Why would a man do this???

emmab0902
emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
in Chit-Chat
I had a relationship with someone that ended about seven months ago, and since then was going out with someone else until a few weeks ago (the first was over before the second started!)

We ended on ok terms but I would have put a million bucks on not hearing from him again. Then the other night I get a text out of the blue from him, just chatting then he asked how my love life was. Told him it was over and asked why he had texted me. He said he had missed me.

But that isnt the weird part.

The weird part is that he said he had texted cos he had driven past my house and saw the lights on. THEN he let slip he had driven past on more than one occasion prior as he had seen a van up my drive (had some renovations done a few weeks ago).

I do NOT live on a main street - the only traffic we get is pretty much people who live in the street.

Why on earth would someone drive past their ex's house. It wasn't the love affair of the century so I am surprised to say the least!
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Replies

  • hellokathy
    hellokathy Posts: 540 Member
    Maybe he really missed you and planned to just come over and talk to you about your relationship again but chickened out? I don't think it's so creepy that he did it but I wonder why he told you about it. It's not something I would confess if I had serious hope of getting together again.
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    I'm not creeped out at all. He told me he'd driven past that night hence texted. But the other previous "drive bys" he let slip by saying he'd seen a van up my drive a few times. I just filed that one away lol.
  • eatcleanNtraindirty
    eatcleanNtraindirty Posts: 444 Member
    Does he have any friends/ work in your area?
  • miadhail
    miadhail Posts: 383 Member
    he is just playing with you. nothing more enjoyable to a sick man than making sure that he can still pull some strings and have you wondering about him.. or maybe even wanting him.
  • LeRevCooper
    LeRevCooper Posts: 122
    Stalker. call the cops.
  • Jkmumma
    Jkmumma Posts: 254
    If, in your gut, it feels creepy, it is. Trust your instincts.
  • HMToomey
    HMToomey Posts: 276
    Stalker red flag is flying.
  • arellolson
    arellolson Posts: 129 Member
    I think that he is stalking you and you should be on high alert! Creepy and alarming!
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    he is just playing with you. nothing more enjoyable to a sick man than making sure that he can still pull some strings and have you wondering about him.. or maybe even wanting him.

    oooookkkkkkkkk
  • tania2287
    tania2287 Posts: 236 Member
    I would keep a eye out for this one. To me it is creepy for a ex to be keeping a eye on your house and then about the same time you break up with your bf he text your not long after. To me he new about the relationship and new when you broke up with him. He has been STALKING you girl.

    RUN FOR THE HILLS.
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    If, in your gut, it feels creepy, it is. Trust your instincts.

    Not feeling anything creepy he is definitely not the stalker type!
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    I had a relationship with someone that ended about seven months ago, and since then was going out with someone else until a few weeks ago (the first was over before the second started!)

    We ended on ok terms but I would have put a million bucks on not hearing from him again. Then the other night I get a text out of the blue from him, just chatting then he asked how my love life was. Told him it was over and asked why he had texted me. He said he had missed me.

    But that isnt the weird part.

    The weird part is that he said he had texted cos he had driven past my house and saw the lights on. THEN he let slip he had driven past on more than one occasion prior as he had seen a van up my drive (had some renovations done a few weeks ago).

    I do NOT live on a main street - the only traffic we get is pretty much people who live in the street.

    Why on earth would someone drive past their ex's house. It wasn't the love affair of the century so I am surprised to say the least!


    Maybe you should just ask him what you're asking us.
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    I had a relationship with someone that ended about seven months ago, and since then was going out with someone else until a few weeks ago (the first was over before the second started!)

    We ended on ok terms but I would have put a million bucks on not hearing from him again. Then the other night I get a text out of the blue from him, just chatting then he asked how my love life was. Told him it was over and asked why he had texted me. He said he had missed me.

    But that isnt the weird part.

    The weird part is that he said he had texted cos he had driven past my house and saw the lights on. THEN he let slip he had driven past on more than one occasion prior as he had seen a van up my drive (had some renovations done a few weeks ago).

    I do NOT live on a main street - the only traffic we get is pretty much people who live in the street.

    Why on earth would someone drive past their ex's house. It wasn't the love affair of the century so I am surprised to say the least!


    Maybe you should just ask him what you're asking us.

    I did that was when he said he'd missed me. Which I find hard to believe!
  • trishtrish1
    trishtrish1 Posts: 71 Member
    Good instinct - stay away.

    Did the boomerang thing - he "missed me" - but he didn't value it - of course, cause I just let him walk right back in.

    Mine was bored - is why he came back. Knew he didn't have to court, wanted to pick up where we left off.

    Stay away. :)
  • 13inchestogo
    13inchestogo Posts: 296 Member
    Sounds to me like he is the stalker type. Lol. Any one who drives by an exes house and observes it enough to notice a van in your driveway lights on etc. Usually means he took time to observe your house, the cars parked in your driveway, and whether your lights were on. That is plain freaky especially if you don't live on a main street. Did he break it off or did you?

