Destination weddings....

oregonzoo
oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
in Chit-Chat
Rude move, or good way to save some money and ensure that only the people you really want to be there show.

Replies

  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Rude move, or good way to save some money and ensure that only the people you really want to be there show.

    I would hate to have to spend about 3K -just- to attend my daughter's wedding. not including attire. If your family has a couple K to throw around, go for it. Otherwise don't expect many people to attend.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Rude move, or good way to save some money and ensure that only the people you really want to be there show.

    I would hate to have to spend about 3K -just- to attend my daughter's wedding. not including attire. If your family has a couple K to throw around, go for it. Otherwise don't expect many people to attend.
    We don't expect a whole ton, and that's ok with us.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    by many, I mean beyond very immediate family and close, well-off friends. I think if my best friend got married off an an island, i'd be pretty peeved. I can't afford that!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I think you know how I feel. Your wedding day is about you and your groom. NO ONE ELSE.
  • Desterknee
    Desterknee Posts: 1,056 Member
    Yeah, when the time comes I'll be considering a semi destination wedding to weed out the flakes/undesirables. It could seem rude but it would be more rude in some instances to invite only certain people of a family branch or social group even if that's what you really want.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I think you know how I feel. Your wedding day is about you and your groom. NO ONE ELSE.
    And this is why I'd love you. :) If we weren't paying for this all ourselves we'd probably have more options. But with kids, and needing to buy a house...
    Dropping 25+k on a wedding doesn't seem responsible to us.
  • samblanken
    samblanken Posts: 369 Member
    I found a lovely bed and breakfast that specialized in elopements. The innkeeper married us. They did everything, the cake, the flowers, the wife did the photos. All we had to do was show up. Completely stress free. And pretty cheap. Def the way to go!

    Edited to add - and it was cheap $600 for all that and it included 2 nights in the B&B.
  • spangey13
    spangey13 Posts: 294
    So long as you give people enough notice, I don't think it is rude. If your nearest and dearest can make it - that is the main thing. It would certainly weed out the folk who want to attend for a free feed!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I think it's ideal.

    But, you can always have a "reception" a.k.a. a party when you get back, if you want.
  • ritoosh
    ritoosh Posts: 190
    i dont think its rude...if thats your dream wedding then fine. and obviously only your close immediate family and friends will come. but i know what most couples do is have another small reception after back in their city for everyone who cant make it. so maybe you can considering doing a small get together for those who wish to attend but cannot afford it or cannot get time off work or school
  • Derpina7
    Derpina7 Posts: 552 Member
    A lot of people assume destination weddings are cheaper, having worked in the wedding industry (photographer) I have to say I think the only way it is cheaper is when it's an elopement. Sometimes the rates to rent venues are even more expensive than local venues at home, especially if they're booked out of a resort.
    Having said that though - getting married on a beautiful beach is still my ideal wedding ;)
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
    I think if it's something that's going to make your wedding more meaningful. Do it. It's YOUR wedding day, not anyone elses. You can always have a reception when you get back.
  • kclynn7
    kclynn7 Posts: 71
    Do what you want and don't worry about anyone else. If they come, they come. If they don't, don't be upset. It's your day and no one else's. I don't think it is fair for someone to be upset because they can't afford to go - that isn't your problem. Have a small get together when you get back for those who couldn't attend.
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
    Hubby and I got married at Sandals Grande in St. Lucia all by ourselves and I wouldn't change it for the world. It was an absolutely FABULOUS experience!! When we got back we had a casual reception and showed our wedding video and pictures. Awesome day!!
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
    For us, it was extremely important to have our family and friends surrounding us on our wedding day. It was our vision of the perfect day. Each bride and groom should decide for themselves what matters. To me, I knew it would be the only day of my life that all of the people who love me and all of the people who love my husband would be in the same place at the same time -- at least until one of us is no longer here to enjoy it. :(
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    My boyfriend's cousin and her husband went to Jamaica alone to be married. It was their wedding/honeymoon all in one. This summer they had a big reception.

    I think that's something relatively tasteful to do. That way you're doing what it is that YOU want on your big day and not expecting anyone else to spend a lot of money on it and you're also giving your family and friends a chance to celebrate with you.
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    Rude is a terrible word for it - It's your day, let it be your dream. Do it however you want to, and if other people can't be there then thats OK. Celebrate with them when you're back. Don't let other peoples wishes persuade you either way .
  • Elif84
    Elif84 Posts: 287 Member
    I had a destination wedding and it was funny a lot of our family members wanted an excuse for a vacation and asked that we follow through with our idea to do one! It was a decision we did not regret! We found a resort that was very affordable (and beautiful!) and surprisingly a good amount of people were willing to pay to go. Some people were inviting themselves! There was very little stress involved and seeing other people plan their weddings made me so thankful we did a destination wedding. Plus you got to spend it with your closest family and friends. I would do it over and over again. We plan to do our vowel renewals (in the way future) on an island as well :-)
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    If you are ok with some people being upset when you return, then do it. It all comes down to how well you can deal with "complaints" when you return. If you don't care what anyone thinks because its your wedding day then go for it. But if you do care what others think, then don't.
  • Tricialew32
    Tricialew32 Posts: 96 Member
    My Step-daughter did this and it was really great! The situation was a little different since the groom's family was primarily from Puerto Rico while the bride's was mostly in Louisiana. So the wedding was in Miami. The location was perfect and the ceremony was intimate and lovely. I don't know how I would have felt had they decided on a location and we couldn't afford it. Some family members felt slighted but ultimately, it has to work out for the couple....right?
  • randysbombshellgirl
    randysbombshellgirl Posts: 338 Member
    It should be what the bride and groom want 1rst and foremost.

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