Broke up
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You are a smart one to leave and not hang on as a 'friend' hoping he'll change his mind. I commend you for showing that you know you are worth more than that.
This while simple is so powerful! Do not and I mean do NOT fall for that BS! Of course, the dumper ALWAYS wants to stay friends. Here's why:
1. They'll use you for sex while they get their next victim.
2. They'll come back to you of plan A fails! You're better that.0 -
I am so sorry dear. Unfortunately there are no words that will make anything better right now. I do promise you though that after some time you will be okay although I may not seem like it now.
I swear I remember driving down Pineville Road in Charlotte NC 19 years ago thinking that I would never be over a certain someone and never love anyone else again. Little did I know that there was something way better for me down the road. There is a really good chance this is exactly what is going to happen for you as well.
I do want to also suggest some nutritional drinks as you may come to a point where you do not want to eat. It is very important that you get some nutrition in you.0 -
This might be long....
This happen to me about 2 years ago, except we was not engage and it was my decision but we was together for 3 years and we lived and DID EVERYTHING together. You know when the vibe between two people change and you know you should not be together anymore but you just either praying that things will get back to the way there were or either he will have the balls to do the breaking up. Well he cheated and that was my last straw so I broke up with him (I didn't really want to)..but I did and we try to be "friends" which gave me hopes thinking he changed and we would get back together, I found myself asking him should we get back together and he kept avoiding the question. Then I asked him was there someone else he flat out said no, then one week later his things was completely gone and I was stuck like chuck.
advise 1) don't buy into that we should be friend crap...cut any ties (trust me)!
2) Surround yourself with friends AT ALL TIME or keep busy so you won't have time to feel weak and call him
3) DO NOT CALL HIM!!
4) do not seek no answer (TRUST ME THERE IS NO ANSWER THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER)
5) When everybody tell you that you will be ok and things will get better BELIEVE IT!!
After my little situation happen and I kind of sort of moved on, I decided to not jump into in a relation I Focus in school (Bio major)
and time flew by, a year of the single life, I met a guy that I cannot even compare to my ex..HE IS TRULY AMAZING!! I had to believe that God has something better plan for me and wait for it...WAIT PATIENTLY for it during that time work on yourself. Also my ex tried to come back to me and I always had the mentality hurt me once shame on you hurt me twice shame on me. I refuse to let anyone get a 2nd chance at hurting me. Hope that wasn't too long....TRUST me after you become a nurse and you working its going be like a wait have lifted off your shoulder....
Oh I also worked out and watched a lot of Netflix movies...:) *chin-up girly***
Totally agree! I am not going to be anyone's maybe. I feel as if I deserve more than that. I am by no means perfect. But I love and give all that I have. At this point I think he should know whether or not he wants to be with me and he is just afraid to cut me loose if something out there isn't better. I am not gonna stick around and be anyone's second choice!!0 -
I am so sorry. I hope you are able to move forward, and see this as a blessing.0
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You are young and life is just beginning for you. Focus on your career and securing your future. You will meet more people. This is not the only man out there. You will know when it's right. A lot of times people get stuck in relationships that aren't fulfilling because they become a habit more than anything. Things will work out for you. If it's meant to be, you will get back together. You can't force it if one of you aren't feeling it. I know this sounds a bit harsh, but you will be ok. This comes from a 43 year old woman who has been married for almost 23 years and is still happily married. Stay positive and know that this too shall pass. Hang in there...0
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Do yourself a favor and remove him from your profile pic! YUCK!!! not you though....
DONE AND DONE!0 -
This happened to me as well. The only thing that has helped me along is time. I'm so sorry you are going through this. But better he does this now and not when you were married. I've been through a divorce and that was terrible even with me being the one to file.
Good luck! The best advice I can give you, and this might be a little bitter sounding, you have to look out for you. No one else is going to. Make sure you need to do whatever makes YOU happy always.
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Do yourself a favor and remove him from your profile pic! YUCK!!! not you though....
DONE AND DONE!
And for your own good, remove him from everywhere!