    My cousins ex was similar. He would drive by her house, her new boyfriends house, text her. Then out of the blue shot her new boyfriend in the head and shot himself... the boyfriend was miraculously ok just missed his brain but the ex died. I KNOW that everyone is different and that you may not be creeped out or think that would ever happen but neither did she. I sincerely hope it is nothing. But strange and terrible **** happens when people become possessive and jealous. I may be biased towards these types of situations but please just be careful :(
  • chu604
    chu604 Posts: 353 Member
    That is creepy as **** yo!
    I would never EVER be doing "drive bys" of some chicks house no matter how much I liked or loved her
    maybe if i had to like set a situation straight and she wasnt answering my calls but id be going to talk not to "drive by"

    also on more than one occasion?
    that right there is fuk'T. who knows how many times this guy has been creepin

    I would calmly and politely see what the heck is up with this dude and let him down easy
    then be on the lookout ...

    this is just going by what you have said, you're the one who knows him. maybe he is just CRAZY in love or somethin...

    from my point a view that is stage 5 clinger! (stalker status!)
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
    Remember the good old days when stalkers used to have the word STALKER stamped across their foreheads? When all creepers had foreign accents (when I was little the bad guys in cartoons usually had accents :( )?? If it were that easy there would be fewer victims...

    Um... If someone is on my block but doesn't need to be...

    If someone is checking out my house and doesn't live there...

    If someone just happens to know I've broken up with someone but I haven't told him...

    I had a 'best friend' for many years who I had no idea was obsessed. He propositioned me and then snapped one day when I said I had never been interested. And, no, there was no alcohol involved. He just went straight looney tunes... He totally came unhinged.

    What kind of running shoes do you own? I'd be reserving a U-Haul...
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Shortcut off the main road?
  • subtlewhisper
    subtlewhisper Posts: 31 Member
    If, in your gut, it feels creepy, it is. Trust your instincts.

    Not feeling anything creepy he is definitely not the stalker type!

    Which type isn't he? There are five kinds.

    http://www.self-defense-mind-body-spirit.com/stalker.html

    I would check this out too;

    http://mrsstungun.com/article_6/Is-He-Stalking-You-Identify-Stalking-Behavior.htm
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Drunk texting.
  • Sick_Beard
    Sick_Beard Posts: 407 Member
    He is just checking to see if you are having company...
  • caslyn3
    caslyn3 Posts: 70 Member
    Stalker. call the cops.

    I was going to post this.. But, you beat me too it!
  • addaline22
    addaline22 Posts: 114
    That is obbsessive behavior. If it doesnt stop with in the week, call the cops and mention you have a stalker, bacause that is what is starting. He could be the nicest guy in the world until hes not getting what he wants or a return of what he thinks he feels. You are going to feel like you can tell hhim to stop and make him listen, but it probably wont work. It reinforces his 'bad'(stalking) behavior because it means you are paying him attention. Scary, no?
  • FireTigerSoul
    FireTigerSoul Posts: 268 Member
    Stay away! Ask him to stop driving by your house. It's creepy. I had an ex-boyfriend who was a complete narcissist and about a year after we broke up he hacked into my Facebook account....I assume to see what I was up to and if I was in a relationship. Why else would you hack into somebody's Facebook account? He could have been doing it for ages, but I guess Facebook had just implemented that security feature that lets you know where someone logged in. It's a confidence boost to guys to know that they can get you back (or get you to talk to them) any time they want. Make it very clear to him that it's never, ever going to happen. And get it in writing that you told him to stop driving by your house.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    If, in your gut, it feels creepy, it is. Trust your instincts.

    Not feeling anything creepy he is definitely not the stalker type!

    Sounds to me like you still like him too, and you are asking for some reassurance as to what to do??
  • addaline22
    addaline22 Posts: 114
    If, in your gut, it feels creepy, it is. Trust your instincts.

    Not feeling anything creepy he is definitely not the stalker type!

    Which type isn't he? There are five kinds.

    http://www.self-defense-mind-body-spirit.com/stalker.html

    I would check this out too;

    http://mrsstungun.com/article_6/Is-He-Stalking-You-Identify-Stalking-Behavior.htm
    decent links, but the whole point is, anyone can start this behavior without warning or any signs. Be aware and be careful.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    He just wants to have sex with you, and he was worried that if you were seeing someone else, he wouldn't be able. to.
  • Ms_Steel
    Ms_Steel Posts: 125
    I like to stalk.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    He just wants to have sex with you, and he was worried that if you were seeing someone else, he wouldn't be able. to.

    Good point. I suspect most questions women have about guys can be reduced to this.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    He just wants to have sex with you, and he was worried that if you were seeing someone else, he wouldn't be able. to.

    Maybe he misses the conversations too!!! It`s not always about sex, maybe he thinkis the other guy in the van is a smooth talker??

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