Newly divorced...
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When I met my wife (current) we had both been divorced and she already had a son. She was awesome and when I met her son I came to love him too. His "doner" checked out and I adopted him when he was 5. He is now almost 12 and our daughter is 6. If you get a good guy and the right guy the kids will only make things better. You are very attractive and seem to be funny and easy going so you should have no trouble getting back in the game.
Just take your time, don't rush and make sure whoever you choose is worthy of not just you but your kids too and accepts them also. Good luck!! 0 -
When I met my wife (current) we had both been divorced and she already had a son. She was awesome and when I met her son I came to love him too. His "doner" checked out and I adopted him when he was 5. He is now almost 12 and our daughter is 6. If you get a good guy and the right guy the kids will only make things better. You are very attractive and seem to be funny and easy going so you should have no trouble getting back in the game. Just take your time, don't rush and make sure whoever you choose is worthy of not just you but your kids too and accepts them also. Good luck!!
Good dad and good advice.0 -
Thanks everyone...but ready for the REAL kicker??? Wait for it...my 3 year old has Downs Syndrome, and a different "sperm donor" than my 19 month old (I say sperm donor cause her "dad" hasn't seen her since she was 3 weeks old). One thing I won't take from the soon to be ex husband is he stepped up and fathered her when my ex wouldn't - that's a man.0
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that is a man...I will give him credit for that0
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That's a lot more to take on and you will have to find a special guy who can handle a special needs kid. Not saying some won't step up, but as a father of a special, I know it is no easy thing to commit your life to and be able to handle.0
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I agree with the advice about NOT rushing into anything new. Take some time to get used to being on your own, and decide what you want in the next one so you don't make the same mistakes (assuming there had to be some mistakes). Also, please don't let your kids meet the guys you are dating until you are SURE you are going to be in a relationship. Kids want attachment and it is hard on them to have people come and go. I know you know this, but figured it could not hurt to reinforce by saying it again. And finally, have fun!!! You get to be on your own for a while. Enjoy it!! This is the start of a great new adventure for you. Cheers!0
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From one 26 year old single mom of two(one of whom is a special needs child) nursing student to another, CONGRATS! Getting divorced was the BEST thing I have ever done. Celebrate, find a new routine and only good things will follow.
annnd, find a man that DESERVES to be in your children's lives. They are the gifts here, not just speed bumps on the road to dating. Alway always put them first!0 -
the kids will make dating tough. Nobody really wants someone else's baggage. I was lucky to find a kid free 30 year old when I finally decided to settle down. We both agreed it is tough to find non-divorced and non-parents these days.
Really?! What a tool... I see you're a real role model for you son, huh?
OP- you sound like you have things going for you so I'm sure you'll be fine 0 -
wow! im going thru a divorce too! in the final stages-just waiting for the papers. i have two small children and am currently going back to school so i can support them. ive wondered this too!! (:0
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beautiful, intelligent and a great sense of humor and a great mom...thats a guys dream woman there0
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sorry, I'm feeling impatient and didn't read through all of these... while I don't have kids, I think I'd say finding a guy isn't the issue. Finding a guy that doesn't have some weird deal breaker... that is..
I was with the same guy all of my adult life (and some high school as well) so I feel ya! It's hard getting adjusted to not being part of a couple. Trust me.. guys will hit on you. They have no shame lol.
But then you'll find out that they've been unemployed for 3 years and don't plan on changing that.... or they want to move CRAZY fast or they have 8 children with 6 moms.0 -
If you find out lemme know. I hear you have to put out on the first date?0
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the kids will make dating tough. Nobody really wants someone else's baggage. I was lucky to find a kid free 30 year old when I finally decided to settle down. We both agreed it is tough to find non-divorced and non-parents these days.
I totally disagree with this post! Girl you go for it. I was married and had one child through it. separated but couldnt afford a divorce, and got with someone else who i sadly fell too hard for. got pregnant with him. he left because i wouldnt abort our daughter. yeah i know right? well i remained single the entire pregnancy and started raising the 2 girls on my own, then found a bf who was short term, but then found my new husband. we are now married as of a week ago tomorrow, and i have three kids now.
having kids will NOT hold you back. You go for it. just be yourself and find someone who will love you and your children regardless of your past, flaws, etc!0 -
Oh don't get me wrong. I didn't let kids get in the way of me sleeping with their moms. I just wasn't about to stick around and raise a Brady Bunch.
I am sure you can find some guy who will though.
