New to MFP; anyone else have gym anxiety?

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greatthatsgreat
greatthatsgreat Posts: 36 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi, all:

I don't know if this is the appropriate place to post this, but I am new to MFP and my goal is approximately 100lbs. I'm a 31 year old lady, and I currently weigh 238lbs (down from 240lbs -- it's the little things!) at 5'5". I guess I'm looking for any support, because I have severe anxiety about going to the gym. I've been to the gym many times in the past, but have a lot of anxiety about the general atmosphere, particularly as a larger person.

Suggestions? Support? Advice? My weight loss is not simply geared at transforming my body, but also my perspective and emotional/mental stability. I am a recovering alcoholic (thanks for the extra weight, excessive beer drinking!), and I acknowledge the importance of counseling/therapy (which I am undergoing). I would be happy to have any gentle push.

I eat healthily, and rarely do I dine out. I'm cautious about sugars, and never, ever drink soda. I have just begun walking to and from work every day (approximately 2 miles each way), but I imagine that as my weight loss journey progresses, I'll want to add other activities to my routine. So are there other people out there who are/were initially gym-phobic? And how do you get beyond that? Thank you!
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Replies

  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I have a gym anxiety. My solution: Don't go to the gym.

    Everything you can do at a gym, you can do in your own home, or outside. Read up on body weight strength training and do something you enjoy and doesn't require equipment for your cardio!

    Most importantly: Have fun. If it turns into a chore, you're going to end up quitting before you reach any goals.
  • tinad120
    tinad120 Posts: 267 Member
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    I used to be a gym-phobe, but I just realized, I don't give a damn. I go to the gym for me and MY goals, not for anyone else in there. And I've also told myself that no one cares what I do, so whatevs.

    But if you like, work out at home until you get the confidence/courage to go to the gym.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
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    I have bad social anxiety so the gym sometimes freaks me out. I avoid the free weight section and have opted instead to take a lifting class offered free with my membership. The cardio area doesn't bother me, I put on my headphones and ignore everyone. But even at first that was scary. I started by walking my dogs and setting distance vs time goals and then would beat it the next day.
  • Bubble65
    Bubble65 Posts: 11
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    I too have this problem and the only advice I've been given is not to worry what other people think which is easier said than done. The only thing that I thought might help would be a gym "buddy". However no one I knows wants to go to the gym either. So I've got a personal trainer. It's a little expensive but she comes to my house, puts me through my paces and is a great person. I think it's worth it although I don't think I'm going to be able to afford it in the long term. She has said she will come to the gym with me and we'll also be going walking as my fitness improves. Don't know if this helps.
  • shelsab
    shelsab Posts: 138 Member
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    I think there is always a little anxiety about going to do new things when you are new to them and they are out of your element. But one thing I remember when I go to the gym is I go for MYSELF. No one else. I also make a joke when I talk to my friends about the gym who dress up and put makeup on to go to the gym. I put my blinders on, I look at no one and I hope no one looks at me. I enjoy being there and doing what I came to do. I personally do not go to talk and meet people, I want to get in and out. My mom started going to the gym about a month ago and it took a lot of convincing for her to get a gym membership. She was feeling like it was out of her element and she was really self conscience about being over weight. No one should be there to judge you. If anything you know where you went wrong and you are fixing it. Just remember this is for you and think to the future. When you get to certain points in your journey you will realize how far you have came. I have came so far from where I used to be. I am confident and happy about the person I am. Plus I am the only one in control of my life. If I am still at the same weight next month, it is my own fault. I say go to the gym and put your blinders on. Get some good music and dance to your own beat. You will see the benefits in the future. And if you find classes that you enjoy, keep doing them. I know I loved when I found classes where an hour of working out went by so fast because I was having fun.
  • bimpski
    bimpski Posts: 176 Member
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    i had a lot of gym anxiety too. years ago when i first started going i only took the aerobics classes. i walked straight through the gym to the aerobics room with my head down. as i lost weight, i gained confidence. after a year of two, i was on the gym floor, still anxious but not nearly as bad. i hired a personal trainer and learned how to use the machines and with this i gained even more confidence. it just takes time. but you have to take the first step.
  • MidlifeGlowUp
    MidlifeGlowUp Posts: 91 Member
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    I don't have gym anxiety. I just don't like the gym. I, therefore, do the vast majority of my workouts at home or outside. I've discovered that I like cycling, inline skating and cold weather runs (so different from running in the summer months). I invested in the insanity workout, and only use my gym membership for group exercise sessions like spinning and Zumba, mostly during inclement weather.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    ^^ good advice, about keeping it fun.

