Dealing with sadness
SuffolkSally
Posts: 964 Member
Or maybe it's just straight depression, as one friend says...
Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.
Diet/exercise/being-under-my -calorie-goal matter less to me than friends and company - I'm not sure where my piorities are.
Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.
Diet/exercise/being-under-my -calorie-goal matter less to me than friends and company - I'm not sure where my piorities are.
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Replies
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i've dealt with severe depression for years.. the words of my first ever psychiatrist still ring true... she told me that the number one thing i could do to help myself was eat clean and exercise. sadly, it is not as simple as that. but eating healthy definitely makes a difference, might make it easier to cope?0
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Take a break. In the grand scheme of things calorie counting will wait until you are ready to start thinking about yourself again. It sucks being sad, when you feel a bit more like yourself you can get back to it. In the mean time just try to make good choices, and exercise. It honestly improves your mood. Hope you feel better soon xx0
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Taking care of yourself is important, however sometimes you need the solace of others to help get you to a place where you are able to take care of yourself. Try to be mindful of what you are eating but take time to allow yourself to heal. Try walking once a day, even if it's a brief walk and you will likely notice a shift in your mood.0
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some ingredients in foods can trigger certain chemicals in the brain, and so on. eating healthy could very well help your depression as someone said above. try to do the best you can during these times, but do try.0
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diet and exercise should be your priority.
if you're fat and smelly you'll have no friends, so you have no choice now... do the right thing.0 -
diet and exercise should be your priority.
if you're fat and smelly you'll have no friends, so you have no choice now... do the right thing.
Haha - well I'm not very fat, really, nor smelly (unless people arre not telling me things I need to know LOL).
I know there are no answers, really; people die, and you've lost them, and somehow you've just got to carry on.0 -
Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.
P.S. I think your cat is gorgeous.0 -
Anyway there's been a lot of grief, trauma and loss in my family, and I find it really hard to be motivated just now.
P.S. I think your cat is gorgeous.[/qoute]
The cat thanks you, he likes to be admired.0 -
Also just to add, when I've had really crappy horrible times, I've needed a regular routine as well. Going to the gym gave me that bit of routine and did help relieve some stress. It's been a bit like an old friend at times. No matter how crap I felt, I went, and usually would walk out feeling a bit better...just a thought. Totally depends on what works for you though of course. For me it helped.0
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Do you have anyone you can go out with? Have a few drinks together. When I'm sad I feel really sluggish and unmotivated.. I just want to shut myself away and lie down/sleep. But then I feel even worse after doing that. It's REALLY hard to push yourself and get up and exercise when feeling like this, but trust me, it's part of the challenge and you'll be 10 times more proud of yourself afterwards than usual.
When I have those things on my mind, I put my earbuds in and go to the gym. After a good hour, I'm all sweating and huffing and puffing, but I feel healthy and fit and very strong! I look in the mirror and admire myself, I know it sounds vain but I like to do that. I like to envision where I'll be (my goal) and picture my body looking how I want it to. In that moment, there's nothing else. The beat of my heart, the blood rushing through my head, the sweat dripping down my face... It's like I'm enveloped in my own sanctuary in that single moment, and nothing else matters. I look at myself in the eye and believe, "I'll be okay. I'll make it through anything. I'm proving that even now."
Everyone needs a break. Especially you. But please don't dig deeper and fall into yourself. It's very hard to come out of it. Look, there's 24 hours in a day. All I'm asking is that you put in one measly hour of your day to get up and give it your best! Even if only half an hour walk, put some stride into your step and walk fiercely!
You know you can! Believe in yourself.0 -
I can relate.
I'm bipolar and have been going through a deep depression cycle.
In the last few months, I've gained a lot of weight and I've found that the stress and emotions get even worse when I don't take care of myself.
I know it's harder than ever now thinking about where your priorities are...
but the best thing you can do for yourself which is completely in your control, is to take care of yourself.
