Can you tell me what you think of my story so far ?

donyellemoniquex3
donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
I just started writing it so this is what I have right now

I go by Krystal Samuelson and I'm going to tell you how it all began. The earliest I can remember, was 3 years old. My father left before I was born and my mother; who's a drug dealer would never pay attention to me. Hell not even my convicted felon of a step-father would. When I was born I was told that I was a good for nothing attension seeking *****. Children Protctive Services won't do anything. They're afraid something horrible might happen to them. You see, my mother's grandfather was a highly respected state attourney general before the corruption scandal. Since then my family has been getting death threats. Currently I'm 15 years old and my life hasn't gotten better... at all. School's a joke, I'm not wanted at home, and my best friends are the stack of Harry Potter books hidden beneith my bed.

Replies

  • JessTryingAgain
    JessTryingAgain Posts: 10
    That sounds interesting. :D Makes me want to read more. ^^
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
    Sounds like a great character to base your story on! Lots of mystery and rebellion. Well done
  • LolitasApprentice
    LolitasApprentice Posts: 3
    it's very interesting so far and I would like to see where it goes. Will it be a coming of age story? Or will it be a tale of corruption? In which I mean will she too turn bad. I would like to think the character will rise above it all I am a sucker for heartfelt. Anyways I think what you have. so far you created a nice beginning. Your pretty much free to take the story line wherever you want. good job.
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
    fixed spelling errors and changed a sentence around.

    I go by Krystal Samuelson and I'm going to tell you how it all began. Earliest memory I have is from when I was 3 years old. My father left before I was born and my mother; who's a drug dealer would never pay attention to me. Hell not even my convicted felon of a step-father would. When I was born I was told that I was a good for nothing attention seeking *****. Children Protective Services won't do anything. They're afraid something horrible might happen to them. You see, my mother's grandfather was a highly respected state attorney general before the corruption scandal. Since then my family has been getting death threats. Currently I'm 15 years old and my life hasn't gotten better... at all. School's a joke, I'm not wanted at home, and my best friends are the stack of Harry Potter books hidden beneith my bed.
  • anels449
    anels449 Posts: 3,187 Member
    Is it going to be a novel or a short story? It's a very compact paragraph, lots of information. Depending on what you're writing, I'd suggest breaking up the paragraph and working with each detail; it's a lot for the reader to absorb immediately. :)
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