I think I'm depressed and I have no idea what to do next

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trying2findmyway
trying2findmyway Posts: 31
in Motivation and Support
This actually has nothing to do with weight loss really... I lost about 70lbs and of course when I was my heaviest I ALWAYS thought well if you were skinnier/if you lost weight everything would be better.
I am roughly 70lbs lighter and not a damn thing has changed.

My life consists of working and working out. I'm thankful for my career and I'm thankful for a healthy body to be able to work out... I'm just so damn confused I could scream. I don't hardly have any friends... I'm 25 ...I'm not going out and enjoying my 20s. I've been single for forever. I really have NO IDEA what to do.... what the next step should be to change all this.
I'm quiet and I keep to myself a lot ... not a lot of people talk to me. I just want to live...have fun... be happy. I feel like time is flying by and I'm not making a move. It's making me utterly sick. I feel sick inside and all I do is cry.

My ex has initiated convo again. and I of course respond since I don't have anyone else to talk too and I'm lonely. I respond like a fcking fool. I make myself look like a naive idiot who doesn't know her worth (which is pretty much what I am)
So what now?... I'll talk to him... because I'm lonely ... get attached again and *kitten* hits the fan and I get hurt again?
A never ending cycle. Maybe I like him deep down or maybe I'm desperate. Who knows if his words are genuine or he just can't find someone else.
It would be nice for once to just have somebody actually be afraid to lose me. It would be nice to have something to look forward too.
I also don't have a huge family. Nobody talks. I only have my mother... and she well... always reminds me that she wishes she never had me.

I don't know what my next move should be... a therapist? Match.com? volunteer?
I am so confused I can't take it.

This also is another account of mine... I wouldn't dare post this on my real account :(
Ps. this isn't a pity party I just really want to change this... I want to be in a healthy relationship. I want my days off to be more than just sitting at home. I'm asking this for help

Replies

  • MuddyEquestrian
    MuddyEquestrian Posts: 366 Member
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    So sorry you're feeling so lost. Firstly I would say you need to talk to a therapist and really get some great advice and get everything out in the open. Secondly try to distance yourself from toxic relationships, like it sounds like that one with your ex is, and just focus on yourself. What makes YOU happy? Weight won't change your life as much as I wish it could. Great job on the weightloss, but now it's time to focus on getting up your self confidence and finding who you are. Best of luck to you on your journey.
  • cbeutler
    cbeutler Posts: 667 Member
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    Therapy worked for me.
  • lenoresaari
    lenoresaari Posts: 500 Member
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    I agree. I think a great therapist would help figure out what direction to go with your life and your decisions. I hope you
    have insurance.
  • janet0513
    janet0513 Posts: 564 Member
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    Therapy is a good idea. Just because your body changes, it doesn't mean that the issues are resolved. Definitely start there. You need to work on your self esteem.

    Go out and meet people. Although I would normally advocate for match.com, I would say try to work on you first. Try meetup.com or other social groups and go do things that you enjoy with other people. You can find groups to do active things with that will fit in your new lifestyle. Go out and have fun.

    As hard as it may seem, stop talking with the ex. Ex's are that for a reason and it just sounds like he is taking advantage of you. You are worth more than that.

    It will take time to change and unless you make changes in your life, it isn't going to change.

    Best wishes :)
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
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    Why not check out Meetup.com for groups of similar interest in your area. My wife was in similar situation, and wanted to meet new people with similar interests and has been very pleased with the new friends she has made.
  • trying2findmyway
    trying2findmyway Posts: 31
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    can somebody please say something OTHER than see a therapist :(

    I have checked out meetup.com I just wouldn't want to go to a "meetup" alone... but I guess I have to start somewhere
  • nkyjennifer
    nkyjennifer Posts: 135 Member
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    Why not check out Meetup.com for groups of similar interest in your area. My wife was in similar situation, and wanted to meet new people with similar interests and has been very pleased with the new friends she has made.

    I second this one! There are great groups for all kinds of interests. I've made some wonderful friends this way. It can be hard to walk into a coffee shop to meet people you don't know for the first time, but it's so worth it. You can also chat with people online (each meeting has it's own "message board" type thing) a bit before a meeting you want to go to, that way you already kind of know some people who will be there.

    If you like to read you might also check out some book clubs, at local libraries or book stores.

    Having friends literally saved my life when I was in a destructive relationship. If I hadn't met those wonderful women I would never have found the courage to leave. Please reach out to people, 9 times out of 10 it will be a wonderful experience.

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