Plus, you'll gain structure and the confidence will return.
Your depression will lift.
Even bad things come to an end.
Much love<3
:flowerforyou:0 -
MFP has been a big part of my recovery - I've been eating reasonably well for a while now, I walk every day (dog drags me, LOL), and I go for weights at the gym (only light, so far, and only a couple of times a week)0
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I don't know - where's the dividing points between sad/hopeless/despair and when does that get medicialsed?0
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That's good. I want a dog so bad; I need a jogging/walking partner!
Yeah take your time on the weights, sounds like you're doing well with it.
sadness & depression > self-pity & eating > gaining weight > more sadness & depression > struggling & frustration > gaining weight > loss of confidence and hope > obesity > death
sadness & depression > fear > anger > hate > suffering from insanity workout and/or p90x > boost of confidence & ambition > establishment of the galatic empire > construction of the death star > glory and fame > SITH LORD STATUS > SO MUCH WIN!
"I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat" - Fat B@stard (Austin Powers)0 -
Just embrace the Dark Side like I have, and you won't need no stinkin' pills!0
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I don't know - where's the dividing points between sad/hopeless/despair and when does that get medicialsed?
the dividing point is basically when it interferes with your ability to live a normal life and is ongoing - it can (will) take a while to "get over" any loss (you never really get over it, but can learn to get on with life)
Go see your GP & have a chat - they have little tick box questionnaires to do and can offer a variety of options from counselling to short term medication.
But honestly, I don't believe you are clinically depressed based on what I know of you from mfp - when Hubby is in a down cycle he struggles to get out of bed, never makes it out of the house, rarely speaks and never civilly..... Grief and sadness is normal and natural. Let it take its course and keep doing what you are doing - eat as healthily as you can, speak to friends and family as much as possible, and exercise as often as you can manage:)
*hugs*0 -
I have suffered great loss and tragic things, battled severe depression twice in my life....depression is different from just being sad or grieving.
Depression is a chemical imbalance and should not be taken lightly.
As others have expressed, eating right and exercising will help you both mentally and physically. It is very hard to do at times when your mind is somewhere else. A doctor said to me once, to get out and walk everyday. I have been doing that ever since. I started with 10min. then I went to 15 min....and so on. It isn't easy and many days as I walked I had tears. But, in time that walking therapy helped my depression. So get out and walk!!!!! Make that a priority! Rain or shine....you can do this!!!!!!
Also, if this has gone on for more than 3-4 weeks, you need to get to a doctor.
Feel free to add me if you think I can help you.....
Your not alone and you can get through this...0 -
I don't know - where's the dividing points between sad/hopeless/despair and when does that get medicialsed?
I struggle with that too. Continue to talk to those who support you - as someone mentioned. If you really feel that it's something that requires medication, ask them for their opinion. Most friends and family aren't going to push you towards medicating. AND trust your instincts. You know yourself best - you know your moods, your feelings, yourself. If you don't feel that your feelings stem from the loss of an individual within your circle, it's might be time to look more closely at it.
Hang in there! As every one says "Change is the only constant". You'e already taken steps to keep yourself healthy (meantally) by posting this question in this forum.0 -
Exercise has helped me get through the tough times. I took up running right after getting out of a bad relationship. Sometimes the only part of the day when I was really at peace was during my runs. So it helped me feel healthier mentally, and the physical fitness side seemed more like a bonus than my ultimate goal.
This might not be a good time for strict calorie counting, but there are a couple general tips:
-Avoid caffeine. It will make you feel more agitated.
-Get regular sleep and have regular meals. This will help you feel more stable.0 -
Diet and exercise do help - as does meditation and light therapy. The shorter days may be a reason that the feelings hang on longer - as the original sadness/grief can blend into SAD Seasonal effective disorder. Be sure to get out in the sunshine and fresh air as much as you can.
If you decide to talk with your practitioner light therapy is a non-medication option and can be covered by insurance.