WOW WAY TO MAKE THE ENTIRE MALE POPULATION LOOK LIKE GARBAGE WHEN THERE ARE LIKE 8 OTHER MEN ON HERE SAYING THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE. I APPLAUD YOUR IDIOCRACY.0 -
They say 50% of marriages (US/Canada) end in a divorce and that 2/3 of divorces are
initiated by women. With a divorce rate like that your sure to find another husband if you so desire.0 -
Thanks everyone...but ready for the REAL kicker??? Wait for it...my 3 year old has Downs Syndrome, and a different "sperm donor" than my 19 month old (I say sperm donor cause her "dad" hasn't seen her since she was 3 weeks old). One thing I won't take from the soon to be ex husband is he stepped up and fathered her when my ex wouldn't - that's a man.
read my first post dear. i have three now with three different men, but the only one who stepped up are my ex bf and my now husband. Good luck to you, and please do not let negative people stop you from pursuing your happiness. feel free to add me as a friend if you would like. i have been through practically everything you can name off and my life is going well now, and as i said im married again!0 -
Thanks everyone...but ready for the REAL kicker??? Wait for it...my 3 year old has Downs Syndrome, and a different "sperm donor" than my 19 month old (I say sperm donor cause her "dad" hasn't seen her since she was 3 weeks old). One thing I won't take from the soon to be ex husband is he stepped up and fathered her when my ex wouldn't - that's a man.
OK you lost me there.....
But I have been married 20 years since I was 24... and my stepson is 28 now so it did not stop me!! 0 -
You're gorgeous. You got this.
Stop it. :blushing: lol0 -
Agreed, so beautiful, the right one will come along soon. Your smile is infectious, you must be so fun to be around. Best of luck to you, I am sure you won't need it. :-)0
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wow! im going thru a divorce too! in the final stages-just waiting for the papers. i have two small children and am currently going back to school so i can support them. ive wondered this too!! (:
We can be new, online bff's lol!0 -
If you find out lemme know. I hear you have to put out on the first date?
This is news to me....0 -
The transition from being married to being single is tough (and I don't even have children, so i can't really speak on how much tougher that would be), .....BUT you are fabulous and you are strong! You got this! Just don't rush out the gate too soon..........speaking from experience.......you might regret it; give yourself and your kids whatever time you need to adjust to your new lives - - and HAVE FUN!0
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You're a jerk.the kids will make dating tough. Nobody really wants someone else's baggage. I was lucky to find a kid free 30 year old when I finally decided to settle down. We both agreed it is tough to find non-divorced and non-parents these days.0 -
tuck the kids in and lets do this0
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After seeing many of my family and friends go bat**** crazy after a divorce, my advice is to try to focus on your kids and try to build a good support network of friends to spend time with. A good hobby should help also.
Being here and focusing on your health and fitness is a great positive channel for any emotions you might be dealing with also.
Good luck to you! 0 -
You should feel relieved already....0
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I'm 32, never married, and have no children. I've been spending time focusing on myself and my career, and I don't plan on having any of my own. I would have absolutely no issue dating and eventually getting into a serious relationship with someone with children of their own and could see developing a family this way.
I'm sure there are a lot of guys with similar attitudes.
Good luck!
Edit: This was in response to the classy dude at the beginning of the thread who swears he was a womanizer at some point.0 -
tuck the kids in and lets do this
lmao...k0 -
I wasn't married, but I left my ex after 9 years, so in the laws eyes we basically were
I also have 2 kids and was 31 years old.
My biggest piece of advise is you need time alone. You need to figure out who the new you is, the one who isn't married anymore, who is a single parent, who is on a weight loss journey (I think? haha). You also need to make sure your kids are ok, you need to work out your new relationship with your ex, etc.
Take time before you date. I don't know the reasons for your divorce, but for me it was my decision to leave. That made it a smidge easier, but I still needed time. I took about 4 months before I started dating. It was 9 or more months when I had met someone and was ready for that person to meet my kids. I made sure the kids dad knew, I made sure the kids knew he wasn't going to be there dad, and I made sure everything was ok amongst everyone involved.
Anyways, good luck to you. But take time for you first!!!!
ETA: oh, the game is way different. I mean come on 9 years later for me. But my rules also changed too - being early 20's to early 30's. Also having kids. Just go slow and do what is comfortable for you and your kids0 -
I'm not going to write the cliche 'you're gorgeous line'. Instead, i'll say this, women having children will put off the guys you dont want anyway. If a guy can't accept that a woman in her twenties has children then he isn't worth seeking. I don't know much about 'the game' because I can't say I get much female attention, but I'd assume that having kids will be a catalyst rather than a hindrance to you finding another guy.
I also very much agree with this. Guys who have a problem with you being a mother are not guys you want to date anyway.0
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