Dealing with sadness

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SuffolkSally
SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Or maybe it's just straight depression, as one friend says...

Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.

Diet/exercise/being-under-my -calorie-goal matter less to me than friends and company - I'm not sure where my piorities are.
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  • melodyfrommars
    melodyfrommars Posts: 33
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    i've dealt with severe depression for years.. the words of my first ever psychiatrist still ring true... she told me that the number one thing i could do to help myself was eat clean and exercise. sadly, it is not as simple as that. but eating healthy definitely makes a difference, might make it easier to cope?
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Take a break. In the grand scheme of things calorie counting will wait until you are ready to start thinking about yourself again. It sucks being sad, when you feel a bit more like yourself you can get back to it. In the mean time just try to make good choices, and exercise. It honestly improves your mood. Hope you feel better soon xx
  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
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    Taking care of yourself is important, however sometimes you need the solace of others to help get you to a place where you are able to take care of yourself. Try to be mindful of what you are eating but take time to allow yourself to heal. Try walking once a day, even if it's a brief walk and you will likely notice a shift in your mood.
  • Crayvn
    Crayvn Posts: 390 Member
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    some ingredients in foods can trigger certain chemicals in the brain, and so on. eating healthy could very well help your depression as someone said above. try to do the best you can during these times, but do try. :)
  • malicent
    malicent Posts: 127
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    diet and exercise should be your priority.

    if you're fat and smelly you'll have no friends, so you have no choice now... do the right thing. :)
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    diet and exercise should be your priority.

    if you're fat and smelly you'll have no friends, so you have no choice now... do the right thing. :)

    Haha - well I'm not very fat, really, nor smelly (unless people arre not telling me things I need to know LOL).

    I know there are no answers, really; people die, and you've lost them, and somehow you've just got to carry on.
  • StarLeopard
    StarLeopard Posts: 80 Member
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    Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.
    Well of course you're sad. It's not depression when you have good cause, unless the family problems were ten years ago I suppose. As others have said, take a break from this for awhile and come back when things have settled down a bit. Just try not to throw it all out the window in the meantime. Do what you can and forget the rest. I would also seek out someone to talk to. Doctor, Minister, Counselor, Hair Stylist, Bartender, Friend--it's all good. I think your priorities are spot on.

    P.S. I think your cat is gorgeous.
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.
    Well of course you're sad. It's not depression when you have good cause, unless the family problems were ten years ago I suppose. As others have said, take a break from this for awhile and come back when things have settled down a bit. Just try not to throw it all out the window in the meantime. Do what you can and forget the rest. I would also seek out someone to talk to. Doctor, Minister, Counselor, Hair Stylist, Bartender, Friend--it's all good. I think your priorities are spot on.

    P.S. I think your cat is gorgeous.[/qoute]



    The cat thanks you, he likes to be admired.
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Also just to add, when I've had really crappy horrible times, I've needed a regular routine as well. Going to the gym gave me that bit of routine and did help relieve some stress. It's been a bit like an old friend at times. No matter how crap I felt, I went, and usually would walk out feeling a bit better...just a thought. Totally depends on what works for you though of course. For me it helped.
  • malicent
    malicent Posts: 127
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    Do you have anyone you can go out with? Have a few drinks together. When I'm sad I feel really sluggish and unmotivated.. I just want to shut myself away and lie down/sleep. But then I feel even worse after doing that. It's REALLY hard to push yourself and get up and exercise when feeling like this, but trust me, it's part of the challenge and you'll be 10 times more proud of yourself afterwards than usual.

    When I have those things on my mind, I put my earbuds in and go to the gym. After a good hour, I'm all sweating and huffing and puffing, but I feel healthy and fit and very strong! I look in the mirror and admire myself, I know it sounds vain but I like to do that. I like to envision where I'll be (my goal) and picture my body looking how I want it to. In that moment, there's nothing else. The beat of my heart, the blood rushing through my head, the sweat dripping down my face... It's like I'm enveloped in my own sanctuary in that single moment, and nothing else matters. I look at myself in the eye and believe, "I'll be okay. I'll make it through anything. I'm proving that even now."

    Everyone needs a break. Especially you. But please don't dig deeper and fall into yourself. It's very hard to come out of it. Look, there's 24 hours in a day. All I'm asking is that you put in one measly hour of your day to get up and give it your best! Even if only half an hour walk, put some stride into your step and walk fiercely!

    You know you can! Believe in yourself.
  • plushkitten
    plushkitten Posts: 547 Member
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    I can relate.