Hang in there - one day at a time - it does get better.
Please take the time to take care of your self!0 -
Sally, your depression isn't just out of the blue but caused by events in your life. Understandably, you have good days and bad days. Overall, you eat very healthy foods and you get regular exercise. Perhaps right now it is time to strive for maintenance more than weight loss. You look very good and have reached a point that if you never lost anymore weight you would be very healthy.
If you feel that medication would help then go talk to your dr. I know you get up every morning. You spend time with friends. You walk your dog. All good signs that you aren't severely depressed. I think you are slowly recovering equilibrium and you will have more and more good days.0 -
I really think it's worth talking to a doctor. I have been through this myself and tried to just power through and it got worse. I finally went to the doc who prescribed low dose anti-depressants. Within a month I was better than I had been in years. I have motivation, want to exercise, have lost 21lb, my personality has come back.
I hadn't even realised how much I had stopped trying and caring about myself until the meds kicked in.
It may not be the right solution for you but if not they will at least be able to give you some advice about other options.0 -
Someone above said that if this has gone on for longer than 3-4 weeks you should get to a doctor. I disagree. I lost my husband and I can tell you that the pain and loss and sadness went on for a lot more than 3-4 weeks and drugging me would not have been the solution. There was only 1 actual cure and that would have been for him to have not died. That was not going to change. So, it had to be left to time and prayer and taking care of myself and my kids. Taking care of me involved eating right and lots of exercise. I needed those endorphins bad. I have days still when I will cry during a run because I still miss him. But that time is my time and it's time for reflecting and remembering and I talk to him and I talk to God. The pills simply numb the pain. You have to go through it to get to the other side.
I'm not saying that no one needs meds. But, clinical depression and situational depression are two totally different things. It is normal for our bodies (including our minds and hearts) to go through a mourning period. It sucks and it hurts but it is normal.
I disagree with the people who say to take a break from what you have been doing. I say the more normal/routine you can keep your life and the more you stay on the path of something positive, the better you will do.
Good luck and God Bless!0 -
I have struggled with depression many times in my life. I have discovered that exercise is helping me considerably. I had the worst, most stressful, want to break down and cry day at work on Thursday. I ran three miles and I felt incredibly better afterwards.
Depression is not something to take lightly. If you feel it is interfering with your ability to function, then you need to seek help. There is nothing wrong with investing in the health of your mind.0 -
I really think it's worth talking to a doctor. I have been through this myself and tried to just power through and it got worse. I finally went to the doc who prescribed low dose anti-depressants. Within a month I was better than I had been in years. I have motivation, want to exercise, have lost 21lb, my personality has come back.
I hadn't even realised how much I had stopped trying and caring about myself until the meds kicked in.
It may not be the right solution for you but if not they will at least be able to give you some advice about other options.
yes - I've rather been down that route.
I sort of keep busy with stuff - have loads of friends, etc. All of that doesn't really help me with the dark side, much...
So grateful for all the helpful ideas and thoughts though!0 -
I disagree with the advice to go out for a couple of drinks. Alcohol is a natural depressant. Even if you feel good when you are out drinking, part of the hangover is depression for the next few days while you get the alcohol out of your system. I was depressed for years (and on several different medications) when I was drinking. Been sober 10 years. Never happier, and in that time I lost my father, quit my job and went into business for myself, and was a single parent.
Talk to your doctor about trying something for the depression, but understand that several medication solutions may actually make you gain weight. Read up on the medication before you decide to take it and let your doctor know that gaining weight on medication is a concern if it is.
Good luck!0 -
Go talk with a doctor. If nothing else (s)he can take away your fear that you're depressed. Sometimes just that chat will make things more clear for you. Going to a doctor isn't the same as getting medication. It's just getting a check-up because something isn't right. And in fact, there are some other medical reasons when you can't get away from your sadness or grief. It might be as easy as some vitamin pills to fix you (in case of a vitamin D shortage), so do yourself a favour and get checked up.