    But I want to relate my own story. I had gym-phobia too. In the beginning of my journey (237 lbs) I only walked. That was perfect for me at the time. Then I started losing, got about 20 lbs off, decided to try a couch-to-5k, also really liked it and it suited my needs. Kept losing.

    When I got a heart rate monitor, that's when I joined a gym. Because I realized I could get my heart rate a lot higher on the elliptical. So I proceeded to use the gym *only* to use the elliptical.

    I got to my goal weight that way. But I wasn't thrilled with the results I got. I was slimmer, but the body that had been revealed wasn't shaped how I envisioned it.

    All the lady friends I found on MFP who *did* have the physique I craved had somethiing in common: they all lifted weights.

    I resisted. I didn't want to. I felt scared of going into what I perceived to be the "boys" section of the gym.


    And then I did it. I was nervous and I felt awkward and I felt like everyone was looking at me.
    But now, 11 weeks later, I am SO happy with the changes in my body I have seen. I really wish I got over it sooner and got into lifting sooner. I really really like it.

    It's easy to say, "don't be scared" but I know that's hard advice to follow. I can just say, it's WORTH it.
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    No one will be judging you for your size while you are at the gym. We will judge you when you stuff your face with a massive burger, but not when you are going and working your butt off at the gym. We will be be awed and impressed at your resolve.

    That being said, exercise where you are comfortable or you won't keep it up. Try Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred (DVD or on youtube), try zumba, pilates, kickboxing, or whatever gets you going while in the privacy of your own home. Pick up a couple of kettlebells, dumbells, and resistance bands. Look up workouts on google or youtube. You can get yourself set up pretty easily and save money on the gym membership too!

    I don't like all of the home workouts because I am embarrased to do them in front of my husband. I would do them with him, but not while he sits and watches lol.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Hey Fat Girl... Read this.... http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

    I also despised the gym. Serious fear, I passed out the first time I tried going *LOL* The solution that worked for me was to hire a personal trainer to show me the ropes on EVERYTHING.... gym etiquette (it's foreign to those of us new to the gym), what to do, proper form, etc....

    But, I don't agree that the anxiety is a reason not to go. Find a way over it and pat yourself on the back once you've done so.
  • TeresaWash
    TeresaWash Posts: 283
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    I weighed 400+ pounds when I started. Was treated great. People don't "all" look at you like your just a fat person. I have found them to be amazingly encouraging and supportive. They see you are working at change, and I think most of them give you credit for that. There are the chosen few who are just *kitten*. Fortunately I don't care!

    Don't let anyone or anything stop you from going to the gym. It is such an important part of the weight loss equation.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Honestly, when I see a very overweight person exercising, all I think is "good for them". The person who is going to judge you the most harshly is yourself. I know it's hard to get past that, but it will get easier the more you do it.

    When I first started swimming laps, I had no idea what I was doing. I was slower than someone twice my age, winded after 3 laps, and my form was TERRIBLE. I was really embarrassed, but nobody did anything to single me out or make me feel uncomfortable. I was just another person trying to improve my quality of life. I eventually got comfortable enough to ask some questions, and before I moved away from my rec centre I was one of the few people who had the endurance to stay for the full swim.