    I'm bipolar and have been going through a deep depression cycle.
    In the last few months, I've gained a lot of weight and I've found that the stress and emotions get even worse when I don't take care of myself.

    I know it's harder than ever now thinking about where your priorities are...
    but the best thing you can do for yourself which is completely in your control, is to take care of yourself.

    Plus, you'll gain structure and the confidence will return.
    Your depression will lift.

    Even bad things come to an end.


    Much love<3
    :flowerforyou:
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    MFP has been a big part of my recovery - I've been eating reasonably well for a while now, I walk every day (dog drags me, LOL), and I go for weights at the gym (only light, so far, and only a couple of times a week)
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    I don't know - where's the dividing points between sad/hopeless/despair and when does that get medicialsed?
  • malicent
    malicent Posts: 127
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    That's good. I want a dog so bad; I need a jogging/walking partner!

    Yeah take your time on the weights, sounds like you're doing well with it.

    sadness & depression > self-pity & eating > gaining weight > more sadness & depression > struggling & frustration > gaining weight > loss of confidence and hope > obesity > death

    sadness & depression > fear > anger > hate > suffering from insanity workout and/or p90x > boost of confidence & ambition > establishment of the galatic empire > construction of the death star > glory and fame > SITH LORD STATUS > SO MUCH WIN!


    "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat" - Fat B@stard (Austin Powers)
  • malicent
    malicent Posts: 127
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    Just embrace the Dark Side like I have, and you won't need no stinkin' pills! :D
  • MrsAgi
    MrsAgi Posts: 338 Member
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    I don't know - where's the dividing points between sad/hopeless/despair and when does that get medicialsed?

    the dividing point is basically when it interferes with your ability to live a normal life and is ongoing - it can (will) take a while to "get over" any loss (you never really get over it, but can learn to get on with life)

    Go see your GP & have a chat - they have little tick box questionnaires to do and can offer a variety of options from counselling to short term medication.

    But honestly, I don't believe you are clinically depressed based on what I know of you from mfp - when Hubby is in a down cycle he struggles to get out of bed, never makes it out of the house, rarely speaks and never civilly..... Grief and sadness is normal and natural. Let it take its course and keep doing what you are doing - eat as healthily as you can, speak to friends and family as much as possible, and exercise as often as you can manage:)

    *hugs*
  • lynn14
    lynn14 Posts: 116
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    I have suffered great loss and tragic things, battled severe depression twice in my life....depression is different from just being sad or grieving.
    Depression is a chemical imbalance and should not be taken lightly.

    As others have expressed, eating right and exercising will help you both mentally and physically. It is very hard to do at times when your mind is somewhere else. A doctor said to me once, to get out and walk everyday. I have been doing that ever since. I started with 10min. then I went to 15 min....and so on. It isn't easy and many days as I walked I had tears. But, in time that walking therapy helped my depression. So get out and walk!!!!! Make that a priority! Rain or shine....you can do this!!!!!!

    Also, if this has gone on for more than 3-4 weeks, you need to get to a doctor.

    Feel free to add me if you think I can help you.....
    Your not alone and you can get through this...
  • awesomek001
    awesomek001 Posts: 167 Member
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    I don't know - where's the dividing points between sad/hopeless/despair and when does that get medicialsed?

    I struggle with that too. Continue to talk to those who support you - as someone mentioned. If you really feel that it's something that requires medication, ask them for their opinion. Most friends and family aren't going to push you towards medicating. AND trust your instincts. You know yourself best - you know your moods, your feelings, yourself. If you don't feel that your feelings stem from the loss of an individual within your circle, it's might be time to look more closely at it.

    Hang in there! As every one says "Change is the only constant". You'e already taken steps to keep yourself healthy (meantally) by posting this question in this forum.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Exercise has helped me get through the tough times. I took up running right after getting out of a bad relationship. Sometimes the only part of the day when I was really at peace was during my runs. So it helped me feel healthier mentally, and the physical fitness side seemed more like a bonus than my ultimate goal.

    This might not be a good time for strict calorie counting, but there are a couple general tips:
    -Avoid caffeine. It will make you feel more agitated.
    -Get regular sleep and have regular meals. This will help you feel more stable.
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
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    Diet and exercise do help - as does meditation and light therapy. The shorter days may be a reason that the feelings hang on longer - as the original sadness/grief can blend into SAD Seasonal effective disorder. Be sure to get out in the sunshine and fresh air as much as you can.
    If you decide to talk with your practitioner light therapy is a non-medication option and can be covered by insurance.

    Hang in there - one day at a time - it does get better.

    Please take the time to take care of your self!

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