I've just finished an intensive 4 month therapy (3 days a week) to deal with a clinical depression, and a lot of the points people give are good. But whether or not your depressed or just down there's some things you need to be aware off.
1. Stick to your schedule. Don't cancel visits, don't call in sick, make sure you have enough 'me-time' in your schedule as well
2. Energy is limited, so keep your visits a bit shorter, don't try to work at 110%, take a break a bit more often.
3. Exercise! Exercise makes endorfines in your brain. They make you happy. But, remember rule 2, make sure to not overdo anything. Don't exercise till you can't go anymore, that'll just make it harder to do the rest of the things you need to do that day. Instead exercise at 75%. So you can feel proud of doing the right thing without being exhausted after.
4. Personal hygiene is important. So take care of yourself. You'll feel better after a nice shower, fixing your make-up, eating healthy. But again, don't overdo it.
5. Distract yourself if you're feeling down. Go paint, walk, bake cookies. Do not wallow in self pity, that'll just make you feel worse and doesn't solve anything.
It gets better. My shrink keeps telling me that there's no one who doesn't come out of a depression. It might take time, but in the long run you WILL feel better.
Edited to add point 50 -
I've been fighting with these feelings too. My mom got cancer, my mom died, my grandma died when my mom was in the hospital for surgeries, a bit later my mom died, then my cat (who was all I had left) died too. It was all within about 14 months. I did *not* know which way was up, where to turn, or who would even understand. Brownies were the only thing I ate for a while. The first year after that I gained 60+ pounds, and it's 3 years later and I'm still trying to lose weight. I'm just now down about 15 from my highest weight, but it's STILL HARD. I only really started losing weight last year at this time.
It's a fight with myself every day. And no one understands that I still am sad over all this stuff.
I can tell you that trying to stay consistent is key. I do SO much better when I just drag my *kitten* to the gym. By the time I've exhausted myself for an hour, I honestly feel great. I feel sad going into the gym> feel proud of myself, worn out, and pumped by the time I come out. Even if I'm crying at the gym, I still try to go. You can do it.0 -
Take a break. In the grand scheme of things calorie counting will wait until you are ready to start thinking about yourself again. It sucks being sad, when you feel a bit more like yourself you can get back to it. In the mean time just try to make good choices, and exercise. It honestly improves your mood. Hope you feel better soon xx
Totally agree! If your mindset is not in it right now just give yourself a break and focus on dealing with the other issues in your life and being happy again. When those issues have been mended and taken care of, you will be ready to get back at it and continue kicking *kitten*!0 -
I disagree with the advice to go out for a couple of drinks. Alcohol is a natural depressant. Even if you feel good when you are out drinking, part of the hangover is depression for the next few days while you get the alcohol out of your system. I was depressed for years (and on several different medications) when I was drinking. Been sober 10 years. Never happier, and in that time I lost my father, quit my job and went into business for myself, and was a single parent.
Keyword: couple. I didn't tell her to go get smashed or anything, and certainly not to the point of having a hangover lol.
We're talking apples and oranges here; she lost loved ones recently. You were depressed for years, taking 'several different medications' while drinking. I don't think that having some good company and a few drinks for an evening would hurt. In fact, I bet it'd do the trick. Then again, speaking for myself, I don't have an addictive personality.
What are you all a bunch of wussies! I don't mean to be insen--whatever. Suck it up and move on, cause guess what! The world ain't gonna stop spinning! Make your peace and keep working out and sticking to the plan. If you let this get in the way, you're only going to have another setback and feel worse in the end! Not only will you have lost some loved ones, but you'll be fatter to boot! So congratulations for that! In the end it all comes down to you, you're the one that you gotta live with. You're the only one to blame. Now, are you going to let this brick wall stop you in your tracks or are you gonna make like the Kool-Aid Man and BURST THROUGH THAT ****! OH YEAHH!!!0
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