    I know not everyone can just grit their teeth and plow through feelings of anxiety - I know how paralyzing they can be, having dealt with panic attacks for years - but please trust me when I say that it really is something that will get so easy, so fast.
  • liketheseaa
    liketheseaa Posts: 23
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    I had majorly gym anxiety until I found one where I am truly comfortable. A friend invited me to come try a Zumba class and I was SO nervous! When I got there I saw how diverse the group of people was and felt a bit more comfortable. I still have a bit of anxiety about working out solo, but try joining a class. There's going to be people who are in a better and worse place than you, but I think you will find that everyone supports you in your journey. Everyone at a gym had to start somewhere! I love my gym and I NEVER thought I would hear myself say that!
  • RobertCu
    RobertCu Posts: 33 Member
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    Forget the gym. Buy yourself a good pair of walking shoes and go out walking for 30-60 minutes.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
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    I once sat in the gym parking lot for 2 hours before giving up and going home. Even worse, I have turned around in the parking lot and gone to a drive through before. It takes time but it goes away as you gain confidence. Just keep trying.

    For a year I went to the gym at 4:30 am just because it was empty.

    Now, I practically own the place. Just don't give up.
  • mamabear0222
    mamabear0222 Posts: 455 Member
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    I used to be a gym-phobe, but I just realized, I don't give a damn. I go to the gym for me and MY goals, not for anyone else in there. And I've also told myself that no one cares what I do, so whatevs.

    But if you like, work out at home until you get the confidence/courage to go to the gym.

    ^^ this exactly

    I had a huge anxiety so I walked outside all summer and worked up the nerve. Decided if I could dedicate myself to 3x a week min I'd join a gym in the fall.

    I just started at the gy m 2.5 weeks ago ... i go about 4-5 times a week and i love it
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I can tell you from personal experience, NO ONE JUDGES YOU AT THE GYM.

    The majority of people are very supportive and they think you are better off than the population that isn't trying.

    When i first started i never was made fun of, or anything.

    Just go, once you get the feel for it, you will never want to stop going.
  • dylsmom99
    dylsmom99 Posts: 32 Member
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    I'm right there with you sista!!,, i joined gym in march,,, was so embarrassed that people would look at my rolls or hear my fat bounce,,,, i hide at the machines against the wall... never have anyone behimd me,,, then i started to realize noone is looking at me,,, at all,,, everyone is focused on themselves or flirting with the skinny scrawny chicks or the obviously widowed men, noone was caring about the fat chick,,,,, that worked,, i was invisible and i know it,,,,, took me 6 months to get in pool cause i was afraid people would see me,,, but then i realized all the old people couldn't see without their glasses anyway..... took me another 3 months to get on rowing machine cause its in the front row of cardio section,,,,,, and ya know what,, they still don't look at me,,, but shh,, i look at them,,, i make up funny stories about people and it makes me laugh,,,, and i have my own fun,,, ( who's sleeping with who,, who wants to ,,,, who has funky peircings,,). make your own fun and focus on you,,,,, noone else is!!
  • mstanich08
    mstanich08 Posts: 6
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    I get where you're coming from with the gym anxiety. Before I lost weight, any time my sister suggested I go to the gym with her, I would always come up with an excuse. And the reality of it is, some people are just more insecure than others, no matter what the scale says (I am one of those people).

    But, as much as I see where you're coming from, I can honestly say I have never seen a larger person running outside, working out at a gym, etc and thought anything even slightly negative about them. The first thing that pops in my head is "Good for them!". If anything, I give "larger people" who work out in public more credit than the average person. That person may have put aside some very strong "fears" of what other people may think just to even step foot out the door...and that shows some serious strength. And most importantly, it shows true commitment to obtaining a healthier lifestyle...and that should be applauded, no matter what their size is. :smile:
  • OkieinMinny
    OkieinMinny Posts: 834 Member
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    But, I don't agree that the anxiety is a reason not to go. Find a way over it and pat yourself on the back once you've done so.

    I 100% agree with this I have had major anxiety issues before heading into a class, onto machines and recently into the weight room - I talked myself out of it more times than not BUT once I went in (and was shakin the whole time) I Got so much more than a workout - I got more confidence and the more I go the more confidence and sure of myself I get - just know that A LOT of people have that exact same fear ....You can do it!! I agree with Hoss also - pick a slow time at the gym to start if that helps and build from there!

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