My husband is losing, but I'm not!

azwen
azwen Posts: 237 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My husband and I are both using MFP. We both track our food and exercise consistently. He's losing weight consistently, 1-3 lbs. per week. I've lost about 2.5 lbs. in 6 weeks.

Our exercise habits are different. He plays a lot of soccer - typically 2 hours one evening, and 1-2 hours one or two other evenings. He runs about once or twice a week. So he's doing lots of cardio, but no weight lifting.

I am working out with a trainer at the gym, lifting weights. (He makes sure I work hard, and I know I am getting stronger and can work my muscles much harder already.) I do cardio (30-40 min. on the treadmill, doing a combination of walking briskly and jogging for brief periods) 3-4 times a week. I take a one-hour horseback riding lesson once a week. (Walking and trotting, followed by taking off the saddle and bridle and washing down the horse.)

My clothes fit the same; I think my upper body is the only area that may be slimmer (around my ribcage).

I figure these are my options:
Radically change my diet (extremely low carb).
Stop consuming the extra calories I "earn" when I work out, and just eat 1200 calories a day (this seems so low).
Just keep things the same and give it some more time.

I do intend to keep increasing the amount and frequency of cardio exercise, and add one more day of weight training each week. So gradually I will definitely be burning more calories and adding more muscle. I just don't know if I should keep my diet the same, and give the exercise more time to make a noticeable difference, or if I should be making some big changes.

Thanks for any advice!

Replies

  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    Opening your diary can help people give you some advice.

    But what I can say is that 1200 calories isn't always right for everyone. And you need to make sure that your exercise calories that you have been eating back are accurate.. MFP can overestimate or underestimate. I use a HRM for this reason.
  • azwen
    azwen Posts: 237 Member
    I have been looking into getting a FitBit; I think it could be helpful. What kind of HRM do you have? I think this week, I will start eating 100 less calories than the plan says I can each day, in case the calorie estimates are not accurate for me. How do I open my diary?

    Thanks!
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    I use the Polar FT4. You can get them for $50-60 on amazon.com

    Just go to settings -> diary settings and scroll down to set it to public.
  • UG77
    UG77 Posts: 206 Member
    Do not judge the efficacy of your routine or results by the results of your husband. Men have an unfair advantage in weight loss (its called testosterone) and if you focus on his results it's just going to discourage you.
  • azwen
    azwen Posts: 237 Member
    Thanks! Yeah, I know he will always lose faster than me, but I'd like to be losing SOMETHING. I try to focus on the long-term benefits and changes, that I'm getting healthier and more active, that I do have non-scale-victories (the first six weeks of horseback riding, I had to stand on a chair to get on my tall horse; now I don't need a chair!), that eventually the extra muscle will speed and help me maintain weight loss, etc. And eventually when I'm 25 lbs. lighter, that's 25 lbs. I don't have to haul to the top of the mountain when I go hiking.
  • Serafimangel
    Serafimangel Posts: 174 Member
    Hey, I use a fitbit and think they're pretty good, but each to their own, maybe shop around and try to find what HRM is best for you.

    I know you must be feeling frustrated, especially when your hubby is losing quicker though you probs feel that you're doing more work (tch, men). Some people just take a littel longer for their body to start shedding the pounds. I would be careful about any drastic action, if you radically cut food and increase exercise, this could work against your weight loss in the long run. Here is a fantastic post that could give you some answers:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
    hope it helps.
  • npaniagua3
    npaniagua3 Posts: 1
    It's all about calories in vs calories out. the fact that he is a man has nothing to do with it.
    His caloric deficit is higher because he is doing cardio, while you weight lift.
    Not that that's bad, that means you're probably also not losing muscle like he is
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    I would definitely look at your diet. The exercise sounds good! I don't know about going down to 1200 calories while weight training. That would work against what you're trying to do, which is build muscle to speed up your metabolism. That's why your trainer has you working with weights besides toning. Opening your diary and also having your trainer take a look at your eating will certainly help!
  • Beaner63
    Beaner63 Posts: 69 Member
    Have you taken your measurements? Last week I sat at the same weight for the whole week, while increasing my workouts to 4 sessions of cardio kickboxing on top of the elliptical that I had been doing. My wife told me she could see a bit of a difference so we pulled out the tape, and even though my weight was the same, I ahd actually lost 3 inches in the waist and hips. That made me feel a whole lot better.

    If you are working with a trainer and doing weights, it could very well be you are putting muscle on for all the fat you are burning off. Take measurements now and check again in a couple weeks.
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,494 Member
    Yes, guys have a big advantage.

    It sounds like your workouts are great, so work on diet.

    You might skip Chick-fil-a for lunch and work in more healthy alternatives. Once in a while is fine, but several days straight is a lot.

    Good luck with you continued success.:flowerforyou:
  • saverys_gal
    saverys_gal Posts: 808 Member
    I'm seeing lots of days where you haven't even hit 1200 cals; also you have a lot of fast food listed, which is going to typically be really high in sodium causing you to retain water. I don't think you need to be on a strict 1200 a day but I think you need to change what you're eating-cut out the junk and processed foods and keep your protein and fiber on the higher side.