I suggest you go to this site too:
Lovesagame.com click on breakup recovery. It's helped me a lot.0 -
Since you are so close to being done school, couldn't you live separately together until December. If he doesn't have someone in the wings this shouldnt be a problem. I guarantee you though no matter how broken hearted you are there IS something so much better out there for you and you WILL have a great life. Wish someone would have told me I wasted so much valuable time. Sometimes when you are so in love with someone it is you are I'm love with what you thought they were.0
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Since you are so close to being done school, couldn't you live separately together until December. If he doesn't have someone in the wings this shouldnt be a problem. I guarantee you though no matter how broken hearted you are there IS something so much better out there for you and you WILL have a great life. Wish someone would have told me I wasted so much valuable time. Sometimes when you are so in love with someone it is you are I'm love with what you thought they were.0
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I am so sorry dear. Unfortunately there are no words that will make anything better right now. I do promise you though that after some time you will be okay although I may not seem like it now.
I swear I remember driving down Pineville Road in Charlotte NC 19 years ago thinking that I would never be over a certain someone and never love anyone else again. Little did I know that there was something way better for me down the road. There is a really good chance this is exactly what is going to happen for you as well.
I do want to also suggest some nutritional drinks as you may come to a point where you do not want to eat. It is very important that you get some nutrition in you.
Yes the nutrition drinks are a very good idea. I'm sorry things didn't work out like you thought they would. Put yourself first. You have worked very hard to get where you are. Nursing school is tough which proves you are also:-) You have an awesome future ahead of you! If you can move back home it would be ideal. Then you won't have to focus so much on everyday bills and the like. My sister is going through this now except she was married for 25 years and has five grown kids who all but one ended up hurt by it. It is a good thing he did this now before children came into your relationship. Somewhere is the perfect man for you and when the time is right it will happen. God bless!0 -
I am very sorry for what happened, but I just felt the need to let you know that I am in the same situation! My fiancé and I met at Oregon State, we graduated last year, and I got into nursing school in Pennsylvania. He moved across the country with me and told me that he's moving back to Oregon. As you can imagine, dealing with school, working full time, and trying to move hasn't been the easiest, financially or emotionally.
You will pull through; it's hard initially, but after some time passes, everything will be OK. Make sure that you focus on school though! You've worked really hard to get into nursing school, so don't let your ex-fiance really ruin your life!
Best of luck!0 -
Do yourself a favor and remove him from your profile pic! YUCK!!! not you though....
I so agree with this! It helps so much.0 -
i'm very sorry to hear this. the same thing happened to me in 2007. it's difficult, but it's not the end of the world. the good part is that it's the beginning of your new life.0
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awww no I'm SO sorry to hear that You think when you are engaged to someone that you are gonna be with them the rest of your life to come home one day and he not want to be with you, that's terrible If you need a stranger to talk to I'm here message me Feel free to add me if you want I was with my ex for 10 years before we split We had to separate everything Hang in there It will be better in time It can take a while but keep yourself distracted And talk to anyone who will listen0
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Do yourself a favor and remove him from your profile pic! YUCK!!! not you though....
DONE AND DONE!
Change your "about me" stuff also? Cause now it can be just about you, for you:-)0 -
I am very sorry for what happened, but I just felt the need to let you know that I am in the same situation! My fiancé and I met at Oregon State, we graduated last year, and I got into nursing school in Pennsylvania. He moved across the country with me and told me that he's moving back to Oregon. As you can imagine, dealing with school, working full time, and trying to move hasn't been the easiest, financially or emotionally.
You will pull through; it's hard initially, but after some time passes, everything will be OK. Make sure that you focus on school though! You've worked really hard to get into nursing school, so don't let your ex-fiance really ruin your life!
Best of luck!
Oh wow. I'm sorry to hear that. I am also in nursing school in PA. It sure is tough but I am so close to being done.
