Crazy things said/done on 1st date!!

In college I had a date that told me in great detail all about the last fight he had with his Mother. The fight got so bad and physical that the police were involved. I got the heck out of there. Unfortunately, he knew too much about me and would show up at my studio. Dodge and weave....

hate when guys think fighting is soooo awesome. (UFC is the only exception). especially domestic violence?? WHAT?? :noway: the last guy i dated was going on and on about how he taught his son to fight back in school and how he kicked this kids *kitten*. he just seemed way TOO happy about it.

These stories are all very helpful for a girl about to try dating again after a year of being single. I'm having a few flashbacks...

I was talking to a "good prospect" on the phone for about a week before we decided to make a date. We planned to meet at my house and then go to a local restaurant for dinner. He had told me he had a cat (which he named "Little Scout") and had mentioned how close he was to said pet. Me, being an animal lover myself, found this to be an endearing quality...Until he showed up at my house for our date with his cat on a leash. Yes, on a leash. He didn't say anything, just walked into the house with a bottle of wine in one hand and cat on a leash in the other...I just stared.

Oh man, I have a whole litany...

There was the guy who asked me out, then asked me to pick him up because he had a suspended license...

The guy who pretended his fortune cookie said he was going to marry me...

The guy who took me to lunch and after I ordered (a salad and soup!) decided to order nothing...

The guy who thought I ran out on him when I went to the bathroom and decided to leave...



I have plenty more.

In high school,my good friend, Mandy was invited to go to the movies by this guy she had been talking to. She was a bit nervous because they had never met (He went to another school and they were set-up by a mutual friend). She asked me to come with her and he was going to bring a friend too. We meet up with them at the movie theater. The guy Jane had been talking to--let's call him Gorilla--is one of the most photogenic people I have ever met. He looked nothing like the cute guy in the yearbook photo we had seen. The friend he brought with him looked like a teenaged version of Ralphie from "A Christmas Story", complete with thick glasses and round cheeks. He was not really my type, but I figured I could sit through one movie with him as he seemed kinda nice. So the four of us buy our tickets, get drinks and popcorn, and settle down in our seats for the movie. The moment Ralphie sits down, he spills his gallon-sized drink--all down his pants. By the time he got back from cleaning himself up, the movie had begun. The movie was Outbreak and Ralphie, in a know-it-all tone, explained to me what was going on in almost every scene as if it were some complex biological thriller that my little girl brain couldn't handle (It's a decent movie, but all it is really about is a bunch of people getting a deadly virus because Patrick Dempsey stole an infected monkey and released it into the woods.) Also, Mandy and Gorilla have decided they really like each other because they are making out--loudly--in the theater. They weren't even kissing. It was more like face eating. People were giving us all dirty looks. It was embarrassing. So after the movie we waiting outside the theater for our rides. The lights outside the theater were bright and because Ralphie had spilled Dr. Pepper all over his khaki pants, it looked like he had had diarrhea so explosive that it went down the front of his pants. We were making awkward small talk while Mandy and Gorilla still clung to each other. He asked for my number. I gave it to him because, at 14, I didn't know how to not do so without it being awkward. When he and Gorilla's ride showed up, he leaned in to kiss me. I turned my face and he ended up slobbering on my cheek. He says "Bye, beautiful. I'll call you tomorrow! (He didn't. Mandy and Gorilla didn't last too long either).

Forgot to mention he was three inches shorter than I was and drove a truck only Ted Bundy could love. Conveniently forgot his wallet at home so I had to pay, and then wanted me to come back to his house to "watch horror movies". The conversation was so bad he told me this ridiculous and terrible story about how there was a fire in his town because someone set a dog on fire for fun. Worst. First. Date. Ever.

Oh, and he tried to surreptitiously tried to grope my tatas. Like I wouldn't notice you doing that!?!

I was like 2 months sober and I went on a date with this guy. He KNEW I was sober, for the record. Before we even ordered our food he looked at me and said, "You know, you should be able to go out with someone and be okay with them drinking. It's not like I have a problem." I was like... Okay, buddy. I was annoyed because I'd never told him he COULDN'T drink. I just choose not to.

Anyways, he ordered a drink... Then another.... Then another.... And by the time we got our food he was a couple drinks in. He barely touched his food and continued to drink. I said something about how he should maybe slow down because he had to drive home. He put his hand up, and (incoherently) said something like, "I don't have to slow down. I don't have a problem!" Those were hard emphasized "I's". **** got even weirder when he started to tell me about how he got a DUI about 3 years back. He was starting to get all weepy, but I didn't know what to do... I didn't want him to get another DUI ahaha.

He ended up getting smashed, and I had to drive him home and then pick a contact from his phone to call to pick up his car. I never heard from him... Thank God.

I had a few but one of the weirdest was a girl I met at a party one time. We flirted all night and exchanged numbers etc. and I forgot about it....until she called me up! So I was like, sure let's go out (I admired her taking inititiative). So we go out and it turned out she had this Jekyl/Hyde personality and was a total pain in the *kitten*. Moody, couldn't converse, all of a sudden wasn't pleasant. I mean, WTF did you ask *me* out for?

Well, I don't like to mess around, so I told her I wasn't gonna tolerate this behavior or treatment. We were at a restaurant having dinner after having gone to a movie, and I calmly told her that I felt her conduct was disrespectful and that I was going to pay for dinner and give her cab money for a ride home. Man, the look of shock on her face! She changed her tune immediately but wasn't really apologetic - and nothing is worse than a high maintenance PITA. I ended up giving her a ride home and she tried to make up for it, but I told her I wasn't going to see her again.

I forgot about the guy who started trying to "save" me on our date. He had pamphlets and everything.

Praise Jesus.

Oh, to tell a story on myself.

Went on a date with a girl who lived in the country at the end of a very long driveway. On the way out, her dog started barking and chasing my car. I ended up running over it.

Yea, killed her dog. That didn't end well for any of us.

AWKWARD.

I did the whole online dating thing. I got a message from this lady with no picture saying she was interested. I am sorry but I have to know who I am talking to. She said we should meet up instead if I wanted to see what she looked like. Well I was bored and the place was down the street so I said why not. 30 minutes later, as I approached the table she sat, thinking oh she is kinda cute. She stood up and gave me a big smile and boom! She had NO TEETH!! AT ALL!!

I actually sat through the whole dinner fighting the urge to tell her what a great smile she had. A year later and my buddies still make fun of me lol.