    Plus, men have got such an advantage on us ladies!!
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
    Thanks! Yeah, I know he will always lose faster than me, but I'd like to be losing SOMETHING. I try to focus on the long-term benefits and changes, that I'm getting healthier and more active, that I do have non-scale-victories (the first six weeks of horseback riding, I had to stand on a chair to get on my tall horse; now I don't need a chair!), that eventually the extra muscle will speed and help me maintain weight loss, etc. And eventually when I'm 25 lbs. lighter, that's 25 lbs. I don't have to haul to the top of the mountain when I go hiking.

    The only thing I have to say on that is to remember that if your mass is muscle...then it's still fitness. I know that using a male example like I'm about to is not entirely accurate...but I think the analogy still works.

    Most NFL Linebackers...base on the BMI... are obese....yet they are toned, fit, and virtual work horses.

    Including the soccer (that's alot of running right there) your husband it tearing it up in Cardio, whereas you have more focus on your strength.

    One suggestion I would make for you, is to get your hip/waist/chest measurements...and not because I want to know them either :P.

    If you find that you are not losing the weight as fast as you would like but your measurements are going down, then that is a great "F-U SCALE!" victory
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,195 Member
    :flowerforyou: some things I've learned on my weight loss journey

    :smile: never compare your results to a man

    :smile: stop eating processed foods

    :smile: give your body lots of nourishment and leave out foods that provide little or no nourishment

    :smile: fuel your body with more calories if you work out

    :smile: :smile: stay open minded to new ideas

    :bigsmile: never, never, never give up
  • rnjive
    rnjive Posts: 17
    I been in this world since the age of forty -two. Welcome They call it premenopause. You body hormonal change.hold on to weight. You could switch to low carb and yes you would lose weight faster but the minute you put them back in you well gain weight back. I am now 57 through menopause. I gain fifty pounds during this period. I work out daily very hard and watch what i eat. If I lose half pound a week this time around I well be happy. Exercise is the most important thing.
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
    Guys have it easier than gals - its a hormone and muscle mass thing. do not compare yourself to him. It will just drive you nuts.

    Take a look at the road map and work out your BMR and TDEE. If you are above your BMR and around 20% below your TDEE then you should lose at a reasonably steady rate. Less is not more when it comes to weight loss. With the cut from TDEE method you do not eat back yur exercise cals since they and your deficit are already factored in. It gives you a simple daily goal. Give me shout if you need a check on your numbers.


    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Have you taken your measurements?

    I'm reading this thread wondering when someone would ask this. I shifted away from cardio toward weightlifting after I got on maintenance and my weight goes up but my pants get looser.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    I use a fitbit and a polar ft4, using both together works very well to get a good idea of what you are burning on a daily basis.
    I just log what the ft4 gives and the starting times for my workouts, and the fitbit fills in any extra activity like walking, going upstairs etc. Very useful tools to have together, and would make it much easier for you to work out how much you need to be eating to lose the weight.

    Also, try and follow the 80/20 rule. Eating wholesome, nutrient dense foods 80% of the time, and allowing the less healthy stuff the other 20%.
  • chicadejmu
    chicadejmu Posts: 171 Member
    Looks like you've gotten lots of good advice so far. I would definitely recommend sticking with it. I was staying at the same weight and then suddenly would drop 1.5 or so pounds. But my weight held like that for awhile. It just takes your body time to respond and realize you're trying to treat it right.

    Also, I don't know how much you have to lose, but the less you have to lose, the harder it is to lose it. Definitely watch sodium. If you take a few days to make sure it is under control, you will likely see a loss.

    If you really want to lose faster, definitely up the cardio but don't cut back to 1200 calories. Check out these 2 links:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    Keep going, don't give up. You just have to find what works for you. You can do it!
  • azwen
    azwen Posts: 237 Member
    That was really interesting. According to that info, my BMR is 1400. So on workout days, I'm barely getting that much. If I don't work out, I'm only eating 1200. Too little, right? I think I need to eat more, to help my metabolism. My trainer is really encouraging me to do very low carbs (like no more than 20% of calories), and lots of protein. I am trying to get more protein, but I can't seem to live with my carbs that low! I know I do need to cut my fat %, since it's typically high.
  • chicadejmu
    chicadejmu Posts: 171 Member
    If you're willing to give it a try, I bet you see results. I went up about 2 pounds for about a week then dropped them and then some. Also, I wasn't starving anymore! Can't say I always make the best choices, but I'm still losing because I'm staying w/i my calories and doing about 40 min of elliptical almost every day. :)
  • chicadejmu
    chicadejmu Posts: 171 Member
    Btw, I have a fitbit and LOVE it. It's been a huge motivator for me. I just have to make sure I get at least my 10K steps each day. AND my mom has one so we compete. :)
  • LoveMyLife_NYC
    LoveMyLife_NYC Posts: 230 Member
    Drink lots of water and pack a healthy lunch instead of eating out every day. Replace you Chik-fil-a lunches with a salad, fruit, and a home made grilled chicken sandwich and you'll be eating a LOT less salt, fat, and preservatives. Your calories are definitely on the low side, but you are what you eat. Especially if you are training, you need some super foods in your diet.

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