything about it. I can remember on a few occasions in years and months gone past, where a few of her comments have struck me as odd or anxious, even ... not sure which, because I am not sure if she treats her friends this way, or only me.

So, a few of the scenarios (from my point of view/perception as they happened)

About two years ago, my sisters' friend, my sister, and I went out to a restaurant.. Normally, for anyone this would be a fun outing, but I suppose not for me, because well, I guess i'm "abnormal" -- or something, and I was nervous or anxious for some reason, but the waitress comes over, and stupidly I blurt out "should I pay for my own?" Yes, yes, I know, socially apt people, this was and is a perfectly ridiculous thing to blurt out, I admit, but then again I am not the first person on planet earth that has ever said something stupid.

So, after the waitress leaves, she immediately goes "WHY would you say that in front of the waitress?" and then her and her friend laugh, like "yea, what an idiot".

Okay. Well, I was upset, but I tried not to show it, because I realized it was an odd thing to say. My fault for opening my mouth, I guess.

And a few other scenarios when I was going for a walk with her, which would normally be a relaxing thing, but not for me, because apparently I can't seem to even walk correctly --- if I accidentally forget to hold the door open for someone, she points out "that's rude!" or, if I am for some reason not paying attention and perhaps enjoying the scenery, or whatever during a walk and someone steps in front of me, or I almost bump into them (rarely happens, but you know, it has a couple of times before), she's gone "do you EVEN watch where you're going?" ... even if it was their fault, and they bumped into me ...

Other times, she seems controlling and bossy; or perhaps unaware of how she comes off. Not sure. Maybe she's embarassed to be around me? I'm a Graphic Designer and also I tutor Students at a local College in Photoshop and other design programs. That is what I enjoy. She, by contrast is a makeup artist in NY. I don't know, maybe she looks down on me for it? otherwise, I can't quite figure out why I can't seem to do such mundane tasks, like walking, incorrectly.

Or at my aunt's house, a couple of years ago, when she asked me if I wanted dessert, "You're STILL hungry?"

Needless to say, after that, I was not.

Or, around my birthday in July, when we finished walking around 2 miles in the heat, and my feet were absolutely killing me because I chose the wrong pair of shoes that morning, and by the time we got to the resturant to meet my cousin and his friend at the restruant, I was beat. So I was also quiet, I guess. Before my cousin and his friend arrived to meet us there, she asked "are you going to talk?" well, at some point yes, not sure what the point of asking that was, because I always make an effort to talk as to not appear "rude" (I am not as impolite as my sisters' comments would have you believe.)

I understand the importance of social communication and that certain things must be said and done; and generally I don't believe I am really as horrible at it as she makes me feel I am. I'm not purposely rude -- just quiet. I'm actually careful about what I said and do. But around my sister i'm usually nervous and feel like I need to live up to her expectations of what I should be. It's a lot of pressure, when all I want to do is be myself and have that be good enough. I guess it's not, though. I sometimes get the feeling she is embarassed or perhaps just feels the need to talk to me as if i'm one of her kids. It's embarassing and insulting.

I would bring it up with her, but .. she's one of those defensive types who doesn't really like being wrong about things, so that's kind of difficult. She would normally turn it on me and act if I was the one insulting her. It was quite maddening.

Anyway ... am I over-thinking or over reacting? any advice or insight? or am I being completely ridiculous? I guess people can suggest the "you're being too sensitive" thing? i've heard that before.

I just wish she would treat and see me as an equal, not some person she needs to condesend to.