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He may have found some one on the side. Do what you need to do ands one day you will find out why he did this. you got this!0
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First, I wanna say I'm so very sorry for yur heart right now.Please stop,take a deep breath and try to look at this as a possiable blessing ,painful ..yes...but better to hurt now than look back 10 yrs from an unhappy marriage. Pick up yur broken heart and move forward,...you maybe crying but soon you will be filled w/ anger ,..and the best thing to do is move forward,complete school,hold ya head up mama!,..deep down you know u are strong & can get through this.It will be tuff at first,in 3wks it'll be alot better,keep up the good wrk om MFP,....dont drown yur sorrows in a chocolate cake,do an angry wrk out(running or kick boxing)~hang in there best wishes
She took the words right out of my mouth....In my book you dodged a bullet, that would hurt more after marriage than finding out before. When this happened to me I was pregnant with our second child and married. It darn near took the life out of me. I survived and I'm happier now than I ever was. I honestly believe women are just built to survive pretty much everything thrown at us 0 -
sorry to hear that. I've had the sudden thing happen to me before as well. Hugs to ya. You'll bounce back stronger and tougher then ever and yeah...better now then later cause it potentially could be worse0
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I've actually been in a similar situation before in my life, but I was on the other end of things. I was once dating a girl for five years, and over the course of the relationship we too had become engaged. During the last two years of our relationship, there were several things that I noticed that had started to change in her. She began to let herself go physically, which soon led to resentment for my desire to stay in shape. On top of that, she began to get overly jealous of anyone that I would give attention to other than her (even family members). Eventually, I ended the relationship, and was surprised by all of the mixed emotions that came with the decision. I felt guilty for giving up on someone I'd been with for so long, and yet unsure how I'd get used to her not being around. Plus, I was confused on how things that once seemed so perfect ended up taking such a nose dive in the end.
Now, that I look back on the situation, I've realized that a situation that once felt entirely negative ended up being a blessing in disguise. It was a chance to take certain aspects of my life, and start fresh. I would eventually go on to meet new people, pursue new-found interests, and ultimately leading a happier life in general. After all of that, it would've been easy to look back on things, and think that I wasted five years of my life. Yet, I don't have any regrets about it at all. I learned a lot through that relationship, and may not be who I am today without that experience under my belt.
I know that every person is different, but I think you'll eventually find that a lot of the old cliches are true. Everything happens for a reason. Time truly can heal all wounds, and when one door closes...another opens. Things like this are never easy to go through, but keep your chin up. Keep smiling, and I think you're going to be just fine. I know that it can sometimes help to talk to someone outside of the situation, and if you ever feel the need to do so - feel free to drop me a line on here anytime
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Congratulations on finishing your nursing degree soon! You are on your way to a wonderful career.
You know things happen for a reason (I'm sure someone has said this already- I didn't read all other replies) and yes, better before marriage than after.
Also, your new career will afford you the opportunity to meet new people; maybe your perfect match who will appreciate you for all that you are!0 -
Everyone on here is awesome! I really appreciate all the support and encouragement everyone is giving me. It helps me to know that others have been through this. Even though I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Heartbreak is a part of life and I will move on and probably be better for it. If anyone wants to add me...feel free! I need all the friends I can get right now.0
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It's really sad that this happened. I don't know how I would handle it, but one suggestion that I would try is be thankful he figured it out now instead of after the wedding happened. I know it's probably not the greatest advice, but that's what I would try to do.0
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I'm so sorry. But if he isn't sure then maybe you will be better off and meet your soulmate. I say his loss.0
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I'm so sorry for your heart break
I went through the same thing a week before I was supposed to marry him...3 years later, I got married to a wonderful man:) The sun will come out, I promise 0 -
The important thing is to realize that your happiness depends on YOU and YOU only. You don't need a man or a woman to make you happy. They are a complement to your happy life. During break ups we tend to feel miserable because we think that our happiness depends on them. False.
Also, choose to be great despite the circumstances. The other option is to be miserable because of the circumstances. Time to look in the mirror and love yourself!0 -
Although it might be a bit early for this piece of advice, get better rather than bitter. Recognize that the failure of the relationship is not a personal failure. Take time to heal yourself and look to the future, not the past.0
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the one piece of advice i will give you is to stay classy. you're probably pretty emotional right now, which is completely understandable...but dont lash out at him, or do/say things that you will regret. you want to walk away from this with your head held high, and five years from now, you dont want to look back and think "wow i handled that really immaturely."0
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I'm going through the exact same thing right now. We are from the UK but we were living in NZ.
He basically doesn't want me anymore and there was no love shown my way anymore. Everything else was more important.
I have flown home, sorted a job, and just waiting to move into my new home next Monday. So my whole life is changing.
I have been living with parents for 2 months in limbo and it has been so stressful, in everyones way..
It is extremely heartbreaking and sad, but I know it is for the best.
I have been strong, but know that when I move next week it is going to hit me, and hard. :-(
This site is a blessing for me, because it is something to take my mind off things. Thats what you need, try and be strong each day, life will get easier, it is hard and upsetting, but now you will be moving on to the next chapter of your life, good things will be on their way :-)
If you need a friend, please add me, I need all the friends I can get myself right now
xxxx0
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